The Hallways from Hell
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress
Steve, Quinn's Octopus familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Tarsakh 18, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), White Plume Mountain
Quinn was so wiped out from the ship that she pretty much slept for 24 hours straight; she didn't even mind the puke and shit that was in the room from us expelling the spider-scorpions. The rest of us went outside after that, and I tinkered with that gun I'd found, and worked on reverse engineering the stasis balls Jackass gave us. I feel like I'm close to unlocking the secrets to those balls, I'm just missing something.
When Quinn was finally rested enough to get going, we trekked our way back into the mountain to continue hunting down those weapons. The spiral staircase was more rickety than it had been before, but it thankfully didn't collapse under us. The water on the floor had gotten hella deeper and was scalding- nearly boiling. Guess the water from the room with the giant cave mantis shrimp spilled all the way out here. Quinn put the water walking spell on us again so we wouldn't be sloshing through that scalding water.
When we got to the intersection where the gynosphinx had been, the others heard running water. The path that we'd taken before, the one that led us to the mantis shrimp, had water running down it, it was completely flooded. The path to the right seemed to be dumping water into the sea somehow. We decided to take the path to the left, since it wasn't flooded with scalding water.
The water was churning hella bad in the intersection, which we still had to cross to get onto the left path. Jak jumped over with ease, Oskar almost fell over but Jak caught him- then Quinn went, and the showoff basically surfed the currents. Then it was our turn. Bumbersnoot lifted his leg and peed on the corner, making himself lighter before getting us across; I was pleasantly surprised by my puppy's method of getting us through that.
We walked through the tunnel for what felt like forever, before reaching a weird ass hallway. This one was lined with copper metal plates, and it was too steamy to see the end of. About 30 feet down the hallway it started getting uncomfortably hot- Bumbersnoot was burning me, so I turned around- the others followed us. Jak touched one of the copper plates and felt an electrical type charge, and decided he would just pry the plating off the walls. I gave him one of my crowbars, but it started getting super hot, so he dropped it in the water below us- the fucking bar sizzled and steamed like when a blacksmith puts their work in water.
Since Jak was in the least amount of metal, he stripped and decided to scout the hall for us. After a few seconds we heard him say "oh shit," and he booked it back to us. He got jumped by some fucking ghouls at the other end of the hall. The ghouls didn't follow him, which gave us time to come up with a plan. Since Bumbersnoot could run about 90 feet, I thought if we just booked it down the hallway we might be able to get through it before it burned us. Oskar didn't want to take off his armor- which, considering what was waiting for us on the other side, I couldn't blame him for that- so, I suggested shrinking him and putting him on Bumbersnoot with me would be the best way to go about this.
Oskar, Bumbersnoot, and I were almost at the end of the hallway when a ghoul reached up from under the water and grabbed Bumbersnoot. I shot it with my gun and yelled for the others as more ghouls moved toward us. Jak charged in behind us, hitting one hard enough to kill it. I couldn't contain the cry that escaped me as another ghoul hit me hella hard. Oskar jumped off Bumbersnoot and booked it to the end of the hall. Then Quinn appeared behind me and shot her chaos bolt at two of the ghouls going for Bumbersnoot and I.
Bumbersnoot tripped the ghoul in front of him and I shot it as we bolted to the end of the hall- running over Oskar on our way through. With the steam we couldn't see him- but at least we were out of that inferno of a hallway. The ghouls began moving on Oskar, trying to corner him. Suddenly the water in front of us turned into Quinn- that's such a fucking weird thing- and chaos bolted one of the ghouls in the room with us. I felt my flesh knit back together as Oskar touched my arm and healed me- then his spirit weapon appeared and he smacked a ghoul with it.
Bumbersnoot and I came to Oskar's aid, by tripping and shooting one of the ghouls who was attacking him. I saw Quinn shoot one of the ghouls in the infernal hallway, and Jak pummeled one ghoul who was a fucking archer, but instead of going down, and amulet around his neck flashed and it stayed up. Oskar muttered a prayer, that I think was supposed to dust the ghouls, but all of their necklaces flashed and nothing happened, so he killed one with his spirit weapon.
Thankfully the ghouls seemed to be having trouble hitting us, because they hit hella hard. Bumbersnoot tripped another one and I disintegrated its head with my gun. I like that thing. There was only one left now- the fucking archer. I cried out in pain as one of its arrows sunk into me. It was close enough for Bumbersnoot to bite and trip it- when he came up from his attack one of its legs was in his mouth- my puppy had ripped it off to protect me. Jak jumped on the fallen ghoul and beat the hell out of it to make sure it was definitely dead... or re-dead I guess?
After that nasty fight we needed a brief rest. There was a staircase in the room that led to a landing we could rest on without being stuck in the water, and its door was so swollen with water that it wouldn't open, so we thought we should be somewhat safe. When our rest was over Jak and Oskar slammed the door open, and we discovered the hell of a hallway that was waiting for us on the other side. The path in front of us was broken up by a five foot wide pit that had metal glinting in the bottom. The floor beyond the pit had a silvery sheen to it, like it was over waxed or something, and beyond that we could just make out another pit. This was going to be just fanfuckingtastic.
Jak decided to jump over the pit, but instead he tripped and fell into it instead. It was full of rusty razors. Oskar tossed a rope down to him, and Bumbersnoot and Quinn went to help him pull Jak up. That didn't work so well... Bumbersnoot knocked Quinn over in his attempts to help. I set up my lift system and hauled Jak out of there- he was in seriously bad shape and had to get healed by Oskar as soon as we got him out of the pit. I suggested we take a brief rest so that Oskar could learn that air bridge spell again to let us cross, but since it wouldn't quite get us all the way across, we'd have Quinn take it and misty step the rest of the way. I would build a zip line and have her take it over there for us to get over.
About 20 minutes into this break we heard a splash in the water in the room we'd fought the ghouls in, and Jak saw ripples in the middle of the room. I set my device down and hopped on Bumbersnoot to prepare, while Quinn shot lightning from her trident... and somehow hit herself with one of the bolts. The four of use waited for something to appear, and hoped we wouldn't have to disrupt Oskar's meditation for whatever was coming. It took a few seconds for an ogre to come around the corner and swing at Jak. We all went for it, and aside from it dodging my beetle, we all hit. Bumbersnoot was able to trip the damn thing.
Two more ogres came around the corner as the one Bumbersnoot tripped stood up and swung at him- missing, thankfully. The other two tossed javelins at us, and missed horribly. Jak caved in the skull of the one in front of us, and I tossed an exploding mouse at the two in the water. One of them didn't appreciate that much and ran up too punch me, which got him killed by Critical Bumbersnoot. The final ogre reached past me to grab at Quinn, getting it hit by Jak and Bumbersnoot... I missed and accidentally shot Jak instead. Critical Bumbersnoot finished it off.
I got back to work on the zip line while Jak and Quinn went to look for loot. They didn't look long though, apparently the fucking ogres had dropped bear traps in the water, and Quinn got herself stuck in one. After giving up on that, Jak hauled one of the ogre corpses into the pit to give us a macabre stepping stone.
Once Oskar had gotten that spell from Moradin he cast it, and nothing happened. We tested a couple other spells to see if it was an anti-magic area, but those went off without issue. Jak hauled one of the ogre corpses into the pit, and decided to toss the others in there to give us a pseudo bridge. After tossing one in, Jak decided to haul the other three in. We tied the corpses to Bumbersnoot one at a time, helping Oskar and Jak to lower them into the pit. The second one was easy, but when we got to the third and final one, Jak slipped, and it hit the other two corpses too hard, causing them all to bounce out of the pit.
All three of them slide across the stretch of hallway and fell right into the pit on the side. That floor seemed to be much slicker than we'd thought, so to test it, Quinn pulled a ball out of her bag of tricks, which turned into a goat. The poor goat flailed and squirmed as it slid across the floor and vanished on the other side. After that, Oskar tried his air bridge again, and it failed again.
Since the floor seemed to have absolutely no friction to it, I decided to whip up something that might help us stick to the floor. I made these little glove/booty sets of us with a sticky goo on them that would hopefully do the trick. Quinn volunteered to be the one to test my goo, and moved to attempt to climb across the hall. As she moved to climb over the pit directly in front of us, Quinn slipped and slid across the floor into the other pit. I wasn't sure if my bags had failed or if they weren't able to grab because she was flailing around too much for them to truly hit the floor as she slid.
To test that theory, I stuck a rock in one of my goo bags and tossed it over the pit; it swirled around the floor as it went straight in. Fanfuckingtastic. We couldn't get across this stupid thing with magic, my alchemy wasn't working, and now Quinn was stuck on the other side, and none of us could get to her to help. Oskar and Jak hoped she had a good grip on the zip line she was supposed to be setting up over there, and they yanked it to try to get her out of the pit.
Apparently Quinn didn't have a good grip on it, because when they yanked on it, the only thing attached to it was the goo gloves. Jak tossed it back to her, hoping it would reach her. It took a few tries before the boys managed to pull Quinn out of that pit... and she slide head first into the pit in front of us.
After that fiasco, that left Quinn badly injured, we decided to try to build a wedge that would hopefully catch us before we slid into the stupid pit. We took down the wooden door to this room and attached three bears traps to it, along with some other miscellaneous stuff I had. We attached lines to it to control where it ended up on the other side... and poor Quinn wasn't able to hold her grip, she went sliding across the hall again, landing in the other fucking pit. Eventually we got it set up to where we hoped it would work.
Oskar made it to the other side with ease. Jak fell in the pit on the other side, but Oskar helped him out. Quinn really didn't want to try again, so I shrunk her and tied her to Bumbersnoot. We spun a little, but made it across. And, as it turned out, the wall on the other side of hall was an illusion, so we had a fairly spacious area to rest in.
***** Tarsakh 19, White Plume Mountain
Once we'd rested up, we headed into the hall beyond the door. The path to the left seemed to continue on for a bit, whereas the one on the right had a door right in front of it. Jak turned left first, and stepped on a loose stone. Nothing happened, but it made Jak paranoid enough that we decided to go in the door on the right first.
Before we opened the door we could hear water flowing in it, which made Quinn perk up. But inside was hella weird. There was a stream of water that was floating in the room, about two feet off the floor, flowing into a hole in the wall and out of another hole on the opposite wall. The water seemed to be about three feet deep and there were blind cave fish swimming in it. There were also six kayaks flanking the door, but there weren't any paddles. It looked like two people should fit in each one, but Jak and Bumbersnoot would need kayaks of their own if we decided to brave the floating water- something Oskar and I weren't too keen on doing.
Jak decided to go fishing by whacking the fish out of the stream. Quinn put them in her bag with her octopus, and apparently one of them attacked Steve, but before Quinn could intervene, her familiar killed and ate the fish.
We decided someone should go check out the stream- someone other than Oskar or me. Before we'd come up with any sort of plan, Jak jumped into the stream. Quinn gave us all water breathing, and followed him. After a few seconds, Quinn came through my talkie stone, telling us they were under attack. Oskar carried one of the kayaks over to the stream for Bumbersnoot and I, and the plan was for Oskar to grab another kayak and follow us. That ended up not working out so well.
The second Bumbersnoot and I jumped into the kayak, the fucking thing capsized, before Oskar could let go of it. The stupid thing swirled around, scraping me against the bottom, and banging poor Bumbersnoot's head around. Around that time I got another message from Quinn... she'd escaped, and we needed to turn back because there was a fucking net waiting to capture us. Fanfuckingtastic.
Jak came up behind us- we totally needed to go help them escape- and pulled Oskar off the bottom of the stupid kayak we were in. Once Oskar was free, Bumbersnoot was able to get out of the stupid kayak, and stand on the bottom of the tunnel the stream was flowing through. Bumbersnoot and I were having a hell of a time moving against the current of that little stream to get back out, so Jak ended up having to come help us. All the while, the dicks were sending canoes in the tunnel to beat on us.
After what felt like forfuckingever, we got ourselves turned around and we congregated near the exit of the stream. Jak wanted to just barrel though the net, while Quinn wanted to go through the exit. The others headed back toward the exit, but when Bumbersnoot and I went to leave, he spun out of control again. I need to make something for him to let him swim. Jak, thankfully, realized that we weren't following them, and turned out to help us, as we were spinning toward the net like a dachshund missile. I ended up tying a rope around Bumbersnoot and giving the end to Jak so he could help haul us out of that stupid tunnel.
Bumbersnoot and I were finally almost out of the tunnel- I could see the exit- when we reached a dwarf jam. Oskar had decided to brace himself at the mouth of the tunnel to take down the next kayak thrown at us. Instead of chucking a kayak at us though, we were hit with a huge ball of flotsam, I think it contained the remains of three kayaks. Another mass followed, I think it was about two kayaks worth of shards that time.
Things got hella crazy after that. As Bumbersnoot was emerging from the tunnel, he slipped, and we were caught in a waiting net- then one of the dicks waiting for us stabbed Bumbersnoot hard. I tried to cut us free, but I ended up hurting him in the process. Quinn dropped her cube of force on a couple of the guys attacking us to keep them off of us, since there were way too many of them. Jak and Oskar tried to help Bumbersnoot and I, by attacking the dicks who were stabbing my poor puppy. I was trying so hard to cut us free that I'm not sure of anything that happened in the next bit of time. Then Bumbersnoot got himself so tangled in the net that it looped around my throat and I began to choke. The others came to help us, but still no one could cut us free. That was all I knew before the lights dimmed out and I felt myself losing consciousness.
After Winry lost consciousness from lack of air, Quinn was able to cut her free, and Oskar revived the alchemist.
When I came to, I was free of the net, and most of the dicks we'd been fighting were dead, aside from five of them in Quinn's cube- which would only be up for a few more seconds. All of them fired crossbows the moment the cube dropped. Jak charged one, and I had Bumbersnoot move us close enough for me to send one of my exploding mice at them- I didn't want my baby in melee right now with as badly damaged as he was. One of them stabbed Quinn in the back, so she used her mist step to get away from him. Then Bumbersnoot and I got surrounded, and they all hurt me bad. Bumbersnoot bit one of them, but wasn't able to trip him.
I saw Oskar and Jak getting pounded on by the guys, until Oskar cast something that held them in place. Quinn and Jak were beating on another guy, while Bumbersnoot succeeded at tripping one of the guys attacking us, I dropped a beetle on him and swiped my quickrazor across his torso. The boys continued beating the crap out of the other guys, and I saw Quinn drop one of them. We kept on exchanging blows for what felt like hours, before another one dropped, and then Bumbersnoot and I killed a third. There were only two more left- and one of them seemed to be in charge. The one who seemed in charge fled into the water stream while we were distracted. Quinn managed to go after him, but by the time she got to the secret room he had vanished. While she was hunting that fucker down, the rest of us killed the remaining guy.
Since the captain guy vanished, we thought there had to be a secret door out of the hidden room, but a quick search didn't reveal anything.
Quinn was so wiped out from the ship that she pretty much slept for 24 hours straight; she didn't even mind the puke and shit that was in the room from us expelling the spider-scorpions. The rest of us went outside after that, and I tinkered with that gun I'd found, and worked on reverse engineering the stasis balls Jackass gave us. I feel like I'm close to unlocking the secrets to those balls, I'm just missing something.
When Quinn was finally rested enough to get going, we trekked our way back into the mountain to continue hunting down those weapons. The spiral staircase was more rickety than it had been before, but it thankfully didn't collapse under us. The water on the floor had gotten hella deeper and was scalding- nearly boiling. Guess the water from the room with the giant cave mantis shrimp spilled all the way out here. Quinn put the water walking spell on us again so we wouldn't be sloshing through that scalding water.
When we got to the intersection where the gynosphinx had been, the others heard running water. The path that we'd taken before, the one that led us to the mantis shrimp, had water running down it, it was completely flooded. The path to the right seemed to be dumping water into the sea somehow. We decided to take the path to the left, since it wasn't flooded with scalding water.
The water was churning hella bad in the intersection, which we still had to cross to get onto the left path. Jak jumped over with ease, Oskar almost fell over but Jak caught him- then Quinn went, and the showoff basically surfed the currents. Then it was our turn. Bumbersnoot lifted his leg and peed on the corner, making himself lighter before getting us across; I was pleasantly surprised by my puppy's method of getting us through that.
We walked through the tunnel for what felt like forever, before reaching a weird ass hallway. This one was lined with copper metal plates, and it was too steamy to see the end of. About 30 feet down the hallway it started getting uncomfortably hot- Bumbersnoot was burning me, so I turned around- the others followed us. Jak touched one of the copper plates and felt an electrical type charge, and decided he would just pry the plating off the walls. I gave him one of my crowbars, but it started getting super hot, so he dropped it in the water below us- the fucking bar sizzled and steamed like when a blacksmith puts their work in water.
Since Jak was in the least amount of metal, he stripped and decided to scout the hall for us. After a few seconds we heard him say "oh shit," and he booked it back to us. He got jumped by some fucking ghouls at the other end of the hall. The ghouls didn't follow him, which gave us time to come up with a plan. Since Bumbersnoot could run about 90 feet, I thought if we just booked it down the hallway we might be able to get through it before it burned us. Oskar didn't want to take off his armor- which, considering what was waiting for us on the other side, I couldn't blame him for that- so, I suggested shrinking him and putting him on Bumbersnoot with me would be the best way to go about this.
Oskar, Bumbersnoot, and I were almost at the end of the hallway when a ghoul reached up from under the water and grabbed Bumbersnoot. I shot it with my gun and yelled for the others as more ghouls moved toward us. Jak charged in behind us, hitting one hard enough to kill it. I couldn't contain the cry that escaped me as another ghoul hit me hella hard. Oskar jumped off Bumbersnoot and booked it to the end of the hall. Then Quinn appeared behind me and shot her chaos bolt at two of the ghouls going for Bumbersnoot and I.
Bumbersnoot tripped the ghoul in front of him and I shot it as we bolted to the end of the hall- running over Oskar on our way through. With the steam we couldn't see him- but at least we were out of that inferno of a hallway. The ghouls began moving on Oskar, trying to corner him. Suddenly the water in front of us turned into Quinn- that's such a fucking weird thing- and chaos bolted one of the ghouls in the room with us. I felt my flesh knit back together as Oskar touched my arm and healed me- then his spirit weapon appeared and he smacked a ghoul with it.
Bumbersnoot and I came to Oskar's aid, by tripping and shooting one of the ghouls who was attacking him. I saw Quinn shoot one of the ghouls in the infernal hallway, and Jak pummeled one ghoul who was a fucking archer, but instead of going down, and amulet around his neck flashed and it stayed up. Oskar muttered a prayer, that I think was supposed to dust the ghouls, but all of their necklaces flashed and nothing happened, so he killed one with his spirit weapon.
Thankfully the ghouls seemed to be having trouble hitting us, because they hit hella hard. Bumbersnoot tripped another one and I disintegrated its head with my gun. I like that thing. There was only one left now- the fucking archer. I cried out in pain as one of its arrows sunk into me. It was close enough for Bumbersnoot to bite and trip it- when he came up from his attack one of its legs was in his mouth- my puppy had ripped it off to protect me. Jak jumped on the fallen ghoul and beat the hell out of it to make sure it was definitely dead... or re-dead I guess?
After that nasty fight we needed a brief rest. There was a staircase in the room that led to a landing we could rest on without being stuck in the water, and its door was so swollen with water that it wouldn't open, so we thought we should be somewhat safe. When our rest was over Jak and Oskar slammed the door open, and we discovered the hell of a hallway that was waiting for us on the other side. The path in front of us was broken up by a five foot wide pit that had metal glinting in the bottom. The floor beyond the pit had a silvery sheen to it, like it was over waxed or something, and beyond that we could just make out another pit. This was going to be just fanfuckingtastic.
Jak decided to jump over the pit, but instead he tripped and fell into it instead. It was full of rusty razors. Oskar tossed a rope down to him, and Bumbersnoot and Quinn went to help him pull Jak up. That didn't work so well... Bumbersnoot knocked Quinn over in his attempts to help. I set up my lift system and hauled Jak out of there- he was in seriously bad shape and had to get healed by Oskar as soon as we got him out of the pit. I suggested we take a brief rest so that Oskar could learn that air bridge spell again to let us cross, but since it wouldn't quite get us all the way across, we'd have Quinn take it and misty step the rest of the way. I would build a zip line and have her take it over there for us to get over.
About 20 minutes into this break we heard a splash in the water in the room we'd fought the ghouls in, and Jak saw ripples in the middle of the room. I set my device down and hopped on Bumbersnoot to prepare, while Quinn shot lightning from her trident... and somehow hit herself with one of the bolts. The four of use waited for something to appear, and hoped we wouldn't have to disrupt Oskar's meditation for whatever was coming. It took a few seconds for an ogre to come around the corner and swing at Jak. We all went for it, and aside from it dodging my beetle, we all hit. Bumbersnoot was able to trip the damn thing.
Two more ogres came around the corner as the one Bumbersnoot tripped stood up and swung at him- missing, thankfully. The other two tossed javelins at us, and missed horribly. Jak caved in the skull of the one in front of us, and I tossed an exploding mouse at the two in the water. One of them didn't appreciate that much and ran up too punch me, which got him killed by Critical Bumbersnoot. The final ogre reached past me to grab at Quinn, getting it hit by Jak and Bumbersnoot... I missed and accidentally shot Jak instead. Critical Bumbersnoot finished it off.
I got back to work on the zip line while Jak and Quinn went to look for loot. They didn't look long though, apparently the fucking ogres had dropped bear traps in the water, and Quinn got herself stuck in one. After giving up on that, Jak hauled one of the ogre corpses into the pit to give us a macabre stepping stone.
Once Oskar had gotten that spell from Moradin he cast it, and nothing happened. We tested a couple other spells to see if it was an anti-magic area, but those went off without issue. Jak hauled one of the ogre corpses into the pit, and decided to toss the others in there to give us a pseudo bridge. After tossing one in, Jak decided to haul the other three in. We tied the corpses to Bumbersnoot one at a time, helping Oskar and Jak to lower them into the pit. The second one was easy, but when we got to the third and final one, Jak slipped, and it hit the other two corpses too hard, causing them all to bounce out of the pit.
All three of them slide across the stretch of hallway and fell right into the pit on the side. That floor seemed to be much slicker than we'd thought, so to test it, Quinn pulled a ball out of her bag of tricks, which turned into a goat. The poor goat flailed and squirmed as it slid across the floor and vanished on the other side. After that, Oskar tried his air bridge again, and it failed again.
Since the floor seemed to have absolutely no friction to it, I decided to whip up something that might help us stick to the floor. I made these little glove/booty sets of us with a sticky goo on them that would hopefully do the trick. Quinn volunteered to be the one to test my goo, and moved to attempt to climb across the hall. As she moved to climb over the pit directly in front of us, Quinn slipped and slid across the floor into the other pit. I wasn't sure if my bags had failed or if they weren't able to grab because she was flailing around too much for them to truly hit the floor as she slid.
To test that theory, I stuck a rock in one of my goo bags and tossed it over the pit; it swirled around the floor as it went straight in. Fanfuckingtastic. We couldn't get across this stupid thing with magic, my alchemy wasn't working, and now Quinn was stuck on the other side, and none of us could get to her to help. Oskar and Jak hoped she had a good grip on the zip line she was supposed to be setting up over there, and they yanked it to try to get her out of the pit.
Apparently Quinn didn't have a good grip on it, because when they yanked on it, the only thing attached to it was the goo gloves. Jak tossed it back to her, hoping it would reach her. It took a few tries before the boys managed to pull Quinn out of that pit... and she slide head first into the pit in front of us.
After that fiasco, that left Quinn badly injured, we decided to try to build a wedge that would hopefully catch us before we slid into the stupid pit. We took down the wooden door to this room and attached three bears traps to it, along with some other miscellaneous stuff I had. We attached lines to it to control where it ended up on the other side... and poor Quinn wasn't able to hold her grip, she went sliding across the hall again, landing in the other fucking pit. Eventually we got it set up to where we hoped it would work.
Oskar made it to the other side with ease. Jak fell in the pit on the other side, but Oskar helped him out. Quinn really didn't want to try again, so I shrunk her and tied her to Bumbersnoot. We spun a little, but made it across. And, as it turned out, the wall on the other side of hall was an illusion, so we had a fairly spacious area to rest in.
***** Tarsakh 19, White Plume Mountain
Once we'd rested up, we headed into the hall beyond the door. The path to the left seemed to continue on for a bit, whereas the one on the right had a door right in front of it. Jak turned left first, and stepped on a loose stone. Nothing happened, but it made Jak paranoid enough that we decided to go in the door on the right first.
Before we opened the door we could hear water flowing in it, which made Quinn perk up. But inside was hella weird. There was a stream of water that was floating in the room, about two feet off the floor, flowing into a hole in the wall and out of another hole on the opposite wall. The water seemed to be about three feet deep and there were blind cave fish swimming in it. There were also six kayaks flanking the door, but there weren't any paddles. It looked like two people should fit in each one, but Jak and Bumbersnoot would need kayaks of their own if we decided to brave the floating water- something Oskar and I weren't too keen on doing.
Jak decided to go fishing by whacking the fish out of the stream. Quinn put them in her bag with her octopus, and apparently one of them attacked Steve, but before Quinn could intervene, her familiar killed and ate the fish.
We decided someone should go check out the stream- someone other than Oskar or me. Before we'd come up with any sort of plan, Jak jumped into the stream. Quinn gave us all water breathing, and followed him. After a few seconds, Quinn came through my talkie stone, telling us they were under attack. Oskar carried one of the kayaks over to the stream for Bumbersnoot and I, and the plan was for Oskar to grab another kayak and follow us. That ended up not working out so well.
The second Bumbersnoot and I jumped into the kayak, the fucking thing capsized, before Oskar could let go of it. The stupid thing swirled around, scraping me against the bottom, and banging poor Bumbersnoot's head around. Around that time I got another message from Quinn... she'd escaped, and we needed to turn back because there was a fucking net waiting to capture us. Fanfuckingtastic.
Jak came up behind us- we totally needed to go help them escape- and pulled Oskar off the bottom of the stupid kayak we were in. Once Oskar was free, Bumbersnoot was able to get out of the stupid kayak, and stand on the bottom of the tunnel the stream was flowing through. Bumbersnoot and I were having a hell of a time moving against the current of that little stream to get back out, so Jak ended up having to come help us. All the while, the dicks were sending canoes in the tunnel to beat on us.
After what felt like forfuckingever, we got ourselves turned around and we congregated near the exit of the stream. Jak wanted to just barrel though the net, while Quinn wanted to go through the exit. The others headed back toward the exit, but when Bumbersnoot and I went to leave, he spun out of control again. I need to make something for him to let him swim. Jak, thankfully, realized that we weren't following them, and turned out to help us, as we were spinning toward the net like a dachshund missile. I ended up tying a rope around Bumbersnoot and giving the end to Jak so he could help haul us out of that stupid tunnel.
Bumbersnoot and I were finally almost out of the tunnel- I could see the exit- when we reached a dwarf jam. Oskar had decided to brace himself at the mouth of the tunnel to take down the next kayak thrown at us. Instead of chucking a kayak at us though, we were hit with a huge ball of flotsam, I think it contained the remains of three kayaks. Another mass followed, I think it was about two kayaks worth of shards that time.
Things got hella crazy after that. As Bumbersnoot was emerging from the tunnel, he slipped, and we were caught in a waiting net- then one of the dicks waiting for us stabbed Bumbersnoot hard. I tried to cut us free, but I ended up hurting him in the process. Quinn dropped her cube of force on a couple of the guys attacking us to keep them off of us, since there were way too many of them. Jak and Oskar tried to help Bumbersnoot and I, by attacking the dicks who were stabbing my poor puppy. I was trying so hard to cut us free that I'm not sure of anything that happened in the next bit of time. Then Bumbersnoot got himself so tangled in the net that it looped around my throat and I began to choke. The others came to help us, but still no one could cut us free. That was all I knew before the lights dimmed out and I felt myself losing consciousness.
After Winry lost consciousness from lack of air, Quinn was able to cut her free, and Oskar revived the alchemist.
When I came to, I was free of the net, and most of the dicks we'd been fighting were dead, aside from five of them in Quinn's cube- which would only be up for a few more seconds. All of them fired crossbows the moment the cube dropped. Jak charged one, and I had Bumbersnoot move us close enough for me to send one of my exploding mice at them- I didn't want my baby in melee right now with as badly damaged as he was. One of them stabbed Quinn in the back, so she used her mist step to get away from him. Then Bumbersnoot and I got surrounded, and they all hurt me bad. Bumbersnoot bit one of them, but wasn't able to trip him.
I saw Oskar and Jak getting pounded on by the guys, until Oskar cast something that held them in place. Quinn and Jak were beating on another guy, while Bumbersnoot succeeded at tripping one of the guys attacking us, I dropped a beetle on him and swiped my quickrazor across his torso. The boys continued beating the crap out of the other guys, and I saw Quinn drop one of them. We kept on exchanging blows for what felt like hours, before another one dropped, and then Bumbersnoot and I killed a third. There were only two more left- and one of them seemed to be in charge. The one who seemed in charge fled into the water stream while we were distracted. Quinn managed to go after him, but by the time she got to the secret room he had vanished. While she was hunting that fucker down, the rest of us killed the remaining guy.
Since the captain guy vanished, we thought there had to be a secret door out of the hidden room, but a quick search didn't reveal anything.
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| Map from "Tales from the Yawning Portal" by Wizards of the Coast |
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