(Monkey) Shit Happens
Dramatis Personae:
Kithri "Quickshadow" Tealeaf, the Lightfoot Halfling Werebat Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter and Ruin Raider
Tilea Aervavil'A'Sum, the Wild Elf Circle of the Moon Druid Barbarian
Scritch, Tilea's Squirrel Animal Companion
Sachi Kno, the Vistani Weremonkey Thief
Forgrotken Anvilrocker, the Blugrim Forge Cleric of Moradin
Pineck, Anvil's Horse
Kithri "Quickshadow" Tealeaf, the Lightfoot Halfling Werebat Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter and Ruin Raider
Tilea Aervavil'A'Sum, the Wild Elf Circle of the Moon Druid Barbarian
Scritch, Tilea's Squirrel Animal Companion
Sachi Kno, the Vistani Weremonkey Thief
Forgrotken Anvilrocker, the Blugrim Forge Cleric of Moradin
Pineck, Anvil's Horse
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Kithri's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the Hunter can't be everywhere at once.
***** Hatodik Honap 28, CY 735, Svalich Woods
For my final initiation into the Order of the Lycan, I was sent to bring in a werewolf that was in the woods not too far from town. As I was flying around, a whip cracked into a tree next to me. A human man began chasing me- my small form and the cover of night helped me get away from him, and then he began calling out that he was here to kill me because I was a beast. The wanker seemed to think all lycans are nothing more than mindless murderers. I called down to him and told him to piss off, I only eat bugs, and the Order helps teach you control. Like most people 'round here, he'd heard of my Order, and told me if I showed him my amulet with the crest.
The bloke introduced himself as Belmont and offered to help me bring in the wolf I'd been sent to collect. When we got to the wolf, it bit me hard, so I got in the air while Belmont restrained it with his whips. He does some pretty cool shit with those whips, I need to learn those tricks. Anyway, I attempted to talk to the wolf, and it began trying to chew its arm off to get out of the whip... The poor fucker was completely feral; I let Belmont kill it, then he left me with a bloody huge corpse.
I couldn't just leave the corpse out in the open, and I was about as big as the bloke's arm so carrying him was out of the question, so I began digging a grave; the bloke deserved that at the very least. I'm really bloody bad at digging graves, and after a while an enormous squirrel approached me and took over the work. I'm pretty sure it was a weresquirrel, but it didn't acknowledge me or my attempts to speak to it, and it had kind of brushed me to the side, so I set up a little fire and began brewing tea.
When it was nearly done, a bunch of members of the Order showed up; apparently this was my final initiation test and I passed with flying colors. I did admit to them that that Belmont bloke had helped me, and they were fucking impressed I'd survived him; this guy is known to be a hard ass I guess. They helped us finish the squirrel finish digging the grave, we got the dead fucker buried, and then the squirrel shifted into an elven woman.
After all that I needed something a bit stronger in my tea, so my Order and I turned toward town. I invited the squirrel- Tilea- to join us, since she'd dug a lot of the grave for me, I figured I owed her a drink. On the way back to Vallaki, Tilea befriended a rat. Druids are fucking weird.
As we approached the Blue Water Inn, the main gathering place in Vallaki, smoke was puffing from the chimney of the large, two story wooden building, with a sagging tile roof and a stone foundation. As usual, there were ravens perched on it sign, which hangs above the main entrance and depicts a blue waterfall. I don't think there's something of that beauty anywhere in Barovia. Tilea befriended one of the ravens on the sign as we entered. The inn was fairly packed for this time of night, so Tilea and I were stuck at a table near the kitchen.
After a couple hours a bard wandered in, whispered to the barkeep, and headed into the kitchen. I didn't think anything of it, but for some reason, Tilea decided she needed to follow the bloke. She tripped as she tried to walk in, and said she was looking for a proper berry wine; earlier they'd given her a regular wine, considering grapes to be berries. Then a huge blue fucker from a couple tables away got up and followed Tilea in. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but Tilea was tossed out of the kitchen in a net and the blue fucker was hogtied by a whip when he was kicked out. I think I'm just going to stay out of this stupidity.
The crowd was beginning to stir by now, restless in their wait for entertainment, though that was remedied quickly, as the bard's body fell from the rafters to the stage. Tilea and the blue fucker rushed to the body and pronounced him dead; though apparently the body didn't look the same as the bard wearing those clothes earlier had; bloke probably just used disguising magic to look how he wanted. Tilea said the wounds looked like a humanoid claw made them, and she called to a woman in the crowd who I guess had a weapon similar? I honestly wasn't paying much attention, I like to keep to meself when I can.
And that was when the guards rushed in. The idiots decided Tilea and the blue fucker were suspects because they were standing over the body when they walked in. I stepped in to try to help Tilea, and the idiots decided to arrest all three of us. I knew it would all be sorted out quickly, so I reluctantly allowed them to cuff me; besides, I can easily get out of these locks if the need arises.
As we walked out of the tavern, Tilea told her raven friend to go get her rat and Scritch, her squirrel friend... which made the idiot guards start yelling that she was a tree witch. The Captain of the Guard joined the other idiots arresting us, and we were marched down the street toward the station. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a wad of shit flew out of the shadows and hit the guard right in the face. It was fucking hilarious. The blue fucker- who'd introduced himself as Anvil- declared it as a sign from his god that we should be set free... so they decided that meant he'd somehow done this. Tilea said Anvil was a god witch, just to get a rise out of the guard, and as he opened his mouth to start yelling, another wad of shit flew at his face... and right into his open mouth.
Everyone doubled over laughing, except for the guard of course. As I wondered who in the Nine would be stupid enough to do that, Belmont appeared again, flicked his wrist, and a small monkey came off the roof of a house to land at our feet. The Captain had cleaned enough shit out of his mouth to start yelling at Belmont, apparently he wasn't allowed in town. He said he'd leave with all of us after one drink, which the furious Captain agreed to, probably so he could hurry to scrub his face and mouth. As we reached the door of the Blue Water Inn, the monkey turned 'round, looked the Captain right in the eye, and gave him a shit eating grin. The Captain snarled for his men to catch the monkey.
The rest of us headed into the bar, knowing we'd have some time while the monkey hunt commenced. Sachi- the monkey- doubled back and joined us quickly. Belmont had apparently robbed the Captain and proceeded to buy us a feast with his money, which we all gratefully dug into. While there, Tilea befriended a dog and a cat, because apparently she can't go more than an hour without trying to befriend an animal. As we relaxed, Sachi regaled us with a bunch of tales that were complete bullshit, but they were entertaining nonetheless.
It took the Captain a couple hours to return to the Inn, and he shot Sachi on sight. As his men were dragging an unconscious Sachi out of the bar, the rest of us were ordered to leave and never come back. Instead, we rose to go after the monkey, but the guards made sure to escort us out of town before we could.
Belmont said he had a feeling Sachi was important, so we needed to go after him. He was willing to do it alone, but we decided to follow him. He led us to a small stream- it was where the sewers in town ran out- and said we'd have to go in that way. I shifted into my little bat form so I wouldn't have to trudge through sewage for some cheeky monkey I'd known for only a couple hours. I don't know why I was even doing this much for him, but I felt like I needed to somehow. The tunnel we needed to go through was covered in a heavy-looking grate that Anvil was able to remove with ease. He could barely fit through in the tunnel; I was so grateful for my shifting right now.
I used my echolocation to get the lay of the land, and it was coming back soft, like it was hitting something, but not something firm or solid or something. Thankfully Tilea somewhat understood me in this form, so I was able to relay this to the others.
***** Hetedik Honap 1, Summer Solstice, tunnels below Vallaki
We traveled in silence for what felt like- and probably was- hours, before Belmont walked right into a gelatinous cube that was creating a blockage in the tunnel. That's why my echolocation came back soft. Anvil whacked it with a hammer while I shifted into my hybrid form and stabbed it. Tilea tossed a handful of seeds into the cube, which exploded instantly.
The cube moved, shoving me back and engulfing Tilea and Anvil. Belmont somehow managed to flick his whip around inside the cube, killing the fucking thing. I really need to study his whip use.
A scream echoed down the tunnel as a wall of sewage crashed down on us. It was bloody disgusting. That damned cube had held back a lot of sewage. I'm going to have to burn these clothes now. Meanwhile, the scream began to rise louder and louder, to the point that it began hurting my sensitive ears. Blood began pouring into the sewer, leading us right to where poor Sachi was being held.
There was a tunnel leading up to where Sachi was, so Tilea turned into a monkey and began to climb it, Belmont began climbing up on his own, I took to the air, and Anvil tried to climb, but the bloke barely fit in here. This tunnel was the first place where he'd been able to stand fully upright. When I was at the top of the tunnel I squeaked to get the layout with my echolocation and I suddenly turned back into meself. I managed to grab onto the sewer grate, so I didn't plummet to a disgusting grave. I called down for Anvil to catch me and dropped; thankfully the bloke is only slow in the head.
Belmont blew up the sewer grate and found Sachi strapped to a table with a constant stream of liquid being poured onto his head. Belmont and Tilea went to distract the guards, while I used my blood rite to try to cut through the straps holding Sachi down. There were twenty of them in all, so Anvil helped me work on them. Tilea summoned a bunch of swarms of monkies to attack the guards before she came to help. The water being dumped on Sachi was moonwater from a chalice of endless water, with Selune's symbol on it. Tilea took that for herself, and Belmont revived Sachi with smelling salts. Sachi was shocked that we'd come back for him, but honestly, so was I.
We jumped back into the tunnel just as a shit load of guards came bursting into the room. Tilea knocked most of them prone with the chalice she'd liberated, and Belmont dealt with the last of them with his whip. My place was too far away, so Belmont took us to his to lay low- turns out it was Van Richten's Tower on the shore of Lake Baratok.
As we traveled, I heard some bats approaching us, they were saying "kill, murder, kill." They had to have been summoned, bats wouldn't normally talk like that. When the swarms reached us, Belmont stepped forward, his whip caught fire, and in a move so fast my eye couldn't follow, he destroyed all of the bat swarms.
Eventually we reached the Tower, and found twenty scarecrows between us and the tower. Tilea marched right up to them, covered herself in quills, and turned into a giant roctopus. Belmont through out holy water that set a couple of them on fire. Sachi jumped over Tilea to attack a couple, then used her as a ramp to jump back to Anvil. They tried to attack Tilea, but failed miserably, the little damage they managed to do didn't even seem to phase her.
I got in the air and killed the scarecrow that had rushed Anvil. Tilea's eight arms whirled as she continued to beat on the constructs in front of her. Sachi began another attack on one, as Anvil rushed forward to help with the attack. Then poor Anvil got surrounded and went down... Not sure if he was dead or just unconscious, but there were too many scarecrows around for any of us to check. Tilea got swarmed by the ones she'd been bitch slapping and she was reverted back to herself. This had suddenly gotten a bit more difficult.
I killed two of the damned things with my whips; I'm not as good with them as Belmont, but I know a thing or two. Pineck was apparently furious that the scarecrows had harmed his master, the horse charged forward and knocked over every scarecrow near Anvil's prone form- killing two of them. Apparently that horse was a fucking bad ass. Sachi waded back into the fray to stab another one, then retreated again. Belmont knocked one into the water and it was torn apart by whatever fish were in it... Don't go swimming here, apparently. One of the ones Pineck had knocked prone attempted to attack it, and the horse killed it for its effort.
Then the next ten of them came at us. I continued whipping at them from the air, while Tilea began shooting at them, and Sachi dashed in, attacked, and bolted. Belmont tried to use his whip to revive Anvil, but it didn't seem to actually do anything. Tilea yelled to hold the scarecrows back, and summoned an azza gremlin, hoping the electricity it used would revive Anvil, and it fucking worked! I couldn't believe it! Belmont's whip began to glow, and every scarecrow he struck crumbled to dust. There were only three left by the time Belmont finished his assault. One of them hit Belmont and another went for Pineck; I killed the one who went for Pineck. Anvil killed the last two.
We hurried into the tower, which was in serious disrepair. Just as we began to get settled to sleep, the bloody sun began to rise.
After we woke up, Belmont left, saying he was heading to the Solstice Festival. I planned to go to the Village of Barovia, since I couldn't return to Vallaki anytime soon, thanks to the damned monkey. The stairs to the other floors were caved in, so Sachi decided to climb around the outside of the tower to see if he could find anything in the upper floors. After a bit I heard him get in trouble, so I flew up to see what the damned monkey was getting into now.
By the time I got up there, he was stuck in the window, so I flew in, shifted, and pushed him out... Didn't think about him not being able to fly... He landed with a crash, but seemed to be okay, and I flew back out.
Not long after that, Sachi stole a moonberry from Tilea- a goodberry made with moonwater- and Sachi was shifted into his human form. He began flipping out that he couldn't shift, so Tilea gave him a laxative... He spent the next forty fucking minutes shitting on the backside of the tower. The noises were bloody awful... Cringing, I didn't think to look when Tilea held something out to me and said "tea?" It was the fucking laxative... I puked up most of it, but I spent about ten minutes shitting. These were the people I'd been stuck with? Seriously?
Eventually we packed up and set out for the Village of Barovia. As we left, Tilea told Sachi I had biscuits- knowing full well I was out. Sachi didn't believe me, and spent the next hour trying to find and steal the biscuits that no longer existed. Around the time that Sachi gave up, we came across some rusty nails in the middle of the road. Tilea said they had to be cursed, but Anvil ignored her and collected them anyway; she said he'd probably wake up and find himself in a coffin that was nailed shut. I think she may be a bit over dramatic.
About an hour later we found gloves in the road, that were made of human flesh, and had razor-sharp, ivory claws as nails. Sachi put them on instantly, and they fused to his arms. Tilea leaned in and asked him "what have we learned?" And the monkey slashed at her with his new claws.
An hour after that- just outside of the Barovia- we saw a flickering green light, which made Anvil speed up, I trailed behind him, hoping to stop him from doing something stupid. Turns out that was a pointless endeavor... The source of the flame was a lantern with a back candle inside it, and the flame was green. Anvil put a sack on top of the lantern, then dropped a bucket on top of it, and flipped it all over; he was so proud of himself for finding a way to pick it up without touching it that he didn't notice right away when his sack caught fire. I asked Tilea if there was anything she could do about the lantern, and she decided to try to shoot out the flame. I'm surrounded by bloody morons.
The first arrow was incinerated by the fire, then Tilea accidentally shot Anvil, and then she killed some poor bloke who had made the mistake of walking past the lantern as she shot. The nearby guards merely shrugged and walked away. Sachi began looting the corpse, then made the mistake of talking in his monkey form... leading to a full-scale manhunt for the little shit. He got ahead of them and shifted into his human form, meeting up with us outside of the inn, which had a moon room. While I was getting the keys, some bloke bumped into Sachi and he slaughtered him for no reason. Great, we have an insane, homicidal monkey on our hands.
I hurried to the moon room, with Sachi right behind me, and an angry mob on his heels. I slammed the door shut just as the mob was hitting the top of the stairs.
All maps from the "Curse of Strahd" adventure module by Wizards of the Coast.
For my final initiation into the Order of the Lycan, I was sent to bring in a werewolf that was in the woods not too far from town. As I was flying around, a whip cracked into a tree next to me. A human man began chasing me- my small form and the cover of night helped me get away from him, and then he began calling out that he was here to kill me because I was a beast. The wanker seemed to think all lycans are nothing more than mindless murderers. I called down to him and told him to piss off, I only eat bugs, and the Order helps teach you control. Like most people 'round here, he'd heard of my Order, and told me if I showed him my amulet with the crest.
The bloke introduced himself as Belmont and offered to help me bring in the wolf I'd been sent to collect. When we got to the wolf, it bit me hard, so I got in the air while Belmont restrained it with his whips. He does some pretty cool shit with those whips, I need to learn those tricks. Anyway, I attempted to talk to the wolf, and it began trying to chew its arm off to get out of the whip... The poor fucker was completely feral; I let Belmont kill it, then he left me with a bloody huge corpse.
I couldn't just leave the corpse out in the open, and I was about as big as the bloke's arm so carrying him was out of the question, so I began digging a grave; the bloke deserved that at the very least. I'm really bloody bad at digging graves, and after a while an enormous squirrel approached me and took over the work. I'm pretty sure it was a weresquirrel, but it didn't acknowledge me or my attempts to speak to it, and it had kind of brushed me to the side, so I set up a little fire and began brewing tea.
When it was nearly done, a bunch of members of the Order showed up; apparently this was my final initiation test and I passed with flying colors. I did admit to them that that Belmont bloke had helped me, and they were fucking impressed I'd survived him; this guy is known to be a hard ass I guess. They helped us finish the squirrel finish digging the grave, we got the dead fucker buried, and then the squirrel shifted into an elven woman.
After all that I needed something a bit stronger in my tea, so my Order and I turned toward town. I invited the squirrel- Tilea- to join us, since she'd dug a lot of the grave for me, I figured I owed her a drink. On the way back to Vallaki, Tilea befriended a rat. Druids are fucking weird.
As we approached the Blue Water Inn, the main gathering place in Vallaki, smoke was puffing from the chimney of the large, two story wooden building, with a sagging tile roof and a stone foundation. As usual, there were ravens perched on it sign, which hangs above the main entrance and depicts a blue waterfall. I don't think there's something of that beauty anywhere in Barovia. Tilea befriended one of the ravens on the sign as we entered. The inn was fairly packed for this time of night, so Tilea and I were stuck at a table near the kitchen.
After a couple hours a bard wandered in, whispered to the barkeep, and headed into the kitchen. I didn't think anything of it, but for some reason, Tilea decided she needed to follow the bloke. She tripped as she tried to walk in, and said she was looking for a proper berry wine; earlier they'd given her a regular wine, considering grapes to be berries. Then a huge blue fucker from a couple tables away got up and followed Tilea in. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but Tilea was tossed out of the kitchen in a net and the blue fucker was hogtied by a whip when he was kicked out. I think I'm just going to stay out of this stupidity.
The crowd was beginning to stir by now, restless in their wait for entertainment, though that was remedied quickly, as the bard's body fell from the rafters to the stage. Tilea and the blue fucker rushed to the body and pronounced him dead; though apparently the body didn't look the same as the bard wearing those clothes earlier had; bloke probably just used disguising magic to look how he wanted. Tilea said the wounds looked like a humanoid claw made them, and she called to a woman in the crowd who I guess had a weapon similar? I honestly wasn't paying much attention, I like to keep to meself when I can.
And that was when the guards rushed in. The idiots decided Tilea and the blue fucker were suspects because they were standing over the body when they walked in. I stepped in to try to help Tilea, and the idiots decided to arrest all three of us. I knew it would all be sorted out quickly, so I reluctantly allowed them to cuff me; besides, I can easily get out of these locks if the need arises.
As we walked out of the tavern, Tilea told her raven friend to go get her rat and Scritch, her squirrel friend... which made the idiot guards start yelling that she was a tree witch. The Captain of the Guard joined the other idiots arresting us, and we were marched down the street toward the station. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a wad of shit flew out of the shadows and hit the guard right in the face. It was fucking hilarious. The blue fucker- who'd introduced himself as Anvil- declared it as a sign from his god that we should be set free... so they decided that meant he'd somehow done this. Tilea said Anvil was a god witch, just to get a rise out of the guard, and as he opened his mouth to start yelling, another wad of shit flew at his face... and right into his open mouth.
Everyone doubled over laughing, except for the guard of course. As I wondered who in the Nine would be stupid enough to do that, Belmont appeared again, flicked his wrist, and a small monkey came off the roof of a house to land at our feet. The Captain had cleaned enough shit out of his mouth to start yelling at Belmont, apparently he wasn't allowed in town. He said he'd leave with all of us after one drink, which the furious Captain agreed to, probably so he could hurry to scrub his face and mouth. As we reached the door of the Blue Water Inn, the monkey turned 'round, looked the Captain right in the eye, and gave him a shit eating grin. The Captain snarled for his men to catch the monkey.
The rest of us headed into the bar, knowing we'd have some time while the monkey hunt commenced. Sachi- the monkey- doubled back and joined us quickly. Belmont had apparently robbed the Captain and proceeded to buy us a feast with his money, which we all gratefully dug into. While there, Tilea befriended a dog and a cat, because apparently she can't go more than an hour without trying to befriend an animal. As we relaxed, Sachi regaled us with a bunch of tales that were complete bullshit, but they were entertaining nonetheless.
It took the Captain a couple hours to return to the Inn, and he shot Sachi on sight. As his men were dragging an unconscious Sachi out of the bar, the rest of us were ordered to leave and never come back. Instead, we rose to go after the monkey, but the guards made sure to escort us out of town before we could.
Belmont said he had a feeling Sachi was important, so we needed to go after him. He was willing to do it alone, but we decided to follow him. He led us to a small stream- it was where the sewers in town ran out- and said we'd have to go in that way. I shifted into my little bat form so I wouldn't have to trudge through sewage for some cheeky monkey I'd known for only a couple hours. I don't know why I was even doing this much for him, but I felt like I needed to somehow. The tunnel we needed to go through was covered in a heavy-looking grate that Anvil was able to remove with ease. He could barely fit through in the tunnel; I was so grateful for my shifting right now.
I used my echolocation to get the lay of the land, and it was coming back soft, like it was hitting something, but not something firm or solid or something. Thankfully Tilea somewhat understood me in this form, so I was able to relay this to the others.
***** Hetedik Honap 1, Summer Solstice, tunnels below Vallaki
We traveled in silence for what felt like- and probably was- hours, before Belmont walked right into a gelatinous cube that was creating a blockage in the tunnel. That's why my echolocation came back soft. Anvil whacked it with a hammer while I shifted into my hybrid form and stabbed it. Tilea tossed a handful of seeds into the cube, which exploded instantly.
The cube moved, shoving me back and engulfing Tilea and Anvil. Belmont somehow managed to flick his whip around inside the cube, killing the fucking thing. I really need to study his whip use.
A scream echoed down the tunnel as a wall of sewage crashed down on us. It was bloody disgusting. That damned cube had held back a lot of sewage. I'm going to have to burn these clothes now. Meanwhile, the scream began to rise louder and louder, to the point that it began hurting my sensitive ears. Blood began pouring into the sewer, leading us right to where poor Sachi was being held.
There was a tunnel leading up to where Sachi was, so Tilea turned into a monkey and began to climb it, Belmont began climbing up on his own, I took to the air, and Anvil tried to climb, but the bloke barely fit in here. This tunnel was the first place where he'd been able to stand fully upright. When I was at the top of the tunnel I squeaked to get the layout with my echolocation and I suddenly turned back into meself. I managed to grab onto the sewer grate, so I didn't plummet to a disgusting grave. I called down for Anvil to catch me and dropped; thankfully the bloke is only slow in the head.
Belmont blew up the sewer grate and found Sachi strapped to a table with a constant stream of liquid being poured onto his head. Belmont and Tilea went to distract the guards, while I used my blood rite to try to cut through the straps holding Sachi down. There were twenty of them in all, so Anvil helped me work on them. Tilea summoned a bunch of swarms of monkies to attack the guards before she came to help. The water being dumped on Sachi was moonwater from a chalice of endless water, with Selune's symbol on it. Tilea took that for herself, and Belmont revived Sachi with smelling salts. Sachi was shocked that we'd come back for him, but honestly, so was I.
We jumped back into the tunnel just as a shit load of guards came bursting into the room. Tilea knocked most of them prone with the chalice she'd liberated, and Belmont dealt with the last of them with his whip. My place was too far away, so Belmont took us to his to lay low- turns out it was Van Richten's Tower on the shore of Lake Baratok.
As we traveled, I heard some bats approaching us, they were saying "kill, murder, kill." They had to have been summoned, bats wouldn't normally talk like that. When the swarms reached us, Belmont stepped forward, his whip caught fire, and in a move so fast my eye couldn't follow, he destroyed all of the bat swarms.
Eventually we reached the Tower, and found twenty scarecrows between us and the tower. Tilea marched right up to them, covered herself in quills, and turned into a giant roctopus. Belmont through out holy water that set a couple of them on fire. Sachi jumped over Tilea to attack a couple, then used her as a ramp to jump back to Anvil. They tried to attack Tilea, but failed miserably, the little damage they managed to do didn't even seem to phase her.
I got in the air and killed the scarecrow that had rushed Anvil. Tilea's eight arms whirled as she continued to beat on the constructs in front of her. Sachi began another attack on one, as Anvil rushed forward to help with the attack. Then poor Anvil got surrounded and went down... Not sure if he was dead or just unconscious, but there were too many scarecrows around for any of us to check. Tilea got swarmed by the ones she'd been bitch slapping and she was reverted back to herself. This had suddenly gotten a bit more difficult.
I killed two of the damned things with my whips; I'm not as good with them as Belmont, but I know a thing or two. Pineck was apparently furious that the scarecrows had harmed his master, the horse charged forward and knocked over every scarecrow near Anvil's prone form- killing two of them. Apparently that horse was a fucking bad ass. Sachi waded back into the fray to stab another one, then retreated again. Belmont knocked one into the water and it was torn apart by whatever fish were in it... Don't go swimming here, apparently. One of the ones Pineck had knocked prone attempted to attack it, and the horse killed it for its effort.
Then the next ten of them came at us. I continued whipping at them from the air, while Tilea began shooting at them, and Sachi dashed in, attacked, and bolted. Belmont tried to use his whip to revive Anvil, but it didn't seem to actually do anything. Tilea yelled to hold the scarecrows back, and summoned an azza gremlin, hoping the electricity it used would revive Anvil, and it fucking worked! I couldn't believe it! Belmont's whip began to glow, and every scarecrow he struck crumbled to dust. There were only three left by the time Belmont finished his assault. One of them hit Belmont and another went for Pineck; I killed the one who went for Pineck. Anvil killed the last two.
We hurried into the tower, which was in serious disrepair. Just as we began to get settled to sleep, the bloody sun began to rise.
After we woke up, Belmont left, saying he was heading to the Solstice Festival. I planned to go to the Village of Barovia, since I couldn't return to Vallaki anytime soon, thanks to the damned monkey. The stairs to the other floors were caved in, so Sachi decided to climb around the outside of the tower to see if he could find anything in the upper floors. After a bit I heard him get in trouble, so I flew up to see what the damned monkey was getting into now.
By the time I got up there, he was stuck in the window, so I flew in, shifted, and pushed him out... Didn't think about him not being able to fly... He landed with a crash, but seemed to be okay, and I flew back out.
Not long after that, Sachi stole a moonberry from Tilea- a goodberry made with moonwater- and Sachi was shifted into his human form. He began flipping out that he couldn't shift, so Tilea gave him a laxative... He spent the next forty fucking minutes shitting on the backside of the tower. The noises were bloody awful... Cringing, I didn't think to look when Tilea held something out to me and said "tea?" It was the fucking laxative... I puked up most of it, but I spent about ten minutes shitting. These were the people I'd been stuck with? Seriously?
Eventually we packed up and set out for the Village of Barovia. As we left, Tilea told Sachi I had biscuits- knowing full well I was out. Sachi didn't believe me, and spent the next hour trying to find and steal the biscuits that no longer existed. Around the time that Sachi gave up, we came across some rusty nails in the middle of the road. Tilea said they had to be cursed, but Anvil ignored her and collected them anyway; she said he'd probably wake up and find himself in a coffin that was nailed shut. I think she may be a bit over dramatic.
About an hour later we found gloves in the road, that were made of human flesh, and had razor-sharp, ivory claws as nails. Sachi put them on instantly, and they fused to his arms. Tilea leaned in and asked him "what have we learned?" And the monkey slashed at her with his new claws.
An hour after that- just outside of the Barovia- we saw a flickering green light, which made Anvil speed up, I trailed behind him, hoping to stop him from doing something stupid. Turns out that was a pointless endeavor... The source of the flame was a lantern with a back candle inside it, and the flame was green. Anvil put a sack on top of the lantern, then dropped a bucket on top of it, and flipped it all over; he was so proud of himself for finding a way to pick it up without touching it that he didn't notice right away when his sack caught fire. I asked Tilea if there was anything she could do about the lantern, and she decided to try to shoot out the flame. I'm surrounded by bloody morons.
The first arrow was incinerated by the fire, then Tilea accidentally shot Anvil, and then she killed some poor bloke who had made the mistake of walking past the lantern as she shot. The nearby guards merely shrugged and walked away. Sachi began looting the corpse, then made the mistake of talking in his monkey form... leading to a full-scale manhunt for the little shit. He got ahead of them and shifted into his human form, meeting up with us outside of the inn, which had a moon room. While I was getting the keys, some bloke bumped into Sachi and he slaughtered him for no reason. Great, we have an insane, homicidal monkey on our hands.
I hurried to the moon room, with Sachi right behind me, and an angry mob on his heels. I slammed the door shut just as the mob was hitting the top of the stairs.
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