Bean Troubles
Dramatis Personae:
Lady Claire Thundersword-Petunia, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halftaur Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and mother of the Petunia clan; champion of the Living Dungeon
Astrid Rockham, the Longstrider Shifter Evocation Wizard
Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Familiar
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut astral projected in to help
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut astral projected in to help
Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds
Arwenel, the Elf Scholar
Alfalfa Cover Petunia, the Centling legged "Crocling" Wererat Fighter, formerly Rosebud's other half who can't take anything seriously and thinks he's the greatest at everything
Comrades we have lost:
Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent
Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald
Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape
Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away
Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding
Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned
Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care
Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell
Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll
Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll
Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla attacked the party at a gateway they found
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville attacked the party at a gateway they found
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass
Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom
Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies
Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut- stayed in Blingdenstone
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone
Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone
Kazul, the Copper Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget was restored to life by her god- MIA after Astrid's wish
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout- MIA after Astrid's wish
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later- MIA after Astrid's wish, believed to be trapped in the Abyss
Friendly Fire: 270
Party members killed: 24
Overall party members lost: 40
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.
***** Nightal 5, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Neverwinter
Twelve shriekers appeared around Geophry, as two huge geysers erupted- one of tea, the other of beer. A statue of me and a statue of Momma appeared and each started berating us as twenty-two pink frogs appeared; they began turning into things as they bounced around. Then the ground began to rumble a, making Lith, Geophry, Flimflam, and Alfie fall over as a massive tree appeared, destroying the statue of me; it was a treant that had eyes only for Alfie.
Rosebud crashed into the statue of Momma, destroying it for lying about him. Momma shot a beam of bluish energy at the treant, and Lith lashed out with her whip. Alfie backed away from the treant, and two frogs turned into displacer beasts, one scored hits on Alfie and Rosebud, while the other completely missed Lith. This room was quickly filling with all sorts of peculiar beasts. Alfie tossed out a fireball- I don't know where he got that ability- and killed several of the beasts, though the flames also caused a bunch more frogs to change. Flimflam tossed a lightning bolt at the treant, killing it and a bunch of other beasts, then he followed up with a double fireball, which killed everything except the mimic.
Lith and Flimflam began casting ice spells to try to put out the fire he'd started, when we heard an otherworldly scream from the shop above, that was quickly silenced. The mimic was full of gold, and we took it to the room below us to sort out later. The room was very small and cramped, so Momma shrunk Geophry and Flimflam to make room; though it probably would have made more sense to shrink Rosebud.
In Blingdenstone, Bahamut came to Mezzem and told her that Kazul was in trouble. He offered her the ability to astral project to the party to warn them, which she accepted. Mezzem appeared in the burning room above the party, and tripped, landing face-first at Lily's feet in the room below.
Suddenly, out of nowhere a silvery, translucent Mezzem was lying at Lily's feet. Apparently this day was not done being strange. Mezzem announced to us that Not-Kazul was in trouble, she was trapped in the Abyss. So that's what happened to her, oh well. I told Mezzem we were going there to find Mithrilye anyways, so if we found Not-Kazul, we'd help her probably. I honestly did not care where Not-Kazul was, even if it was the Abyss. Mezzem seemed insistent that we leave for the Abyss right away, but we told her we had to go kill the mummy and finish buying supplies first. I don't know why she cared so much, I don't think they interacted much while we were in Blingdenstone. Maybe Bahamut was pressuring her to go save Not-Kazul.
Lily realized that the sandstone I was standing on sounded hollow beneath my feet, but there wasn't room for me to move to inspect it, so Rosebud and Lith went into the endless maze to make some room. Mezzem used a crowbar to pry the stone loose, and underneath was a staircase leading down.
We went down the stairs, and entered another 10x10 room, that was only 5 feet tall, making impossible for most of us to stand upright. The air in the room was damp too, which seemed odd for an ancient mummy tomb. Momma shrank all of us so we'd fit in the stupid room, and Astrid announced one of the walls was a trap. It wasn't... so while Momma yelled at her for being an idiot, Rosebud began pounding on the very obvious doorway.
When Rosebud had finished bashing the door in, we were standing before a long, dark hallway. As we began moving down the hall, Rosebud heard the sound of Alfie eating something, and discovered there were poisonous snakes swarming out of the walls. They went for Momma and I, so while Rosebud began swinging at the ones on Momma, Alfie began slurping down the snakes on me as if they were noodles. Astrid sent a bolt of flame at the ones on me, and I was able to finish them off. Momma produced a flute that seemed to piss off the snakes- though I doubt that was the intention. Mezzem thought it would be a good idea to hit Momma with her pillar of radiance to hit the snakes, but she hit Momma in the process. Alfie began slurping down the snakes on Momma, and Astrid finished them off with another bolt of fire.
Eventually we came upon another staircase, and at the bottom of it the air felt even damper; but this room was a little bit larger. In this room were two enormous statues of vipers, that were disturbingly lifelike; almost as if they were two actual vipers that had been dipped in gold. Rosebud grabbed one of the statues and tried to wiggle it, but it wouldn't budge. Momma told him that they were full of some sort of transmutation magic and all of us needed to leave them the Hells alone.
There were a couple of doors in the viper room, so Rosebud and I each broke one of them down; they both led to hallways with dead ends. We both called out that we were looking for potential doorways when Momma called out to us.
While Rosebud and Claire had been searching for the way to go, the snakes began to glow red. They animated and lunged forward. Lily cried out to Claire and Rosebud that the snakes were active. Then he set off a lightning bolt that hit both of the snakes, turning them into two piles of molten gold and charred viper. As Rosebud turned around to aid his Momma, he set off a trap in the hallway, and then Lily stepped into the hallway to stop him, setting off a dart trap.
Astrid came into my hallway, and told me that the snakes had been disposed of. She found a pressure plate in the hall, and hit it with her spectral hand spell- the little one, not the giant purple evil. Apparently she wasn't far enough away when she pushed it though, she cried out in pain and was suddenly blinded and deafened. Momma came over to our hall and turned that trap off while Mezzem fixed Astrid.
When we went back into the snake room Rosebud was trying to harvest the liquid gold, splashing it around everywhere. Geophry jumped in it and began leaving little gold footprints everywhere, giggling wildly. Then Alfie snapped his jaws in the gold, giving himself gold plated teeth. My brothers are insane... Chairy called our "gold ball fight!" and started chucking gold balls and Rosebud and I. Thankfully Momma came out of the hallway after that, putting an end to that. He had found the way out in the hallway Rosebud had been in. All the while Mezzem kept reminding us that Not-Kazul was in trouble, as if she expected us to leave the mummy tomb and just pop over to the Abyss straight away.
.
Rosebud broke down the doorway that Momma had found, and the other side was hazy, almost like we were looking at an illusion; he kept swinging and hit Momma. Rosebud was then charmed by a pair of glowing eyes on the other side of the doorway. Mezzem tried to hold Rosebud with magic, but he broke out of the hold and swung at Momma again, his intent clear. Shit. Astrid tried to do something to counter the charm, but I don't think it worked. Lith tried to turn Rosebud into something else, which also didn't work, but Momma managed to succeed in breaking the charm. It was weird that Rosebud overcame those magics, he normally can't break out of spells like the hold Mezzem used.
My brother turned to attack whatever was on the other side of the doorway, and stopped short- I think it was trying to charm him again, but he seemed to push through. The thing that charmed him was a skeletal snake, that began to slither into the room. Rosebud hacked at it and I finished the beast off, but just before it died it said "master will devour your souls for disturbing his rest." That's a little creepy.
Flimflam and Geophry were charmed by something lurking in the next room, and Flimflam followed his instruction to attack. Flimflam tossed two lightning bolts down the hallway, hitting everyone except me, and then both he and Chairy vanished. Lith was so badly burned that she collapsed, and Astrid looked like she was about to. Something must have charmed those little shits too. Rosebud and I hurried into the room and began working on breaking down the walls.
As Flimflam kept throwing spells at us, I frantically beat on the section of wall right in front of me. Astrid saw through the illusory wall that Rosebud was working on, and discovered a bone naga. This seemed to help Rosebud realize it wasn't a real wall, because he began beating on the naga right after- with Astrid finishing it off.
Mezzem and Lily could see Flimflam and Geophry, and Lith had a pretty good idea of where they were at. The kobold sent her spirit blade after Flimflam, right before he used a Prismatic Spray that did nasty damage to Claire and Lith, hurt Rosebud a little, and the bulk of the damage hit Lily. Alfie saw this as an opportunity to attack Lily and ran over to him, grabbing his leg and attempting to gnaw on it, but he couldn't get a good enough grip to actually do anything. Lith charmed Alfie to make him stop chewing on Lily and sit down like a good little boy.
Lily was quickly turning to stone from Flimflam's spray, and there was nothing Mezzem could do to help him until he was solid. Geophry and Flimflam reappeared, and Geophry dropped a vitriolic sphere at Astrid's feet, badly injuring both her and Lith. Flimflam followed up with double lightning bolts to Rosebud and Astrid, and Astrid dropped unconscious.
I was still working on breaking down that wall- which would have been so much easier if I still had my Rod- when suddenly a snake head darted through it and snapped at me. At that moment, I realized that the wall I'd been working so hard to break down was a fucking illusion. I could have been protecting my little adopted family all this time, but instead I was beating on nothing. I could have kicked myself. Instead, I swung at the snake, and stumbled, missing it completely.
Mezzem attempted to Banish the boys, but Flimflam's ioun stone negated her spell, keeping the little terrors there. Lith grabbed one of Lily's beads of force from his pocket, since he wasn't completely stone yet, and hurled it at Flimflam and Geophry; trapping them and Astrid, who had been too close to them. Astrid dropped a fireball in the sphere, where they shouldn't be able to avoid it- but somehow Flimflam was completely untouched. Whatever had been keeping them charmed was gone, but the little monsters decided to retaliate against Astrid anyway. Between the two of them Astrid was down again.
I looked into the eyes of the snake thing in the room, and felt compelled to wait beside it for the opportune moment to attack someone. That opportunity presented itself right away, when Rosebud came crashing in through the wall- a real wall this time. Turns out there was a little hallway connecting this room to the one he had been in. I swung at my adoptive brother and got in a good hit. Then he said "I'm telling Momma," and ran away from me. Coward.
Lily was finally completely stone, so Mezzem fixed him; he was seething with rage at Flimflam and Geophry for what they'd done. He told both of them that if they ever did anything like that again, he would turn them into paste. Somehow Alfie didn't see his mother's rage as a sign that he shouldn't try to gnaw on him again, and bolted into for another leg chomp. Lily turned his head slowly toward the crocling, and gave him a look that made his blood freeze. Alfie wet himself and ran out of the room in sheer terror at the sight of the frozen rage in his mother's eyes.
Hearing that Claire had been charmed, Lith lashed out with her whip at the naga that was keeping Claire charmed, and broke its concentration- Claire's mind was her own again. My head suddenly cleared and I realized what I'd just done. Shit. The snake thing stared at me again, but nothing happened; from the shudder I heard from Lith, I think it tried the same trick on her. With its failure, the snake thingy told us that our souls were forfeit, and its master would devour us all. I'm pretty sure another dead snake thing said the same thing to us; they really need more diverse material, the same threat over and over is rather boring. Before I could do anything, Rosebud charged into the room and went crazy smashing the thing, until it was more dust than anything.
I heard that Geophry attacked Astrid after he was no longer charmed, and confronted the little shit about it. He of course claimed that he was still under a charm; when I pointed out that he probably was trying to kill Astrid to steal her ring, he denied it, shrieking at me in that obnoxious, shrill little voice of his. Before our argument really got anywhere, Momma cast something that silenced us, and then something to calm us down. Feeling better, I looked around and realized Alfie was gone, though Momma didn't say where he'd vanished to.
Momma found a section of wall in that odd little hallway that seemed like it was supposed to slide. Rosebud pushed it open, and we were hit with a gust of damp air before we could see the staircase he'd revealed. Mezzem and I were the last ones in line, but before we could go down, the doorway vanished. I began hacking at it, but without my Rod I didn't have any blunt weapons. Mezzem used the spell that lets her move stone around, but it didn't get us too far, since the wall was apparently over five feet thick- which is as much as she can do at a time. She pulled out her mace, and I grabbed it since I am much stronger than the priestess.
The others were working their way down the stairs, when suddenly the floor fell out from under them, making everyone fall into a puddle of acid. They all made it out of the pool, and found a doorway; Lily opened it and a pair of fists came out, hitting Rosebud. The halftaur began exchanging blows with the unseen enemy. There was a smokey, hazy area of the room that had some charred bodies in it, and Geophry charged over there to see what was happening, while Lith attempted to put the fire out.
I eventually broke through the stupid wall, and began going down the stairs- which then came out from under me and I tumbled into a pool of acid. Somehow Mezzem didn't fall on her way down though, so she was able to stay on the stairs and out of the fucking acid. Across the acid pool I saw Rosebud trading blows with a small mummy, which he of course dropped quickly. Momma was dragging some smoldering corpses over to the acid pit, and at the sight of Mezzem and I, he told Chairy to come get us. I fell off and into the pool of acid- which I think he may have nudged me a little, the little shit seems to have it in for me. Momma used a levitation spell to get me out of the acid, and helped me get the acid off.
Rosebud began attacking the door on the other side of the room, and when that didn't seem to open it, he pulled on the lever-style handle... which opened it. On the other side was an antechamber of sorts with more doors. My brother picked one and kicked it open, revealing a room of large stone bleachers, that led to a path with a large reptilian creature attached to chains and in a pit. Lord Fury, were we facing a dragon mummy? That didn't sound good.
We began to walk down these bleachers when everything suddenly shuddered, and the bleachers fell away; we were now falling down a thirty or so foot shaft toward something that made an unnerving, guttural growl. We could see a figure through the tunnel, and then everything burned. Lith and Astrid were down by the time the flames had cleared. Shit.
Rosebud, of course, charged the figure, and it moved to bite him; then it said something none of us could understand, and a wave of rippling black energy emanated from it. Two of the sarcophagi in the room fell over and mummies emerged. As I began exchanging blows with the mummies, I realized I couldn't heal- not even my fucking potions were working. Rosebud had moved to one of the sarcophagi and was trying to hold it closed so we wouldn't be overwhelmed by the underlings- when that failed he tossed the lid aside and destroyed that mummy. Two of the mummies went for the unconscious Lith and Astrid, and breathed water into their lungs. Thankfully Mezzem was able to revive them somehow, I guess whatever was preventing me from healing was gone, or she got around it somehow. The mummies didn't seem to like her helping, and one of them grabbed her and breathed water at her- I retaliated with a stab.
Astrid realized when she got up that she was blind, but thankfully she was able to see through Calipso's eyes. We continued to exchange blows with the little mummies for a few more breaths, while Momma kept the dragon busy, and finally there was only the big guy left. Momma used that mist step thing to get right above the dragon, and dropped a lightning bolt on it, but it didn't seem to do as much as it should have to it.
Lith sent a couple bolts of bluish energy at it, as it struck me. Flimflam sent ice breath at it, and Astrid tried something that would drain the water from its body- which it barely seemed to resist. It spewed acid at me and I began stabbing the hell out of it. Momma sent another lightning bolt at it, and it somehow dodged, moving far more nimbly than a creature of its size and undeath should have been able to. Flimflam grabbed my javelin and tried to use a spell to hurl it, but something in his odd magics prevented that from working.
As Astrid screamed- literally- at the dragon it spewed more of its acid breath at me. I hate acid. Poor Lith was swimming in acid at this point. I swung in with my sword, and managed to stab it up through the brain, killing it!
The loot was on a little island, surrounded by more of the stupid acid. Geophry tried to steal Astrid's portable hole, but I saw him and told Momma. Astrid said he could borrow it to get the items, but he had to give it back after- of course the little monster was pissed about that. When he brought back the loot he realized that there were no canopic jars in it, which meant they were stashed elsewhere, and apparently if we didn't destroy those the mummy could come back. Momma thought it was in the giant statue in the room, but when he opened that up all that came out was a swarm of insects- which he hurriedly dispelled.
There were some stepping stones in the acid pool, and Momma decided that was the only other place they could be. Geophry volunteered, and I put some acid resistant oil on him, then Momma used a spell to make him even more resistant. It took him a minute, but eventually he emerged unscathed from the acid pool, with five jars; Astrid disintegrated them.
Mezzem started to vanish and called out a final reminder that Not-Kazul was in trouble, though we still didn't care.
*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.
Twelve shriekers appeared around Geophry, as two huge geysers erupted- one of tea, the other of beer. A statue of me and a statue of Momma appeared and each started berating us as twenty-two pink frogs appeared; they began turning into things as they bounced around. Then the ground began to rumble a, making Lith, Geophry, Flimflam, and Alfie fall over as a massive tree appeared, destroying the statue of me; it was a treant that had eyes only for Alfie.
Rosebud crashed into the statue of Momma, destroying it for lying about him. Momma shot a beam of bluish energy at the treant, and Lith lashed out with her whip. Alfie backed away from the treant, and two frogs turned into displacer beasts, one scored hits on Alfie and Rosebud, while the other completely missed Lith. This room was quickly filling with all sorts of peculiar beasts. Alfie tossed out a fireball- I don't know where he got that ability- and killed several of the beasts, though the flames also caused a bunch more frogs to change. Flimflam tossed a lightning bolt at the treant, killing it and a bunch of other beasts, then he followed up with a double fireball, which killed everything except the mimic.
Lith and Flimflam began casting ice spells to try to put out the fire he'd started, when we heard an otherworldly scream from the shop above, that was quickly silenced. The mimic was full of gold, and we took it to the room below us to sort out later. The room was very small and cramped, so Momma shrunk Geophry and Flimflam to make room; though it probably would have made more sense to shrink Rosebud.
In Blingdenstone, Bahamut came to Mezzem and told her that Kazul was in trouble. He offered her the ability to astral project to the party to warn them, which she accepted. Mezzem appeared in the burning room above the party, and tripped, landing face-first at Lily's feet in the room below.
Suddenly, out of nowhere a silvery, translucent Mezzem was lying at Lily's feet. Apparently this day was not done being strange. Mezzem announced to us that Not-Kazul was in trouble, she was trapped in the Abyss. So that's what happened to her, oh well. I told Mezzem we were going there to find Mithrilye anyways, so if we found Not-Kazul, we'd help her probably. I honestly did not care where Not-Kazul was, even if it was the Abyss. Mezzem seemed insistent that we leave for the Abyss right away, but we told her we had to go kill the mummy and finish buying supplies first. I don't know why she cared so much, I don't think they interacted much while we were in Blingdenstone. Maybe Bahamut was pressuring her to go save Not-Kazul.
Lily realized that the sandstone I was standing on sounded hollow beneath my feet, but there wasn't room for me to move to inspect it, so Rosebud and Lith went into the endless maze to make some room. Mezzem used a crowbar to pry the stone loose, and underneath was a staircase leading down.
We went down the stairs, and entered another 10x10 room, that was only 5 feet tall, making impossible for most of us to stand upright. The air in the room was damp too, which seemed odd for an ancient mummy tomb. Momma shrank all of us so we'd fit in the stupid room, and Astrid announced one of the walls was a trap. It wasn't... so while Momma yelled at her for being an idiot, Rosebud began pounding on the very obvious doorway.
When Rosebud had finished bashing the door in, we were standing before a long, dark hallway. As we began moving down the hall, Rosebud heard the sound of Alfie eating something, and discovered there were poisonous snakes swarming out of the walls. They went for Momma and I, so while Rosebud began swinging at the ones on Momma, Alfie began slurping down the snakes on me as if they were noodles. Astrid sent a bolt of flame at the ones on me, and I was able to finish them off. Momma produced a flute that seemed to piss off the snakes- though I doubt that was the intention. Mezzem thought it would be a good idea to hit Momma with her pillar of radiance to hit the snakes, but she hit Momma in the process. Alfie began slurping down the snakes on Momma, and Astrid finished them off with another bolt of fire.
Eventually we came upon another staircase, and at the bottom of it the air felt even damper; but this room was a little bit larger. In this room were two enormous statues of vipers, that were disturbingly lifelike; almost as if they were two actual vipers that had been dipped in gold. Rosebud grabbed one of the statues and tried to wiggle it, but it wouldn't budge. Momma told him that they were full of some sort of transmutation magic and all of us needed to leave them the Hells alone.
There were a couple of doors in the viper room, so Rosebud and I each broke one of them down; they both led to hallways with dead ends. We both called out that we were looking for potential doorways when Momma called out to us.
While Rosebud and Claire had been searching for the way to go, the snakes began to glow red. They animated and lunged forward. Lily cried out to Claire and Rosebud that the snakes were active. Then he set off a lightning bolt that hit both of the snakes, turning them into two piles of molten gold and charred viper. As Rosebud turned around to aid his Momma, he set off a trap in the hallway, and then Lily stepped into the hallway to stop him, setting off a dart trap.
Astrid came into my hallway, and told me that the snakes had been disposed of. She found a pressure plate in the hall, and hit it with her spectral hand spell- the little one, not the giant purple evil. Apparently she wasn't far enough away when she pushed it though, she cried out in pain and was suddenly blinded and deafened. Momma came over to our hall and turned that trap off while Mezzem fixed Astrid.
When we went back into the snake room Rosebud was trying to harvest the liquid gold, splashing it around everywhere. Geophry jumped in it and began leaving little gold footprints everywhere, giggling wildly. Then Alfie snapped his jaws in the gold, giving himself gold plated teeth. My brothers are insane... Chairy called our "gold ball fight!" and started chucking gold balls and Rosebud and I. Thankfully Momma came out of the hallway after that, putting an end to that. He had found the way out in the hallway Rosebud had been in. All the while Mezzem kept reminding us that Not-Kazul was in trouble, as if she expected us to leave the mummy tomb and just pop over to the Abyss straight away.
.
Rosebud broke down the doorway that Momma had found, and the other side was hazy, almost like we were looking at an illusion; he kept swinging and hit Momma. Rosebud was then charmed by a pair of glowing eyes on the other side of the doorway. Mezzem tried to hold Rosebud with magic, but he broke out of the hold and swung at Momma again, his intent clear. Shit. Astrid tried to do something to counter the charm, but I don't think it worked. Lith tried to turn Rosebud into something else, which also didn't work, but Momma managed to succeed in breaking the charm. It was weird that Rosebud overcame those magics, he normally can't break out of spells like the hold Mezzem used.
My brother turned to attack whatever was on the other side of the doorway, and stopped short- I think it was trying to charm him again, but he seemed to push through. The thing that charmed him was a skeletal snake, that began to slither into the room. Rosebud hacked at it and I finished the beast off, but just before it died it said "master will devour your souls for disturbing his rest." That's a little creepy.
Flimflam and Geophry were charmed by something lurking in the next room, and Flimflam followed his instruction to attack. Flimflam tossed two lightning bolts down the hallway, hitting everyone except me, and then both he and Chairy vanished. Lith was so badly burned that she collapsed, and Astrid looked like she was about to. Something must have charmed those little shits too. Rosebud and I hurried into the room and began working on breaking down the walls.
As Flimflam kept throwing spells at us, I frantically beat on the section of wall right in front of me. Astrid saw through the illusory wall that Rosebud was working on, and discovered a bone naga. This seemed to help Rosebud realize it wasn't a real wall, because he began beating on the naga right after- with Astrid finishing it off.
Mezzem and Lily could see Flimflam and Geophry, and Lith had a pretty good idea of where they were at. The kobold sent her spirit blade after Flimflam, right before he used a Prismatic Spray that did nasty damage to Claire and Lith, hurt Rosebud a little, and the bulk of the damage hit Lily. Alfie saw this as an opportunity to attack Lily and ran over to him, grabbing his leg and attempting to gnaw on it, but he couldn't get a good enough grip to actually do anything. Lith charmed Alfie to make him stop chewing on Lily and sit down like a good little boy.
Lily was quickly turning to stone from Flimflam's spray, and there was nothing Mezzem could do to help him until he was solid. Geophry and Flimflam reappeared, and Geophry dropped a vitriolic sphere at Astrid's feet, badly injuring both her and Lith. Flimflam followed up with double lightning bolts to Rosebud and Astrid, and Astrid dropped unconscious.
I was still working on breaking down that wall- which would have been so much easier if I still had my Rod- when suddenly a snake head darted through it and snapped at me. At that moment, I realized that the wall I'd been working so hard to break down was a fucking illusion. I could have been protecting my little adopted family all this time, but instead I was beating on nothing. I could have kicked myself. Instead, I swung at the snake, and stumbled, missing it completely.
Mezzem attempted to Banish the boys, but Flimflam's ioun stone negated her spell, keeping the little terrors there. Lith grabbed one of Lily's beads of force from his pocket, since he wasn't completely stone yet, and hurled it at Flimflam and Geophry; trapping them and Astrid, who had been too close to them. Astrid dropped a fireball in the sphere, where they shouldn't be able to avoid it- but somehow Flimflam was completely untouched. Whatever had been keeping them charmed was gone, but the little monsters decided to retaliate against Astrid anyway. Between the two of them Astrid was down again.
I looked into the eyes of the snake thing in the room, and felt compelled to wait beside it for the opportune moment to attack someone. That opportunity presented itself right away, when Rosebud came crashing in through the wall- a real wall this time. Turns out there was a little hallway connecting this room to the one he had been in. I swung at my adoptive brother and got in a good hit. Then he said "I'm telling Momma," and ran away from me. Coward.
Lily was finally completely stone, so Mezzem fixed him; he was seething with rage at Flimflam and Geophry for what they'd done. He told both of them that if they ever did anything like that again, he would turn them into paste. Somehow Alfie didn't see his mother's rage as a sign that he shouldn't try to gnaw on him again, and bolted into for another leg chomp. Lily turned his head slowly toward the crocling, and gave him a look that made his blood freeze. Alfie wet himself and ran out of the room in sheer terror at the sight of the frozen rage in his mother's eyes.
Hearing that Claire had been charmed, Lith lashed out with her whip at the naga that was keeping Claire charmed, and broke its concentration- Claire's mind was her own again. My head suddenly cleared and I realized what I'd just done. Shit. The snake thing stared at me again, but nothing happened; from the shudder I heard from Lith, I think it tried the same trick on her. With its failure, the snake thingy told us that our souls were forfeit, and its master would devour us all. I'm pretty sure another dead snake thing said the same thing to us; they really need more diverse material, the same threat over and over is rather boring. Before I could do anything, Rosebud charged into the room and went crazy smashing the thing, until it was more dust than anything.
I heard that Geophry attacked Astrid after he was no longer charmed, and confronted the little shit about it. He of course claimed that he was still under a charm; when I pointed out that he probably was trying to kill Astrid to steal her ring, he denied it, shrieking at me in that obnoxious, shrill little voice of his. Before our argument really got anywhere, Momma cast something that silenced us, and then something to calm us down. Feeling better, I looked around and realized Alfie was gone, though Momma didn't say where he'd vanished to.
Momma found a section of wall in that odd little hallway that seemed like it was supposed to slide. Rosebud pushed it open, and we were hit with a gust of damp air before we could see the staircase he'd revealed. Mezzem and I were the last ones in line, but before we could go down, the doorway vanished. I began hacking at it, but without my Rod I didn't have any blunt weapons. Mezzem used the spell that lets her move stone around, but it didn't get us too far, since the wall was apparently over five feet thick- which is as much as she can do at a time. She pulled out her mace, and I grabbed it since I am much stronger than the priestess.
The others were working their way down the stairs, when suddenly the floor fell out from under them, making everyone fall into a puddle of acid. They all made it out of the pool, and found a doorway; Lily opened it and a pair of fists came out, hitting Rosebud. The halftaur began exchanging blows with the unseen enemy. There was a smokey, hazy area of the room that had some charred bodies in it, and Geophry charged over there to see what was happening, while Lith attempted to put the fire out.
I eventually broke through the stupid wall, and began going down the stairs- which then came out from under me and I tumbled into a pool of acid. Somehow Mezzem didn't fall on her way down though, so she was able to stay on the stairs and out of the fucking acid. Across the acid pool I saw Rosebud trading blows with a small mummy, which he of course dropped quickly. Momma was dragging some smoldering corpses over to the acid pit, and at the sight of Mezzem and I, he told Chairy to come get us. I fell off and into the pool of acid- which I think he may have nudged me a little, the little shit seems to have it in for me. Momma used a levitation spell to get me out of the acid, and helped me get the acid off.
Rosebud began attacking the door on the other side of the room, and when that didn't seem to open it, he pulled on the lever-style handle... which opened it. On the other side was an antechamber of sorts with more doors. My brother picked one and kicked it open, revealing a room of large stone bleachers, that led to a path with a large reptilian creature attached to chains and in a pit. Lord Fury, were we facing a dragon mummy? That didn't sound good.
We began to walk down these bleachers when everything suddenly shuddered, and the bleachers fell away; we were now falling down a thirty or so foot shaft toward something that made an unnerving, guttural growl. We could see a figure through the tunnel, and then everything burned. Lith and Astrid were down by the time the flames had cleared. Shit.
Rosebud, of course, charged the figure, and it moved to bite him; then it said something none of us could understand, and a wave of rippling black energy emanated from it. Two of the sarcophagi in the room fell over and mummies emerged. As I began exchanging blows with the mummies, I realized I couldn't heal- not even my fucking potions were working. Rosebud had moved to one of the sarcophagi and was trying to hold it closed so we wouldn't be overwhelmed by the underlings- when that failed he tossed the lid aside and destroyed that mummy. Two of the mummies went for the unconscious Lith and Astrid, and breathed water into their lungs. Thankfully Mezzem was able to revive them somehow, I guess whatever was preventing me from healing was gone, or she got around it somehow. The mummies didn't seem to like her helping, and one of them grabbed her and breathed water at her- I retaliated with a stab.
Astrid realized when she got up that she was blind, but thankfully she was able to see through Calipso's eyes. We continued to exchange blows with the little mummies for a few more breaths, while Momma kept the dragon busy, and finally there was only the big guy left. Momma used that mist step thing to get right above the dragon, and dropped a lightning bolt on it, but it didn't seem to do as much as it should have to it.
Lith sent a couple bolts of bluish energy at it, as it struck me. Flimflam sent ice breath at it, and Astrid tried something that would drain the water from its body- which it barely seemed to resist. It spewed acid at me and I began stabbing the hell out of it. Momma sent another lightning bolt at it, and it somehow dodged, moving far more nimbly than a creature of its size and undeath should have been able to. Flimflam grabbed my javelin and tried to use a spell to hurl it, but something in his odd magics prevented that from working.
As Astrid screamed- literally- at the dragon it spewed more of its acid breath at me. I hate acid. Poor Lith was swimming in acid at this point. I swung in with my sword, and managed to stab it up through the brain, killing it!
The loot was on a little island, surrounded by more of the stupid acid. Geophry tried to steal Astrid's portable hole, but I saw him and told Momma. Astrid said he could borrow it to get the items, but he had to give it back after- of course the little monster was pissed about that. When he brought back the loot he realized that there were no canopic jars in it, which meant they were stashed elsewhere, and apparently if we didn't destroy those the mummy could come back. Momma thought it was in the giant statue in the room, but when he opened that up all that came out was a swarm of insects- which he hurriedly dispelled.
There were some stepping stones in the acid pool, and Momma decided that was the only other place they could be. Geophry volunteered, and I put some acid resistant oil on him, then Momma used a spell to make him even more resistant. It took him a minute, but eventually he emerged unscathed from the acid pool, with five jars; Astrid disintegrated them.
Mezzem started to vanish and called out a final reminder that Not-Kazul was in trouble, though we still didn't care.
 |
| Photo owned by Wizards of the Coast, artwork by Jared Blando. |
No comments:
Post a Comment