The Ravenloft Chronicles- Shit Storm: Book One, Chapter Six

Here There Be Dragons

Dramatis Personae:
Kithri "Quickshadow" Tealeaf, the Lightfoot Halfling Werebat Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter and Ruin Raider
Tilea Aervavil'A'Sum, the Wild Elf Circle of the Moon Druid Barbarian
Scritch, Tilea's Squirrel Animal Companion
Sachi Kno, the Vistani Weremonkey Thief
Forgrotken Anvilrocker, the Blugrim Forge Cleric of Moradin
Belmont Von Richter, the mysterious Human who tends to show up just in the nick of time
Lythana, the Human Werewolf Order of the Ghost Slayer Blood Hunter
Tabitha Marie Lennox, the Human White Witch of Mystra
Nikko, Tabitha's Flying Monkey familiar

Comrades we have lost:
Pineck, Anvil's Horse- turned into soup by a cursed crate

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Kithri's perspective, switching later to Tabitha's, anything in italics is from a third party view, since they can't be everywhere at once. 

***** Hetedik Honap 9, CY 735, Krezk

       I spent a lovely morning in my private rooms, searching through Lythana's books for something- anything- that would help lift my curse. I eventually came upon some sort of ritual, but there weren't enough details for me to go on.

       My studies were interrupted around noon, when we were taken to the Abbey of Saint Markovia. The bloody door wouldn't open until everyone had arrived, which was just damned annoying, but once we were all there it opened on its own. Inside were several elders with the church, along with Belmont and Lythana. Belmont told us we could speak freely in here, so Sachi immediately began singing "consecrate" and Anvil asked for a consecrated weapon- again.

       Once they were done being stupid, Belmont told us that since we kept kicking the bloody hornet's nest, they were going to have to induct us into the Resistance against Strahd. Anvil said Strahd looked squishy and easy to hurt, so Belmont challenged him to give him a mere taste of what we're up against. He brought Anvil to his knees instantly. Belmont said that being in the Resistance meant we had to have synergy and be equal in power, so Sachi challenged him to a fucking race... I hate these arseholes sometimes. Okay, fine, most of the time.

      Sachi was indeed faster than Belmont, no surprise there, but Belmont was able to grab him anyway. As Belmont's arm swung back to punch the monkey, Tilea grabbed his arm with a vine whip. Belmont proceeded to grab Tilea with his own whip and slam her into Sachi. For a moment, it looked like Sachi would just stop, he even said he'd learned his lesson, but then the idiot attacked Belmont again. Belmont snared him in his whip, but fumbled a little, allowing Sachi to break free. Tilea shifted into an enormous beetle of some kind... Then Anvil dumped water on the three of them and told them to cool it.

       Belmont's eyes flashed for a moment, and he yelled "the darkness will never stop, and neither will I!" Then he threw Anvil into Tilea. I didn't feel a need to get involved in this, it wasn't a required test or anything, so I drank tea and watched them get their arses handed to them. Belmont did something to Anvil and Sachi that made them confused, then he did some sort of mass attack against all of us- hurting me badly.

       Eventually we were done with this nonsense and we moved on to the initiations. Tilea went first, and was stabbed in both palms, then she made an oath that she would not leave Barovia until Strahd was killed. Sachi and Anvil did the same, but then we got to me. I told Belmont I could not make this oath, because if I found a way to go home I was taking it, period. My oath was if they helped me go home, I would become the Archivist for the Resistance; something I would love to do, and it allowed me to make an oath I knew I'd keep.

       After our initiation, Belmont told us that the Sun Sword- the original one- was hidden somewhere in Barovia, and there was a scroll that had more information on it, but it was currently in Strahd's possession. The Resistance wanted us to search the Village for it, we said we'd leave first thing in the morning.

***** Hetedik Honap 10, Krezk

       We met up just before dawn and started our trek back to the Village of Barovia. After a couple hours, we came across a group of Vistani who had a flask that Anvil insisted was magic. They tossed it to me to identify, but it was a shitty throw, and the flask hit the ground, its contents spilling out. Sachi snatched it up and began chugging; the bloody thing was cursed, of course.

       A little later, Lythana, Anvil, and Tilea said they thought something was watching us. Then Til said something was wrong with Syn, that the amulet didn't seem to be working and she wasn't responding. I realized the flow of magic was wonky and it was coming from the bad ring of mind shielding that had temporarily booted Syn out of the amulet. To make things even stranger, Sachi began vomiting shit... We stuck the ring in a bag of holding, but it didn't fix the issue. Anvil tried to remove the curse, but instead he began puking shit too. Sachi had taken the empty bag of holding and was puking into it instead. These boys are so bloody disgusting sometimes. Tilea destroyed the ring, and the spirit within it escaped; we don't know where the Hells it went, but after an hour the boys were able to speak again.

       It still felt like something was watching us; almost as if the sky itself was watching us. It was bloody creepy.

       Around noon the others watched to stop in Vallaki for lunch, which was a bad idea, but we were able to get in with no issue, which worried me. Lythana took us to a seedy looking bar where she said we'd be safe enough to rest for a meal. Sachi wanted to set a trap for the Guard Captain, just to fuck with him, which I thought was a fucking stupid idea, but the monkey ignored me. While the rest of us ate, Sachi went shopping, and apparently fucked an old lady for a discount. That monkey is fucking weird.

       When we were done, Sachi and Lythana set up a trap with the shit filled bag of holding for the Captain, while Tilea, Anvil, and I went back to the city gate to wait for them. Not long after we got to the gate, we heard a bell clanging and saw Lythana running toward us. She stopped and began beating on the guards until the Captain showed up... Sachi dumped that entire bag of holding right on top of the poor bastard, and it went right in the bloke's mouth this time. It was fucking hilarious, and disgusting.

       Once they were done with that shit, we continued on our way, and eventually it was time to make camp. We spent a bloody ridiculous amount of time arguing over where we should camp for the night, it was a stupid and pointless argument, but that seems to be the theme with these arseholes.

***** Hetedik Honap 11, Svalich Woods

       Anvil and Tilea really wanted to go to the Old Bonegrinder in the morning. Apparently they ground up the bones of children and cooked them into little cake. I didn't think we were properly equipped to take on a bunch of baby cooking hags at the moment, but the others insisted, so I reluctantly agreed to go with them.

       On our way we came across a Vistani merchant caravan, where we bought 50 pounds of salt and 50 gallons of holy water. I didn't think that would help us much, but whatever.

       There was a huge line at the Bonegrinder of people waiting for their Dream Cakes, so Tilea wanted to make it look like a delivery. The problem was they were fucking stupid, and people in line started accusing us of cutting. I just... I couldn't take anymore of this stupidity. I blew up at those idiots and went to see Belmont about getting home.

***** Tabitha

       I was in the line at the Old Bonegrinder to get my Dream Cakes, when I saw Lythana and a few buffoons walking up the line with what looked like ingredients. As I prepared to call out to my dear friend, the halfling with her started yelling and stormed off. I had Nikko hold my place in line while I went to see what Lythana was up to; she's much more intelligent than that. She told me these people were the Saviors of Barovia, which was honestly a little hard to believe, but I believed her. I called Nikko over to me, I had much to catch up on with my friend, so I wouldn't be getting my Dream Cakes today.

       When we arrived at the gates to the Village of Barovia, the Wives of Talmot were waiting for us. Of course they attacked instantly, and after a few moments, a woman appeared who looked like Agatha, my evil twin, if Aggie had our natural hair and eye colors; but her pact turned her hair as dark as her soul. This woman, Not-Agatha, attacked Tilea. I shot a witch bolt at Not-Agatha, and Tilea shifted into something weird and began beating on her. After exchanging blows a bit more, Sarah did something to try to drop Tilea out of her beast form, but Tilea reflected it back at her, and she turned into a fucking black dragon! This was not good...

       Not-Agatha shot something at Tilea, which she reflected back, and then Not-Agatha reflected it back, then Tilea reflected it back, and Not-Agatha returned it again. As Tilea reflected it back yet again, I called out a blessing to her to aid her in this strike. It didn't hit Not-Agatha, but it didn't bounce back again. Clarah went for Tilea next, but she couldn't land a blow. Apparently Tilea was the primary target for them, probably because of her druidic power. Lythana screamed "run" and charged Sarah.

       I swooped down on my broom and healed Tilea, then swooped back into the air to keep an eye on the others and get them out alive. Tarah shot at Anvil, and Tilea summoned a swarm of wharflings to attack her; then she went after Sachi and Scritch. Sachi ran into the Village screaming "dragon," panicking the villagers. Lythana was parrying Sarah's attacks with ease, and I hoped she'd be able to hold out until we could grab her.

       Farrah grabbed Anvil with her whip, then Not-Agatha shot something at him and vanished. Clarah joined in the assault on him. He managed to hit Clarah hard and tangled the two of them in Farrah's whip. I polymorphed him into a giant eagle so he could fly over the wall, but he paused to give Lythana a boon, and didn't make it to the wall quickly enough. Tarah, Farrah, and Clarah all went at him, killing him quickly.

       Lythana was bound up by Sarah, and I tried to open a dimensional door under her to get her, but Not-Agatha countered my magic twice, and I did not have enough magical energy to try a third time. I had to save my friend somehow.

All maps from the "Curse of Strahd" Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

The Ravenloft Chronicles- Shit Storm: Book One, Chapter Five

Nowhere is Safe

Dramatis Personae:
Kithri "Quickshadow" Tealeaf, the Lightfoot Halfling Werebat Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter and Ruin Raider
Tilea Aervavil'A'Sum, the Wild Elf Circle of the Moon Druid Barbarian
Scritch, Tilea's Squirrel Animal Companion
Sachi Kno, the Vistani Weremonkey Thief
Forgrotken Anvilrocker, the Blugrim Forge Cleric of Moradin
Belmont Von Richter, the mysterious Human who tends to show up just in the nick of time
Lythana, the Human Werewolf Order of the Ghost Slayer Blood Hunter

Comrades we have lost:
Pineck, Anvil's Horse- turned into soup by a cursed crate

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Kithri's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the Hunter can't be everywhere at once. 

***** Hetedik Honap 6, CY 735, Lythana's safe house in Vallaki

       Lythana cut the amulet from Tilea's neck and bound it. Lythana said they had eight hours to perform a ritual that would put Syn back in the amulet, but she'd need some odd components. 

***** Hetedik Honap 7, Lythana's safe house in Vallaki

       I awoke to Sachi yelling "consecration" at the top of his lungs, just outside my room. I grabbed my whip and walked out, forgetting I was mostly naked, and demanded Sachi tell me what the Hells he was doing. Lythana took one look at me and said it looked like I was ready for a good night- unfortunately there's no good choices here for me to have it with. Then stupid Anvil ran out of his room, grabbed Sachi, and covered his mouth. Lythana and Tilea told us it was safe to say consecrate here, and made Anvil put Sachi down.

       Lythana told us we had three hours to collect some odd components and perform a ritual. We needed to infiltrate Talmot's vault and steal a consecrated dagger; get the still beating heart of a vampire thrall; and something about a lycanthrope that Lythana wouldn't go into detail about. After a brief discussion Sachi and Tilea decided to go to the vault, Anvil and I would go for the thrall, and Lythana would deal with the lycan part.

       Of course the vampire nest was in a ritzy area of town, in a bloody gated community. Anvil wanted to bribe someone living near the wall to let us onto their roof so he could climb the wall that way. While he was doing that, I flew off to scout. As I reached the wall, it flared, and I saw two of the Talmot wives inside the gates. The one with the bow shot me twice, but I somehow managed to keep myself from shifting, and I hurried to find Anvil so he could dig them out of me.

       Since Anvil had apparently failed at the bribery idea, or at least given up on it for now, he decided he wanted to turn himself into a t-rex and smash the wall down, but then he realized he wouldn't be sentient if he did it, and we didn't need to unleash a mindless beast onto the streets. Anvil decided since he was so bloody tall, he could probably jump the wall on his own- and he managed to do it. There was a mob of people on the other side of the wall, and they all backed away in terror. I pointed out a thrall to Anvil, but the big lug accidentally killed that bloke. The second one tried to run when he reached for it, so I tripped it with my whip, and it died... I pointed to the third one and said "if you want to live, come quietly." The bloke frozen in place, allowing Anvil to grab it and run.

       When we returned, Sachi and Tilea ushered Anvil into the other room, and told me Sachi had been briefly captured in their mission, and had learned that Anvil was a spy for Strahd because of the deal he made. We told Lythana as soon as she returned, and she told us we had an hour at most. She brought out some haversacks and told us to pack up everything we could. I went for the books, of course, Sachi gathered the weapons, Tilea the alchemical supplies, and Anvil grabbed everything else. Once we'd packed up, Lythana obtained some really nice horses for us from the innkeeper. As we rode out of town, we saw the Talmot wives.

       We were heading in the direction of Belmont's tower as fast as we could, time was running short for us to complete the ritual. A few minutes after passing a crossroad, Lythana's horse collapsed out from under her. The monk was waiting for us. Lythana tossed her saddle bags at Anvil and told us to keep moving. Anvil stayed behind to help her while Sachi, Tilea, and I kept running for the safe house.

       As we finished setting up the circle, Lythana and Anvil arrived and we were able to truly get it going. Lythana placed the amulet and ring in the circle, pulled out the heart and stabbed it with the werewolf fang, and let it bleed for about a minute before putting it on top of the amulet. Then she stabbed it with the consecrated dagger. A black-looking-thing came out of the amulet and slammed into Lythana. Lythana spent the next two hours thrashing and fighting the thing, in complete silence. Finally a burst of energy shot out, throwing Sachi, Anvil, and I into the wall. Lythana was standing over the amulet, with a twisted, demented look on her face. Tilea threatened it and there was another burst of energy; it was gone! And the consecrated dagger had shattered to pieces. Lythana was laying on the ground unconscious. We made her comfortable and settled in for the day, hoping she'd be okay when she came to.

       After a while we heard hoof prints outside, and looked out to see four blokes in robes. We assumed it was the Wives again, and Sachi suggested we use the necklace of fireballs he'd found on them. They pulled out a philter of love and began soaking arrows in it, hoping to make the Wives turn against Talmot, at least briefly.

       Eventually we cracked open the door to talk to them. It was four old blokes, not the wives. They said they were with the Resistance and were looking for Belmont. I asked them to show us their marks, but Tilea pointed out that with Anvil compromised we couldn't have them reveal themselves. We put a hood on the big blue dummy, to deal with the old blokes. Then I made Anvil strip so we could look for the mark, which was hiding behind his nut sack... I really wish I hadn't seen that. The blokes said the mark won't go away until the agreement is fulfilled, which was apparently that Anvil deliver Syn to Strahd. We all pointed blades at him over that, but before we could do anything else, there was another knock on the door.

       It was one of the Wives this time, the one with whips and blonde pigtails, saying she wanted to "talk." We opened the door and Scritch chucked the necklace of fireballs at her, but he messed it up and hit me instead. Then there was a massive explosion outside. When the smoked cleared, the Wife was gone. Instead, the monk was standing about 300 feet away with a cannon, looking confused.

       The monk tried to fire again, and the cannon jammed, so she started walking toward us. Anvil sprinted toward her, Tilea, Sachi, and I all shifted and followed Anvil. The monk turned to mist and a strange glow came from the tower. When the monk reappeared she missed Tilea with several blows, then parried all of our attacks. She hit Anvil with a staff and did some odd strike to me that rocked me to the core. The monk had been using a bow, so I snagged it with my whip and flung it behind me; Lythana caught it before it flew into the tower.

       Tilea managed to score a brutal looking hit on the monk, just as Lythana reached us. The monk threw Lythana and hit Sachi and Tilea hard. Of course the monk parried my whip attacks too. This was bloody ridiculous. This continued for what felt like ages, exchanging blows with her, though we almost never hit. I don't know how in the bloody Hells we're supposed to defeat a bloke we can't hit. Suddenly, a burst of golden energy seemed to come from nowhere. It felt nice, peaceful, except to the monk who screamed in agony, turned into mist, and fled.

       Tilea took the monk's bow and stuffed it in the mountain of monkey poo from last time we were here. Then I had to bully Sachi into stripping so we could check him for a mark, and found Talmot's hiding behind his balls. Tilea, knowing that Talmot could hear her, challenged him to come face us. About five minutes later, Talmot knocked down the door and asked who dared challenge him.

       Tilea told him to knock, not be rude, so he animated the door to knock on Til's head. He couldn't enter the tower though, I think it was hallowed ground. After a couple more hours, Talmot began trying to break down the wall. Tilea responded by dropping a moonbeam on him, making the vampire scream and fly away. Then for some stupid fucking reason, Tilea started cussing him out and insulting him as he flew sway. I thought she was one of the saner people in this little group, but apparently I was bloody wrong. These people are all stupid. I just want to go home.

       Lythana recommended we leave, and it was a bloody good thing we listened; meteors began raining down on the tower. It finally stopped after about ten minutes. Apparently Til had really pissed him off.

       We headed deep into the forest, to a cave Lythana used sometimes to lay low, and settled down to rest.

***** Hetedik Honap 8, Svalich Woods, Lythana's cave

       After about four hours of rest, a storm began, and it felt like the thunder was moving closer. Tilea said Syn warned her we need to run. The Executioner was coming; a colossal sized undead frost giant. He was so massive we could see him from where we hid, and it looked like every step he took caused the storm to crackle.

       Lythana told us to follow her and we ran to Krezk, a little village not far from where we were. The guards let us in the moment they saw Lythana's face. Once we were in Lythana told Sachi and Anvil to make their peace, they had until dawn. Tilea and I were led to little rooms in the village, while Anvil and Sachi were taken elsewhere.

       This place felt peaceful and relaxed; that oppression felt pretty much everywhere in this realm was gone. I liked it here.

       In the morning we were treated to a lavish breakfast, then Lythana took Tilea and I to where they were performing the ritual to remove the marks on Sachi and Anvil. They couldn't fulfill their oaths, obviously, so instead they had to be broken for them... by chopping off their heads, then bringing them back to life. Death broke the contracts and removed the marks.

       The villagers invited us to stay as long as we wanted, which sounded lovely to me.

       Sachi and Anvil decided to make me strip to check for marks too, even though I was clean. Since I'd bullied them into getting naked yesterday, I rolled my eyes and stripped. Sachi grabbed my tit and honked it, then ran. I flew after him, caught him in my whip, and flew back, still tangled in my whip, while he apologized. As everyone laughed, I gathered my clothing.

All maps from the "Curse of Strahd" Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast