Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Forty-Two

Into the Abyss Part 3:
Mansion Mishaps

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Callalily Thundersword-Petunia, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights

Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk

Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine

Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine

Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halftaur Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there

Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and mother of the Petunia clan; champion of the Living Dungeon

Astrid Oleander Rockham-Petunia, the Longstrider Shifter Drow Evocation Wizard

Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Raven Familiar
Kazul, the Copper  Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut who has fallen from grace

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne

Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Selkie Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds

Alfalfa Cover Petunia, the Halftaur "Crocling" Wererat Fighter, formerly Rosebud's other half who can't take anything seriously and thinks he's the greatest at everything

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade

Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food

Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla attacked the party at a gateway they found

Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville attacked the party at a gateway they found

Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon

Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow

Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight

Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu

Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)

Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom

Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds

Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him

Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa

Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies

Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home

Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble

Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut- stayed in Blingdenstone

Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone

Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone

Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone

Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone

Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout- MIA after Astrid's wish

Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later- MIA after Astrid's wish, believed to be trapped in the Abyss
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer- stayed on the Material Plane

Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist- stayed on the Material Plane

Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar- stayed on the Material Plane

Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar- stayed on the Material Plane
Arwenel, the Elf Scholar- victim of Geophry's tantrum
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy- banished to the Material Plane

Party members killed: 25

Overall party members lost: 40

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Nightal 10, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Azzagrat, 45th Layer, aboard the Abyssal Kestral

       Momma and I decided we needed to discuss the plans with the captain, and perhaps strike a better deal with him that would get us free. Rosebud came with us, and Seluna attempted to keep Flimflam in our room in the ship, but he threw a fit and followed anyways. It's no wonder Geophry gets along with him so well.

       We learned the captain's name was Olos'nah, and that he wanted mortal souls in exchange for helping us; apparently demon souls weren't worth quite as much. We wanted to arrange a double-cross, where Olos'nah would take us to a bounty office that's easy to escape from, and then aid us in getting away. In return for his aid, Olos'nah wanted us to work for him on the Material Plane, we would collect for him the souls of the people we killed, and after each member of the Petunia family had gathered twenty-five souls, our debt would be paid. He gave us each a crystal, which we were to touch someone with after killing them, but we had a very short window to do so before their souls went to their God, or the Wall.

       Seluna had apparently already negotiated with him for her freedom, so Not-Kazul was the only one who hadn't tried, because she didn't care. He said if she wanted in on the deal, she'd have to pay two thousand souls, the amount her bounty was worth. She had dropped into meditation as soon as we got back from killing the demon treant, and hadn't budged since. Not that I cared.

       Since we wouldn't have our weapons or armor on us when we escaped from the bounty office, Momma decided we needed to spar for practice, so Astrid cast a spell she called Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion, which created a massive mansion full of food and servants for us. The place was incredible, the walls were fish tanks with tons of tropical fish swimming through them, but since it was magic you couldn't see what was on the other side of the wall. She set up a training room in the house, and we all began practicing what we could do unarmed, with no armor or anything.

       Flimflam thought the fish were plotting to kill him, so he cast the spell himself, wanting to go to his own mansion. Astrid felt the edges of her spell begin to bulge, she tried to stop it, but wasn't quick enough. Suddenly Momma, Flimflam, and I were back in the room on the ship, and no one else was anywhere to be seen.

       When Flimflam had cast his spell, he had tried to open an extradimensional space inside an already existing extradimensional space, creating the same reaction that occurs when you put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding. The entire ship had been shunted to the Astral Plane. Everyone who wasn't in the room was within fifty feet of the ship- except for Alfie and Astrid. Astrid and Alfie were lost, floating in the "Astral Sea," a gray expanse of nothingness. 

       We went up top and discovered we were now in a large gray expanse, which Momma said was the Astral Sea. The others were "swimming" to us, and the ship was badly damaged. The ship was adrift and Olos'nah said it was now in dire need of repairs. We searched, but saw no sign of Astrid or Alfie. I prayed we'd find Astrid.

Image courtesy of thecampaign20xx.blogspot.com

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Forty-One

Into the Abyss Part 2:
Bounties Hunted

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Callalily Thundersword-Petunia, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights

Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk

Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine

Urthstripe, Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine

Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halftaur Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there

Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and mother of the Petunia clan; champion of the Living Dungeon

Astrid Oleander Rockham-Petunia, the Longstrider Shifter Evocation Wizard

Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Familiar
Kazul, the Copper  Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut who has fallen from grace

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne

Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy

Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Selkie Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds

Alfalfa Cover Petunia, the Halftaur "Crocling" Wererat Fighter, formerly Rosebud's other half who can't take anything seriously and thinks he's the greatest at everything

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade

Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food

Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla attacked the party at a gateway they found

Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville attacked the party at a gateway they found

Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon

Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow

Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight

Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu

Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)

Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom

Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds

Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him

Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa

Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies

Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home

Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble

Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut- stayed in Blingdenstone

Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone

Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone

Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone

Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone

Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout- MIA after Astrid's wish

Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later- MIA after Astrid's wish, believed to be trapped in the Abyss
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer- stayed on the Material Plane

Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist- stayed on the Material Plane

Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar- stayed on the Material Plane

Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar- stayed on the Material Plane
Arwenel, the Elf Scholar- stayed on the Material Plane

Friendly Fire: 296

Overall party members lost: 39

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Nightal 9, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Azzagrat, 45th Layer

       When we'd finished resting, Momma decided to let Not-Kazul out of his flask to see if he could figure out what's wrong with her. She looked at us all dully, as if she wasn't entirely registering us; she was completely impassive, and when Momma brought up Bahamut, she shrugged and said she guessed he was her God. Momma told her to use her acid breath, and it was a really weak spray; after that Momma used the spell that gives him information and came to the conclusion that Not-Kazul had fallen for killing the unicorn, and Bahamut was punishing her by revoking her powers. That explained why her scales looked tarnished.

       While Momma debated on what to do with Not-Kazul, Rosebud began yelling at Flimflam, demanding he shift into his seal form. He shifted and threw a bolt of flame at Rosebud. My crazy halftaur brother then picked Flimflam up and began running in a circle with him- creating a circle of seal shit. Flimflam was cussing him out the entire time; it was hilarious, and a wonderful distraction from Not-Kazul, who Momma had decided could stay out of the flask.

       We'd been traveling for about half an hour when we heard a vrock screech. Rosebud decided to lead it away from us, by making false tracks for it to follow and concealing our actual tracks.

***** Nightal 10, Azzagrat, 45th Layer

       After about eight hours of travel we were actually able to make out the shapes of the trees; we'd be entering the forest soon, we hoped. Then we heard the sound of vrocks coming from all angles. Momma told us to gather in close so he could drop a Hut on us, and to only step out of it if we had a clear shot.

       Vrocks began to surround us, and their screeches stunned most of us. I started chucking my javelin at one of them, and Rosebud finished it with a toss of his hammer. Then dretches began pouring out of the woods and another vrock swooped in with a screech. Flimflam cast something at it that looked like a beam of pure sunlight, then a phantom carrion crawler appeared next to Flimflam, apparently it was his steed now. Magic is fucking weird. Flimflam's beam didn't kill the vrock, and it managed to poison Astrid before flying back up; Rosebud and I hit it, but apparently we didn't hit it quite hard enough this time.

       The dretches released clouds of poison too, hitting Astrid and Geophry as they began to surround us. Not-Kazul moved to start pounding on the dretches, but she stumbled instead and three of them ripped into her. She's definitely Not-Kazul. Flimflam banished another vrock to the Celestial Plane, and Momma yelled that we needed to get rid of the damn dretches before he could put up the Hut. Alfie actually managed to stab one of them, and Astrid released a spell that looked like a rainbow- which killed the three in front of her. Rosebud and I finished off the last six of them.

       Suddenly Rosebud was unable to move, vrocks can't do that so we must have another enemy we haven't seen yet. Shit. Then Astrid released that rainbow spell again, only this time it was aimed at me, Rosebud, and Not-Kazul; something was controlling her. We still didn't see anything to attack, so Flimflam used a spell to try to clear the poisonous cloud that was still lurking near us. Flimflam turned to us and unleashed a group of multicolored beams at us. Geophry vanished, Astrid was hit with fire, Alfie was struck with poison, and I was struck by acid and cold, and I was suddenly exhausted again, and could not stand without something to lean on.

       Then I was engulfed in flames as Astrid dropped a fireball on me and everything went dark. Lily was charmed by the unseen enemies and told Rosebud that Claire had turned on them and he needed to bind her. Seluna realized what was happening and charmed Lily, overriding the charm the unseen foes had cast; she told Lily to break the enchantments on the others. Flimflam summoned two Hands, going for Rosebud and Lily; he missed the halftaur, but managed to scoop up his adopted mother. 

       Alfie shot his blowgun at Astrid and she went down; he went to retrieve the dart, and somehow managed to completely kill her in the process of removing it. Rosebud had been ordered to stabilize Claire, but keep her subdued; he gave her a potion and whacked her on the temple to keep her unconscious. Lily tried frantically to break the charms on the group, but so far it didn't seem to be working. Flimflam managed to grab and pin Seluna with his Hand, and Rosebud had Alfie in a hold he couldn't break. 

       Kazul ignored the plight of her companions and decided to head for the trees, which attacked her. The monk responded by setting one on fire; she had entered the Viper Forest. Kazul continued trekking through the forest, killing any tree that attacked her- and many of them did. 

      The unseen assailants finally began appearing, it was a group of cambions. Seluna shifted into a huge dinosaur and hit one of the cambion so hard with her tail it dropped. Another cambion went for Lily, with Rosebud's help; but Lily escaped the moment he was hit. Seluna hit the other cambion and it fell to its knees. Lily realized one of them wasn't actually down, it was awake and attempting to subtly cast a spell. 

       One of the cambions decided to head into the forest to go for Kazul, who was still ignoring the battle behind her in favor of killing trees. The cambion did some serious damage to the monk, and she attempted to hide from him in a bush- that was full of thorns. 

       Seluna was faced with little choice other than to beat on Rosebud; still under the charm, he could drop everyone who was still up. Lily pulled out his iron flask and put Rosebud in it, while Seluna worked on killing the cambions. Between the two of them, they managed to drop the three cambions.

       Lily cast a spell to revive everyone, but before the spell went off, a small hole appeared at his feet- which stopped the spell. Another appeared at Seluna's feet, and a third at Kazul's; they were all trapped in force cages. 

       Their captor announced that they needed to surrender if they wanted to live, he would rather take them alive. Lily began trying to force an attunement to his Staff of the Magi to get out of the force cage, but something in the cage prevented it from happening. He released Rosebud from the flask and commanded his son to break them out of the cage.

       After about ten minutes a ship appeared, descending from the air. Instead of wood, the ship was made of flesh and bones, a Ship of Chaos. A tiefling was leaning over the rail pointing a rifle at Lily, and an owlbear in robes was standing behind him. He told Lily that the group had bounties on their heads, everyone's was five hundred souls per person, except for Kazul, whose bounty was for two thousand souls. He said he would let Lily revive everyone if he surrendered peacefully; the entire time holding the gun on Rosebud, ready to kill him if Lily stepped out of line. 

       When I came to Astrid was a drow, and Momma explained to us that there were bounties on all of our heads. He said if we went peacefully with the tiefling threatening to kill Rosebud, we could make some sort of deal with him. We had little choice in the matter, so we all agreed. The tiefling said he'd take us to one of the outskirt bounty offices, instead of one in a city, so that we'd have an easier time escaping. He vouched for all of the Petunia Clan, so everyone except Not-Kazul, technically Seluna hadn't been adopted in, but that was only because she declined to be, that we would behave and not try to escape.

     The ship was the most peculiar thing I've ever seen. In the center of it was a massive maw where they fed living things to it, in order to keep it alive and regenerating. Where there should have been wood was bone, with flesh, and the rigging and sails seemed to be made of muscles. Needless to say, the thing was utterly disgusting.

       Since feeding souls to the ship was what kept it running, the captain told us that we would stay the night where we were, in hopes that someone would come walking by that he could scoop up and feed to the ship. We hadn't gotten the tiefling's name, but it seemed to be just him and the owlbear that he called his brother aboard.

       Rosebud randomly started beating up Alfie, and would not stop when Momma told him to; he was in big trouble now, and it was both amusing and terrifying to watch Momma berate my brother for ignoring him.

       After about seven hours, something was spotted in the trees below us. Momma, Rosebud, and Alfie jumped off the ship, while I pulled out the flying carpet I'd gotten from the dragon mummy and Astrid and I flew down. Not-Kazul stayed on the deck, watching us with her cold, dead eyes; it seemed I had not been wrong to send that letter to her temple, she was pretty much dead. I loathed what she had become, and wanted her out of my life for good.

       Trees began to attack Rosebud as soon as he landed, so Astrid shot some force darts at it, and it seemed to die. As we descended, I heard the captain tell Not-Kazul to go down and help us, she jumped off, but if this was anything like the last fight, she was just going to abandon us again; I don't think I've ever despised someone as much as I do her. Seluna became a bird and followed us to the ground.

       Below us Rosebud began beating on another tree, while one went for Alfie- who responded by biting the tree. Flimflam did his fire breath at a cluster of trees and was flung thirty or so feet away, landing in a bush, that began hurting him. I whipped at the bush, and it shuddered, then my brother fell unconscious. The tree Alfie had bit seemed to bite him back, and he froze as though he couldn't move. Rosebud and Astrid began slinging fire at the trees, and I revived Flimflam before killing a tree myself.

       Suddenly, green fists came shooting out of the ground, grabbing Astrid, and punching Rosebud and Not-Kazul; Astrid was pulled underground with the hands. I pulled out Urthstripe and sent him into the ground to find Astrid, just before a tentacle wrapped around me. I managed to sever it, but it still kept its hold- this place sucks. Not-Kazul was apparently uninterested in going after Astrid, though that shouldn't have surprised me, and she began beating up a different tree.

       The green fists came at us again, this time striking me, Momma, Flimflam, and Not-Kazul. Before they could retreat I stabbed one of them with my acid blade. Beneath the ground, Astrid struggled to escape the demonic treant, but it proved too strong for her. Urthstripe came across the treant and it killed him, reverting him back to a figurine. A bush began to strike me, and I retaliated- I couldn't help my friend and sister while being hit by that stupid bush. Flimflam set another section of the forest on fire, because he's a fucking pyro. Rosebud threw his hammers down the tunnel that Urthstripe had dug us, and from the cry of pain, I think he hit the owner of those green fists.

       A massive tree came partway out of the ground, and we all set our attacks on it. It died with a shudder, and we were able to free Astrid.

***** Neverwinter

       When Geophry vanished, he ended up back in Neverwinter, in the Tower. He threw a full on tantrum at being sent back, and began rampaging through the place. Amin barricaded himself in his room in the dungeon, but Arwenel wasn't so lucky. Geophry killed her, and Amin was the only witness; he told Lith and Niles that Geophry was an evil little monster, but they never found any proof of that. Lith and Niles were able to calm Geophry down, but unfortunately it was too late for them to save their friend. 

Image courtesy of thecampaign20xx.blogspot.com

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Forty

Into the Abyss Part 1:
The Arena

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Callalily Thundersword-Petunia, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights

Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk

Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine

Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine

Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halftaur Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there

Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and mother of the Petunia clan; champion of the Living Dungeon

Astrid Oleander Rockham-Petunia, the Longstrider Shifter Evocation Wizard

Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Familiar

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne

Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer

Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy

Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist

Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar

Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar

Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds

Arwenel, the Elf Scholar

Alfalfa Cover Petunia, the Halftaur "Crocling" Wererat Fighter, formerly Rosebud's other half who can't take anything seriously and thinks he's the greatest at everything

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade

Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food

Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla attacked the party at a gateway they found

Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville attacked the party at a gateway they found

Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon

Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow

Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight

Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu

Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)

Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom

Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds

Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him

Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa

Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies

Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home

Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble

Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamu- stayed in Blingdenstone

Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone

Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone

Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone

Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone

Kazul, the Copper  Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget was restored to life by her god- MIA after Astrid's wish

Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout- MIA after Astrid's wish

Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later- MIA after Astrid's wish, believed to be trapped in the Abyss

Friendly Fire: 272

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Nightal 5, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Neverwinter

       We realized that Alfie wasn't with us, he had run away when Momma had scared him for trying to bite him. Retracing our steps, we eventually found my brother cowering in fear in the top room of the pyramid- a room that was quickly filling with smoke. Momma said the only way we could get out would be to plane shift, and Lith said she could protect us for a few seconds in the Feywild. Momma cast the spell, and I felt a lurch, as if I'd been shifted to the left without moving; it was an odd sensation.

       We were in a large, cold, finely but sparsely decorated foyer, with torches that glittered in an icy blue light. All of the eyes in the portraits shifted to gaze at us, and every statue began advancing on us. Thankfully Momma was able to move us out of there, and to the Tower before they could do anything.

       Seluna told us that about two blocks of the city were on fire because of us, and she cast out about a hundred different seeds so the forest wouldn't take to heavy of a loss in the rebuilding that would now have to happen.

***** Nightal 6, Neverwinter

       In the morning we divvied up the mummy's hoard, and Astrid found something that made her give Flimflam that stupid ring. Momma and Rosebud went into the city to get some shopping done so we could leave; I stayed behind to finish the Tome Momma had bought me, and Astrid needed to copy her spells into her new book. When they returned they said there was going to be an auction that night that we needed to attend.

       I left a little early for the auction so I could mail a few letters. I sent letters to Elle's pack, Kara's mercenary group, and Vadania's village telling them what happened and the heroic actions my friends had done that led to their deaths. I also sent one to Kazul's temple telling them of her death in Bahamutsville. I left out the part about her being brought back, because she was trapped in the Abyss, and because she isn't Kazul anymore. The final letter I sent was to my mother in Cormyr, telling her that I was very much alive, explaining that the Deck of Many Things is what led them to give up on me, and telling her I very much wanted to come home, but I wanted to resume my life. I couldn't resume my life in the Thundersword family or in the Army of the Purple Dragon while I was considered dead. I whispered a prayer to Torm that my family would reverse this and let me come home.

       Momma ended up buying out the entire auction, and we got some wonderful goods for the money.

***** Nightal 7, Neverwinter

       I needed twelve more hours to finish the Tome Momma had gotten me, and I really wanted to finish it before we went to the Abyss- which worked well, since Astrid was still working on adding her spells to the new book we'd gotten from the hoard.

       Momma and Rosebud went back into town to pick up and order and finish up any last minute shopping. A wizard from the auction the night before jumped Momma in an alley, so Momma teleported them all back to the Tower and attempted to bind the wizard. He escaped and turned Rosebud into a chicken, then Astrid into a rabbit. Once Momma dispelled the magic that made Astrid a rabbit, he adopted Astrid into our odd little family.

***** Nightal 8, Neverwinter

       We were finally ready to go to the Abyss to find Mithrilye, and possibly Not-Kazul. After a little debate, it was decided that Flimflam, Geophry, and Seluna would accompany us there; Alfie threw a tantrum and stormed off when we told him he had to stay in the Tower. Amin made us some amazing potions before we left, and I asked Lith to take care of Riddle for me; I whispered a prayer to Torm that he wouldn't be permanently in her care.

       Finally we made the shift, but it was different this time. Just as our destination began to take shape, we felt as if we were shunted to a different location. Flimflam was a little sick when we arrived- in an arena in the middle of a feast. In the ring were a couple groups of slaves, some fighting, and some fucking- we were definitely in Graz'zt's realm, and right next to the weird orgy.

       There was a gasp of surprise from the audience, followed by applause; I think they thought we were there on purpose. We were in a hazy landscape, and we could almost make out a tree line in the distance, but it seemed pretty far off. Momma said "greetings from the Material Plane," and apologized for interrupting their party. A female lamia told everyone to clear the stage, and asked what we were doing here- I think she may have been the host, considering how quickly the slaves moved at her command.

       Momma gave her an odd description of what we were doing there, saying we were looking for a couple of missing slaves of hers. The lamia told us to come and enjoy her hospitality before discussing our plight; Momma started to move toward her, but was stopped by guards, and the demon harshly told us we'd speak later.

       With that, the fights resumed, and a small group of adventurers was destroyed by a displacer beast. Momma started bragging that Rosebud or I could easily take the beast- then Rosebud said he could with one hand tied behind his back. She told us that if we all fought her creatures and won we would receive safe passage out of there.

       Rosebud went first, fighting that displacer beast with one hand tied behind his back. Of course, my brother won that fight. Next up went Flimflam and Geophry, against a doppelganger; they won their fight too, with Flimflam shouting to the crowd that he would murder everyone. Astrid was next up, fighting against a cockatrice, and she disintegrated it right away.

       My fight did not go as well as my sibling's fights had. I was fighting a demon ape thing- I think Momma said at one point that they're call balguras. It was creepy as hell, and we exchanged blows for what felt like forever, before the thing pinned me down. The last thing I remember is pain and my vision darkening. Claire was dead, so Rosebud ran into the arena to avenge his sister and bring her body back to Lily for revival. He defeated the ape, declared himself "Bud, the Crusher of Rapist Demon Apes," and got Claire's body back just in time. I came to with Momma shoving potions down my throat, telling me I'd died for a couple of seconds, but not long enough for the ritual that's illegal according to Cormyrean law.

       Munching on some bread, I turned my attention back to the arena in time to see a very familiar platinum dragonborn walking in. Not-Kazul was here, and seemed to be in a daze. Astrid asked me if I was okay, and since I'd already made peace with the real Kazul being dead, and this platinum version being an impostor, I didn't really care. Not-Kazul was fighting a unicorn... that wouldn't go well for her, no matter how the fight ended. After exchanging blows for a moment, Not-Kazul killed the unicorn, and with a burst of energy it became a nightmare. Not-Kazul's scales took on a tarnished look, it seemed Bahamut was punishing her, which makes sense since killing a unicorn is a completely evil deed.

       Momma named himself his champion and said he wanted to fight Not-Kazul. Momma grabbed her right away, turned her into a mouse, and sucked her into his iron flask. It was very anti-climactic, except for Alfie popping out of the flask the moment Momma opened it. Apparently the little shit had hidden himself in there so he could come with us.

       After that we just had to watch the shows for a couple of hours before the lamia decided to let us leave. The safe passage she was granting us through her lands ended right outside the arena- of course.

       Momma thought that Mithrilye was in one of Graz'zt's towers, and did some sort of spell with an amulet that indicated we should head toward the forest, that was so far away we could barely make out its existence. With that big of a distance to travel, we began to brainstorm ways to travel faster, but were interrupted when Alfie began throwing stars at Momma. Momma was furious and summoned his Hand, scooping my strange little brother up in it, bringing him over to him, and spanking him with the Hand. Alfie's ass was broken, and he was really fucked up. I took the Robe of Stars away from him per Momma's request.

       As we traveled I heard Geophry telling Rosebud to make a song about me being humped to death by the demon ape... the song was awful. When that got shut down, he started picking on Alfie; for some reason, Geophry cannot stand our new brother.

       Eventually we stopped and made camp, the Hut was really crowded with so many of us. While we rested, Momma put something called a Geas on Alfie to make him like him. These random attacks on Momma were getting very irritating to all of us.

***** Nightal 9, Azzagrat, 45th Layer

       It took us a little while to figure out which direction we had been traveling in last night, the landscape here kind of blended together. Rosebud had left a mark on the ground, outside our Hut, but it had gotten a little smudged in the night. Thankfully, Momma was able to determine which was we needed to go.

       After eight hours of walking, I dropped to the ground from exhaustion. I don't know why I was suddenly so wiped out, but I just couldn't walk another step. As I stumbled, we felt a rumbling in the ground, but before we could react to that, there was a familiar screech and a vrock dove at us. Shit. This was not a good time for this.

       Rosebud threw his hammers at the fiend just before it stunned him, Astrid, Alfie, and Chairy. One vrock dove at Astrid and another went for Rosebud; I rose, stumbled to the vrock that was attacking Astrid, and slashed it with my whip. Flimflam pointed his staff at the vrock on Rosebud and used plane shift to send it somewhere. It ended up in the Celestial Plane. 

       Seluna cast something on me that made me feel much better, and Momma attempted to turn a vrock into a mouse; instead, poison came out of it, poisoning Alfie and Geophry. The rumbling had been getting louder and louder during all of this, and suddenly a minotaur looking thing came charging in, spearing Momma on his horn, and punching him off. Momma didn't die, but he didn't look too god either. Momma told us later that this thing was a goristro called Orwantz who acted as border patrol for Graz'zt.

       I finished off the vrock and went for Orwantz, hitting him once with my blade. Flimflam used the plane shift on Orwantz, hoping to send him to the Celestial Plane as well. We collected ourselves, and about a minute passed before Orwantz returned; we'd hoped since the vrock hadn't come back that he wouldn't either. He speared Flimflam, and my brother crumpled in his seat- he seemed to be dying. Shit.

       I ran up to it and channeled my anger at it through my blade, hitting it with several vicious attacks and bashing it with Demon's Mirror, my shield. Seluna slashed at it with her blade, and even though it somehow- magically- drew no blood, the demon screamed in pain from her assault. Rosebud blew his horn and summoned his gargoyles, who instantly surrounded the beast. Astrid screamed at it, and Alfie- having been given back his Robe of Stars because of the Geas- tossed two stars at it. Orwantz slammed his foot into the ground, causing tremors to ripple out around us; they fucking hurt, and Astrid went down.

       Seluna, Rosebud, and I continued beating him, and it seemed to be hurting him, but he didn't seem to be injured enough yet to start wavering. As I felt my injuries knit closed from Momma's healing magic, it stomped its foot again, making us all stumble back. That quake must have messed up my balance a little bit, because my next series of strikes pinged off his armor; except my shield, but it doesn't do much damage on its own. Seluna hurried to revive Astrid, and Orwantz slashed her as she moved away, I retaliated with a strike of my own on him,

       As we continued slashing at it, it moved like it was going to charge Seluna, but instead went for Momma, hitting both him and Chairy with a nasty blow. Geophry toppled over and Momma was thrown about twenty feet away. Then the fucker went to stab behind Alfie. I followed it and began another series of strikes against it; between my strikes and Rosebud's- which were fueled by pure hatred at the sight of what this thing had done to our family- it was bleeding profusely and swaying on its feet. It shoved me aside and went for Seluna and Astrid, both of them dropped from the attack. Momma revived both of them, and after a bunch more blows, it finally went down. We saw its soul fly off, but knew it would be back eventually.

       Flimflam was completely dead, so Seluna had to reincarnate him. He turned into a selkie, which Momma said are elves that turn into seals; his new forms were peculiar.

       We only traveled for another hour, to get some distance between us and Orwantz, before Momma set up the Hut so we could get some rest; that had been an exhausting battle.

       Geophry offered Alfie a draw from the Deck of Many Things, and he chose two cards. The first one he drew was Ruin, luckily for him he didn't really have anything. Alfie's second draw was the Moon, and he got two wishes. First he wished for normal sized arms, and suddenly he had halfing-looking arms that were super buff. His second wish was beneficial to all of us: "I wish the demons couldn't hurt all of us, like all the time, as much." Hopefully that would make the demons unable to hurt us as easily.

Photo owned by Wizards of the Coast, artwork by Jared Blando.

Image courtesy of thecampaign20xx.blogspot.com/

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Seven

Drowning in Paperwork

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword-Petunia, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud, Geophry, Flimflam, and Claire's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Astrid Rockham, the Longstrider Shifter Evocation Wizard
Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Familiar

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds and thinks everyone should be gluttonous
Arwenel, the Elf Scholar
Falkryn Stonekey, the Shield Dwarf Ruin Raider
Schnella Stonesneak, the Deep Gnome Delver

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla attacked the party at a gateway they found
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville attacked the party at a gateway they found
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her- stayed in Blingdenstone
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone
Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone
Kazul, the Copper  Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget was restored to life by her god- MIA after Astrid's wish
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout- MIA after Astrid's wish
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later- MIA after Astrid's wish, believed to be trapped in the Abyss

Friendly Fire: 225
Party members killed: 24
Overall party members lost: 39

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** The Feast of the Moon Holiday, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Gauntlgrym

       When everything was properly oriented again, we were standing in front of some massive gates that seemed to make up the face of a dwarf. There was some movement on the battlements above us, but it was hard to make much out. On the ground next to us were two human corpses, that appeared to have been flogged to death. Astrid said they were Fred and George, her friends from her ship, and the only ones still alive when she had escaped. Momma gathered samples from each of the so we could resurrect them later.

       Flimflam, Schnella, Falkryn, Geophry, and Lith were still unconscious from the drow poison, but what mattered was they were here.

       We realized that Twyla, Mithrilye, and Not-Kazul weren't with us, something had prevented Astrid's wish from bringing them with us. While I didn't really care what happened to Not-Kazul, I was worried about Twyla and Mithrilye.

       Rosebud yelled at the gates and banged on them with his hammer. Someone responded, asking what we were doing there, people were supposed to be going to the upper bastion. Since we hadn't gone through any of the checkpoints that would have led us to the upper bastion, we didn't know. Before they could let us through the gates, two enormous snails landed next to us.

       Frantically Rosebud slapped Schnella and Falkryn awake, while Astrid attempt to wake up Lith- but she wouldn't rise. I slapped Flimflam and the jackass wouldn't budge- of course when we need him he's napping. I hate drow poison. One of the snails lashed out tentacles at me, as if they were flails; the other did the same to Falkryn. Momma threw up a wall of fire between the snail and Flimflam, Geophry, and I, to buy me time to wake their asses up.

       Rosebud pounded on the snail that was on him and Falkryn- but he also hit Falkryn once too. Astrid tried again to rouse Lith, and I tried on both Flimflam and Geophry to no avail. Momma even threw an insult at Geophry, and he still didn't wake. The snail that was behind the fire wall moved through it as if it wasn't even there, and began flailing at me, Flimflam, and Geophry- and those hits actually woke up Geophry! Flimflam ended up with a concussion and a broken leg from the beating. 

       Falkryn tossed her grapple at the snail on her and began to climb it- it lashed out and hit her pretty hard, she started swinging, but held tight to the rope; then she lashed at it with a silver chain. Schnella joined the assault on that snail and seemed to hurt it pretty badly, it flailed at them in response, then withdrew into its shell to hide. Rosebud began beating on the shell in rage- I think he was trying to crack it open.

       From behind me, a beam of crackling blue energy came at the snail on me, but the magic seemed to vanish right in front of it. Shit. I stabbed it with my javelin, and the lightning was reflected back at me- that thing fucking hurts. I used the battleaxe function on my Rod to hack into the beast. Momma slashed his palm to use blood magic again, I heard him mutter something about waking up the others. The snail's flail slammed into Lith hard, and I heard a sickening crunch that signified it had broken something- probably a rib given the spot it hit her. Geophry began zapping Flimflam, trying hard to wake him up, but still the insane svirfneblin refused to rise.

       Falkryn swung into the shell of the other one, and was probably going to finish it off. I managed to score one hit on mine through its shell, and Rosebud joined me in beating on it. Some glowing darts came flying from behind me again- likely from Astrid- and instead of going into the shell they exploded all around her. Momma attempted his blood magic again, and it again seemed to fail. The snail poked its head out and spat a rope of goo, then it swung to the gate; Rosebud and I each got a hit in before it got away.

       Geophry seemed determined to wake up Flimflam, as he shoved a potion down Flimflam's throat and then slammed his head against the ground- and he still didn't rise. Rosebud took a shot at the snail, then I used my new crossbow... and it fucking jammed. Momma sprayed his blood all over our sleeping friends to set off whatever spell it was he was using to awaken everyone; the spell worked, and he collapsed. Geophry was instantly at Momma's side, pouring a potion down his throat. The one on the wall seemed dead, so we all moved to the one hiding in its shell on the ground. Then Seluna got up and asked why we were beating up dead snails.

       Several dwarves emerged from the gates to confirm that the snails were dead, and asked why we didn't come in through a safer route. Momma explained to them that we had been wished here, and didn't know about the dangers lurking outside these gates. They permitted us entrance and brought us to a waiting area; a couple of minutes later we were brought food and ale.

       Geophry was being bratty at me, and Momma reminded him that he had adopted me too, so Chairy pulled my hair. Little brothers are the worst sometimes. Then Geophry dared me to kick him, but I wouldn't rise to his bait- so Rosebud kicked him, and his foot got stuck to Chairy somehow.

       While we waited Momma instructed Geophry to pretend he was just a chair in front of others, for his own safety. Eventually a dwarf in full plate armor came in, introducing himself as Gurnin Bloodshield, and said he was here to take our statement. Momma rambled out the story, in much less eloquence than normal, and Gurnin told us he believed us, even though a lot of our story sounded insane. Which honestly, if I hadn't lived it I'd probably think much of it was insane too. After that some of their priests came in to heal Momma, since he'd taken heavy damage trying to wake everyone up during the snail fight. Gods, even saying "snail fight" sounds insane; in Cormyr they're a delicacy, and here I am slaughtering enormous ones.

       We were taken to accommodations by way of a mine cart, I was a little surprised they had one Rosebud could fit in, and on the way we were given a tour of the city- it was breathtaking. The work the ancient dwarves must have put into creating something like this was incredible; I thought Cormyrean cities were amazing, but this was like nothing I'd even seen before. When we finally arrived at our rooms they were fantastic; apparently they have rooms set up for surfacer's comforts.

       Momma and Astrid went to nap, they were completely exhausted; Rosebud and Geophry decided they wanted to go shopping, and I went with them so they'd have some supervision. The jackasses took off before I could follow them, and by the time I caught up, Rosebud had purchased several magical items and was in the process of buying out a food stall. He got directions for where to find the best ale, and the shitheads took off before I could follow them.

       Since I had no hope of catching up with my brothers, I went to the smith's guild to get directions to the Forge, so I could deliver the box to Dwarvenforge's kin. I got horribly lost and ended up in a mine. Instead of getting myself even more lost, I decided to help the miners in exchange for them helping me get back when they were done. For the first couple of hours I kept up with them pretty well, but by the end of the last hour I could barely lift my pickaxe. They gave me endless shit about it on the way back to my rooms.

       When I got back the room was completely packed with food and booze- Rosebud had been very busy. I was so exhausted that I headed straight for bed without having anything. As I passed Momma on the way he cast a spell on me that made me slightly less miserable, but I was still barely able to stay awake long enough to get out of my armor.

***** Nightal 1, Gauntlgrym

       The next morning a dwarf in robes came by to take our statement for King Bruenor, and Momma was much more awake today, so he gave them a much better report of what had happened. We were told the King would want to see us soon. They also inquired about the alcohol in our room, and Rosebud told them where he got it from; turns out it was a group of thieves who he had purchased it from, and the information he provided could lead to an arrest.

       We also requested an area to put up the Tower, and there was a lot of red tape we had to get through before they'd allow us something like that. Before the dwarf left, I told them I needed to deliver something to Dwarvenforge, and he said he'd pass along the message.

       After he left Momma told us he had a nightmare that Mithrilye was in the Abyss being tortured. We needed to go after her as soon as possible.

       Later that day Rosebud was given a badge for helping them apprehend the criminals, which he could take to the quartermaster for a reward.

***** Nightal 2, Gauntlgrym

       The next morning we were woken up to a deep gnome knocking at our door, it was Dwarvenforge's kin. I gave him the box I'd been carrying around for so long, and we placed some orders for gear from him.

       We needed to get some better magic items if we were to go into the Abyss, so Astrid went to inquire about those. It turns out we have to fill out forms to purchase those types of things, and those forms were available at the quartermaster's place.

       The badge Rosebud had gave him some credits and permission to buy items, but the rest of us still had to fill out the forms. I had to fill out a lengthy lineage tree, while the others had to fill out lengthy background reports. We were told they'd have our answers in the morning.

       That night we all went to the tavern to blow off some steam- well, everyone except Seluna and Niles, who had barely left the kitchen since we'd arrived. When we got back to the rooms we found that they weren't completely packed with food anymore. Seluna and Niles had hidden the food to keep Flimflam from constantly eating it, which was pretty much all he'd done since it had been delivered. 

***** Nightal 3. Gauntlgrym

       The next morning Lily rose very early and slipped out of their rooms to get to the quartermaster the moment he opened the doors. When the quartermaster finally opened, he told Lily that Astrid had been denied, handing him a very thick folder explaining why; it all boiled down to her life of crime and piracy. 

       Claire had been denied as well, because the Ruin card she'd drawn had made her family declare her dead. The Thunderswords had told the quartermaster that she was most certainly dead, and if someone was there claiming to be her, it was an impostor, not the real Claire.

       The quartermaster told Lily that they wouldn't be taking legal action against Claire or Astrid, but they would be keeping an eye on the two of them. 

       Lily, Flimflam, and Rosebud were the only ones who had been approved to purchase magic items. 

       Lily returned to the room and woke up everyone except Claire and Astrid to discuss what he had learned about them. Once he had talked to the others he decided to wake them up in the loudest, most obnoxious way possible. 

       I woke to Momma's voice booming that it was time to get up. He told us that Astrid and I had been denied permission to purchase magic items, and handed Astrid a massive folder. Momma said she had best behave herself while we're in this city.

       Then he handed me a much smaller folder, and told me that according to my family I was dead. He put up the truth telling spell and had me tell him everything of my journey again; once I'd finished that he explained that the Ruin card I'd drawn from the Deck of Many Things must have been the culprit. I had to find a Fates card to undo the Ruin card in order to go home. Then Momma said that perhaps the Fates are trying to take me out, considering I drew the card that made the angel of death appear.

       My entire world had just crashed around my ears. My life was over. I was no longer Lady Claire Thundersword, but merely Claire. I wanted to just crawl under a rock and die. Instead I grabbed a large bottle of liquor and began drinking. Eventually Astrid began reading her file to me, telling me stories from her criminal past; they were amusing, but didn't do anything to pull me out of the pit of despair I now found myself in.

       Lily, Rosebud, and Flimflam decided to go out shopping while I drank my sorrow, I didn't care if they found me anything useful. I just wanted to cry and drink.

       Lily searched for and found the black market, attempting to entice them into stealing a Deck of Many Things he'd found in the most upscale part of the markets. Shortly after he came back, there was a commotion in that area, and Lily was sure it was one of them stealing the Deck. It took them several hours to finally get out of the area, but they had made some good purchases. 

       After Momma got back from shopping, a messenger showed up and told us we needed to fill out a bunch of forms in order to erect the Tower. Momma tried to find some way around that, but the dwarf insisted there wasn't one. This place sucks. Its bureaucracy is worse than Cormyr's.

       Momma also had a plan to steal a Deck of Many Things from some thief in the city. Of course I was in, since only a Fates card would allow me to come home. Rosebud was much father ahead of a us, and we caught up with him in the red lantern district, having far too much fun in a brothel. Momma paid them to keep him, Geophry, and Flimflam busy for a while, and suggested Astrid and I also enjoy ourselves. Since stealth isn't really my thing anyways I stayed, but I wasn't really that into it.

       Lily and Lith went out on their own to the house of the man who they believed had stolen the Deck. When they arrived, they found him dead, with the deed to a keep next to him; he'd drawn the wrong card. Lith picked up the Deck, did a divination spell, moved some cards around, and drew the Star, the Vizier, and the Fates cards. Her patron had given her a mission to collect as many Fates cards as possible from the Deck, but in this draw, she took the one card Claire so desperately needed. 

       Eventually Momma and Lith came back to the brothel and got everyone, the boys were very unhappy to leave and whined the entire way home. When we got back to our little villa Momma produced the Deck and told us all we could draw from it. Rosebud went first, drawing the Knight, and causing a strange creature with the head of a horse attached to the hips of a halfling to appear. Apparently this is Rosebud's other half, Alfalfa; when Momma had created Rosebud he'd used the parts that were leftover to create this odd monstrosity. Rosebud's luck with the Deck didn't last though, and he drew the Ruin- which wrote him out of Lily's will.

       I needed to draw, but couldn't risk losing anything else that was important to me, so I completely stripped down, gave all of my things to Momma, claiming he owned them while I drew. Astrid did the same before she drew, but that didn't seem to help her luck much. She drew the Euryale, which is apparently a curse, followed by the Donjon which caused her to vanish. I went next and drew the Talon, which caused my Rod of Lordly Might, my Belt of Dwarvenkind, and my hand to disintegrate. Momma said it was supposed to make all of my magical items vanish, but since I had given him all of them before drawing, it could only dust what I had been attuned to. My second card was the Key, and a Defender sword appeared in my hand. It was a halfway decent sword, I guess, but it wasn't my Rod. I loved that thing. Maybe this stupid Deck really is out to get me.

       Flimflam went next, drawing first the Comet, which didn't seem to do anything, then he drew the Sun which gave him some magical item- I'm not sure which, I wasn't paying much attention; his final card was Balance, and I don't know what they card did either.

       Geophry was in the midst of drawing when Lith told him to say "yes" first. Then the little shit drew the Moon and got three wishes. Momma went next and drew the Rogue. Niles went last, drawing the Flames card.

       Now that we were done, Lith told Momma she wanted to make a deal to help get Astrid back, which would require him to give her assistance once when requested. He agreed and made Geophry use a wish to get her location. Then they had to convince Flimflam to let them borrow his Staff of the Magi, so they could plane shift to her. As Momma and Geophry vanished, a thirty foot geyser of oil erupted from the floor. I was still naked, and now covered in oil, slipping and sliding all over the place. Flimflam started making lecherous comments at me, and ignored me when I reminded him I'm his sister now. I yelled at him to fix the issue, so the asshole set the oil on fire, burning up everything in the room that wasn't magical- but he somehow didn't hurt me. He then hit me in the face with a firebolt, I guess just because he could.

       Momma, Astrid, and Geophry reappeared after that, to find scorch marks all over the room, and Flimflam trying to grope me with his Hand. I punched him and walked away, so he began attacking me with his Hand; I didn't want to fight him, but apparently that wasn't mutual, since the jackass kept hitting me, and managed to knock me unconscious. After Momma revived me, he punched Flimflam for being a perverted dick.

       I now had no clothing, thanks to Flimflam, and no longer hand a hand. Lith let me borrow one of her dresses, and we went to the temple to get my fingers regrown. It took about two minutes, and was the most agonizing pain I've ever experienced; I almost passed out. After that we bought me new clothes.

Photo from the "Gauntlgrym" novel by R.A. Salvatore

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Six

The Deep Roads

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud, Geophry, and Flimflam's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Astrid Rockham, the Longstrider Shifter Evocation Wizard
Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Familiar
Kazul, the Copper  Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget was restored to life by her god

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds and thinks everyone should be gluttonous
Arwenel, the Elf Scholar
Falkryn Stonekey, the Shield Dwarf Ruin Raider
Schnella Stonesneak, the Deep Gnome Deep Delver

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her- stayed in Blingdenstone
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone
Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone

Friendly Fire: 216
Party members killed: 24
Overall party members lost: 36

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Uktar 26, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Deep Roads

       When we stopped to camp tonight, Geophry pulled out a deck of cards that he said was a Deck of Many Things. I've heard of these, they're very rare. He offered us each a draw from the deck. Lily drew first, pulling out the Throne and the Rogue; which I don't know what either of those mean, but he seemed pleased about the Throne card. Rosebud drew next, he only took one card, and got the Flames. I went next, and drew the Ruin card and all of my money turned to dust, then I drew the Skull card and an avatar of death appeared before me. I had to fight the damned thing, and I barely beat it; after drawing it Lily adopted me into the Petunia clan. Flimflam was next to draw, and he got the Euryale- which made him shudder- and the Key, which caused a magical staff to appear in his hands. The odd platinum dragonborn drew next, taking two cards; she drew the Sun, causing an Iron Flask to appear in her hands, and the Void, which made her keel over.

       We didn't know really anything about this quiet dragonborn, but someone said her name was Kazul; that must be a common name for dragonborn. Lily used a spell that gives him information on things and people, asking me to tell him about my Kazul, so I did, even though it was impossible for that one to be the same. Somehow though, Lily's spell came back saying that it was my Kazul, but that doesn't make sense, how could it possibly be her? I stared at Lily, stunned and trying to process this information, when a cry of surprise was made by Rosebud behind us.

       While Lily had been working on that spell, Geophry had picked up the iron flask Kazul had been holding, but since he doesn't have hands he convinced Rosebud to open it for him. A nalfeshnee demon came out of the flask, and turned to look at the halftaur who had just released it. 

       Some hideous demon thing was staring at Rosebud, and it told him to say its name; to which Rosebud said "my name." The demon pressed, and Rosebud apparently said its name on accident, causing him to lose control of the demon- who promptly turned to attack us. It scared me, and I began to run away from it, as did Mithrilye and Geophry.

       The nalfeshnee turned to Rosebud and bit him, hurting the barbarian badly. Lily summoned his Hand, and accidentally hit Rosebud with it instead of the demon- the halftaur was very badly injured now. Rosebud grabbed the horn he'd gotten in Blingdenstone that summons gargoyles to fight for him, using them as a distraction so he could take a couple potions before the nalfeshnee got anymore blows in.

       Astrid Rockham had escaped the drow who had taken her and her crew prisoner, and had been lost for what felt like days in the tunnels of the Underdark. She heard the sounds of combat coming from the chamber up ahead and began moving toward them. Then she slipped and fell, tumbling head over heel, and landing in a chamber where an odd group of adventurers was fighting a nalfeshnee.

       Lily and Flimflam were  both hit with the demon's fear, and turned to run, leaving Rosebud mostly alone to deal with it. His elementals did some damage to it, but really it hurt the elementals more than they hurt it. Rosebud noticed the nalfeshnee was covered in piercings, and he grabbed a ruby nipple ring and ripped it out- the demon collapsed from the pain, allowing the gargoyles to rip into it. Astrid sent some magic missiles at it, and with that the demon flew up and away- getting a few more lashes from the gargoyles- and said it would be back, as it ran away.

       Rosebud presented a ruby nipple ring to Lily when we had all gotten our wits about us. Lily said it was a phylactery of some kind, and turned to Astrid- the wizard who had stumbled upon us- to draw a circle so he could identify it.

       I recognized Astrid from Cormyr, when I'd arrested her for piracy early in my career. She had escaped from me, by using that mist spell that Flimflam uses to get away from things. It was good to see a familiar face down here, even if it was someone I had arrested.

       Lily said the soul in the ruby was humanoid, and his lore spell told him the soul had entered the ruby very recently. He had Rosebud put the fake Kazul's body in the circle, and then smashed the ruby to release the soul. Rosebud smashed the stone and a boom reverberated throughout the cavern; I felt more than heard it. Ruby dust went everywhere, the circle was trashed, and the soul returned to the body. I cannot believe that this is Kazul, if it was my cherie she would have said something to me before we left Blingdenstone. She needs to stay away from me.

       Before we retired for the night, Geophry offered Astrid a draw from the Deck of Many Things, which she accepted. She drew the Moon card, and Momma said that gave her one wish.

***** Uktar 27, Deep Roads

       When we set up camp for the night, the impostor Kazul approached me, she wanted to know why I wanted nothing to do with her. She also recognized the holy symbol and prayer book that I had taken as tokens to remember my cherie by. So she recognized a couple of small things, but cannot remember the friend who stood by her for months. I tossed the book at her, kept the holy symbol, and told her to stay away from me. I want nothing to do with this impostor. The rage that filled me was somewhat overwhelming, and I was surprised that I did not attack her- I really wanted to.

       I learned that Astrid can turn any liquid into alcohol. She's amazing, I think we'll become good friends.

***** Uktar 28, Deep Roads

       We found what Momma said was an ancient dwarven way marker, but none of us could read it. Momma even tried using my Belt of Dwarvenkind as a focus, and he still couldn't get anything. Even though we couldn't read it, we figured it would be best to just follow the marker; it was most likely to take us where we wanted to go.

       Schnella stopped us at a chasm, she said it was newly formed- with as large as it was, that was troubling. We traveled alongside it for a while since Schnella said that was the way we needed to go. After a while, we heard dretches, and saw about fifty of them coming out of a tunnel on the other side of the chasm, chasing a lone dwarf. She got to the chasm and jumped- Momma tried to use her dimensional spell, but the dwarf jumped before she could cast it; instead the spell beheaded a dretch that had started to go through the door. Several more of the dretches lemminged off the cliff.

       Something metallic flew up from the dwarf, and hit the ceiling, it seemed to be some sort of portable grapple, because she was now swinging toward us. The dwarf's name was Falkryn, and she was separated from her group. Since we were trying to get to Gauntlgrym to reach the surface, she said she'd tag along for a while.

       Eventually we were able to find a cavern that was big enough for us to put up the Tower. I'm sure those who were in it were relieved to be able to get out and move around. Falkryn said if we gave her a day, she could figure out where we were.

       All night we could hear dretches, but none approached us.

***** Uktar 30, Deep Roads

       Falkryn said she was pretty sure where we needed to go to get to Gauntlgrym, the problem was we needed to go down a fifteen foot cliff to get to the tunnel we needed. Getting there and then down the cliff took most of the day, but eventually we found whatever it was Falkryn had been looking for.

***** The Feast of the Moon Holiday, Deep Roads

       Astrid found the remnants of an ancient doorway or gate that we needed to go through. It was a tight squeeze, and Flimflam had to shrink Rosebud to get him through the door. When we had finally all squeezed though the door, we found ourselves in an ancient dwarven fort that looked fairly intact. The room appeared to be a foyer, since there was another set of doors in front of us, and there were signs that it had been opened recently.

       Falkryn used that knock spell to open the door, but used an ancient form of dwarven- that we only recognized because of Momma's spell. On the other side of these doors was a set of dusty stairs that went down into darkness. The room at the bottom of the stairs appeared to have been a storage room at one time, and even though it was clear that the door above us had been opened recently, Schnella and Twyla couldn't find any tracks. Falkryn began to search for a secret door, and found it within a couple of minutes- she's really good at this. Behind this secret door was a dark tunnel.

       The tunnel ended at a large room with some sort of odd dais in it. On the dais was a huge circular gate-looking thing that was ringed with runes, but three of them were missing. Schnella had found one of them up above in the fortress, and we began to search around for the other two. It was very dark in here, and I offered to light up the cavern with my Driftglobe, but the others said it wasn't necessary. Suddenly a globe of darkness appeared, and a figure in very heavy armor emerged from it.

       An angry voice rang out, "took you long enough, lay down your weapons and surrender now." We were surrounded by drow. The figure was Zenit, which the party didn't know, since no one was left that had known her. Kazul tried to sneak around to flank one of the drow but was spotted instantly. Of course we would never surrender that easily, but a crossbow bolt flew out and dropped poor Niles; it was likely drow poison though, so he wasn't dead, just asleep. A cloud appeared over the gate, causing Lith, Mithrilye, and Twyla to fall unconscious. Rosebud summoned his gargoyles to aid us.

       Schnella was the next to fall from a crossbow bolt. As each attack hit, a globe of darkness dropped. A command rang out to drop our weapons, and that seemed like a good idea. I began to unchain my Rod from my wrist. Seluna activated her Driftglobe, and we were bathed in moonlight; her globe dispelled the rest of the darkness, and we saw exactly how many drow were surrounding us. This was not good.

       Not-Kazul began pounding on the drow nearest her, while Momma dropped a Hut over our unconscious friends. Rosebud was hit with some sort of spell that made him look very uncomfortable, and one of his elementals woke Mithrilye up and got her out of the cloud. The other elementals followed suit and began waking up our fallen friends. An odd looking shadow mouse (Orvald) picked up Rosebud's discarded hammer and began hitting him with it, while a drow came at him too. Geophry jumped off of Rosebud's back, and somehow managed to wrestle Rosebud's hammer away from it, then he fell over. It was odd to watch.

       I threw my Rod out of the Hut, up on one of the ledges above us, right before it was dispelled. Spiders began to crawl all over the place, slowly covering the floor and walls with their disgusting little bodies. Astrid used some sort of flame spell, targeting one of the driders; instead it hit Lith and she fell. Mithrilye grabbed the arm of one of the drow and convinced him to attack the quaggoth that was looming over her; she's damn good at that.

       Astrid was the next  to fall, and as she did the drow who seemed to be in charge called for our surrender again. Mithrilye telepathically told Lily to activate the gate; she then told Rosebud to feign surrendering. Mithrilye randomly said "now," then seemed to teleport across the room- reappearing as a succubus... that explains a lot. She cut herself and told Momma to use her blood to activate the portal. As the portal began to open, Kazul quickly jumped up to where Claire had thrown her Rod and grabbed it for her. 

       The portal opened and Graz'zt himself stepped out; using the blood of his daughter brought him there. 

       We barely escaped the drow, but Schnella, Falkryn, and Twyla were unconscious and got left behind. The landscape of our destination was disturbing, there was a throne with webs behind it, and a shadowy figure in the webs. Momma announced we were in the Abyss, in Azzagrat, the home of the Demon Lord Graz'zt. Kazul handed me my Rod and bent over to check on Mithrilye, who was unconscious and bleeding profusely. Suddenly we felt disoriented as Astrid said "I wish myself, Astrid Rockham, Claire Thundersword, Rosebud, Lily, Flimflam, and Geophry Petunia, Seluna, Niles, Twyla, Lith, Mithrilye, Kazul, Schnella, Falkryn, George, and Fred are all safely standing before the front gates of Gauntlgrym."

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast