Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Six

The Deep Roads

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud, Geophry, and Flimflam's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Astrid Rockham, the Longstrider Shifter Evocation Wizard
Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Familiar
Kazul, the Copper  Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget was restored to life by her god

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds and thinks everyone should be gluttonous
Arwenel, the Elf Scholar
Falkryn Stonekey, the Shield Dwarf Ruin Raider
Schnella Stonesneak, the Deep Gnome Deep Delver

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her- stayed in Blingdenstone
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone
Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone

Friendly Fire: 216
Party members killed: 24
Overall party members lost: 36

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Uktar 26, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Deep Roads

       When we stopped to camp tonight, Geophry pulled out a deck of cards that he said was a Deck of Many Things. I've heard of these, they're very rare. He offered us each a draw from the deck. Lily drew first, pulling out the Throne and the Rogue; which I don't know what either of those mean, but he seemed pleased about the Throne card. Rosebud drew next, he only took one card, and got the Flames. I went next, and drew the Ruin card and all of my money turned to dust, then I drew the Skull card and an avatar of death appeared before me. I had to fight the damned thing, and I barely beat it; after drawing it Lily adopted me into the Petunia clan. Flimflam was next to draw, and he got the Euryale- which made him shudder- and the Key, which caused a magical staff to appear in his hands. The odd platinum dragonborn drew next, taking two cards; she drew the Sun, causing an Iron Flask to appear in her hands, and the Void, which made her keel over.

       We didn't know really anything about this quiet dragonborn, but someone said her name was Kazul; that must be a common name for dragonborn. Lily used a spell that gives him information on things and people, asking me to tell him about my Kazul, so I did, even though it was impossible for that one to be the same. Somehow though, Lily's spell came back saying that it was my Kazul, but that doesn't make sense, how could it possibly be her? I stared at Lily, stunned and trying to process this information, when a cry of surprise was made by Rosebud behind us.

       While Lily had been working on that spell, Geophry had picked up the iron flask Kazul had been holding, but since he doesn't have hands he convinced Rosebud to open it for him. A nalfeshnee demon came out of the flask, and turned to look at the halftaur who had just released it. 

       Some hideous demon thing was staring at Rosebud, and it told him to say its name; to which Rosebud said "my name." The demon pressed, and Rosebud apparently said its name on accident, causing him to lose control of the demon- who promptly turned to attack us. It scared me, and I began to run away from it, as did Mithrilye and Geophry.

       The nalfeshnee turned to Rosebud and bit him, hurting the barbarian badly. Lily summoned his Hand, and accidentally hit Rosebud with it instead of the demon- the halftaur was very badly injured now. Rosebud grabbed the horn he'd gotten in Blingdenstone that summons gargoyles to fight for him, using them as a distraction so he could take a couple potions before the nalfeshnee got anymore blows in.

       Astrid Rockham had escaped the drow who had taken her and her crew prisoner, and had been lost for what felt like days in the tunnels of the Underdark. She heard the sounds of combat coming from the chamber up ahead and began moving toward them. Then she slipped and fell, tumbling head over heel, and landing in a chamber where an odd group of adventurers was fighting a nalfeshnee.

       Lily and Flimflam were  both hit with the demon's fear, and turned to run, leaving Rosebud mostly alone to deal with it. His elementals did some damage to it, but really it hurt the elementals more than they hurt it. Rosebud noticed the nalfeshnee was covered in piercings, and he grabbed a ruby nipple ring and ripped it out- the demon collapsed from the pain, allowing the gargoyles to rip into it. Astrid sent some magic missiles at it, and with that the demon flew up and away- getting a few more lashes from the gargoyles- and said it would be back, as it ran away.

       Rosebud presented a ruby nipple ring to Lily when we had all gotten our wits about us. Lily said it was a phylactery of some kind, and turned to Astrid- the wizard who had stumbled upon us- to draw a circle so he could identify it.

       I recognized Astrid from Cormyr, when I'd arrested her for piracy early in my career. She had escaped from me, by using that mist spell that Flimflam uses to get away from things. It was good to see a familiar face down here, even if it was someone I had arrested.

       Lily said the soul in the ruby was humanoid, and his lore spell told him the soul had entered the ruby very recently. He had Rosebud put the fake Kazul's body in the circle, and then smashed the ruby to release the soul. Rosebud smashed the stone and a boom reverberated throughout the cavern; I felt more than heard it. Ruby dust went everywhere, the circle was trashed, and the soul returned to the body. I cannot believe that this is Kazul, if it was my cherie she would have said something to me before we left Blingdenstone. She needs to stay away from me.

       Before we retired for the night, Geophry offered Astrid a draw from the Deck of Many Things, which she accepted. She drew the Moon card, and Momma said that gave her one wish.

***** Uktar 27, Deep Roads

       When we set up camp for the night, the impostor Kazul approached me, she wanted to know why I wanted nothing to do with her. She also recognized the holy symbol and prayer book that I had taken as tokens to remember my cherie by. So she recognized a couple of small things, but cannot remember the friend who stood by her for months. I tossed the book at her, kept the holy symbol, and told her to stay away from me. I want nothing to do with this impostor. The rage that filled me was somewhat overwhelming, and I was surprised that I did not attack her- I really wanted to.

       I learned that Astrid can turn any liquid into alcohol. She's amazing, I think we'll become good friends.

***** Uktar 28, Deep Roads

       We found what Momma said was an ancient dwarven way marker, but none of us could read it. Momma even tried using my Belt of Dwarvenkind as a focus, and he still couldn't get anything. Even though we couldn't read it, we figured it would be best to just follow the marker; it was most likely to take us where we wanted to go.

       Schnella stopped us at a chasm, she said it was newly formed- with as large as it was, that was troubling. We traveled alongside it for a while since Schnella said that was the way we needed to go. After a while, we heard dretches, and saw about fifty of them coming out of a tunnel on the other side of the chasm, chasing a lone dwarf. She got to the chasm and jumped- Momma tried to use her dimensional spell, but the dwarf jumped before she could cast it; instead the spell beheaded a dretch that had started to go through the door. Several more of the dretches lemminged off the cliff.

       Something metallic flew up from the dwarf, and hit the ceiling, it seemed to be some sort of portable grapple, because she was now swinging toward us. The dwarf's name was Falkryn, and she was separated from her group. Since we were trying to get to Gauntlgrym to reach the surface, she said she'd tag along for a while.

       Eventually we were able to find a cavern that was big enough for us to put up the Tower. I'm sure those who were in it were relieved to be able to get out and move around. Falkryn said if we gave her a day, she could figure out where we were.

       All night we could hear dretches, but none approached us.

***** Uktar 30, Deep Roads

       Falkryn said she was pretty sure where we needed to go to get to Gauntlgrym, the problem was we needed to go down a fifteen foot cliff to get to the tunnel we needed. Getting there and then down the cliff took most of the day, but eventually we found whatever it was Falkryn had been looking for.

***** The Feast of the Moon Holiday, Deep Roads

       Astrid found the remnants of an ancient doorway or gate that we needed to go through. It was a tight squeeze, and Flimflam had to shrink Rosebud to get him through the door. When we had finally all squeezed though the door, we found ourselves in an ancient dwarven fort that looked fairly intact. The room appeared to be a foyer, since there was another set of doors in front of us, and there were signs that it had been opened recently.

       Falkryn used that knock spell to open the door, but used an ancient form of dwarven- that we only recognized because of Momma's spell. On the other side of these doors was a set of dusty stairs that went down into darkness. The room at the bottom of the stairs appeared to have been a storage room at one time, and even though it was clear that the door above us had been opened recently, Schnella and Twyla couldn't find any tracks. Falkryn began to search for a secret door, and found it within a couple of minutes- she's really good at this. Behind this secret door was a dark tunnel.

       The tunnel ended at a large room with some sort of odd dais in it. On the dais was a huge circular gate-looking thing that was ringed with runes, but three of them were missing. Schnella had found one of them up above in the fortress, and we began to search around for the other two. It was very dark in here, and I offered to light up the cavern with my Driftglobe, but the others said it wasn't necessary. Suddenly a globe of darkness appeared, and a figure in very heavy armor emerged from it.

       An angry voice rang out, "took you long enough, lay down your weapons and surrender now." We were surrounded by drow. The figure was Zenit, which the party didn't know, since no one was left that had known her. Kazul tried to sneak around to flank one of the drow but was spotted instantly. Of course we would never surrender that easily, but a crossbow bolt flew out and dropped poor Niles; it was likely drow poison though, so he wasn't dead, just asleep. A cloud appeared over the gate, causing Lith, Mithrilye, and Twyla to fall unconscious. Rosebud summoned his gargoyles to aid us.

       Schnella was the next to fall from a crossbow bolt. As each attack hit, a globe of darkness dropped. A command rang out to drop our weapons, and that seemed like a good idea. I began to unchain my Rod from my wrist. Seluna activated her Driftglobe, and we were bathed in moonlight; her globe dispelled the rest of the darkness, and we saw exactly how many drow were surrounding us. This was not good.

       Not-Kazul began pounding on the drow nearest her, while Momma dropped a Hut over our unconscious friends. Rosebud was hit with some sort of spell that made him look very uncomfortable, and one of his elementals woke Mithrilye up and got her out of the cloud. The other elementals followed suit and began waking up our fallen friends. An odd looking shadow mouse (Orvald) picked up Rosebud's discarded hammer and began hitting him with it, while a drow came at him too. Geophry jumped off of Rosebud's back, and somehow managed to wrestle Rosebud's hammer away from it, then he fell over. It was odd to watch.

       I threw my Rod out of the Hut, up on one of the ledges above us, right before it was dispelled. Spiders began to crawl all over the place, slowly covering the floor and walls with their disgusting little bodies. Astrid used some sort of flame spell, targeting one of the driders; instead it hit Lith and she fell. Mithrilye grabbed the arm of one of the drow and convinced him to attack the quaggoth that was looming over her; she's damn good at that.

       Astrid was the next  to fall, and as she did the drow who seemed to be in charge called for our surrender again. Mithrilye telepathically told Lily to activate the gate; she then told Rosebud to feign surrendering. Mithrilye randomly said "now," then seemed to teleport across the room- reappearing as a succubus... that explains a lot. She cut herself and told Momma to use her blood to activate the portal. As the portal began to open, Kazul quickly jumped up to where Claire had thrown her Rod and grabbed it for her. 

       The portal opened and Graz'zt himself stepped out; using the blood of his daughter brought him there. 

       We barely escaped the drow, but Schnella, Falkryn, and Twyla were unconscious and got left behind. The landscape of our destination was disturbing, there was a throne with webs behind it, and a shadowy figure in the webs. Momma announced we were in the Abyss, in Azzagrat, the home of the Demon Lord Graz'zt. Kazul handed me my Rod and bent over to check on Mithrilye, who was unconscious and bleeding profusely. Suddenly we felt disoriented as Astrid said "I wish myself, Astrid Rockham, Claire Thundersword, Rosebud, Lily, Flimflam, and Geophry Petunia, Seluna, Niles, Twyla, Lith, Mithrilye, Kazul, Schnella, Falkryn, George, and Fred are all safely standing before the front gates of Gauntlgrym."

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Five

The Battle of Blingdenstone Part Two: 
The Pudding King

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud and Geophry's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil
Barkbeak, Vadania's Hippogriff Steed
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Stool, the Myconid Child was raised from the grave by Mezzem
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild- grick kibble

Friendly Fire: 214

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Uktar 5, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Blingdenstone

       Before we could pursue the invisible red, we got a call from our artillery support that a group of them were cut off from the Diggermattocks and were in desperate need of healing. Mezzem decided to go help them, leaving us without a healer.

       Lily had also heard the call for a healer, and he grabbed Geophry- who he had seen lurking in the background of the fight- and told the chair to take him to that group. By the time the bard had reached the group needing help, Mezzem was already there, so Lily decided to head over to the main party, since their healer had randomly abandoned them.

       Flimflam was in the middle of freezing the slimy path that the Pudding King had taken when he fled, when Lily and Geophry flew in. It was a relief to see them, since we were not happy Mezzem had randomly decided to leave us. Rosebud offered Flimflam some of his blood to help speed up the process, and when he did the lad fell asleep, flashed with colored light, and was outlined in faerie fire; then a draconic roar echoed around the cavern as the floor became covered in ice. Apparently blood is a very good way to empower a spell.

       Before we could advance too far, Flimflam exclaimed in pain, he had been hit with another mental attack- those were getting really annoying. I want to say war was simpler in Cormyr, but I know that's just me hating this battle and missing my home; you know you've grown homesick when you even miss the wars you were part of. I shook those thoughts aside before my homesickness overtook my ability to fight. I would not let my melancholy be the reason that my friends died.

       The room we were walking into "Phosphorescent lichen illuminated this cave. the floor of which was covered with pools of green slime. More green slime clung to the ceiling and formed hideous drapes along the walls. In the middle of the cave, facing east, was a slime covered throne."* Based on the throne this seemed to be the Pudding King's base of operations.

       Lily had Geophry wake his brother, and Rosebud got right up and grew much larger; then slime landed on him. I shot at the throne in this frozen room, thinking there might be something hiding back there, but nothing happened; I barely dodged a slime falling off the ceiling of the cavern. Suddenly a crown of crystallized, spiky slime appeared around Rosebud's forehead, as if the ball that had just landed on him solidified into the crown. That was not going to be good for us.

       Flimflam used his ice breath at the throne and we saw "The Pudding King cowered behind his slime covered throne and chortled in his joy. 'Callooh! Callay! Now you can join the party!' he cackled. 'You can be one with the Faceless Lord. Just let yourselves be eaten and disgorged!'"* Yeah, cause that sounds fucking pleasant. Vadania's hand went to her forehead in pain from a mental attack, and Lily told Geophry to fly him to the throne; the King was indeed hiding back there, and now we could end this. I hope.

       Vadania and I ran over to the throne to help Lily deal with the King, but for some reason I could not see him back there. Then Lily summoned his Hand- I shuddered- and picked up the King. Rosebud whacked Flimflam and chucked his hammer at me- that fucking hurt! The stupid crown thing must be fucking with his mind, we had to get it off of him somehow. In Lily's Hand the Pudding King screamed and blood began flowing from between the fingers... the blood turned into ooze that then enveloped the Hand- it was like looking at a pudding that was made of flesh and blood- really gross.

       Lily called to us that we couldn't use fire, cold, or acid against the King, and that our weapons would do little damage. So I was going to be kind of useless in this battle apparently. Geophry pointed out to us the pudding that had been hitting us with mental attacks, and it looked like multiple different types of puddings had merged to form that one. Vadania called a beam of moonlight down on the King, and he became a gnome again, who was clinging to one of the fingers on Lily's Hand. I shot my crossbow at it and missed horribly, and Lily punched the ground with the King still gripping the finger- I pushed away the memories of the Living Dungeon at the sight of that. A shield flared before impact though, the King had cast something to prevent the punch from hurting him- so Lily yelled out that "I've shit better oozes than you!" Eew.

       The King managed to get off of the Hand, and the moment he was out of Vadania's light he turned back into an ooze. He spewed acid at everyone, missing only Lily, Geophry, and Vadania, destroying Lily's Hand, dropping Flimflam, and then he engulfed our elemental. Geophry turned immediately to help his friend, and Lily jumped off of the chair as soon as he was close enough. Vadania's beam moved back onto the King, and he became a gnome again- still gripping our elemental; this was going to be annoying- more so than everything already was.

       I stabbed the King, but it didn't seem to do anything to him, Lily insulted him to no avail, and our poor elemental just could not break out of its grasp. The Pudding King teleported and began to run away, calling to the invisible psychic ooze to devour us. Green bolts came flying from the ooze, slamming into the elemental and I, and then it held its head in pain- the ooze must have hit it with a mental attack.

       The combination of the acid and the mental attacks were too much for our poor elemental; it died. Flimflam attempted to use his blood to do something magical- the arcane words I heard sounded like his lightning bolt- but he dropped unconscious instead of casting anything. Geophry went to revive Flimflam, and announced to us that Lily was trapped in a cube. I hurried to catch up to help him.

       Lily went after the Pudding King, but there was a gelatinous cube blocking his path- that he didn't see until he had run into it. Rosebud followed, and thought at first that Lily was just playing around, the halftaur didn't realize his mother was trapped in the cube. The ooze hit Rosebud with a blight spell, but that wasn't enough to slow him down when his momma was in trouble. 

       I slammed my Rod at the cube, hoping to free Lily, and I think it worked, since a second later he broke out of the cube. Rosebud dealt it the killing blow for hurting his momma, and we hurriedly scraped some of the acid that was stuck to us off so it would quit hurting us. While we were doing that, I saw Geophry fly Flimflam up near the psychic ooze, and he let loose a lighting bolt at it... which then bounced right back at him. Chairy did an impressive maneuver to make the lightning hit him instead of Flimflam.

       The insane svirfneblin then used his blood to fuel a thunder spell, which hit me instead of the ooze. At that Flimflam declared that he was useless, and told Geophry to drop him off and pick up Lily instead. Something in Flimflam snapped and for the next few minutes he was convinced that he was an ooze. My head screamed in pain as I was hit with another mental attack, and I was dimly aware of Chairy dive bombing Rosebud and I to neutralize the acid on us. The mental pain struck me again, it felt like my head was about to explode.

       Flimflam then decided to use blood magic to usurp control of the oozes from the Pudding King, which backfired in a few ways. First he turned into a hobgoblin, then a tree appeared and scorpions came flowing out of it, which all began attacking Flimflam, and then he was polymorphed into a pearlescent ooze. 

       I saw a new ooze in the room, a pearlescent one, and went for it, since I couldn't reach the damn psychic one anyway. Of course it responded to my attack, and left some weird goop on me- different than other oozes we've encountered. Vadania joined my assault of this ooze, and together we killed it... only to have it turn into a bleeding and unconscious Flimflam. Shit. Why the Hells did he think turning into an ooze was a good fucking idea right now?

       The fucking scorpions swarmed toward me now that their prey had died, so I pulled out an item I've been carrying for a long time now, and turned one of them into a giant scorpion that was under my control. Vadania revived Flimflam and I tossed him over my shoulder so we could catch up to the group. For some reason Vadania decided she needed to chop down the scorpion tree before following.

       Lily had Geophry fly him up to the psychic ooze and began stabbing it. The ooze responded by completely engulfing the bard, but he broke out of its hold quickly enough. Rosebud began beating on the ooze in retaliation. 

       I rounded the corner just in time to see Lily shove a bag of gunpowder and ball bearings into the ooze and ignite it. He couldn't get his hand away in time, and we were showered in ooze goo. None of us, including Lily, were hurt by the explosion though. Once Vadania had finished chopping down the tree, we continued on the path the Pudding King had taken.

       The chamber we entered was fairly large, with a sea of oozes being attacked by our troops, water pouring from one tunnel, and a group of gnomes attacking a large ooze. We realized that not all of the svirfneblin were actually attacking the ooze though, some of them appeared to be dead, two were fighting each other, and one was spinning uselessly in a circle. There was an odd babbling noise coming from the ooze, and it had a bunch of mouths; Lily said it was a gibbering mouther.

       Rosebud charged straight in toward the mouther, and Flimflam wriggled out of my grasp, going instead to the sea of oozes, slinging his ice spells at them. Vadania and I began running for the mouther, and commanded my scorpion to do the same, while Lily and Geophry flew toward it. Lily dropped his Hand on top of it, trying to mash it into the ground- I barely suppressed a shudder at the memory.

       As Rosebud slammed into it with his spear, I noticed that the bodies seemed to be sinking into the ground, which had to be a trick of the eye, since it wasn't really a place where they should be able to do so. Lily's Hand punched the mouther- shiver- and he tossed an insult at it, while I kept running. Rosebud suddenly froze in his tracks, as if something were preventing him from moving. Close contact with the mouther made Rosebud temporarily insane, and he literally could not do anything. 

       I saw the mouther shoot something at Rosebud, and lean in to bite him. It had spat acid at him, blinding him, but it missed with its bite attack. At that I shot my crossbow at the mouther, and had my scorpion claw at it. Lily's Hand came down hard on the thing, and it seemed to die; then a cloud of toxic spores came bursting out of the mouther, killing my poor scorpion.

       The only way the Pudding King could have gone was through the tunnel the water was coming from, but there was too much water for us to just cross it, so Lily used his Hand to start digging a trench to divert some of the water. Lily and Flimflam combined their power, and their blood, in an attempt to freeze the water, but it wasn't frozen enough for us to get through yet. It did make an illusion of a tarrasque appear, which distracted the oozes from us for a moment. We were getting pinned between that toxic cloud, the water, and the sea of oozes; we had to find a way through now or we may not survive this. We could hear more oozes coming from the way we had just came from too, so doubling back wasn't even an option.

       At that moment, Lily announced that the ooze wasn't dead, it was the Pudding King, and he was using the cloud to keep us away so he could heal. He grabbed Rosebud and used their dimensional portal to get back to the King. Chairy and Flimflam flew back toward it, once again leaving Vadania and I to run.

       Lily hurled a fire spell at the mouther, and Rosebud moved its body, revealing the Pudding King who had been hiding underneath it; he had indeed been eating the gnome corpses to heal himself. When Flimflam got there he dispelled the cloud kill to allow the rest of the group to get to them.

       I saw Lily drawing some runes around the Pudding King for Flimflam to use, as Vadania got to it; I was still a little further behind her. The flesh of the ooze began to bubble up as a green beam came out of it, aimed for Flimflam- but Vadania was in the way. My friend was reduced to a pile of ash. Seeing that, Rosebud sliced his leg, offering Flimflam fresh blood and told him to get the spell done and finish this. Flimflam threw two lightning bolts at the King, and it began to grow...

       Then a chunk of the wall behind it exploded, and the debris that slammed into it seemed to finish the ooze off. A large gelatinous cube appeared, and we could hear shots in the tunnel behind it, as 150 kobolds came pouring out of the tunnel. Platinum rays of light came from the cube as it sucked itself up into a suit of full plate armor that had been inside of it. The oozes fled from the cube, as it pursued them mercilessly. This had to be Glabbagool and the kobolds of Bahamutsville! We had won! Blingdenstone was saved!

***** Blingdenstone

       We spent the next couple of tendays cleaning up the remaining oozes, and reclaiming parts of the city. The myconids and kobolds settled into their new home quickly.

       In addition to losing Vadania, we lost Galothel, Umund, Elyn, and Glyphic; along with about 20% of our fighting forces. Medic and Dorbo were permanently disfigured by the oozes, and Dwarvenforge lost an arm- though that didn't seem to bother him, he said he could still smith one handed. He's probably going to make himself another arm like he did for me.

       True to their word, the Diggermattocks gave us a map to the surface, but the only way they knew of that would for sure take us there would put us somewhere in the High Forest. Instead of potentially spending month lost there, we chose to take the Deep Roads, which was a less scouted route, that they believed would take us to Gauntlgrym. The ancient dwarven city was near enough to Neverwinter that I could easily buy a portal home from there. We were given a guide named Schnella, who we were told was almost as good as Roswyn had been.

       Lily adopted Flimflam after the fight, his antics had shown that he belonged in the Petunia family. Rosebud finished crafting the repeating crossbow that Fidget had been working on before he died, and gave it to me so I'd have a better ranged weapon.

       On the 26 of Uktar we said goodbye to Mezzem, Thecker, the twins, Glabbagool, the kobolds, and our other friends in the city and set out on our journey to the surface. The group was now myself, Lily, Rosebud, Flimflam, Seluna, Niles, Twyla, Lith, Mithrilye, Amin, Arwenel, and a platinum dragonborn who was with Kibbik; he said it would be good for her to go with us.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Four

The Battle of Blingdenstone Part One: Wading Through Oozes and Muck

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe, Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud and Geophry's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil
Barkbeak, Vadania's Hippogriff Steed
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds
Smoothpalm, the Deep Gnome Monk of Smoothhands
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Stool, the Myconid Child was raised from the grave by Mezzem
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild- grick kibble

Friendly Fire: 207
Party members killed: 23
Overall party members lost: 30

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Marpenoth 25, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Blingdenstone

       After we got settled back in at Blingdenstone, we met with the Goldwhiskers, Diggermattocks, the Miner's Guild, the Stoneheart Enclave, the Burrow Wardens, and the ghosts to find out what had happened in our absence and to come up with a plan of attack. We would need a tenday to get everything together,

       We were told that the ooze attacks had escalated, they were attacking more often, and as a result the svirfneblin had to collapse two tunnels to keep them out. We would have access to one greater earth elemental from the Stoneheart Enclave, and ranged artillery support; the ghosts would be attacking from above and below.

       The majority of the Goldwhiskers and Diggermattocks would be on the front lines, keeping the oozes distracted so we could find the king. In addition to those factions, Amin, Galothel, Lith, Mithrilye, Lily, Medic, and Terrik would be part of the frontal assault.

       Flimflam, Rosebud, Vadania, Mezzem, and I would be taking a greater elemental and doing the infiltration, hopefully reaching and killing the Pudding King. We also made two small surgical strike teams that could be merged into a second infiltration team if we failed. The first would be Topsy, Thecker, and Seluna along with twelve Goldwhiskers; the second would have Turvy, Smoothpalm, Twyla, Niles, and twelve more Goldwhiskers. I hoped we wouldn't need to use the second strike team. We were not bringing Geophry with us, we didn't want to put the chair in harm's way.

       Once we had figured out on the maps where exactly everyone would be going, we all settled in to prepare for this fight.

***** Uktar 5, Blingdenstone

       Today we fight the Pudding King and hopefully save Blingdenstone. I had polished my armor, and said a quick pre-battle prayer to Torm. The letter to my mother was rewritten to tell her that if she was reading that I had died trying to save Blingdenstone. I hoped no one would need to send it. I made sure the others knew where it was, to make sure it would get to her. I also asked Mezzem to look after Riddle if I died. It was time for me to fight in another war against a seemingly endless army to save a good city from falling. I felt like it was the year of the Nether Mountain Scrolls all over again, when I was in the war against the Sembia and the Shadovar.

       We began our journey through the winding tunnel, hoping it was a backdoor that would bring us to the Pudding King faster. Rosebud and Mezzem were kind of scouting ahead, but not too far- we couldn't afford to lose sight of them. Rosebud came upon a puddle and splashed his maul into it, it splashed slime back at him. Turns out it wasn't an ooze, just a puddle of goo. Flimflam polymorphed him into an air elemental to get rid of the slime, which resulted in a bunch of slime balls whirling in the air around Mezzem. Rosebud tried to throw a slime ball at Flimflam and missed horribly.

       A little bit later we ran into a white pudding that pummeled Flimflam and he got stuck; I hate those ones. Then a black spiny one dropped down next to Mezzem, and two more whites dropped down, one grabbing Vadania and the other failing to grab Rosebud; a gray one followed them and took a swipe at our elemental. Mezzem and Rosebud each took a swipe at the spiny one, and it literally exploded in fire, hitting all of us. Vadania managed to break free of the white that was holding her, but poor Flimflam went down, and fell in the white on him even further.

       Rosebud hit one with his maul and it split, bludgeoning doesn't usually split them- he still killed both halves though. I decided to try a slashing blade on the next one, thinking since bludgeoning split one maybe slashing wouldn't, and that didn't work- it split, and then split again on the second swipe of my blade. Rosebud went for the one that had swallowed Flimflam, and though he hit it, he got stuck by it; Mezzem went for that one too, and she tried to move it to see Flimflam so she could heal him- which didn't work.

       Our elemental made short work of the gray that was on it, while I finished off the split pieces on me. Rosebud and Vadania kept working at the ooze that had swallowed Flimflam, before Mezzem decided to take a huge risk and reach into the ooze to attempt to revive the svirfneblin. We couldn't tell if it worked, but Mezzem's arm was now stuck in the fucking thing. I hate oozes. Flimflam was revived, but the horror of coming to inside an ooze broke his fragile mind, and he is now a hoarder.

       Vadania pulled Mezzem out of it, and just in time- Flimflam dropped a fireball on himself inside of it, the ooze was gone, and Flimflam was lying unconscious on the ground with his hands glowing brilliant colors. The explosion killed poor Barkbeak again- that insane gnome was really good at killing that hippogriff.

       A little while later we came across a huge puddle of slime that we couldn't get around, so Flimflam decided to freeze it. He began using the spell that makes a beam of frost come from his hands, but got annoyed with how long it was taking, and ended up using his dragon ice breath, which covered the entire tunnel in ice- and he suddenly seemed a little thinner.

       Shortly after that Rosebud rounded a corner, and saw what he described as "a shiny... magical... lump of death!" and charged forward, straight into a gelatinous cube. As we came up behind him a white ball came bouncing in, smacking Vadania and bouncing off of her into Mezzem. If it wasn't war, this would have been rather amusing to watch.

       Rosebud had broken free of the cube, and was now being attacked by three crystal-looking things. Flimflam used the spell that shoots a beam of frost out of his palm on the bouncy ball, and it seemed to shudder on impact. Mezzem whacked the ball with her sword, only to have it bounce back and hit her... I couldn't suppress a chuckle at that, it was just too funny watching her sword rebound right into her. Her rebounded hit seemed to kill that ball though, so we could turn our attention to the cube and crystals attacking Rosebud.

      Vadania and I went for the cube, and took it out in only a couple of hits. The metallic lump of death came up and began attacking Rosebud in the meantime- these oozes didn't seem to like the halftaur. He of course retaliated, but his maul barely seemed to chip one of the crystals. Flimflam used a lightning spell on one of the crystals- it exploded and paralyzed him. He's good at accidentally hurting himself while killing an enemy. Lucky for him Vadania fixed him before an ooze got to him.

        Both the elemental and I seemed to be barely able to touch the fucking crystals, and the elemental randomly burrowed into the ground after its attack. Flimflam unleashed a lightning bolt at all of them, killing all but one crystal and the metallic. Mezzem sent her pillar of radiance at the crystal, but it didn't drop- instead it paralyzed Rosebud.

       Vadania and I finished off the metallic, and Flimflam used more lightning on the remaining crystal. The elemental popped up too late to do anything. We gathered ourselves and continued our search for the King.

       We came up on another huge puddle of slime we couldn't get around. Mezzem tried to use the spell that cleans things, but it didn't do anything, so Flimflam froze the slime again. After we crossed the frozen tunnel, we saw the Pudding King. "The insane, slime-covered deep gnome pointed at us and cackled, 'Devour them, my precious children! Make your father proud!' He then bolted."*

       Rosebud fired an arrow in a direction where he thought one of them was, and we saw a metallic shimmer where the arrow landed. He then began to shake as if he was being attacked, but none of us could see anything great now we have invisible oozes. In his head, Rosebud heard a voice say "what's soft and gooey and red all over? You in about two seconds." He was being attacked by invisible tendrils. Flimflam blindly sent out a wave of thunder, and we saw a flash of light as the spell went off- we could briefly see the tentacles flailing about, but a second later they were gone. Flimflam could now hear mad giggling in his head.

       Rosebud was hit with a psychic attack so nasty his brain hurt- then the metallic slammed into Rosebud and spat at him, the spit sticking to him somehow. I shot at the wall where Rosebud had just shot, and in response tentacles whipped out, hitting both Flimflam and I. Mezzem did something to illuminate one of the oozes, and Flimflam froze the area; we could see a red metallic, that just missed me with spit.

       I chucked my javelin at the red, and followed up with my crossbow- it spat at me again. I fucking hate oozes. Our elemental walked up the wall toward it and slammed into the thing, I think it hurt the ooze but it's hard to tell against something like that. Flimflam shot fire at that one, but that didn't seem to do anything to it at all.

       Rosebud and Mezzem went for the one with whips, which did not spit when it was hit. Horrible pain coursed through my brain as one of the oozes targeted me with something; I shot at the red again. The ooze with the whips dropped poor Flimflam, and as Vadania retaliated something happened and I was blinded. I wish I still had Dawnbringer, she could have cured the blindness.

       The elemental kept pounding away at the red ooze, and Mezzem revived Flimflam. Flimflam climbed on Rosebud's back and shot a lightning bolt at the red ooze. I got my sight back right before Flimflam used that misty step thing into the air, hurling a lightning bolt killing the whip and a red; we could see now there was more than one red.

       Now we had a new problem, the spit balls the red had been throwing at us were very acidic and stuck to us. I doused myself in water, but that did nothing to get the goo off of me. Our elemental seemed to be in even worse shape, it was covered in the spit balls and seemed to be very badly hurt. Thankfully Mezzem sent out a burst of healing at that moment; while it didn't get the spitballs off of us, it at least knit some of our injured flesh back together.

       Flimflam sent another bolt of lightning at the red, causing it to split into two- I hate that oozes fucking split. It felt like a hammer hit me upside the brain as another mental attack got me. The ooze started spitting at us again, but it only hit Flimflam this time. I worked to get one of the globs off of myself so it would quit trying to destroy my armor, the poor elemental peeled one of the globs off, and I saw Vadania toss a glob off to the side. Flimflam kept chucking lightning bolts at the red, getting hit with more and more of that horrible spit.

       I shot at it with my crossbow, but the headache it had given me must have distracted me, I missed my shot completely. Mezzem used her pillar of radiance on it, and it was dead; now there was only one red left. Throughout all of this Mezzem kept sending out healing bursts, which was the only reason we were able to keep going in this fight.

       We then had a few seconds where all of were missing this damned ooze, I don't know how, it was right there, but it eventually Rosebud shot the fucking thing. Rosebud and Mezzem finished that one off, while the rest of us frantically worked to get the goo off of us. When they had finished it off, Rosebud announced there was another one further down the tunnel. None of us could see it, but Flimflam was hit with a mental attack, which backed up Rosebud's thoughts on there being yet another one.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Three

Rehearsal Interrupted

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud and Geophry's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil
Barkbeak, Vadania's Hippogriff Steed

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who really likes killing things, thinks he has powerful enemies out to get him that are telling him what to do, he has a voice giving him directions in his head, and is enamored with every beautiful voice he hears, and periodically slips into a catatonic state, his mind is slipping and his intelligence is waxing and waning
Smoothpalm, the Deep Gnome Monk of Smoothhands
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Stool, the Myconid Child was raised from the grave by Mezzem
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild- grick kibble

Friendly Fire: 206
Party members killed: 23
Overall party members lost: 33

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Marpenoth 16, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Neverlight Grove

       Rosebud charged in, as Lily had ordered, and bashed one with his maul, splattering bits of fungus all over himself. I followed him and skewered another one with my spear, while he turned his maul onto two more, dropping them too.

       Vadania and Barkbeak flew in and dropped the biggest one, but they were hit with the spore cloud in the process. I hate the damn spore clouds. Mezzem sent her spiritual blade and a pillar of radiance at one of them, dropping it, while Lily summoned his Hand to grab and squeeze another one- I suppressed a shudder at the memory. The fungi began swarming us, badly injuring Barkbeak in their assault. Flimflam sent a ball of acid at a cluster of them- without hitting any of us! As he did, a puddle of grease appeared under Lith, Mezzem, and Mithrilye, and Flimflam seemed to get a little shorter; magic is fucking weird. His sphere killed all but one of the mushrooms he'd attacked.

       A group of the little guys stepped through a nearby mushroom and appeared in front of Vadania and I. Rosebud, Vadania, and I killed one each of the little ones, and hacked into the big myconid, with Vadania getting the killing blow. Mezzem dropped the last little one that was near me.

       Lily slammed his Hand- that was still squeezing the myconid in its grasp- into one of the big guys near Vadania; I shuddered at yet another unpleasant memory of that damn Hand. He then pulled out a wand, unleashed a volley of missiles at the big one, and then the wand exploded finishing it off. I don't think he meant to do that. There was only one big myconid left, and it slammed into Rosebud, seeming to hurt the halftaur a little; Flimflam and Geophry each unleashed bolts at it, finishing it off.

       The spore cloud Rosebud had been hit with earlier, by the larva, made it so he was no longer capable of taking anything seriously. The more serious a situation, the more hilarious it is to the halftaur.

       All that was left to do was dispose of the heads, and Rosebud thought it would be fun to smash them- except with his first swing he hit Vadania in the face with one... She was pissed, but it was so funny. Flimflam and Geophry decided to just blow them up instead, it was a much quicker way of dealing with this. I was a little surprised that none of the insane myconids had caught us up here yet.

       Once the heads were dealt with we headed to the creepy mushroom tower. "We had no clear reference to judge the towering mushroom's size at this distance. Thousands of smaller fungi cling to the mam stalk, which itself splits into several lesser stalks, each long enough with a cap big enough to be the top of a great tower. The cavern floor surrounding the stalk is covered by a carpet fungi.

       "An eerie luminescence pours through slitted windows carved into the trunk, with the same cacophony of atonal music heard earlier echoing within. A stench of rot and decay wrapped around us, seemingly threatening to penetrate my flesh and pervade my soul."*

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

       A huge ledge hugged the cavern wall behind it, and we could see writhing lumps within it. We quickly realized those lumps were people, and one of them opened, revealing a fungal drow who was screaming. As it locked its eyes on us, the screams were silenced, and its eyes rolled into the back of its head, as it sunk back into the ground.

       For the next few minutes, Rosebud was convinced Mezzem was his lucky charm, and he was suffering from vivid hallucinations. Flimflam's mind is now slipping, and his intelligence is waxing and waning. 

       Rosebud began freaking out, saying zombies were attacking- there were no fucking zombies. His freak out caused Flimflam to launch a bolt of flame at the tower. Lily cast something to calm everyone down, making Flimflam, Geophry, and Barkbeak lethargic. He summoned his Hand to scoop up Rosebud and Mezzem.

       We decided we needed to go tell Basidia what was happening up here, we would need help if we were to attempt to take this tower down.

       Basidia decided we needed to evacuate all of the sane myconids in the Grove, and the easiest way to do that was to load up all of them into our Tower and take them back to Blingdenstone with us. We kept a few out in one of our carts to help guide us back to the city. Mezzem told Turvy we were doing it, and he told us not to; of course she ignored him, since we didn't have any other options for these poor mushrooms.

       As we began to leave we noticed that Phylo had gathered a group near the Garden of Welcome, and they were moving toward us. We were going to just ignore them, since they move much slower than we do, but Lily decided to deal with it. He told us to just keep moving, and he'd catch up, then he used the spell that lets him go through dimensions to appear next to Phylo.

       Phylo told Lily that the Garden of Welcome had been burned, and asked if he knew who the vandal was. The bard told him that the party had gone up there to investigate the fire, but that they didn't see anyone up there. He told Phylo that he would help with the investigation if he wasn't called back to his college- then he teleported away and turned invisible.

       Rosebud completely flipped out when Lily vanished, but we managed to calm him, assuring him that the myconids didn't do anything to him, that it was all part of Lily's plan. With that taken care of we left Neverlight Grove, to return to Blingdenstone.

       Before we left Mezzem had used a spell to remove some of Flimflam's insanity, taking the GPS out of his head. She then left him in the Tower because his catatonic states and his mind slipping were liabilities to us.

       Several hours later we arrived at a freshwater stream that had six water orbs. Rosebud and Geophry decided to harvest them, both messed up one each, getting themselves drenched, but the chair managed to gather the rest of them with no issue.

***** Marpenoth 17, Underdark Wilds

       Without Roswyn to do our scouting, Rosebud and Niles decided to do it; though really it should have been Twyla since Roswyn taught her to be a scout.

       Rosebud and Niles came upon a carrion crawler and decided to take care of it on their own without telling the rest of the group. By the time the rest of the party caught up they had finished the beast off.

       Later the pair encountered a group of drow and quaggoths, and again decided to handle it without telling the group. They snuck up to the group, and dropped one each before the drow knew they were there. The quaggoths began to surround Rosebud after he dropped another drow. 

       We walked into a cavern to find Rosebud killing a quaggoth and a drow, and Niles shooting at them from the sidelines. Lily instantly began insulting the drow, while Mezzem and Smoothpalm moved up to finish off the remaining quaggoths.

***** Marpenoth 18, Underdark Wilds

       We finally found a place to set up the Tower and check on everyone today. Mezzem went to Flimflam to cure his madnesses, but he was pissed about having to spend all of yesterday in the Tower. He refused to let her help him, and took off running. Mezzem chased him around and out of the Tower, before she finally caught him and cured a large part of his madnesses, but not the catatonic state or the mind slipping... the two we actually needed him to be cured of. He elected to stay in the Tower the next day too.

***** Marpenoth 19, Underdark Wilds

       When we got the Tower set up tonight, Mithrilye charmed Flimflam into going to see Mezzem to get his madnesses cured; Flimflam was finally sane.

***** Marpenoth 20, Underdark Wilds

       We came upon a tunnel that had been filled completely with webs, and Flimflam shot a bolt of flame into it, destroying them webs. We heard some screams from up the tunnel before six fire beetles came running out of it at us- Rosebud killed them all in a single shot. The rest of our day was peaceful.

***** Marpenoth 24, Underdark Wilds

       We came upon some ruins of buildings that looked like they were better suited on the surface than out here. We began to search the area, and in the very first building we entered, there was evidence of a recent fire.

       Outside the building, Flimflam, Geophry, Niles, Twyla, and Smoothpalm heard a stone fall, right before a foghorn echoed through the cavern. A group of orcs appeared and began attacking, badly injuring Smoothpalm and killing Barkbeak.

       We heard what sounded like a foghorn being blown, echoing throughout the cavern, and rushed outside to find a badly injured Smoothpalm. Rosebud blew his horn and summoned a group of gargoyles to aid us in this fight. Most of the fucking orcs were attacking from the roof, wonderful.

       Flimflam launched a fireball at a group of them, dropping three in the process; then he was enveloped in darkness... his magic is so damned confusing. Vadania appeared on the roof behind one of them, slashing it with her battleaxe. One of the bastards dropped Smoothpalm as Lily summoned his Hand and punched one in the back. I slashed at one with my Rod, and saw Niles and Twyla shooting ones on the roof. The gargoyles Rosebud summoned converged on the orcs and began pummeling them.

       Flimflam, still wrapped in darkness, blindly shot a fireball at the roof Vadania was on... hitting her and killing the two orcs up there with her. Vadania dropped a beam that looked like moonlight on one of them, and I noticed Mezzem revive Smoothpalm before sending her radiant pillar at another. Lily and his Hand finished off another orc, as a bolt of acid came out of Flimflam's darkness- Geophry... he hit the ceiling of the cavern instead. Flimflam followed up with a bolt of fire, which completely missed everything. I'd had enough of that darkness, so I activated my Driftglobe to light up the roof. Geophry decided the globe needed to die and hit both it and I with a bolt of acid. My globe fell to the ground, it was off but not dead.

       One of the orcs began to run away from us, but Lily sent his Hand after it, it grabbed and pinned the orc. I hate that Hand. Vadania noticed a small cave in the cavern wall and pointed it out to all of us. Niles tried and failed to climb it, and Twyla showed off by succeeding at climbing it. I used the ladder function on my Rod to climb up there myself, and Geophry flew up with Flimflam- who then sent a lightning bolt into the cave, killing the two that were hiding up there, but missing Twyla and I.

       With everyone else dead, Lily released the Hand's grip on the orc, and demanded to know if there were more. Once he said we'd killed them all, he slit the orc's throat.

***** Marpenoth 25, Blingdenstone

       By the time we got back to Blingdenstone, Mezzem was convinced something horrible had happened to Turvy, because he hadn't been responding to her through the rings. The kobold ran straight for their house the moment we arrived, with Vadania on her heels. It turns out Topsy had stolen Turvy's ring and hidden it from him.

       Lily and I went to the Rockblight District to set up the Tower, since it was the only place in the city big enough for it. It was also the best place for the myconids to live until we cleared out the oozes near the refuse pile. Of course Rosebud had to set up Fort Awesome in the little garden above the waterfall, since there wasn't enough room for him to put it on top of the Tower.

       We had gathered everything needed to take on the Pudding King, or so we hoped. There was nothing left to do except strategize for the Battle of Blingdenstone.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Twenty-Five

Blingdenstone, the City of Speaking Stones Part 6:

A Home for All Deep Gnomes

Dramatis Personae:

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion
Osaw, Tali's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker; who sees magic where there is none
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud's "Momma"

Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins
Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who really likes killing things
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild
Medic Stonebandage, the Deep Gnome Priest of Smoothhands from the Stoneheart Enclave
Smoothpalm, the Deep Gnome Monk of Smoothhands
Terrik Stoneshot, the Deep Gnome Gunslinger from the Bounty Hunter's Guild
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Commoner
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Commoner

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Stool, the Myconid Child- unwilling dance partner to drunk stone giant

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin who can't sneak- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa

Quests in Blingdenstone:
Discover where the ooze infestation is coming from Found where the oozes were hiding thanks to Chipgrin's information
Parley with, or exterminate, the Goldwhiskers chose to parlay with them since most of the party are also wererats

Cleanse the Steadfast Stone, a temple that has been corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane

Kill medusa and bring Sark her head
tell Yanthal Coaxrock the location of Entemoch's Boon  told Nomi since Yanthal was absent
destroy Vazuk
recover Udhask's remains  gathered his remains, still need to lay Udhask to rest in the catacombs
Harvest samples of elementals corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane and return them to Nomi
Try to banish Ogremoch's Bane Banished
Lay Vort to rest 

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Eleint 9, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       When we arrived at the gates to the Rockblight district for the meeting between the Goldwhiskers and the Diggermattocks, we found the gates open with guards and elementals milling about, working on making the area livable again. We got to the Steadfast Stone early and while we waited for everyone, Rosebud ran around telling everyone the story of our cleansing of the temple- he's definitely the son of a bard.

       Thecker and I approached the Diggermattocks before the meeting about the oozes, recanting our view of the circular room of muck and the voice claiming that the Faceless One wasn't ready for guests yet. We explained what Lily had told us about Juiblex, the Demon Lord that the insane voice was referring to. When we were done, Senni said she would be more than willing to speak with an open mind, since this situation was certainly not one that the gnomes could face alone.

       Thecker went to speak to the twins and Greenpaw, who were the only wererats in attendance, but she shifted before approaching them. The anger that radiated off of Dorbo was audible. He is so full of hate, it makes me sad.

       The meeting began with the twins laying out the information about the Pudding King and his oozes that the Diggermattocks didn't know. This Pudding King was part of the Diggermattock's original expedition into Blingdenstone, and he vanished without a trace. Everyone had presumed him dead, until he began popping up randomly recently.

       Topsy said the wererats wanted to move into a secure part of the city until the Pudding King had been taken care of and they could reclaim the part they currently occupied. This was a time for them to put aside their differences, and realize that even though they're wererats, they're still svirfneblin, and the svirfneblin needed to work together. Senni agreed completely, but asked for assurances that the wererats wouldn't spread once they were integrated into the city. Seluna offered a solution to that fear, in making charms for the wererats that would allow them to stay sane during the full moon and even resist the change. I needed to ask her for one of those in private later- I'm not revealing that I'm a wererat if I can help it, I like the power but not the form.

       After much discussion they finally struck an agreement. Blingdenstone would be a home for all svirfneblin, wererat or not, and they would band together to defeat this ooze threat. We would reconvene in two days with ideas for how to take out the Pudding King. Dorbo was disgruntled, but we kind of expected that. This meeting went much smoother than anticipated.

***** Eleint 10-11

       We spent the next two days excavating Fidget's house, hoping the insane inventor had some tools or schematics for something that could help us. That place was a completely disaster area, and even after two days we felt that we had barely scratched the surface of that place.

***** Eleint 12

       This meeting held a much better atmosphere than the previous one did. Topsy and Senni were getting along, which was not really surprising, and Turvy and Dorbo were glaring at each other- also not surprising. Pretty much everyone we've interacted with in Blingdenstone was present at this meeting, and it ended up being very civil.

       The Diggermattocks said they would provide soldiers, as would the Goldwhiskers. Since we had eliminated Ogremoch's Bane, the Stoneheart Enclave could provide elementals to help in the battle. Kazook Pickshine said that he could concoct an oil that would protect our weapons and armor from the oozes, but he'd need a large quantity of supplies from Neverlight Grove. It was also determined that we needed more arms and armor, so we would escort a caravan to Gracklstugh to trade salt for their weapons.

       We would leave in two days time, and would be going to Neverlight Grove first to collect the components Kazook needed, then we'd go onward to Gracklstugh to unload the salt and get weapons. Seluna would come with us to get components of her own from the Grove so she could make enough moon charms for all of the wererats. Before the meeting adjourned we were all given badges that declared us heroes as a thank you for all we had done so far.

***** Eleint 13

       Over morningfeast Topsy decided to bite Rosebud and Seluna to turn them, I suppose we'll find out tomorrow if it worked. Seluna gave Rosebud and I those control charms, for which I was very grateful.

       After morningfeast we decided to lay those remains to rest and get some of our questions answered by Burrow Warden Jadger. We had planned to ask him how we could prove that Thecker and the twins were part of Sajin's noble family, but when we went to lay Sajin to rest, we found all three of them listed in that area of the crypt.

       Burrow Warden Jadger told us that the Pudding King was named Jerold Smoothstones when he was still a regular svirfneblin. That would give us something to research. We asked him about the increase in demon attacks that had been seen, and he said that there was chaos in the entire Underdark, but he couldn't tell us why. To assist our travels in the caravan he also told us to seek lodestones at the Stoneheart Enclave.

       Once we finished that up, we went around looking to hire guards for our caravan. The Miner's Guild gave us a delver to guide us named Roswyn. The Stoneheart Enclave sent us a cleric named Medic, and Thecker hired a bounty hunter gunslinger named Terrik. A monk called Smoothpalm volunteered to join us for free, and an arcanist with a slightly crazed look in his eye volunteered to join too, he's called Flimflam. With our little group put together, we prepared to leave in the morning.

***** Eleint 14

       We left Blingdenstone first thing in the morning, heading for the Enclave first to get those lodestones. The twins were staying behind since they now led the wererats, and Thecker wanted to retire, so she stayed behind too. Mezzem was willing to come with us even though it meant leaving Turvy behind. The pack lizards we had were elemental, the ones Topsy had summoned before.

**** Eleint 15-16

       We arrived at the Enclave the day after leaving Blingdenstone, and got our lodestones the next day. From there we headed to the Pickshine Mines to get our salt.

***** Eleint 17-20

       Our journey to the mines was silent, thankfully, and on the fourth day we arrived and picked up our salt and food provisions to get us through the journey. We then left for Entemoch's Boon to get our lodestones activated.

***** Eleint 21

       While we waited for our lodestones to be activated, Mezzem, Tali, and I felt something tugging on our backpacks. We fished around and discovered the perfectly round stones we had found the last time we were here was the cause of it. Mezzem thought they needed to go in the circle, and moments after we stepped in the circle with the stones they hatched! It turns out they were basilisk eggs, and the infant basilisks imprinted on each of us, thinking us their mothers. Mezzem named hers Lit, Tali named hers Osaw, and I named mine Riddle.

       They are so cute! Thankfully they aren't born with their petrifying gaze, and can actually choose when they're older to turn it off and on. I'd begin training Riddle with that early.

***** Eleint 22

       We left Entemoch's Boon the next morning and began our travels to the Grove.

***** Eleint 26

       Around midday, Roswyn reported a gruesome scene up ahead. When we neared it, we found that a massacre of epic proportions had taken place in this chamber. There were a couple of carrion crawlers milling about, enjoying their meal. We decided to just skirt around them.

***** Eleint 29

       Roswyn was scouting ahead, when she heard voices speaking in orcish. After a moment, the scout was able to discern that there were twelve orcs in the group, along with a couple of ogres. She snuck back to the party to relay what she had discovered.

       We decided to take Flimflam up with us, and leave the rest of our guards- including Roswyn- behind to guard the caravan. As we got close enough to hear them, Tali told us that the orcs knew we were on our way. The orcs then demanded for us to lay down our arms and step out where they could see us. Lily stepped out and called the speaker a dumbass, which made his face cringe in pain. They opened fire on Lily, but somehow completely missed him.

       Rosebud then charged at them and caved one's skull in for attacking his momma. Two more took swipes at the halftaur, but they all missed. Tali splorted one with an arrow going perfectly into its eyeball. As arrows began to rain down around Rosebud, Lily spewed his poison breath and killed another orc. I was too far away to do anything yet, and I didn't have any clear shots to hurl my Javelin.

       Flimflam muttered that the custard stole his bonnet, and began laughing to himself, then with two thrusts of his hips, two fireballs landed on the orcs, killing a couple and wounding more- I heard the scream of another creature that we couldn't see. The chieftain chucked a spear at Rosebud and somehow managed to hit him, though it still barely grazed him. One of them hit Flimflam with an axe, as I finally was able to get close enough to hit them. I hacked my way through two of the fuckers with the Flame Tongue feature of my Rod.

       The orcs were surrounding Rosebud, and had actually managed to start hitting him. The lad was looking pretty wounded, so as one landed a nasty blow on him, I swung my sword and killed it. Arrows were still raining around Lily, but this time some of them were actually hitting her. I saw one of Tali's arrows sink into an orc as it dropped. More fire hit the orcs from Flimflam, and lightning followed up, he killed about half of them with those spells. We definitely hired the right guy. Rosebud kept swinging his weapon at the orcs, while the chieftain started beating on him. I stabbed it in retaliation again, and suddenly Rosebud swung at me, but missed. Magic must have done that.

       Magic went streaking up to the chief, probably from Mezzem, since it wasn't super destructive. Whatever the priestess did, it seemed to hurt the fucker a lot. Tali's arrows took out the final archer and the chief, and Lily summoned a huge, green hand that punched their cleric. The orcs were dead.

       We found two moon elves tied to a stalagmite in the cavern, one was dead but Lily revivified her before final death could take hold. Their names were Niles and Twyla, and they were prisoners who had been taken as slaves by the orcs. We offered to let the couple come with us, since we would eventually be getting there, and they agreed to join us.

***** Highharvestide Holiday

       We heard the sounds of battle all around us, echoing down the tunnels for miles. Roswyn was able to identify the sounds for us- she's quite helpful. We were hearing dretches, manes, and dire corbies, who sounded pissed. The sounds seemed to be coming from up ahead, and we didn't really have much choice but to press on ahead and see whatever the beasts were doing.

       Part of the wall of our tunnel had collapsed, and was now overlooking another cavern. Inside the cavern were the dretches and manes, attacking a huge tower that the corbies were in. Roswyn said that corbies tend to just take over random empty spaces, like towers, and claim them as their own. Lily realized it was a wizard's tower, and we had to kill all of them to find whatever knowledge was inside. 

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.