Monday, December 25, 2017
New Magic Items for 5th Edition
Monday, December 18, 2017
Staff of the Beastlands: New Magic Item for Druids
Monday, December 11, 2017
The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Making of the Mechanimal and his Gnome
I grew up at the Friendly Arm Inn, where my family has lived since not long after the spellplague. The Steamgears originated on the island of Lantan where they worked on advancing technology. My great-grandparents were adventuring at the time of the spellplague, saving them from sharing in the fate of the rest of Lantan, which was destroyed by the tsunamis and earthquakes that followed the blue fire. My family ended up settling at the Friendly Arm Inn because of the large gnome population there, and we've been happy there ever since.
Since I was a child I've been fascinated by the stories of the technology that was lost with Lantan, I always begged to hear more stories. I was in love with the tech that my family spoke of, and wanted to know more- create some of my own.
Eventually I was able to apprentice with an artificer who was willing to show me how to build things and create tech of my own; and after years of study, I was able to create my first Mechanimal: Critical Bumbersnoot. I created him in honor of my beloved dachshund that I'd had as a child, whose name was Bumbersnoot. I even gave him the personality of the original dog. I'd gotten back my childhood companion, and this time I'd have him forever.
My cousins and I have always dreamed of finding the lost technology in Lantan, reclaiming some of the incredible inventions our family talked about. We've spent years researching the island, hoping to someday find it. I took up adventuring in hopes that it would help lead me to Lantan. I've raided the bookshelves of every Temple of Gond on the Sword Coast, as well as every tinker guild looking for clues, but I've yet to find any.
Someday though, we will find ancient Lantan, and we'll be celebrated for returning our lost knowledge to our people.
Since I was a child I've been fascinated by the stories of the technology that was lost with Lantan, I always begged to hear more stories. I was in love with the tech that my family spoke of, and wanted to know more- create some of my own.
Eventually I was able to apprentice with an artificer who was willing to show me how to build things and create tech of my own; and after years of study, I was able to create my first Mechanimal: Critical Bumbersnoot. I created him in honor of my beloved dachshund that I'd had as a child, whose name was Bumbersnoot. I even gave him the personality of the original dog. I'd gotten back my childhood companion, and this time I'd have him forever.
My cousins and I have always dreamed of finding the lost technology in Lantan, reclaiming some of the incredible inventions our family talked about. We've spent years researching the island, hoping to someday find it. I took up adventuring in hopes that it would help lead me to Lantan. I've raided the bookshelves of every Temple of Gond on the Sword Coast, as well as every tinker guild looking for clues, but I've yet to find any.
Someday though, we will find ancient Lantan, and we'll be celebrated for returning our lost knowledge to our people.
Monday, December 4, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: Book One, Chapter Fourteen
Things Blow up in Winry's Face
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer Wizard
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Dunderbittles, Winry's Clockwork Ladybug familiar
Dunderbittles, Winry's Clockwork Ladybug familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina Taenfeather, the Human Knight
Amara aka Lady Talina Neverember, the Human Noble
Lady Sylvia Sweetwater, the Human Rogue
Amara aka Lady Talina Neverember, the Human Noble
Lady Sylvia Sweetwater, the Human Rogue
Gill O'Darby, the Human Ranger
Bex Thriceorphaned, the Goliath Juggernaut Barbarian Circle of the Crescent Druid
Trip Hazard, Bex's Golden Cat animal companion
Trip Hazard, Bex's Golden Cat animal companion
Comrades we have lost:
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Revenant Werewolf Sea Sorceress- turned into a vampire, then killed by the party, then risen as a revenant, and killed again by the party
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Kythorn 1, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), on the road
After we gathered ourselves up, along with Remington's body, we headed back to our caravan to make sure everything was okay there. We let them know about the others betrayal, and for the most part they seemed to believe us, though one wagon seemed pretty unaccepting of this. Since it was too hard to keep moving in this hella nasty storm, we decided to backtrack an hour and set up camp. We didn't want to set up camp exactly where the traitors had left us, in case they came back.
About an hour before dark we heard horses in the distance, in the direction we're headed. Oskar and Jak went to check it out, and I sent Dunderbittles with them so if they needed help she could alert me. They were a group of gypsies who wanted to share our fire for the night. They were great morale boost, we feasted and they had entertainers. It was hella fun.
Later in the evening, one of the older women offered us each a card reading. Jak went first, and after reading his past and future, his present gave him a choice. He had to choose two of three cards, and one of them would be passed to someone else. He chose Oskar, and whatever the Hells he did, caused Oskar to shrink, he was even smaller than me now! It was hella awesome. Oskar was pissed. He hit Jak right in the nuts with his hammer and totally busted them. It was so fucking funny watching him writhe in pain. Especially since Oskar hit him in the nuts with the hammer again, this time he followed it up with healing. After a bit more laughing, and me loving not being the shortest person in the group for a little bit, the old woman Oskar a tea and he grew back to his normal size.
The card Jak selected for himself made all of our spoiled Stasis Orbs rest. This would have been hella awesome if I hadn't had one that I was on the brink of cracking. He just undid all of my work... having Oskar's hammer bust his nuts was totally deserved.
Bex went next, but nothing hilarious or ridiculous happened from her reading.
I went after that, and was told in my past I'd dished out and taken my share of heavy hits, which was true. In my future I should be wary of those who strike from the shadows. My present was the inverted ghost, and once the card went off, I felt a little more clear headed.
We traded them the experimental kitchen gadgets for some wine, and it took us a little while to find the prices for them... Oskar had said that since he was heading the caravan, he'd take care of the manifest. He fucking lost it. Never trust a dwarf to do a gnome's job. Eventually we got it all squared away, and had a bunch of wine to sell off in Waterdeep.
***** Kythorn 5, Triboar
We arrived in Triboar today, and managed to sell off our ale and cheese. Jak wanted to buy some ponies and leather to sell in Waterdeep, so we ended up with ten ponies at the end of it and a bunch of leather.
Half of the caravan was breaking off here, so we decided to move on on our own. Amara thought it would be best for us to get to Waterdeep and then further south as quickly as possible. We decided to slip out in the night, bribing the guards at the gates to say they'd never seen us pass through. We pushed through the night.
***** Kythorn 9, outside of Waterdeep
We were just a couple of hours outside Waterdeep, so we decided to grab a room on the outskirts of town. Since we had a bunch of stuff to do, that needed to be done as quickly as possible, we decided to split up. Jak and Bex would go sell the last of our trade goods, Oskar would turn in our creatures to Jackass, and I would go look for discreet travel for us. The girls and Gill would stay in the room and out of sight. I gave them one of my Talkie Stones, and gave Jak the other, since he's the fastest.
I was just outside of the transport building when I noticed a flying snake approaching me who looked a little winded. It had a message from my cousin Edie that said "Eureka! I found it!" Included was the schematics to a mechanical hand we created together a few years ago, but when I looked closer at it, there were the sigils for a teleportation circle in it, along with the message "I'm going ahead, I'll contact you in a tenday unless something happens." It was dated two tendays ago, when we were in Mirabar. Fuck. I copied the sigils onto another sheet of paper to see if there was anything that matched them in the building. Everyone told me the sigils appeared to be ancient. I found directions to a discreet circle in Skullport that we could take to get out of here secretly.
When I got back to the room I asked Oskar if he could do a sending for me so I could reach Edie; all I got in response was static. I explained to the others that Edie had probably gone to Lantan, since that's been our dream since we were little, and that since I hadn't heard from her, she may have gotten into trouble in the ancient city. I told them I didn't know what we'd be walking into, and that they didn't have to come with me, but I needed to do this as soon as we got the girls to Calimport.
Amara said that Lantan was not far off from Calimport, and that taking the teleportation circle to Lantan, then going by boat to Calimport would be a great way to throw people off their trails. I was relieved my friends wanted to go with me, I didn't want to walk into the complete unknown alone. Oskar had a way of doing a circle on his own, so he could get us there without handing over these sigils. I didn't want to give them to anyone. We did a quick shopping trip and stocked up on everything we thought we might need, and then we set off for what I hoped was Lantan. I prayed we weren't too late to help Edie.
Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, Sylvia, and I got a bit sick from the travel. When we oriented ourselves, I saw we were in a twenty foot stone room with no exit. All that was in here was the circle. I poked around and found a brick that opened a secret door. Outside was a dimly lit stone hallway, to the left was some light, and there was darkness to the right. We heard some people speaking in weird gnomish to the left, followed by some clattering and more chatter. Jak and Gill went to check it out.
Apparently their backs were to Jak and Gill, and Jak decided that instead of asking where we were, he'd knock both of the guards- one human and one gnome- unconscious. And he fucking broke one of their bones. Oskar fixed the broken leg and Jak tied up the guards, then we took them back to the gate room. We heard a whistle and shouting outside the room as other guards likely discovered the two Jak had knocked out were missing.
We revived the gnome first, who- of course- demanded to know who we were and what we were doing here. We tried to ask him where we were, but he would only say we're in the catacombs, cause that's hella helpful. Jak attempted to silence the guard, and Oskar and I then tried to smooth things over with him. It might have worked if Jak hadn't tried bribing him... then the guard started going off about Jak's crimes, and Jak knocked him out again. We're off to a fanfuckingtastic start here.
We woke up the human next, after telling Jak that he was not allowed to speak. It was actually going well, Oskar and I explained that Jak is an ass who doesn't think things through, and apologized for his stupidity. It was going well until Bex decided to help by announcing that he ripped off her face, and held up the tanned, misshapen face she'd kept for some weird ass reason. The poor fucker started screaming again, so Oskar cast a silence spell, then knocked him out with a sleep spell.
After yelling at Bex and Jak and telling them they were both banned from speaking to any other guards or people, we decided that our best course of action was to approach the other guards in the halls. We finally found out from those guards that we're in Lantan, in the catacombs of the city of Dtakkar. Edie had done it! We were under arrest for trespassing and assaulting guards, thanks to Jak. We were led to a jail cell, which Oskar refused to get in at first- until Amara told him to knock it the hell off. They asked for our weapons, and Oskar told them Jak is a weapon, so he was drug off into a separate cell. They took Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles too and put them in a separate cell too.
It felt like we were waiting forever before guards appeared- pretty much all of them gnomes. The captain of the guard, Amelia Tinderflint, and once a zone of truth was active she asked for our names... finding out who Amara truly is. Fuckballs. She told us that we could be tried and charged for our crimes, and Jak would be tried for even more, since he's the one who assaulted the guards and attempted to bribe them, or we could help each other out.
Two tenday ago, Edie and her sister were found in the same hallway we were in, and she was allowed to go into the depths of Lantan. Since Edie went down there they've been having breaches from below. So if we go down there and investigate the depths, and stop whatever is causing the breaches, we'd be free to go. The girls and Gill would be their guests while we were gone, and as long as there was no treachery, or we didn't return after a year and a day, they would be free to go. They'd be safe here, and Amara's identity would not be revealed. I left one of my talkie stones with Amara so they could reach us.
***** Kythorn 10, Dtakkar
In the morning we were led back through the catacombs to the area we'd started in. Turns out, if we'd gone to the right, we would have gotten to where we wanted to be right away. We found a hatch that Jak and Oskar had to open for us, and were greeted to the damp scent of salt water. There was a hella long ladder going down. Since Bumbersnoot couldn't really climb down on his own, and there was no way I'd be able to do it, I shrunk Bumbersnoot and rode down the shaft with Jak. Jak had decided to jump down instead of climbing, and at one point he slipped, and I screamed my head off the rest of the way down. We'd gone 2,000 feet in a single minute, and got to the bottom just before the spell I'd cast on Bumbersnoot ended.
We were in a metal hallway that led into darkness, and as we were getting our bearings, we heard a click- the hatch above us had sealed us in. There was a faint dripping in the distance, and honestly this place was hella eerie. Eventually we came upon another hatch that was slightly ajar, and on the other side of it was a brass balcony, with rails at gnome and human height. I illuminated Bumbersnoot's eyes and we saw a brass spiral staircase, and what looked like it might be a platform. The noises in this room seemed almost hollow, muffled.
At the bottom of the stairs was a breathtaking village. It had pipes running all over the place, and a lot of the designs were water motifs- Quinn would have liked those. This is the city my grandparents always spoke of. It's as beautiful as Edie and I always dreamed it would be!
Jak picked up Edie's tracks quickly, she'd gone to several houses, and left the door open, until we came to one that was still locked. She hadn't gone in. Turns out that was because she'd broken her lockpick. I pulled out the broken piece and picked that lock with ease- I was a bit surprised she'd busted it, since it was hella easy. Maybe her picks were just worn down from all the other houses she'd already broken into.
The house was mostly furnished, but there was nothing sentimental inside. It looked like they had to leave too quickly to take everything, but all of the important things were gone- even the safe was empty, aside from a couple of bottle caps. Jak pulled one out of the safe and flicked it at Bex... hitting her right in the middle of the forehead. It looked like it might be permanent, but she'd been complaining about needing to decorate her face anyways, so I guess that was a start. This probably didn't help her distrust of Jak, since she still thinks he ripped her face off- he may be a dick, but he'd never rip her face off.
We continued on Edie's trail, and eventually passed through another set of doors. There were faint amber lights lining the streets that flickered periodically, probably from not being used for over a century. As we walked down this street we began to hear a faint, repeating, humming sound. We came to a courtyard, with open gates, and a black, shiny wall. Lots of pipes were running into it, and we could just make out a glow inside, but there wasn't a door facing us. As we walked around the building we began hearing a clanking noise, like metal hitting metal. Jak went ahead to check it out, and right around the corner of the building were three enormous crabs that were banging on the wall of the building. Unfortunately they also saw Jak, and one grabbed him with its ridiculously huge claw.
Bumbersnoot grabbed Jak, hoping we could stop it from grabbing him, but we were just pulled along with him. Then another crab grabbed Bumbersnoot, and a third tried to get Dunderbittles, but missed. Oskar chucked his hammer at the one holding Jak, and when his hammer hit it, it sounded metal. I noticed the distinct whirring of gears and realized they weren't giant crabs, they were giant Mechanimals! I need to take them apart and make them mine! Jak began pounding on the crab holding him, and its access hatch popped open, and a swarm of clockwork beetles flew out. This was my chance to hack into its system. I hopped off Bumbersnoot and jumped into the access hatch, and found its power core. Now all I needed to do was disconnect it and I could begin tinkering with it to make it mine.
While Winry was inside the crab, Bumbersnoot attempted to break free of the one holding him, and ended up hurting himself even worse in the process. Then it grabbed Dunderbittles with its other claw and gravely injured the ladybug. The third crab moved on to Bex and snatched her up in its razor-sharp claw. Oskar activated his spirit guardians, killing the crab Winry was inside...
I was just reaching for the core when it literally exploded in my face. Dammit, now I can't make it mine. But there's two others I can give this a shot on- and who knows, maybe the schematics for them are still around here somewhere. I hopped out of the crab to see a very badly injured Bumbersnoot, and a dying Dunderbittles; there were also two swarms of clockwork beetles now. I hurried to Bumbersnoot and healed him, then I shot the crab holding him with my Daring Sir. Now that Dunderbittles was down, the crab went for Jak with its empty claw- I managed to get a shot off with NATAS, but I just barely missed. Now it was Jak and Bumbersnoot being held by one crab, and Bex by the other. Oskar and I were still free though.
After Bex beat on the crab holding her a little more- and it took some punishment from Oskar's spirit guardians- that one exploded. One of the swarms went for Bex, while the other went for Bumbersnoot and I; he was now horribly injured again. Oskar attacked the swarm on us, and revived Dunderbittles. Jak pounded on the crab holding him, while Bumbersnoot and I focused on the swarm. I missed it, but Critical Bumbersnoot finished them off; Oskar's spirit guardians finished the crab off, and poor Bumbersnoot took enough damage from the explosion to drop him. This place is not good for my Mechanimals. Bex finished off the swarm on her, and Oskar killed off the one that had come out of the crab he just killed.
I wish those stupid things wouldn't explode when you kill them, I need to take them apart so I can come up with some new upgrades for Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles. I spent the next several minutes healing Bumbersnoot to get him back in fighting shape again.
We'd thought the crabs were trying to beat down the door, but it turned out it was a completely smooth, perfectly polished, brass wall. It looked brand new. I had a feeling Edie had done it and was holed up inside there. I was going to set up my air forge and melt the wall, but Bex decided to just pound on it instead. Oskar sent his spirit weapon to help her, and it ended up cleaving through Bex and slamming her into the wall- leaving a distinct impression of her face. Eventually she got it open.
Inside this building was another swarm of beetles that was near another perfectly smooth brass wall. There were some amber lights flickering in here, much like the ones in the streets. Jak ran straight in and began beating on the beetles. I followed him and called out for Edie. She just had to be there. Bumbersnoot used his steam breath on the beetles, which seemed to do absolutely nothing to them, and I killed them with NATAS.
There was a set of busted doors opposite the wall we'd just busted through to get in here, and Oskar went through those to explore further into the building. Bex and Jak were right on his heels, and they heard more mechanical noises. I hoped we wouldn't have to blow up all of the Mechanimals we encountered- I needed to take them apart, dammit!
Another crab and swarm approached the others, and Oskar chucked his hammer at the crab just before it grabbed Bex. Before I could jump in to help, another crab came up behind me and grabbed Bumbersnoot. A second one followed and killed poor Dunderbittles again. I definitely need to upgrade her. I was so fucking done with these fucking crabs hurting my babies. I went a little ballistic on them. I used NATAS' semi-auto mode and began shooting the Hells out of the one holding Bumbersnoot. A swarm popped out, and in my anger, I forgot they were immune to fire, so I had Bumbersnoot steam breath them. We managed to deflect the next attacks from the crabs, but the damned swarm hit me and finished off poor Dunderbittles.
Oskar's hammer went whizzing past my head and whacked one of the crabs. I finished off the crab holding Bumbersnoot and shot the other one, Bumbersnoot snapped at it, but his jaws closed on air. We backed down the hall a little bit so we weren't right in their faces, but I couldn't scoop up Dunderbittles off the floor on the way past her. The swarm followed us and hit Oskar, I used a magic shield to prevent it from hitting Bumbersnoot at I. Bumbersnoot bit at the swarm, and Oskar used his spirit weapon on it. I finished the swarm off with NATAS and had Bumbersnoot use his lightning breath on the crab. We heard something fizzle and steam began billowing out- he'd hit the water pipe behind the crab.
Now we had almost no visibility, so we had to get close to it again. Oskar moved up to it first, and I heard him say "oh shit." I followed him, but missed the crab- Bumbersnoot bit it though. It snatched up Oskar, and he cast something that destroyed it. That explosion knocked him out, but I revived him. Jak and Bex were finishing killing the crabs they'd encountered by the time we'd killed those ones.
I mended the pipe we'd busted to get the steam out. Jak and Bex found a couple of pieces of Dunderbittles, but with all those explosions, there wasn't much left of her. I think I can whip something up though with all the spare metals I filled my bags with before we left, and I can use the weird teeny mechanical bugs (nanites) in NATAS to help with it.
We were all badly injured, and pretty much out of magical energy- little red spots had begun slipping into the edge of my vision. We needed to hole up somewhere and rest.
Maps by Wizards of the Coast
After we gathered ourselves up, along with Remington's body, we headed back to our caravan to make sure everything was okay there. We let them know about the others betrayal, and for the most part they seemed to believe us, though one wagon seemed pretty unaccepting of this. Since it was too hard to keep moving in this hella nasty storm, we decided to backtrack an hour and set up camp. We didn't want to set up camp exactly where the traitors had left us, in case they came back.
About an hour before dark we heard horses in the distance, in the direction we're headed. Oskar and Jak went to check it out, and I sent Dunderbittles with them so if they needed help she could alert me. They were a group of gypsies who wanted to share our fire for the night. They were great morale boost, we feasted and they had entertainers. It was hella fun.
Later in the evening, one of the older women offered us each a card reading. Jak went first, and after reading his past and future, his present gave him a choice. He had to choose two of three cards, and one of them would be passed to someone else. He chose Oskar, and whatever the Hells he did, caused Oskar to shrink, he was even smaller than me now! It was hella awesome. Oskar was pissed. He hit Jak right in the nuts with his hammer and totally busted them. It was so fucking funny watching him writhe in pain. Especially since Oskar hit him in the nuts with the hammer again, this time he followed it up with healing. After a bit more laughing, and me loving not being the shortest person in the group for a little bit, the old woman Oskar a tea and he grew back to his normal size.
The card Jak selected for himself made all of our spoiled Stasis Orbs rest. This would have been hella awesome if I hadn't had one that I was on the brink of cracking. He just undid all of my work... having Oskar's hammer bust his nuts was totally deserved.
Bex went next, but nothing hilarious or ridiculous happened from her reading.
I went after that, and was told in my past I'd dished out and taken my share of heavy hits, which was true. In my future I should be wary of those who strike from the shadows. My present was the inverted ghost, and once the card went off, I felt a little more clear headed.
We traded them the experimental kitchen gadgets for some wine, and it took us a little while to find the prices for them... Oskar had said that since he was heading the caravan, he'd take care of the manifest. He fucking lost it. Never trust a dwarf to do a gnome's job. Eventually we got it all squared away, and had a bunch of wine to sell off in Waterdeep.
***** Kythorn 5, Triboar
We arrived in Triboar today, and managed to sell off our ale and cheese. Jak wanted to buy some ponies and leather to sell in Waterdeep, so we ended up with ten ponies at the end of it and a bunch of leather.
Half of the caravan was breaking off here, so we decided to move on on our own. Amara thought it would be best for us to get to Waterdeep and then further south as quickly as possible. We decided to slip out in the night, bribing the guards at the gates to say they'd never seen us pass through. We pushed through the night.
***** Kythorn 9, outside of Waterdeep
We were just a couple of hours outside Waterdeep, so we decided to grab a room on the outskirts of town. Since we had a bunch of stuff to do, that needed to be done as quickly as possible, we decided to split up. Jak and Bex would go sell the last of our trade goods, Oskar would turn in our creatures to Jackass, and I would go look for discreet travel for us. The girls and Gill would stay in the room and out of sight. I gave them one of my Talkie Stones, and gave Jak the other, since he's the fastest.
I was just outside of the transport building when I noticed a flying snake approaching me who looked a little winded. It had a message from my cousin Edie that said "Eureka! I found it!" Included was the schematics to a mechanical hand we created together a few years ago, but when I looked closer at it, there were the sigils for a teleportation circle in it, along with the message "I'm going ahead, I'll contact you in a tenday unless something happens." It was dated two tendays ago, when we were in Mirabar. Fuck. I copied the sigils onto another sheet of paper to see if there was anything that matched them in the building. Everyone told me the sigils appeared to be ancient. I found directions to a discreet circle in Skullport that we could take to get out of here secretly.
When I got back to the room I asked Oskar if he could do a sending for me so I could reach Edie; all I got in response was static. I explained to the others that Edie had probably gone to Lantan, since that's been our dream since we were little, and that since I hadn't heard from her, she may have gotten into trouble in the ancient city. I told them I didn't know what we'd be walking into, and that they didn't have to come with me, but I needed to do this as soon as we got the girls to Calimport.
Amara said that Lantan was not far off from Calimport, and that taking the teleportation circle to Lantan, then going by boat to Calimport would be a great way to throw people off their trails. I was relieved my friends wanted to go with me, I didn't want to walk into the complete unknown alone. Oskar had a way of doing a circle on his own, so he could get us there without handing over these sigils. I didn't want to give them to anyone. We did a quick shopping trip and stocked up on everything we thought we might need, and then we set off for what I hoped was Lantan. I prayed we weren't too late to help Edie.
Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, Sylvia, and I got a bit sick from the travel. When we oriented ourselves, I saw we were in a twenty foot stone room with no exit. All that was in here was the circle. I poked around and found a brick that opened a secret door. Outside was a dimly lit stone hallway, to the left was some light, and there was darkness to the right. We heard some people speaking in weird gnomish to the left, followed by some clattering and more chatter. Jak and Gill went to check it out.
Apparently their backs were to Jak and Gill, and Jak decided that instead of asking where we were, he'd knock both of the guards- one human and one gnome- unconscious. And he fucking broke one of their bones. Oskar fixed the broken leg and Jak tied up the guards, then we took them back to the gate room. We heard a whistle and shouting outside the room as other guards likely discovered the two Jak had knocked out were missing.
We revived the gnome first, who- of course- demanded to know who we were and what we were doing here. We tried to ask him where we were, but he would only say we're in the catacombs, cause that's hella helpful. Jak attempted to silence the guard, and Oskar and I then tried to smooth things over with him. It might have worked if Jak hadn't tried bribing him... then the guard started going off about Jak's crimes, and Jak knocked him out again. We're off to a fanfuckingtastic start here.
We woke up the human next, after telling Jak that he was not allowed to speak. It was actually going well, Oskar and I explained that Jak is an ass who doesn't think things through, and apologized for his stupidity. It was going well until Bex decided to help by announcing that he ripped off her face, and held up the tanned, misshapen face she'd kept for some weird ass reason. The poor fucker started screaming again, so Oskar cast a silence spell, then knocked him out with a sleep spell.
After yelling at Bex and Jak and telling them they were both banned from speaking to any other guards or people, we decided that our best course of action was to approach the other guards in the halls. We finally found out from those guards that we're in Lantan, in the catacombs of the city of Dtakkar. Edie had done it! We were under arrest for trespassing and assaulting guards, thanks to Jak. We were led to a jail cell, which Oskar refused to get in at first- until Amara told him to knock it the hell off. They asked for our weapons, and Oskar told them Jak is a weapon, so he was drug off into a separate cell. They took Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles too and put them in a separate cell too.
It felt like we were waiting forever before guards appeared- pretty much all of them gnomes. The captain of the guard, Amelia Tinderflint, and once a zone of truth was active she asked for our names... finding out who Amara truly is. Fuckballs. She told us that we could be tried and charged for our crimes, and Jak would be tried for even more, since he's the one who assaulted the guards and attempted to bribe them, or we could help each other out.
Two tenday ago, Edie and her sister were found in the same hallway we were in, and she was allowed to go into the depths of Lantan. Since Edie went down there they've been having breaches from below. So if we go down there and investigate the depths, and stop whatever is causing the breaches, we'd be free to go. The girls and Gill would be their guests while we were gone, and as long as there was no treachery, or we didn't return after a year and a day, they would be free to go. They'd be safe here, and Amara's identity would not be revealed. I left one of my talkie stones with Amara so they could reach us.
***** Kythorn 10, Dtakkar
In the morning we were led back through the catacombs to the area we'd started in. Turns out, if we'd gone to the right, we would have gotten to where we wanted to be right away. We found a hatch that Jak and Oskar had to open for us, and were greeted to the damp scent of salt water. There was a hella long ladder going down. Since Bumbersnoot couldn't really climb down on his own, and there was no way I'd be able to do it, I shrunk Bumbersnoot and rode down the shaft with Jak. Jak had decided to jump down instead of climbing, and at one point he slipped, and I screamed my head off the rest of the way down. We'd gone 2,000 feet in a single minute, and got to the bottom just before the spell I'd cast on Bumbersnoot ended.
We were in a metal hallway that led into darkness, and as we were getting our bearings, we heard a click- the hatch above us had sealed us in. There was a faint dripping in the distance, and honestly this place was hella eerie. Eventually we came upon another hatch that was slightly ajar, and on the other side of it was a brass balcony, with rails at gnome and human height. I illuminated Bumbersnoot's eyes and we saw a brass spiral staircase, and what looked like it might be a platform. The noises in this room seemed almost hollow, muffled.
At the bottom of the stairs was a breathtaking village. It had pipes running all over the place, and a lot of the designs were water motifs- Quinn would have liked those. This is the city my grandparents always spoke of. It's as beautiful as Edie and I always dreamed it would be!
Jak picked up Edie's tracks quickly, she'd gone to several houses, and left the door open, until we came to one that was still locked. She hadn't gone in. Turns out that was because she'd broken her lockpick. I pulled out the broken piece and picked that lock with ease- I was a bit surprised she'd busted it, since it was hella easy. Maybe her picks were just worn down from all the other houses she'd already broken into.
The house was mostly furnished, but there was nothing sentimental inside. It looked like they had to leave too quickly to take everything, but all of the important things were gone- even the safe was empty, aside from a couple of bottle caps. Jak pulled one out of the safe and flicked it at Bex... hitting her right in the middle of the forehead. It looked like it might be permanent, but she'd been complaining about needing to decorate her face anyways, so I guess that was a start. This probably didn't help her distrust of Jak, since she still thinks he ripped her face off- he may be a dick, but he'd never rip her face off.
We continued on Edie's trail, and eventually passed through another set of doors. There were faint amber lights lining the streets that flickered periodically, probably from not being used for over a century. As we walked down this street we began to hear a faint, repeating, humming sound. We came to a courtyard, with open gates, and a black, shiny wall. Lots of pipes were running into it, and we could just make out a glow inside, but there wasn't a door facing us. As we walked around the building we began hearing a clanking noise, like metal hitting metal. Jak went ahead to check it out, and right around the corner of the building were three enormous crabs that were banging on the wall of the building. Unfortunately they also saw Jak, and one grabbed him with its ridiculously huge claw.
Bumbersnoot grabbed Jak, hoping we could stop it from grabbing him, but we were just pulled along with him. Then another crab grabbed Bumbersnoot, and a third tried to get Dunderbittles, but missed. Oskar chucked his hammer at the one holding Jak, and when his hammer hit it, it sounded metal. I noticed the distinct whirring of gears and realized they weren't giant crabs, they were giant Mechanimals! I need to take them apart and make them mine! Jak began pounding on the crab holding him, and its access hatch popped open, and a swarm of clockwork beetles flew out. This was my chance to hack into its system. I hopped off Bumbersnoot and jumped into the access hatch, and found its power core. Now all I needed to do was disconnect it and I could begin tinkering with it to make it mine.
While Winry was inside the crab, Bumbersnoot attempted to break free of the one holding him, and ended up hurting himself even worse in the process. Then it grabbed Dunderbittles with its other claw and gravely injured the ladybug. The third crab moved on to Bex and snatched her up in its razor-sharp claw. Oskar activated his spirit guardians, killing the crab Winry was inside...
I was just reaching for the core when it literally exploded in my face. Dammit, now I can't make it mine. But there's two others I can give this a shot on- and who knows, maybe the schematics for them are still around here somewhere. I hopped out of the crab to see a very badly injured Bumbersnoot, and a dying Dunderbittles; there were also two swarms of clockwork beetles now. I hurried to Bumbersnoot and healed him, then I shot the crab holding him with my Daring Sir. Now that Dunderbittles was down, the crab went for Jak with its empty claw- I managed to get a shot off with NATAS, but I just barely missed. Now it was Jak and Bumbersnoot being held by one crab, and Bex by the other. Oskar and I were still free though.
After Bex beat on the crab holding her a little more- and it took some punishment from Oskar's spirit guardians- that one exploded. One of the swarms went for Bex, while the other went for Bumbersnoot and I; he was now horribly injured again. Oskar attacked the swarm on us, and revived Dunderbittles. Jak pounded on the crab holding him, while Bumbersnoot and I focused on the swarm. I missed it, but Critical Bumbersnoot finished them off; Oskar's spirit guardians finished the crab off, and poor Bumbersnoot took enough damage from the explosion to drop him. This place is not good for my Mechanimals. Bex finished off the swarm on her, and Oskar killed off the one that had come out of the crab he just killed.
I wish those stupid things wouldn't explode when you kill them, I need to take them apart so I can come up with some new upgrades for Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles. I spent the next several minutes healing Bumbersnoot to get him back in fighting shape again.
We'd thought the crabs were trying to beat down the door, but it turned out it was a completely smooth, perfectly polished, brass wall. It looked brand new. I had a feeling Edie had done it and was holed up inside there. I was going to set up my air forge and melt the wall, but Bex decided to just pound on it instead. Oskar sent his spirit weapon to help her, and it ended up cleaving through Bex and slamming her into the wall- leaving a distinct impression of her face. Eventually she got it open.
Inside this building was another swarm of beetles that was near another perfectly smooth brass wall. There were some amber lights flickering in here, much like the ones in the streets. Jak ran straight in and began beating on the beetles. I followed him and called out for Edie. She just had to be there. Bumbersnoot used his steam breath on the beetles, which seemed to do absolutely nothing to them, and I killed them with NATAS.
There was a set of busted doors opposite the wall we'd just busted through to get in here, and Oskar went through those to explore further into the building. Bex and Jak were right on his heels, and they heard more mechanical noises. I hoped we wouldn't have to blow up all of the Mechanimals we encountered- I needed to take them apart, dammit!
Another crab and swarm approached the others, and Oskar chucked his hammer at the crab just before it grabbed Bex. Before I could jump in to help, another crab came up behind me and grabbed Bumbersnoot. A second one followed and killed poor Dunderbittles again. I definitely need to upgrade her. I was so fucking done with these fucking crabs hurting my babies. I went a little ballistic on them. I used NATAS' semi-auto mode and began shooting the Hells out of the one holding Bumbersnoot. A swarm popped out, and in my anger, I forgot they were immune to fire, so I had Bumbersnoot steam breath them. We managed to deflect the next attacks from the crabs, but the damned swarm hit me and finished off poor Dunderbittles.
Oskar's hammer went whizzing past my head and whacked one of the crabs. I finished off the crab holding Bumbersnoot and shot the other one, Bumbersnoot snapped at it, but his jaws closed on air. We backed down the hall a little bit so we weren't right in their faces, but I couldn't scoop up Dunderbittles off the floor on the way past her. The swarm followed us and hit Oskar, I used a magic shield to prevent it from hitting Bumbersnoot at I. Bumbersnoot bit at the swarm, and Oskar used his spirit weapon on it. I finished the swarm off with NATAS and had Bumbersnoot use his lightning breath on the crab. We heard something fizzle and steam began billowing out- he'd hit the water pipe behind the crab.
Now we had almost no visibility, so we had to get close to it again. Oskar moved up to it first, and I heard him say "oh shit." I followed him, but missed the crab- Bumbersnoot bit it though. It snatched up Oskar, and he cast something that destroyed it. That explosion knocked him out, but I revived him. Jak and Bex were finishing killing the crabs they'd encountered by the time we'd killed those ones.
I mended the pipe we'd busted to get the steam out. Jak and Bex found a couple of pieces of Dunderbittles, but with all those explosions, there wasn't much left of her. I think I can whip something up though with all the spare metals I filled my bags with before we left, and I can use the weird teeny mechanical bugs (nanites) in NATAS to help with it.
We were all badly injured, and pretty much out of magical energy- little red spots had begun slipping into the edge of my vision. We needed to hole up somewhere and rest.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: Book One, Chapter Thirteen
Incognito Caravan
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer Wizard
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Dunderbittles, Winry's Clockwork Ladybug familiar
Dunderbittles, Winry's Clockwork Ladybug familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Knight
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Rogue
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Rogue
Gill O'Darby, the Human Ranger
Bex Thriceorphaned, the Goliath Juggernaut Barbarian Circle of the Crescent Druid
Trip Hazard, Bex's Golden Cat animal companion
Comrades we have lost:
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Revenant Werewolf Sea Sorceress- turned into a vampire, then killed by the party, then risen as a revenant, and killed again by the party
Trip Hazard, Bex's Golden Cat animal companion
Comrades we have lost:
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Revenant Werewolf Sea Sorceress- turned into a vampire, then killed by the party, then risen as a revenant, and killed again by the party
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Mirtul 7, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Luskan
In the morning I suggested we change the girl's hair again to blend them in better. All three of them lightened their hair with lemon, and Amara hacked her hair off beforehand, giving Oskar the hair as a fake beard for him. I decided to dye my hair aqua, and decided to find a hat of disguise for Bumbersnoot, making him look like a flesh and blood dog would help blend us in better. Jak stumbled in while we were working on this, and we gave him spots, since that's really all we could do to disguise him.
We wandered downstairs for breakfast, and One-Eyed Jax was at his usual post at the bar. He asked us exactly what happened to us, and Oskar told him the entire story. Oskar also paid him to never mention we came back here, since eventually those hunting the girls may come looking here for us again. Jax offered to set us up on a caravan to Mirabar, taking a roundabout way to Waterdeep was our best shot, we knew the hunters would be watching the ports. He gave us $100,000 to deliver a crate of goods- which included some of our random magic items- to a warehouse in Mirabar, and gave us directions to a discreet merchant we could go to for supplies and disguise materials.
Jak, Sylvia, Gill, and I went shopping, while Oskar, Carmina, and Amara stayed behind to talk to Bex. I left Bumbersnoot with her to keep an eye on her for us. I hated going anywhere without my dog, but without him being disguised, anyone looking for us could recognize us with Bumbersnoot in tow. He also made a good guard against Bex.
When we got back from shopping, Oskar set up a zone of truth so we could all speak honestly; I guess their talk with Bex went well, since she was included in this. Amara told us it was time she tell us who she truly is and why we're helping her. She's Talina Neverember, Carmina is her cousin, and Sylvia is her handmaiden. They ran from her father because he wanted to force her to marry someone to amass his power and become King of Neverwinter. The man they'd claimed was their father when we met them was actually the man Amara loved and had run away with to marry. Amara's mother was a prominent figure in Waterdeep, making a good chunk of the Sword Coast very unsafe for them. The girls wanted to get far enough south that they could live in peace, without fear of her father finding them. Now that we all knew the truth about them, Amara wanted to give us the option to back out of helping them. Of course we all agreed- surprisingly enough, so did Bex, I didn't think she would since she's convinced that Jak ripped her face off.
After our conversation we checked in with Jax, who told us he'd found a caravan for us to Mirabar that leaves tomorrow. Apparently they needed bigger numbers in the caravan because of the barbarians we'd fought on our journey here the first time.
Now that Bumbersnoot and I were disguised we went out shopping again, but didn't find anything useful. As we were leaving a golden cat tripped Bex, and seemed to want her to follow it; she came back later that night and said it was her new cat, which she'd named Trip Hazard. That's such a boring name for a pet, she so should have let me name it.
***** Mirtul 8, Luskan
In the morning Bex was a man. Apparently she'd put on this girdle she randomly found, and it's cursed with sex change. None of us were mature enough to handle the conversation that ensued about removing the girdle to turn her back into a woman. Finally, after several minutes of utter ridiculousness, Oskar threw his hammer at her nuts and turned her back into a woman.
We headed for the caravan midday; we were the rear guard in the 24 cart procession.
***** Mirtul 18, Mirabar
We delivered Jax's goods to a very grumpy dwarf at a warehouse. He said he could get us on a caravan south, and he had tons of dwarven ale and elven flower cheese we could sell. That was perfect, so the others went to check when the next caravan would be leaving.
The next caravan wasn't for another nine days, and we couldn't risk staying in Mirabar that long, so we decided to form our own caravan. Jak, Oskar, Carmina, and Amara went to get that ball rolling. They wouldn't let me go with them, because apparently I'm too conspicuous, even though Bumbersnoot looks like a flesh and blood dog and my hair is aqua blue instead of its natural bubblegum pink.
They set up our caravan for two days from now, to let the word get out so we could gather enough wagons. While they were out working on it they were approached by a union representative for caravan guards- apparently it's a thing. He had a contract we needed to sign, so Jak ran it to me. It was a pretty standard contract, though the hazard pay would dick us over if we had to pay it out.
***** Mirtul 21, Mirabar
We had a decent amount of carts in the caravan, and we set out today, heading for Waterdeep by way of Longsaddle. We had goods to sell along the way, that we should make a decent amount of money off of.
***** Mirtul 27, Longsaddle
Our journey thus far had been largely uneventful, though I did finally crack the code on wizardry and finished my new Mechanimal, a Clockwork Ladybug named Dunderbittles! She's adorable.
We took the ale and cheese to the Harper's, and sold off some of our goods. We also bought some experimental gadgets from the human there that were household goods designed to make people's lives easier. They're interesting, if they actually work.
***** Mirtul 28, Longsaddle
We set out in the morning for Waterdeep. We'd be hitting Triboar and Red Larch next.
***** Mirtul 30, on the road
It started getting stormy today, and our travel was set back for at least a day.
***** Kythorn 1, on the road
Ra'zhi, the tabaxi Oskar had hired, told us that there was a situation up ahead of us. There were some giants on the road up ahead, and they looked like storm giants. He suggested we set an ambush, since there was the perfect spot for one right up the road for one. It was in a little valley, with some hill on either side. Ra'zhi had suggested that his crew- which consisted of Ra'zhi, who was a bard or something, Remington, a wizard, Korth, a fighter of some sort, and Ssivi, a cleric or something- go up to the top and we take the valley, between all of us we should be able to take the giants.
Fog rolled in and we could just make out the silhouettes of three giants approaching. I cast a spell that made the path in front of them greasy, hoping it might help us. A lightning bolt struck me, Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, Bex, and Trip Hazard, and poor Dunderbittles went down instantly. I think I'm going to have to figure out how to make her harder to drop. Then all three of the girls dropped. Gill ran away in terror, and Jak did too. This wasn't a good way to start this fight. I hurried to revive Dunderbittles while Bex pulled Sylvia out of the line of fire.
Up ahead Oskar was throwing his hammer at the giants, and two of them vanished after the hammer went through them. That was hella weird. Maybe it was a mirror image or something. I suddenly felt a pinch and my body went rigid. I was awake, but paralyzed. At least I couldn't fall off of Bumbersnoot, who instantly began doing his distress howl to alert Oskar. As I was bounced around on my dog, I caught snippets of the fight, since I couldn't see everything or participate until Oskar helped me.
Bumbersnoot moved up to the unconscious Amara and Carmina, since he knows to go to Oskar if I need help, and Oskar would be going to the girls first. Bex drug them out of harm's way now, and a few moments later, Bex cried out in pain. Jak and Bumbersnoot went to her aid, and began an assault on the lizardfolk who had appeared out of nowhere. We'd later learn this was Korth, he'd just disguised himself as a dragonborn when we met him. Critical Bumbersnoot was shredding into Korth, keeping him prone for the most part, with Dunderbittles getting in poison bites, and Bex and Jak pounding the Hells out of him.
Up above us, Ssivi had been exchanging spells with Oskar, so he put a silence spell on her to keep her from casting anything for at least a few breaths. He called out we'd been betrayed by the adventurers. Someone ended Oskar's silence quickly, and Ssivi hurt Bex hella bad. Gill had made his way over to the girls that Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, and Bex were fighting Korth over, and called out Sylvia had been poisoned. Right after that he went down again.
Ssivi said something, and all of a sudden their entire group and the girls turned into mist. Oskar snarled in rage and dispelled it. Since they'd been stopped, My Mechanimals and Bex were still pounding on Korth, and he was dishing it out hard against Bex in return. The fight raged on, and I was still being bounced around on Bumbersnoot's back. Oskar hadn't been able to get to me yet.
Eventually Korth dropped Bex, and turned to Bumbersnoot. I don't think he was expecting a mouthful of metal when he bit my puppy. Then Korth turned into an egg... apparently Ssivi had done so above us too. Jak called out that Ssivi wasn't in the egg, and Bumbersnoot discovered Korth wasn't in his. Jak found an invisible Remington trying to flee, and literally pounded his head in. Ra'zhi escaped in the chaos.
Oskar was a seething ball of dwarven rage, and he angrily stuffed Remington's body into his bag of holding. The ring of mind shielding the mage had been wearing was also snatched by Oskar, he wanted to make sure Remington didn't come back to life ever. He was hella scary right now. That dwarf is homicidally protective of those girls.
In the morning I suggested we change the girl's hair again to blend them in better. All three of them lightened their hair with lemon, and Amara hacked her hair off beforehand, giving Oskar the hair as a fake beard for him. I decided to dye my hair aqua, and decided to find a hat of disguise for Bumbersnoot, making him look like a flesh and blood dog would help blend us in better. Jak stumbled in while we were working on this, and we gave him spots, since that's really all we could do to disguise him.
We wandered downstairs for breakfast, and One-Eyed Jax was at his usual post at the bar. He asked us exactly what happened to us, and Oskar told him the entire story. Oskar also paid him to never mention we came back here, since eventually those hunting the girls may come looking here for us again. Jax offered to set us up on a caravan to Mirabar, taking a roundabout way to Waterdeep was our best shot, we knew the hunters would be watching the ports. He gave us $100,000 to deliver a crate of goods- which included some of our random magic items- to a warehouse in Mirabar, and gave us directions to a discreet merchant we could go to for supplies and disguise materials.
Jak, Sylvia, Gill, and I went shopping, while Oskar, Carmina, and Amara stayed behind to talk to Bex. I left Bumbersnoot with her to keep an eye on her for us. I hated going anywhere without my dog, but without him being disguised, anyone looking for us could recognize us with Bumbersnoot in tow. He also made a good guard against Bex.
When we got back from shopping, Oskar set up a zone of truth so we could all speak honestly; I guess their talk with Bex went well, since she was included in this. Amara told us it was time she tell us who she truly is and why we're helping her. She's Talina Neverember, Carmina is her cousin, and Sylvia is her handmaiden. They ran from her father because he wanted to force her to marry someone to amass his power and become King of Neverwinter. The man they'd claimed was their father when we met them was actually the man Amara loved and had run away with to marry. Amara's mother was a prominent figure in Waterdeep, making a good chunk of the Sword Coast very unsafe for them. The girls wanted to get far enough south that they could live in peace, without fear of her father finding them. Now that we all knew the truth about them, Amara wanted to give us the option to back out of helping them. Of course we all agreed- surprisingly enough, so did Bex, I didn't think she would since she's convinced that Jak ripped her face off.
After our conversation we checked in with Jax, who told us he'd found a caravan for us to Mirabar that leaves tomorrow. Apparently they needed bigger numbers in the caravan because of the barbarians we'd fought on our journey here the first time.
Now that Bumbersnoot and I were disguised we went out shopping again, but didn't find anything useful. As we were leaving a golden cat tripped Bex, and seemed to want her to follow it; she came back later that night and said it was her new cat, which she'd named Trip Hazard. That's such a boring name for a pet, she so should have let me name it.
***** Mirtul 8, Luskan
In the morning Bex was a man. Apparently she'd put on this girdle she randomly found, and it's cursed with sex change. None of us were mature enough to handle the conversation that ensued about removing the girdle to turn her back into a woman. Finally, after several minutes of utter ridiculousness, Oskar threw his hammer at her nuts and turned her back into a woman.
We headed for the caravan midday; we were the rear guard in the 24 cart procession.
***** Mirtul 18, Mirabar
We delivered Jax's goods to a very grumpy dwarf at a warehouse. He said he could get us on a caravan south, and he had tons of dwarven ale and elven flower cheese we could sell. That was perfect, so the others went to check when the next caravan would be leaving.
The next caravan wasn't for another nine days, and we couldn't risk staying in Mirabar that long, so we decided to form our own caravan. Jak, Oskar, Carmina, and Amara went to get that ball rolling. They wouldn't let me go with them, because apparently I'm too conspicuous, even though Bumbersnoot looks like a flesh and blood dog and my hair is aqua blue instead of its natural bubblegum pink.
They set up our caravan for two days from now, to let the word get out so we could gather enough wagons. While they were out working on it they were approached by a union representative for caravan guards- apparently it's a thing. He had a contract we needed to sign, so Jak ran it to me. It was a pretty standard contract, though the hazard pay would dick us over if we had to pay it out.
***** Mirtul 21, Mirabar
We had a decent amount of carts in the caravan, and we set out today, heading for Waterdeep by way of Longsaddle. We had goods to sell along the way, that we should make a decent amount of money off of.
***** Mirtul 27, Longsaddle
Our journey thus far had been largely uneventful, though I did finally crack the code on wizardry and finished my new Mechanimal, a Clockwork Ladybug named Dunderbittles! She's adorable.
We took the ale and cheese to the Harper's, and sold off some of our goods. We also bought some experimental gadgets from the human there that were household goods designed to make people's lives easier. They're interesting, if they actually work.
***** Mirtul 28, Longsaddle
We set out in the morning for Waterdeep. We'd be hitting Triboar and Red Larch next.
***** Mirtul 30, on the road
It started getting stormy today, and our travel was set back for at least a day.
***** Kythorn 1, on the road
Ra'zhi, the tabaxi Oskar had hired, told us that there was a situation up ahead of us. There were some giants on the road up ahead, and they looked like storm giants. He suggested we set an ambush, since there was the perfect spot for one right up the road for one. It was in a little valley, with some hill on either side. Ra'zhi had suggested that his crew- which consisted of Ra'zhi, who was a bard or something, Remington, a wizard, Korth, a fighter of some sort, and Ssivi, a cleric or something- go up to the top and we take the valley, between all of us we should be able to take the giants.
Fog rolled in and we could just make out the silhouettes of three giants approaching. I cast a spell that made the path in front of them greasy, hoping it might help us. A lightning bolt struck me, Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, Bex, and Trip Hazard, and poor Dunderbittles went down instantly. I think I'm going to have to figure out how to make her harder to drop. Then all three of the girls dropped. Gill ran away in terror, and Jak did too. This wasn't a good way to start this fight. I hurried to revive Dunderbittles while Bex pulled Sylvia out of the line of fire.
Up ahead Oskar was throwing his hammer at the giants, and two of them vanished after the hammer went through them. That was hella weird. Maybe it was a mirror image or something. I suddenly felt a pinch and my body went rigid. I was awake, but paralyzed. At least I couldn't fall off of Bumbersnoot, who instantly began doing his distress howl to alert Oskar. As I was bounced around on my dog, I caught snippets of the fight, since I couldn't see everything or participate until Oskar helped me.
Bumbersnoot moved up to the unconscious Amara and Carmina, since he knows to go to Oskar if I need help, and Oskar would be going to the girls first. Bex drug them out of harm's way now, and a few moments later, Bex cried out in pain. Jak and Bumbersnoot went to her aid, and began an assault on the lizardfolk who had appeared out of nowhere. We'd later learn this was Korth, he'd just disguised himself as a dragonborn when we met him. Critical Bumbersnoot was shredding into Korth, keeping him prone for the most part, with Dunderbittles getting in poison bites, and Bex and Jak pounding the Hells out of him.
Up above us, Ssivi had been exchanging spells with Oskar, so he put a silence spell on her to keep her from casting anything for at least a few breaths. He called out we'd been betrayed by the adventurers. Someone ended Oskar's silence quickly, and Ssivi hurt Bex hella bad. Gill had made his way over to the girls that Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, and Bex were fighting Korth over, and called out Sylvia had been poisoned. Right after that he went down again.
Ssivi said something, and all of a sudden their entire group and the girls turned into mist. Oskar snarled in rage and dispelled it. Since they'd been stopped, My Mechanimals and Bex were still pounding on Korth, and he was dishing it out hard against Bex in return. The fight raged on, and I was still being bounced around on Bumbersnoot's back. Oskar hadn't been able to get to me yet.
Eventually Korth dropped Bex, and turned to Bumbersnoot. I don't think he was expecting a mouthful of metal when he bit my puppy. Then Korth turned into an egg... apparently Ssivi had done so above us too. Jak called out that Ssivi wasn't in the egg, and Bumbersnoot discovered Korth wasn't in his. Jak found an invisible Remington trying to flee, and literally pounded his head in. Ra'zhi escaped in the chaos.
Oskar was a seething ball of dwarven rage, and he angrily stuffed Remington's body into his bag of holding. The ring of mind shielding the mage had been wearing was also snatched by Oskar, he wanted to make sure Remington didn't come back to life ever. He was hella scary right now. That dwarf is homicidally protective of those girls.
Monday, November 20, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: Book One, Chapter Twelve
A Bloody Escape
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Knight
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Rogue
Carmina, the Human Knight
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Rogue
Gill O'Darby, the Human Ranger
Bex Thriceorphaned, the Goliath Juggernaut Barbarian Circle of the Crescent Druid
Comrades we have lost:
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress- turned into a vampire, then killed by the party
Comrades we have lost:
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress- turned into a vampire, then killed by the party
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Mirtul 6, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Somewhere in the Sea of Swords
Before settling down to rest, Oskar set up the ritual to attempt to bring Quinn back to life. Jak and I had to aid him with the ritual, and we had to make offerings to Moradin. Oskar put forth a bunch of money and used Steve as a focus. I put Steve's ink on Quinn's Neptunian Trident, and told a story about our adventures- before Wave. Then it was Jak's turn, and he started speaking in a vile language that turned the warm, mithril light of Moradin that was shining on us in the circle, red. When he was done, Quinn was nothing but a smoking corpse. Oskar burned her body, and we all went to rest. I spent the rest of our time repairing Bumbersnoot to bring my poor puppy back.
Considering how useless I'd been in that battle, I've come to the conclusion that I should begin studying wizardry. That way if I'm ever stuck without my stuff and my dog again, I'll have spells that can actually hurt people. I can even make the clockwork ladybug I'd been designing, and make it my familiar.
Jak's twisting of the ritual turned Quinn into a revenant. She was brought back to "life" at the end of the party's rest, and awoke confused.
We were sitting around the breakfast table, when we heard a voice call out. Gill was the only one not at the table, but it didn't sound quite right to him. When the owner of the voice came around the corner, it was Quinn. Jak charged her instantly, began beating on her, and broke his hand on the wall. I thought she might be a revenant, but she'd gone feral while Jak was pummeling her, so we had to knock her out again. I wondered if I could use a stunning shot with NATAS, instead of one that may kill, and she instantly confirmed that I could. I shot her, then Bumbersnoot bit and tripped her. Quinn savagely ripped into Jak's leg with her teeth; then Oskar began throwing hammers at her. Carmina beat the shit out of her, and then Jak dropped her; then he started speaking in tongues again, and his wounds closed. I told Oskar I thought she was a revenant, so we should revive her, and he yelled "undead is undead" at me. There was no reasoning with him right now.
Oskar performed last rites for Quinn, and when he pulled Steve out for them, Steve was undead too! We killed the octopus quickly, and added him to the pyre. Before leaving we gathered Quinn's things and divvied them as needed. We left her bag of devouring in the mansion with her, since Oskar did not want it. When we stepped out, Jak closed the mansion, which I wish he hadn't done, it would give us a place to fall back to later if need be. At least this time I have my dog and my stuff, so I'll be effective in this battle/rescue mission. Finding Sylvia was our sole objective and priority. Though Oskar really wanted to kill Ctenmiir too.
Outside of the mansion was pure darkness, and it was cold. Oskar tried to dispel the darkness, but he was unable to. We began deliberating- something we should have done in the safety of the mansion, but the undead genasi interrupted that. Jak and Gill decided to sneak into the coffin room to stake as many vampires as they could before the sun went down in a couple of hours. As we discussed this a cackle rang out through the cavern, echoing on the walls and making it impossible for us to figure out where it came from.
We were almost to the doors at that point, and then Jak called that he saw movement up ahead. I shot at it with NATAS and managed to hit whatever the Hells it was. Oskar called out "hold your" and then began spewing blood. It was hella gross. Jak charged the figures as more shapes appeared in the darkness to the right of Bumbersnoot and I. Two of them hit me, so Bumbersnoot bit and tripped one, and then together we finished it off.
I saw Oskar's hammer go whizzing behind Bumbersnoot and I, followed by a flash of radiant light, as he hit one that was approaching us from behind. I could just make out Jak moving through the people attacking us, so I think he was doing okay at keeping the attackers at bay. I wasn't sure what was after us, since it was daylight out. Another guy hit me, so Bumbersnoot killed it, only for another to take its place. Something attempted to charm me, I barely shook it off. I had Bumbersnoot use his lightning breath on our attackers- that breath is hella cool. I'm so glad the Coldfire Initiative gave it to me. I felt a spell try to take hold of me as a single tear of blood rolled down my cheek, making me cringe; it was hella gross.
Among the human thralls that were attacking the party, was Bex. She was near the back, holding a rusty greataxe, when suddenly her mind cleared, and she shook off the vampire's charm that had made her a thrall. She had no memory of her time as a thrall, so unclear of her surroundings, she asked those near her what was going on; but none could answer her.
The vampire swung at me, and got its arm caught on Bumbersnoot, he bit it, but I missed. The vamp grabbed me and bit into my neck. Bumbersnoot bit at him, and I shot him with my Daring Sir, but I couldn't break out, I just wasn't strong enough. It took another bite of me, and Bumbersnoot bit it again, I hoped he'd get it off of me, but he wasn't able to break its hold on him. I could just make out Carmina and Oskar trying to help, but the vamp had a hard grip on me. Then some woman appeared and grabbed Oskar, and they both vanished.
Then a hella enormous woman appeared in rags and holding a rusty greataxe, I thought she was a thrall until she hit the vampire. Jak rushed the vampire after that, and then the vampire fucking bit me again to replenish itself, or because it's a douche. Could be either one really. When its teeth sunk deeper into my flesh, Bumbersnoot bit it again, tripping it, and it ran away. A thrall came up behind me and hit me, so Bumbersnoot and I killed it.
Amara yelled for Oskar to get his ass back here, and he suddenly reappeared. He tried to mime something to us, since he was still spewing blood, but we couldn't really tell what he was trying to say. With all of the thralls dead, we just had to wait for Oskar to regain speech. The enormous woman began bleeding from her eyes, and the Gill and Jak started getting pelted with magic missiles. Oskar finally regained speech, and Gill began swinging his ax around blindly, smashing a table. Jak went to break the cauldron in the blood room, since we figured that was what had been making everyone bleed.
Gill suddenly went limp, and we could just make out a figure holding onto him. Bex- the enormous woman- got a good grip on the shadow before it could run away, thankfully. I revived Gill and used Bumbersnoot's new lantern eyes to look at the hallway- the fucking doors were shut again. The vampire hadn't gone through the door, it grabbed Gill as soon as healed him, and bolted. Bumbersnoot and I followed, but I missed my shot with NATAS. Gill went limp again, but Amara revived him. The vampire started dragging the conscious and struggling boy away, so Bumbersnoot and I tried to grab Gill, but we weren't able to get him fast enough. Oskar joined our pursuit of Gill, just as Gill unloaded every charge of his frost ax into the vampire. As Bumbersnoot and I caught up to them again, I heard the vampire tell Gill to quit struggling. Bumbersnoot's teeth snapped closed on the air, and NATAS malfunctioned again.
Gill went limp again, and Oskar began speaking gibberish; but he stopped as soon as Amara told him to. She's good at that. The vampire took off with Gill again, and it made it through the doors again. When Bumbersnoot and I saw that, I had him lower his head and bust down the doors. His forehead was a little dented, but those doors wouldn't be getting shut again anytime soon. Oskar went barreling down the hall after the vampire, and I knew someone with a clear head needed to follow him, so I went after him, calling to the girls to go get Jak, he'd been gone for a while now. Bex went after him instead.
When I caught up to Oskar he told me to go down the hall to the left, and that fucking vampire dropped down on top of me. Amara- having ignored me- yelled at me to break free, and I struggled harder, but still couldn't do it. The damned vampire bit me- I was getting hella fed up with being bitten- and Bumbersnoot twisted around and ripped it off of me. I dropped an acid beetle on the vampire and hit it with my quickrazor. Carmina stabbed it and it turned into mist; Amara called to Oskar to do something, so he cast daylight and the vampire turned into ash.
We went into the room the vampire had been guarding, and it was filled with sarcophagi, we hoped Gill was in here. I pushed open one and it was completely empty. Carmina and Amara shoved open another one so hard the lid flew across the room. Inside was a body wrapped in a burial shroud- it was Sylvia! Now we just had to find Gill. The next one I opened had another body in it... it was a fucking vampire spawn that grabbed me and attempted to bite me. I managed to wriggle free, and Oskar and Bumbersnoot killed it. The next one Oskar opened had a spawn in it too- we killed it quickly. Oskar found Gill after that. Now we could get the Hells out of here.
While Oskar and the girls tended to Gill and Sylvia, I went to find Jak. He appeared dead, and was wearing Bex's face... Bex herself didn't have a face, and was unconscious. I revived her, and she immediately jumped up and ripped her face off of Jak. It wriggled free of her grasp and flew right back to Jak. It was at that moment Oskar walked in. He didn't have the magical energy to revive Jak, so I suggested he funnel what he could of his magical energy through my ring of spell storing. I dumped the mirror image spell Quinn had never used, to make sure Oskar had room. It worked!
Then Bex's face began molding to Jak's, so he quickly ripped it off and handed it to her. Oskar was able to heal her enough that her skin regrew- and she not had a horribly misshapen sack of skin that was her old face. Bex was convinced Jak had done that to her, which was not even a little possible. Jak said it was a witch, which made perfect sense.
We needed to find a place to hole up, so Oskar took that book of Jak's and tried to make a deal with it... it somehow made Oskar banish it. I quickly flipped through the magic books I'd found, and found one of them was a portfolio of scrolls. It had teleportation circle in it, but I didn't recognize the symbols listed for the cities there- they definitely were not Baldur's Gate or Friendly Arm Inn. I asked the others which one to choose, so Oskar ripped the scroll out of my hand and cast it.
After a moment, we found ourselves back in Luskan. Unfortunately our travels moved us to much closer to sunset. We only had a few minutes to get Sylvia to a temple. I boosted Jak's speed and shrunk Oskar so he could fit on Jak, and they went running with the unconscious Sylvia to the temple. Oskar was able to get Sylvia resurrected just before the sun sank over the hills, saving her from turning.
Before settling down to rest, Oskar set up the ritual to attempt to bring Quinn back to life. Jak and I had to aid him with the ritual, and we had to make offerings to Moradin. Oskar put forth a bunch of money and used Steve as a focus. I put Steve's ink on Quinn's Neptunian Trident, and told a story about our adventures- before Wave. Then it was Jak's turn, and he started speaking in a vile language that turned the warm, mithril light of Moradin that was shining on us in the circle, red. When he was done, Quinn was nothing but a smoking corpse. Oskar burned her body, and we all went to rest. I spent the rest of our time repairing Bumbersnoot to bring my poor puppy back.
Considering how useless I'd been in that battle, I've come to the conclusion that I should begin studying wizardry. That way if I'm ever stuck without my stuff and my dog again, I'll have spells that can actually hurt people. I can even make the clockwork ladybug I'd been designing, and make it my familiar.
Jak's twisting of the ritual turned Quinn into a revenant. She was brought back to "life" at the end of the party's rest, and awoke confused.
We were sitting around the breakfast table, when we heard a voice call out. Gill was the only one not at the table, but it didn't sound quite right to him. When the owner of the voice came around the corner, it was Quinn. Jak charged her instantly, began beating on her, and broke his hand on the wall. I thought she might be a revenant, but she'd gone feral while Jak was pummeling her, so we had to knock her out again. I wondered if I could use a stunning shot with NATAS, instead of one that may kill, and she instantly confirmed that I could. I shot her, then Bumbersnoot bit and tripped her. Quinn savagely ripped into Jak's leg with her teeth; then Oskar began throwing hammers at her. Carmina beat the shit out of her, and then Jak dropped her; then he started speaking in tongues again, and his wounds closed. I told Oskar I thought she was a revenant, so we should revive her, and he yelled "undead is undead" at me. There was no reasoning with him right now.
Oskar performed last rites for Quinn, and when he pulled Steve out for them, Steve was undead too! We killed the octopus quickly, and added him to the pyre. Before leaving we gathered Quinn's things and divvied them as needed. We left her bag of devouring in the mansion with her, since Oskar did not want it. When we stepped out, Jak closed the mansion, which I wish he hadn't done, it would give us a place to fall back to later if need be. At least this time I have my dog and my stuff, so I'll be effective in this battle/rescue mission. Finding Sylvia was our sole objective and priority. Though Oskar really wanted to kill Ctenmiir too.
Outside of the mansion was pure darkness, and it was cold. Oskar tried to dispel the darkness, but he was unable to. We began deliberating- something we should have done in the safety of the mansion, but the undead genasi interrupted that. Jak and Gill decided to sneak into the coffin room to stake as many vampires as they could before the sun went down in a couple of hours. As we discussed this a cackle rang out through the cavern, echoing on the walls and making it impossible for us to figure out where it came from.
We were almost to the doors at that point, and then Jak called that he saw movement up ahead. I shot at it with NATAS and managed to hit whatever the Hells it was. Oskar called out "hold your" and then began spewing blood. It was hella gross. Jak charged the figures as more shapes appeared in the darkness to the right of Bumbersnoot and I. Two of them hit me, so Bumbersnoot bit and tripped one, and then together we finished it off.
I saw Oskar's hammer go whizzing behind Bumbersnoot and I, followed by a flash of radiant light, as he hit one that was approaching us from behind. I could just make out Jak moving through the people attacking us, so I think he was doing okay at keeping the attackers at bay. I wasn't sure what was after us, since it was daylight out. Another guy hit me, so Bumbersnoot killed it, only for another to take its place. Something attempted to charm me, I barely shook it off. I had Bumbersnoot use his lightning breath on our attackers- that breath is hella cool. I'm so glad the Coldfire Initiative gave it to me. I felt a spell try to take hold of me as a single tear of blood rolled down my cheek, making me cringe; it was hella gross.
Among the human thralls that were attacking the party, was Bex. She was near the back, holding a rusty greataxe, when suddenly her mind cleared, and she shook off the vampire's charm that had made her a thrall. She had no memory of her time as a thrall, so unclear of her surroundings, she asked those near her what was going on; but none could answer her.
The vampire swung at me, and got its arm caught on Bumbersnoot, he bit it, but I missed. The vamp grabbed me and bit into my neck. Bumbersnoot bit at him, and I shot him with my Daring Sir, but I couldn't break out, I just wasn't strong enough. It took another bite of me, and Bumbersnoot bit it again, I hoped he'd get it off of me, but he wasn't able to break its hold on him. I could just make out Carmina and Oskar trying to help, but the vamp had a hard grip on me. Then some woman appeared and grabbed Oskar, and they both vanished.
Then a hella enormous woman appeared in rags and holding a rusty greataxe, I thought she was a thrall until she hit the vampire. Jak rushed the vampire after that, and then the vampire fucking bit me again to replenish itself, or because it's a douche. Could be either one really. When its teeth sunk deeper into my flesh, Bumbersnoot bit it again, tripping it, and it ran away. A thrall came up behind me and hit me, so Bumbersnoot and I killed it.
Amara yelled for Oskar to get his ass back here, and he suddenly reappeared. He tried to mime something to us, since he was still spewing blood, but we couldn't really tell what he was trying to say. With all of the thralls dead, we just had to wait for Oskar to regain speech. The enormous woman began bleeding from her eyes, and the Gill and Jak started getting pelted with magic missiles. Oskar finally regained speech, and Gill began swinging his ax around blindly, smashing a table. Jak went to break the cauldron in the blood room, since we figured that was what had been making everyone bleed.
Gill suddenly went limp, and we could just make out a figure holding onto him. Bex- the enormous woman- got a good grip on the shadow before it could run away, thankfully. I revived Gill and used Bumbersnoot's new lantern eyes to look at the hallway- the fucking doors were shut again. The vampire hadn't gone through the door, it grabbed Gill as soon as healed him, and bolted. Bumbersnoot and I followed, but I missed my shot with NATAS. Gill went limp again, but Amara revived him. The vampire started dragging the conscious and struggling boy away, so Bumbersnoot and I tried to grab Gill, but we weren't able to get him fast enough. Oskar joined our pursuit of Gill, just as Gill unloaded every charge of his frost ax into the vampire. As Bumbersnoot and I caught up to them again, I heard the vampire tell Gill to quit struggling. Bumbersnoot's teeth snapped closed on the air, and NATAS malfunctioned again.
Gill went limp again, and Oskar began speaking gibberish; but he stopped as soon as Amara told him to. She's good at that. The vampire took off with Gill again, and it made it through the doors again. When Bumbersnoot and I saw that, I had him lower his head and bust down the doors. His forehead was a little dented, but those doors wouldn't be getting shut again anytime soon. Oskar went barreling down the hall after the vampire, and I knew someone with a clear head needed to follow him, so I went after him, calling to the girls to go get Jak, he'd been gone for a while now. Bex went after him instead.
When I caught up to Oskar he told me to go down the hall to the left, and that fucking vampire dropped down on top of me. Amara- having ignored me- yelled at me to break free, and I struggled harder, but still couldn't do it. The damned vampire bit me- I was getting hella fed up with being bitten- and Bumbersnoot twisted around and ripped it off of me. I dropped an acid beetle on the vampire and hit it with my quickrazor. Carmina stabbed it and it turned into mist; Amara called to Oskar to do something, so he cast daylight and the vampire turned into ash.
We went into the room the vampire had been guarding, and it was filled with sarcophagi, we hoped Gill was in here. I pushed open one and it was completely empty. Carmina and Amara shoved open another one so hard the lid flew across the room. Inside was a body wrapped in a burial shroud- it was Sylvia! Now we just had to find Gill. The next one I opened had another body in it... it was a fucking vampire spawn that grabbed me and attempted to bite me. I managed to wriggle free, and Oskar and Bumbersnoot killed it. The next one Oskar opened had a spawn in it too- we killed it quickly. Oskar found Gill after that. Now we could get the Hells out of here.
While Oskar and the girls tended to Gill and Sylvia, I went to find Jak. He appeared dead, and was wearing Bex's face... Bex herself didn't have a face, and was unconscious. I revived her, and she immediately jumped up and ripped her face off of Jak. It wriggled free of her grasp and flew right back to Jak. It was at that moment Oskar walked in. He didn't have the magical energy to revive Jak, so I suggested he funnel what he could of his magical energy through my ring of spell storing. I dumped the mirror image spell Quinn had never used, to make sure Oskar had room. It worked!
Then Bex's face began molding to Jak's, so he quickly ripped it off and handed it to her. Oskar was able to heal her enough that her skin regrew- and she not had a horribly misshapen sack of skin that was her old face. Bex was convinced Jak had done that to her, which was not even a little possible. Jak said it was a witch, which made perfect sense.
We needed to find a place to hole up, so Oskar took that book of Jak's and tried to make a deal with it... it somehow made Oskar banish it. I quickly flipped through the magic books I'd found, and found one of them was a portfolio of scrolls. It had teleportation circle in it, but I didn't recognize the symbols listed for the cities there- they definitely were not Baldur's Gate or Friendly Arm Inn. I asked the others which one to choose, so Oskar ripped the scroll out of my hand and cast it.
After a moment, we found ourselves back in Luskan. Unfortunately our travels moved us to much closer to sunset. We only had a few minutes to get Sylvia to a temple. I boosted Jak's speed and shrunk Oskar so he could fit on Jak, and they went running with the unconscious Sylvia to the temple. Oskar was able to get Sylvia resurrected just before the sun sank over the hills, saving her from turning.
Monday, November 13, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: A Yawning Portal Novella (Book One), Chapter Eleven
When Good Genasi Go Bad
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress
Steve, Quinn's Octopus familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Knight
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Rogue
Carmina, the Human Knight
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Rogue
Gill O'Darby, the Human Ranger
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Mirtul 6, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Somewhere in the Sea of Swords
Oskar told us that we were in cavern near the sea, we were just above sea level, he could just make out the sound of waves hitting the cavern. We were trying to figure out how exactly to escape, but since we were pretty badly wounded, we needed to rest before we could do anything.
After several hours, a group of figures appeared outside of our cell, and told us that their lord had requested the presence of some of us. They took three of the crewmen, Oskar, and Sylvia.
Oskar's group was led to a throne room, and a pale female sea elf was perched on it, flanked by giants. Oskar and Sylvia were stopped at the throne, but they crewmen were taken to a separate area, where there were already several crewmen being held. The woman told Oskar that the group had been caught in her waters, and that Ctenmiir- the dwarf who had been guarding Whelm in White Plume Mountain- had told her that Oskar had stolen Whelm from him, and he wanted to know where Oskar had hidden it.
She would be letting Ctenmiir deal with Oskar, and if he cooperated they might let him live. The ship and crew were hers now. Oskar asked what they wanted in Sylvia, and the elf told him that Sylvia's father was looking for her, and was very unhappy that she'd been kidnapped- implying that the party had kidnapped her. Oskar told the elf that they had already buried her father, but the elf said that the man wasn't actually their father, Lord Neverember was and he has a bounty out for Sylvia.
Oskar said he hadn't kidnapped Sylvia, he'd just been taking care of her, which Sylvia readily confirmed. The elf said that she would make sure Sylvia was returned to her father safely. Oskar attempted to explain that he goes where she goes, and was told if he survived Ctenmiir, they might permit that.
Oskar saw one of the crew members being drug into another room, and heard chanting and screaming, before he emerged as a skeleton. After that Oskar and Sylvia were taken back to the cell, and Oskar was warned to behave, or something would happen to Amara and Carmina.
While Oskar and Sylvia were gone, Jak worked on getting himself free of the shackles. I tried to get myself free, or at least to grind enough powdered iron off mine that I could cast an enlargement spell. I hadn't been put in the shackles that prevented spell casting- I'd been unconscious for the majority of the battle, and since I've got weapons, I think they thought I was a fighter type. When I tried to grind the powdered iron off, I was reminded of my lack of physical strength, that was Bumbersnoot's department. I gave up before I hurt myself and hoped Jak would be more successful than I was- which, he was.
By the time Oskar and Sylvia were brought back to us- without the crew members who'd been taken with them- Jak had broken free. The great thing was, as soon as they got back, Sylvia started picking the locks on our cuffs. We had nothing we could do except bide our time, we were all still drained from the earlier battle.
After several hours, the hall outside our cell got hazy for a moment, like when looking through a hot desert, and a dwarf appeared, wearing all of Oskar's gear. He demanded Oskar tell him where Whelm is, and he simply could not believe that Oskar would get rid of that ax. Oskar tried to explain to him that we'd been hired to find it for the Coldfire Initiative, and that he'd given it to our employers, but this dude didn't believe him. He told Oskar to come out and talk to him, and Oskar's demeanor changed- then he was shrouded in darkness, and we heard the door open and close. Not only was Oskar gone, but so was Sylvia.
With both of them gone we needed to get out of here, so I grabbed lockpicks from Bumbersnoot's hidden compartment, and started working on the door... and I broke my fucking lockpick off in the stupid door. Since my air forge spell doesn't require any materials, I cast it on the door to the cell, heating the metal so we could get it open. There was a second door down a short hallway, which we'd heard squeak before, so I got some oil from Bumbersnoot's alchemy jug to lubricate the door before heating it up. Unfortunately the skeleton guards noticed, so Quinn hit both of them with ice bolts.
I wasn't much use in combat without my dog or my stuff, so I had to stay mostly out of combat range, just using what little healing I was capable of to keep people up. At first it seemed like the fight was going okayish, since we had a lot of people on our side. But then Quinn blinked.
Ctenmiir had charmed Oskar to get him to talk, but Moradin broke the charm, allowing Oskar to attack the vampire. Things would have gone well if Sylvia hadn't decided to follow Oskar. Ctenmiir caught her just as she reached for a dagger on his belt, and put her in front of him as a shield, and vanished. Oskar went after the now invisible Ctenmiir, but Weston- the ship's mage- hit him with Tasha's hideous laughter, and got between Oskar and Ctenmiir, slowing down the infuriated holy man once he'd shaken free of the spell.
Quinn reappeared in hybrid form and attacked the nearest crew member, killing him before vanishing again. Quinn had been turned into vampire spawn after the party had been taken captive, and had been put in place as a sleeper agent. Once she'd blinked, a hag had activated her, allowing her to begin working against the crew. After another few seconds, Jak called out that Quinn had gone feral, so now we'd have to put her down. Temporarily anyway. One of the crew crumpled at my feet, so I was able to revive him. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to do much of this, I have hella limited magic energy, and what little I'd already done was quickly draining me.
When Quinn next appeared she did a thunderwave at the crew. Apparently she can still do magic when she's feral, which I didn't think was possible. As much as I loathe cowardice, I tried to keep hidden in the hallway that leads to our cell, it seemed the only safe place for me. I cursed at myself for not learning more combative magic. When Quinn next appeared, she hit me, Amara, Gill, and a crew member with her ice bolts. Apparently she'd decided to go for easier targets, instead of those who were actually doing things in the battle. I thought that being feral made you a savage beast, incapable of higher thought, which should make you unable to cast spells. Something was off about Quinn being feral.
I used the last of my magical energy healing Carmina, and ducked around a corner. Glimmering spots had begun dancing in my vision, and my head was pounding. I hoped this fight ended soon. I was a sitting duck now. Quinn's next appearance made her seem even more feral. She didn't seem to be able to cast magic after that, and was instead mauling what few crew members we had left alive with her razor-sharp claws.
After what felt like forever, we were finally down to a single skeleton and Quinn, who was trading blows with Jak. The skeleton dropped Gill, so I braved going out in the open to stabilize him. He didn't need it though, he was just unconscious. I called to Carmina to get him out of sight, and in doing so, drew attention to myself. I got shot by a crossbow for my efforts. There was a pretty clear shot to the other doors in the room though, and I had a feeling my stuff was behind one of them. Carmina came out and shattered the final skeleton.
Jak was still beating on Quinn, and he now gripped her in a Bigby's Hand. She broke out, but he managed to grab her again. Quinn broke out again, and went to run, Jak grabbed at her and stumbled, she punched him, and he went down. Carmina dropped her as she ran for the doors, then checked her pulse and announced that Quinn was dead. I was having some trouble stabilizing Jak, but after a moment I got it.
Then Quinn got back up and ran smack into Oskar. Carmina yelled out in surprise, since Quinn had definitely been dead when she checked her pulse, chased her and finished her off. With all of our visible enemies- and Quinn- down, I focused on the silvery dots on my hand that lined up with NATAS, focused on them, and tried to call to her. After a few seconds, I sensed where she was. As Carmina barricaded the doors, I went to collect our belongings; though neither Oskar's or Quinn's gear was in the pile.
After our items were found, Oskar removed the barricade, and said he and Jak would go look for Sylvia; then somehow, they decided it would be Jak and Gill, since he's stealthier than Oskar. They found several pools of blood, and a chest that contained Oskar's stuff- except for his armor and shield, which Ctenmiir had been using. Then Jak and Oskar went to check on the vampire's thralls, and Jak woke up the sleeping vampires... We had to rapidly barricade the doors again.
Jak and I inspected the huge bookcase behind the remains of the throne, and he found a bunch of books in Abyssal, one of which made him start speaking Abyssal, and suddenly the opening to a magic mansion appeared before us. We drug our wounded bodies, along with Bumbersnoot and Quinn's bodies, into the mansion to sleep securely.
Oskar told us that we were in cavern near the sea, we were just above sea level, he could just make out the sound of waves hitting the cavern. We were trying to figure out how exactly to escape, but since we were pretty badly wounded, we needed to rest before we could do anything.
After several hours, a group of figures appeared outside of our cell, and told us that their lord had requested the presence of some of us. They took three of the crewmen, Oskar, and Sylvia.
Oskar's group was led to a throne room, and a pale female sea elf was perched on it, flanked by giants. Oskar and Sylvia were stopped at the throne, but they crewmen were taken to a separate area, where there were already several crewmen being held. The woman told Oskar that the group had been caught in her waters, and that Ctenmiir- the dwarf who had been guarding Whelm in White Plume Mountain- had told her that Oskar had stolen Whelm from him, and he wanted to know where Oskar had hidden it.
She would be letting Ctenmiir deal with Oskar, and if he cooperated they might let him live. The ship and crew were hers now. Oskar asked what they wanted in Sylvia, and the elf told him that Sylvia's father was looking for her, and was very unhappy that she'd been kidnapped- implying that the party had kidnapped her. Oskar told the elf that they had already buried her father, but the elf said that the man wasn't actually their father, Lord Neverember was and he has a bounty out for Sylvia.
Oskar said he hadn't kidnapped Sylvia, he'd just been taking care of her, which Sylvia readily confirmed. The elf said that she would make sure Sylvia was returned to her father safely. Oskar attempted to explain that he goes where she goes, and was told if he survived Ctenmiir, they might permit that.
Oskar saw one of the crew members being drug into another room, and heard chanting and screaming, before he emerged as a skeleton. After that Oskar and Sylvia were taken back to the cell, and Oskar was warned to behave, or something would happen to Amara and Carmina.
While Oskar and Sylvia were gone, Jak worked on getting himself free of the shackles. I tried to get myself free, or at least to grind enough powdered iron off mine that I could cast an enlargement spell. I hadn't been put in the shackles that prevented spell casting- I'd been unconscious for the majority of the battle, and since I've got weapons, I think they thought I was a fighter type. When I tried to grind the powdered iron off, I was reminded of my lack of physical strength, that was Bumbersnoot's department. I gave up before I hurt myself and hoped Jak would be more successful than I was- which, he was.
By the time Oskar and Sylvia were brought back to us- without the crew members who'd been taken with them- Jak had broken free. The great thing was, as soon as they got back, Sylvia started picking the locks on our cuffs. We had nothing we could do except bide our time, we were all still drained from the earlier battle.
After several hours, the hall outside our cell got hazy for a moment, like when looking through a hot desert, and a dwarf appeared, wearing all of Oskar's gear. He demanded Oskar tell him where Whelm is, and he simply could not believe that Oskar would get rid of that ax. Oskar tried to explain to him that we'd been hired to find it for the Coldfire Initiative, and that he'd given it to our employers, but this dude didn't believe him. He told Oskar to come out and talk to him, and Oskar's demeanor changed- then he was shrouded in darkness, and we heard the door open and close. Not only was Oskar gone, but so was Sylvia.
With both of them gone we needed to get out of here, so I grabbed lockpicks from Bumbersnoot's hidden compartment, and started working on the door... and I broke my fucking lockpick off in the stupid door. Since my air forge spell doesn't require any materials, I cast it on the door to the cell, heating the metal so we could get it open. There was a second door down a short hallway, which we'd heard squeak before, so I got some oil from Bumbersnoot's alchemy jug to lubricate the door before heating it up. Unfortunately the skeleton guards noticed, so Quinn hit both of them with ice bolts.
I wasn't much use in combat without my dog or my stuff, so I had to stay mostly out of combat range, just using what little healing I was capable of to keep people up. At first it seemed like the fight was going okayish, since we had a lot of people on our side. But then Quinn blinked.
Ctenmiir had charmed Oskar to get him to talk, but Moradin broke the charm, allowing Oskar to attack the vampire. Things would have gone well if Sylvia hadn't decided to follow Oskar. Ctenmiir caught her just as she reached for a dagger on his belt, and put her in front of him as a shield, and vanished. Oskar went after the now invisible Ctenmiir, but Weston- the ship's mage- hit him with Tasha's hideous laughter, and got between Oskar and Ctenmiir, slowing down the infuriated holy man once he'd shaken free of the spell.
Quinn reappeared in hybrid form and attacked the nearest crew member, killing him before vanishing again. Quinn had been turned into vampire spawn after the party had been taken captive, and had been put in place as a sleeper agent. Once she'd blinked, a hag had activated her, allowing her to begin working against the crew. After another few seconds, Jak called out that Quinn had gone feral, so now we'd have to put her down. Temporarily anyway. One of the crew crumpled at my feet, so I was able to revive him. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to do much of this, I have hella limited magic energy, and what little I'd already done was quickly draining me.
When Quinn next appeared she did a thunderwave at the crew. Apparently she can still do magic when she's feral, which I didn't think was possible. As much as I loathe cowardice, I tried to keep hidden in the hallway that leads to our cell, it seemed the only safe place for me. I cursed at myself for not learning more combative magic. When Quinn next appeared, she hit me, Amara, Gill, and a crew member with her ice bolts. Apparently she'd decided to go for easier targets, instead of those who were actually doing things in the battle. I thought that being feral made you a savage beast, incapable of higher thought, which should make you unable to cast spells. Something was off about Quinn being feral.
I used the last of my magical energy healing Carmina, and ducked around a corner. Glimmering spots had begun dancing in my vision, and my head was pounding. I hoped this fight ended soon. I was a sitting duck now. Quinn's next appearance made her seem even more feral. She didn't seem to be able to cast magic after that, and was instead mauling what few crew members we had left alive with her razor-sharp claws.
After what felt like forever, we were finally down to a single skeleton and Quinn, who was trading blows with Jak. The skeleton dropped Gill, so I braved going out in the open to stabilize him. He didn't need it though, he was just unconscious. I called to Carmina to get him out of sight, and in doing so, drew attention to myself. I got shot by a crossbow for my efforts. There was a pretty clear shot to the other doors in the room though, and I had a feeling my stuff was behind one of them. Carmina came out and shattered the final skeleton.
Jak was still beating on Quinn, and he now gripped her in a Bigby's Hand. She broke out, but he managed to grab her again. Quinn broke out again, and went to run, Jak grabbed at her and stumbled, she punched him, and he went down. Carmina dropped her as she ran for the doors, then checked her pulse and announced that Quinn was dead. I was having some trouble stabilizing Jak, but after a moment I got it.
Then Quinn got back up and ran smack into Oskar. Carmina yelled out in surprise, since Quinn had definitely been dead when she checked her pulse, chased her and finished her off. With all of our visible enemies- and Quinn- down, I focused on the silvery dots on my hand that lined up with NATAS, focused on them, and tried to call to her. After a few seconds, I sensed where she was. As Carmina barricaded the doors, I went to collect our belongings; though neither Oskar's or Quinn's gear was in the pile.
After our items were found, Oskar removed the barricade, and said he and Jak would go look for Sylvia; then somehow, they decided it would be Jak and Gill, since he's stealthier than Oskar. They found several pools of blood, and a chest that contained Oskar's stuff- except for his armor and shield, which Ctenmiir had been using. Then Jak and Oskar went to check on the vampire's thralls, and Jak woke up the sleeping vampires... We had to rapidly barricade the doors again.
Jak and I inspected the huge bookcase behind the remains of the throne, and he found a bunch of books in Abyssal, one of which made him start speaking Abyssal, and suddenly the opening to a magic mansion appeared before us. We drug our wounded bodies, along with Bumbersnoot and Quinn's bodies, into the mansion to sleep securely.
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Monday, November 6, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: A Yawning Portal Novella (Book One), Chapter Ten
The Storm
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress
Steve, Quinn's Octopus familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
Gil, the Human Farm Boy
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
Gil, the Human Farm Boy
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Tarsakh 28, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Luskan
Before heading to our ship in the morning, we decided to hit the shops really quick. I grabbed a ton of brass, bronze, and copper for an experiment I had in mind- I think I may be able to create a healing potion for Bumbersnoot, using the metals he's made of and the magic I use to repair him. It was expensive, but hella worth it.
Quinn decided she needed a bigger bag of holding for Steve, and beat me to the only shop that had one. I was annoyed at first, but it turns out she had a bag of devouring instead. Steve got sucked into it, and she got sucked in right after, but Jak pulled her out. Quinn frantically turned the bag inside out, sending a mini wave splashing out, right in the middle of the street. Much to her relief, the octopus hadn't been sucked into the bag yet. Quinn tossed it onto the street and Oskar whacked it with his hammer.
A bit after that, we headed to the ship and set sail for Waterdeep. Quinn bunked with the crew, and the rest of us bunked together in a state room. My hammer of warning didn't go off in the middle of the night, but at the time that it was supposed to go off, we heard commotion in another part of the ship- Wave had still gone off. Oskar confronted Quinn, but she had no idea what about her would be doing it. Wave was quiet after that night, he didn't raise alarm again during our journey.
***** Greengrass Holiday, Sea of Swords
Quinn started having nightmares, and wasn't getting any rest while she slept- she ended up spending the entire day asleep. I wonder if whatever was setting our weapons of warning off was what was doing it to her.
***** Mirtul 1, Sea of Swords
A heavy rain began to fall today, it looked like a storm was starting up. Quinn's nightmares persisted.
***** Mirtul 2, Sea of Swords
The storm got worse today, and two crewmen actually went overboard. Oskar spotted a storm giant playing in the distance, but it didn't come near us, thankfully.
I finished my experiment on making a healing potion for Bumbersnoot! Now I have a way of healing my baby during battle!
***** Mirtul, 3, Sea of Swords
Oskar said that the storm giant seemed closer to us today, as the storm raged on. But it never engaged us, thankfully.
Jak was itching to punch things, he'd gone too long without killing anything. Weston, the ship's mage, let Jak kill his familiar, which made Jak happy, even though it didn't curve his lust for violence.
***** Mirtul 4, Sea of Swords
The storm intensified, it was nearly a hurricane now. I couldn't even work on my projects, with as rocky as it was. It was also colder now, it had been a humid storm up until now.
Quinn was a mess. She hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in several days now. Oskar gave her a dose of drow sleep poison to knock her out and prevent her from dreaming. That kinda backfired. She ended up practically comatose, and didn't wake up at all today.
***** Mirtul 5, Sea of Swords
The storm was a full blown hurricane today.
Oskar managed to clear up Quinn's nightmares, and she finally got some sleep. She awoke at the right time too.
We were sailing in the rocky waters, when suddenly the water calmed completely. The storm was gone, the sky was clear, and there was no movement of the water or wind. There was a fog swirling around the ship, and one of the crew called out that he could see another ship in the distance. That didn't fucking sound good.
Oskar and Jak decided to go investigate, Jak swam and Oskar flew. We could hear splashes around us, but we couldn't see what they were doing, or make out any real details of the ship. When the ships finally got close enough for us to see what was on them, we discovered the ships were full of undead; there were two ships, moving to flank us.
A voice rang out as the ships moved into position that if we them the "fish sticker" and the crew, they'd consider letting us live. I had a feeling Wave was the fish sticker they were referring to- that stupid trident has brought us nothing but trouble.
Oskar dropped a fuckton of skeletons on one of the ships right away, and I blew up the hag on the other ship with NATAS' charged plasma shot. Quinn was dropped instantly by another hag. Then a vampire grabbed me, and though Bumbersnoot tried to yank him off of me, it didn't work. The vampire quickly drained me and I slipped into unconsciousness.
The others told me bits and pieces of what happened during the fight after that:
The ship's crew began dropping slowly, one by one. Bumbersnoot ran around our ship, taking out undead as he went, and trying to get me to Oskar. Bumbersnoot spent a lot of the fight with the girls, helping them take out the undead that approached them.
As the fight raged on, a much larger ship arrived which Oskar said was an ice giant great ship, and it looked like it had been sunk... it was full of fucking undead giants. In a few moments, they grappled our ship.
Quinn had been revived at some point during the fight, and she was charmed by a vampire to give it Wave. The giant ship managed to knock over our mast somehow, and it fell on Quinn, dropping her again. Weston tried to create a current for us to get away, but with no mast or wind, and being grappled by the enormous ship, it didn't work as well as he'd hoped. Weston kept at it though, hoping it would work and free us before we all died.
Jak had gotten in the water, and found himself swarmed by vampiranhas- vampire piranhas. I thought they were fucking with me when they told me that, but Jak insisted he was quite serious. An explosion on one of the smaller ships broke us free of that one, but we were still grappled by the big one. The skeletons were approaching quickly- so the group decided to go below deck to get some cover and bottle neck the invaders on the stairs. They heard some gears and whooshing- it sounded like they'd taken our entire ship on board of the giant ship.
Oskar revived me just before a red mist began seeping down into the hold where we were. The rest of the group who was still alive began falling unconscious from the red mist. Within seconds everyone except Oskar, Jak, Bumbersnoot, and I were down. I helped us find some secret compartments to stash our people in, and just as we were finishing, I succumbed to the mist.
Oskar began throwing insults out at their unseen foes, and his mouth filled with blood- he couldn't speak for one minute. Jak was grappled by drenched hair, so all three of them attacked the woman who the hair was attached to. Critical Bumbersnoot took a big chunk out of the woman, and Oskar and Jak got some good hits in as well.
The hag peeled off half of Jak's face, and it floated to her, attaching itself to her face. It now looked like there were two Jaks. Oskar and Bumbersnoot went for her again- the mechanimal was confused about who to attack, so he followed Oskar's lead. The hag did something that made fluids begin leaking from everyone- including Bumbersnoot; so Bumbersnoot tripped her.
The scuffle continued for a few more seconds, with Jak going down, then Bumbersnoot, and finally Oskar.
***** Sometime later...
I came to in my small clothes, in a large cell with everyone, apparently none of the crew or group were dead. We were all shackled to the walls, and Bumbersnoot was inactive in a heap in the corner of the cell.
We could hear someone shouting in dwarvish that Whelm was his, and he wanted to torture Oskar until he told him where it was. That didn't sound fucking good.
Before heading to our ship in the morning, we decided to hit the shops really quick. I grabbed a ton of brass, bronze, and copper for an experiment I had in mind- I think I may be able to create a healing potion for Bumbersnoot, using the metals he's made of and the magic I use to repair him. It was expensive, but hella worth it.
Quinn decided she needed a bigger bag of holding for Steve, and beat me to the only shop that had one. I was annoyed at first, but it turns out she had a bag of devouring instead. Steve got sucked into it, and she got sucked in right after, but Jak pulled her out. Quinn frantically turned the bag inside out, sending a mini wave splashing out, right in the middle of the street. Much to her relief, the octopus hadn't been sucked into the bag yet. Quinn tossed it onto the street and Oskar whacked it with his hammer.
A bit after that, we headed to the ship and set sail for Waterdeep. Quinn bunked with the crew, and the rest of us bunked together in a state room. My hammer of warning didn't go off in the middle of the night, but at the time that it was supposed to go off, we heard commotion in another part of the ship- Wave had still gone off. Oskar confronted Quinn, but she had no idea what about her would be doing it. Wave was quiet after that night, he didn't raise alarm again during our journey.
***** Greengrass Holiday, Sea of Swords
Quinn started having nightmares, and wasn't getting any rest while she slept- she ended up spending the entire day asleep. I wonder if whatever was setting our weapons of warning off was what was doing it to her.
***** Mirtul 1, Sea of Swords
A heavy rain began to fall today, it looked like a storm was starting up. Quinn's nightmares persisted.
***** Mirtul 2, Sea of Swords
The storm got worse today, and two crewmen actually went overboard. Oskar spotted a storm giant playing in the distance, but it didn't come near us, thankfully.
I finished my experiment on making a healing potion for Bumbersnoot! Now I have a way of healing my baby during battle!
***** Mirtul, 3, Sea of Swords
Oskar said that the storm giant seemed closer to us today, as the storm raged on. But it never engaged us, thankfully.
Jak was itching to punch things, he'd gone too long without killing anything. Weston, the ship's mage, let Jak kill his familiar, which made Jak happy, even though it didn't curve his lust for violence.
***** Mirtul 4, Sea of Swords
The storm intensified, it was nearly a hurricane now. I couldn't even work on my projects, with as rocky as it was. It was also colder now, it had been a humid storm up until now.
Quinn was a mess. She hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in several days now. Oskar gave her a dose of drow sleep poison to knock her out and prevent her from dreaming. That kinda backfired. She ended up practically comatose, and didn't wake up at all today.
***** Mirtul 5, Sea of Swords
The storm was a full blown hurricane today.
Oskar managed to clear up Quinn's nightmares, and she finally got some sleep. She awoke at the right time too.
We were sailing in the rocky waters, when suddenly the water calmed completely. The storm was gone, the sky was clear, and there was no movement of the water or wind. There was a fog swirling around the ship, and one of the crew called out that he could see another ship in the distance. That didn't fucking sound good.
Oskar and Jak decided to go investigate, Jak swam and Oskar flew. We could hear splashes around us, but we couldn't see what they were doing, or make out any real details of the ship. When the ships finally got close enough for us to see what was on them, we discovered the ships were full of undead; there were two ships, moving to flank us.
A voice rang out as the ships moved into position that if we them the "fish sticker" and the crew, they'd consider letting us live. I had a feeling Wave was the fish sticker they were referring to- that stupid trident has brought us nothing but trouble.
Oskar dropped a fuckton of skeletons on one of the ships right away, and I blew up the hag on the other ship with NATAS' charged plasma shot. Quinn was dropped instantly by another hag. Then a vampire grabbed me, and though Bumbersnoot tried to yank him off of me, it didn't work. The vampire quickly drained me and I slipped into unconsciousness.
The others told me bits and pieces of what happened during the fight after that:
The ship's crew began dropping slowly, one by one. Bumbersnoot ran around our ship, taking out undead as he went, and trying to get me to Oskar. Bumbersnoot spent a lot of the fight with the girls, helping them take out the undead that approached them.
As the fight raged on, a much larger ship arrived which Oskar said was an ice giant great ship, and it looked like it had been sunk... it was full of fucking undead giants. In a few moments, they grappled our ship.
Quinn had been revived at some point during the fight, and she was charmed by a vampire to give it Wave. The giant ship managed to knock over our mast somehow, and it fell on Quinn, dropping her again. Weston tried to create a current for us to get away, but with no mast or wind, and being grappled by the enormous ship, it didn't work as well as he'd hoped. Weston kept at it though, hoping it would work and free us before we all died.
Jak had gotten in the water, and found himself swarmed by vampiranhas- vampire piranhas. I thought they were fucking with me when they told me that, but Jak insisted he was quite serious. An explosion on one of the smaller ships broke us free of that one, but we were still grappled by the big one. The skeletons were approaching quickly- so the group decided to go below deck to get some cover and bottle neck the invaders on the stairs. They heard some gears and whooshing- it sounded like they'd taken our entire ship on board of the giant ship.
Oskar revived me just before a red mist began seeping down into the hold where we were. The rest of the group who was still alive began falling unconscious from the red mist. Within seconds everyone except Oskar, Jak, Bumbersnoot, and I were down. I helped us find some secret compartments to stash our people in, and just as we were finishing, I succumbed to the mist.
Oskar began throwing insults out at their unseen foes, and his mouth filled with blood- he couldn't speak for one minute. Jak was grappled by drenched hair, so all three of them attacked the woman who the hair was attached to. Critical Bumbersnoot took a big chunk out of the woman, and Oskar and Jak got some good hits in as well.
The hag peeled off half of Jak's face, and it floated to her, attaching itself to her face. It now looked like there were two Jaks. Oskar and Bumbersnoot went for her again- the mechanimal was confused about who to attack, so he followed Oskar's lead. The hag did something that made fluids begin leaking from everyone- including Bumbersnoot; so Bumbersnoot tripped her.
The scuffle continued for a few more seconds, with Jak going down, then Bumbersnoot, and finally Oskar.
***** Sometime later...
I came to in my small clothes, in a large cell with everyone, apparently none of the crew or group were dead. We were all shackled to the walls, and Bumbersnoot was inactive in a heap in the corner of the cell.
We could hear someone shouting in dwarvish that Whelm was his, and he wanted to torture Oskar until he told him where it was. That didn't sound fucking good.
Monday, October 30, 2017
The Mantles of the Knights of the Fae
Sometimes, the party needs aid from the fae enough to make a huge deal with them. In these instances, you can grant your players a Mantle that makes them a Knight of a specific fae. These are the Mantles we've created.
This was created at The Homebrewery, an amazing resource for people who make their own content.
Monday, October 23, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: A Yawning Portal Novella, Chapter Nine
Troublesome Travels
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress
Steve, Quinn's Octopus familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
Gil, the Human Farm Boy
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
Gil, the Human Farm Boy
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Tarsakh 22, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), somewhere in the Crags
All of the damn oxen were killed by the giants, so Jak and Oskar had to pull the carts for us. The only person from the farm that was still alive was the boy- Gil, and after a little while he helped with the carts too. He'd lost his Uncle Fred in the fight with the giants, who was the only person he had left in the world; the rest of his family was killed when the giants first attacked his little community.
It was pretty late by the time we got back, and as we approached we heard shouts. I could make out calls of movement in the dark, before they realized it was us. A huge crowd gathered around us, asking what had happened- apparently the guy who had run away during the fight, made it back here in record time and told everyone we were all slaughtered- so not only did he abandon us, but he ensured no one would go out to try to find and help us.
The coward in question- Joe- started trying to slink away from us as the others repeated what he'd said, but Oskar saw him and grabbed him before he could get away. The moment Gil found him in the crowd, he snarled in rage and began to run at him, but Jak grabbed him before he could reach Joe. Oskar had two of the villagers grab Joe, while Jak pinned Gil for the next few minutes to calm him down. Once Gil was calmer, Oskar and I went with the villagers who had Joe, and we took him to the little shed he, Gil, and Gil's uncle had been living in. Oskar paid them to guard the place and I set some alarms so he couldn't escape unnoticed.
In the middle of the night, Wave and the hammer of warning woke us up again, for the second night in a row, and again there was nothing there. I was getting really fucking tired of this nonsense.
***** Tarsakh 23, farming village in the Crags
In the morning, Oskar asked Gil if he wanted Joe to undergo trial by combat, but after thinking about it for a bit, Gil decided he wanted Joe's punishment to be a lot longer lasting than that. He decided that Joe should revive the entire farm by himself; which is a hella worse punishment than Oskar's idea had been.
We packed ourselves up and hit the road not long after that. Gil came with us, he didn't really have anything left there, and couldn't stand the thought of sticking around. We were about 7 1/2 miles from River Mirar, which we could take to Luskan.
After about 3 hours, we spotted the river in the distance, along with some sort of outpost. There was a barge there, several guards wearing the insignia for Mirabar. When we arrived, there was a dwarf at the gate, and were allowed entrance to Mirabar's outpost. The girls all tried to hide themselves in the cowls of their cloaks, just in case any of the men hunting them were there. The last thing we needed was for them to get recognized here. We split up to find out how to gain passage on the barge.
Jak and I went to look for any merchants, Oskar went to find the quartermaster, Carmina and Amara hit the tavern, and Sylvia and Gil stayed at the wagon with our stuff; we did have some hella expensive gear in there. Jak and I were redirected to the inn where Quartermaster Jenkins was.
We reached the inn at about the same time that Carmina and Amara walked out, looking nervous. The men chasing them were here. Oskar had been told we couldn't get on the barge until tomorrow, so Jak and I went to bribe the asshole so we could leave on the barge that was about to head out. Quinn had taken a shine to the broken down barge at the docks, and managed to convince the owner, a guy named Steve, that agreed to take us to Luskan in his junk heap, if Quinn fixed it first.
We hurried to the barge, with Quinn telling us they'd meet us on the other side of the river after she fixed Steve's busted boat. As we hurried to get to the barge in time, the men who were chasing the girls came out and hollered to tell people to stop us- but they were too late. It took about an hour to get across the river, and about an hour after that we found Quinn and set sail for Luskan.
About three hours later Oskar spotted large carrion birds in the distance, in the direction we were traveling. Jak decided to go check it out, and came back to tell us he'd found a bunch of dead frost giants and humans. We decided to go check it all out together, and gave Steve a bottle of something to occupy himself while we were gone.
Jak and Oskar set to cutting off the giant toes, while I began identifying the magic on their skins and swords, and Quinn began gathering everything into a bundle to bring back with us. I'd just finished identifying the swords, but I couldn't quite tell what magic was in them, when we heard howls and hoof beats.
We saw a group of wolves and humans coming at us, Quinn squealed and dropped everything she'd gathered. Then the riders looking for the girls showed up. We were boxed in- barbarians and wolves to our left, humans on horses to our right- and our only hope was to get back to the barge before they converged on us, and that was a hella slim hope. I shrunk Quinn to put her on Bumbersnoot, since she was slowest, gave Gil and Amara expeditious retreat rabbits, and gave Sylvia a hummingbird to drink to boost her speed. Unfortunately I couldn't do anything for Carmina, four people was kinda my limit at the moment.
Amara yelled at Oskar to do something, so he summoned his spirit weapon and hit a barbarian. As he did, I noticed some of the barbarians were engaging the soldiers. Carmina stabbed one of the barbarians; I had Bumbersnoot trip one, I shot it with NATAS, and we ran to catch up to Amara and Sylvia- we would be sticking near them until they were safely on the ship, I hoped keeping us between the girls and our assailants would provide a decent target to divert attention from them. Quinn bitched that this isn't how you're supposed to run away, but those girls were the entire reason we were running, and protecting them was important. Jak began beating the shit out of a wolf, finishing it off with some encouragement from Amara.
The riders reached Oskar and Carmina then, and began helping fend off the barbarians. Oskar's spirit guardians killed a wolf, and his weapon another. I shot one of the barbarians, and suddenly NATAS announced in my head that she was at 75% functionality, the charged plasma bolt was available, and think F1 for manual. The battle raged on- with Quinn randomly attempting some mental attack on me- we were slowly falling back to the barge, keeping the barbarians at bay with help from the soldiers, who put themselves between the barbarians and us.
I decided to try that charged plasma bolt, and I managed to kill three of the four barbarians I hit with it. Then an alarm went off in my head and NATAS announced she'd overheated. Hopefully when she gets more functionality she'll stop overheating all the gods damned time. We were so close to the barge at this point, almost free. Quinn used that chaos bolt of hers, and hit Gil, Bumbersnoot, and I with acid bubbles. She's way too fucking reckless.
Gil set a sleet storm on a group of barbarians and jumped on the barge. Jak charged the wolves trying to surround Oskar, killing two in a single blow, then finishing off the third with a nasty punch. Oskar, now free of wolves, grabbed Carmina and began flying to the ship. Steve the captain had passed out, so I had Bumbersnoot jump onto the barge so Quinn could prepare us to leave as soon as everyone was on. One of the soldiers yelled at us to "protect the-" but died before he could finish his statement. Obviously one or all of those girls is noble in some way. Amara and Sylvia made it onto the barge, and Amara said we should try to wait for those soldiers. Quinn couldn't reach the soldiers with water walk, so she cast off anyway. We all sailed off, leaving those poor soldiers behind like fodder.
Oskar demanded an explanation from the girls, which they gave to him alone, and he refused to tell anyone else.
***** Tarsakh 26, Luskan
We reached Luskan unmolested, in record time, according to Quinn. Every single fucking night, right in the middle of the night, Wave and my hammer would wake us up to warn us of danger, when there was nothing present. I was getting hella sick of that shit. Wave's constant singing was also really grating on my nerves.
We were charged 100 gold for a trade permit, and taxed another 3600 for all of our magic gear. Captain Steve wasn't allowed in Luskan, apparently the drunkard had caused trouble before- it's got to be a fuck ton of trouble to be booted from fucking Luskan.
We went to One-Eyed Jax Inn, it was the most defensible, and debated our options for our next move. The girls were thinking we needed to head south next to Baldur's Gate, which is close enough to home for me that I could get us decent protection if we headed to the Friendly Arm Inn from there. We still needed to hit Neverwinter to turn in those stupid items- especially Wave- and get paid; and we needed to hit Waterdeep to give Jackass his balls. But getting the girls to safety was more important than that, we could always do that once they were safe.
We got three merchant class rooms, and put the girls in the middle, with Oskar and I in one end room, and Quinn, Jak, and Gil in the other- to get maximum distance on our weapons of warning. I put alarms on the girl's windows and door, to make sure no one could get in except us.
Again we were woken up in the middle of the fucking night. Oskar thinks it's got something to do with the girls- since this started after we met them. I planned to have detect magic on tomorrow night at this time, and watch the girl's room, to see if I see anything. Oskar was going to have detect evil up to see if that showed us anything either.
***** Tarsakh 27, One-Eyed Jax, Luskan
In the morning there was an envelope in the girl's room from the Coldfire Initiative, saying that we could turn in our weapons to the man at the bar. Oskar and Jak were more than willing to give up their weapons, but Quinn was a bit more difficult. By a bit more, I mean we had to yell at her, remind her she'd signed a contract, and then Oskar and Jak had to carry Quinn in. The stupid trident told me it knows the location of Lantan. Big fucking deal, it's on the map. I hate that stupid trident.
Whelm kept returning to Oskar's hand when he placed it in the box the innkeep presented for them to put their weapons in. After a few tries, Oskar dumped some ale on the hammer, and he begrudgingly stayed in the box. Blackrazor had a very loud tantrum when Jak put him in the box, it was hella funny. All that was left was Wave... which we literally forced out of Quinn's hands. We were each handed a bag of money and a box. Once the innkeep locked the box with the weapons in it, all of our boxes unlocked- except for Quinn's.
Jak got some rings that help him do more damage or something. Oskar got a dwarven thrower. I got lenses the size of Bumbersnoot's eye lenses, which would function like a lantern of revealing when installed, and I got the lightning components for a javelin of lightning... THIS IS GOING TO BE HELLA COOL!!!! I couldn't wait to get Bumbersnoot's new upgrades installed! At about this point, Quinn said her box hadn't opened yet, and the innkeep banged on the lid of the box he was carrying, winked at her, and the box opened. A sea shanty filled the air... fucking Wave was fucking back! I hate that annoying trident.
We all went shopping... except for Quinn, who had to go preach at the docks to appease her stupid trident.
When we got back, there was another message from the Coldfire Initiative, saying they'd booked us passage to Baldur's Gate, with a layover in Waterdeep, leaving at 12 tomorrow. I was a bit creeped out.
That night, shortly before the exact middle of the night, Oskar and I got up and cast our planned spells. I watched the girl's room, and detected absolutely no magic from there when the moment passed. Oskar said he got a tiny blip of evil, but couldn't determine exactly where or what it was.
All of the damn oxen were killed by the giants, so Jak and Oskar had to pull the carts for us. The only person from the farm that was still alive was the boy- Gil, and after a little while he helped with the carts too. He'd lost his Uncle Fred in the fight with the giants, who was the only person he had left in the world; the rest of his family was killed when the giants first attacked his little community.
It was pretty late by the time we got back, and as we approached we heard shouts. I could make out calls of movement in the dark, before they realized it was us. A huge crowd gathered around us, asking what had happened- apparently the guy who had run away during the fight, made it back here in record time and told everyone we were all slaughtered- so not only did he abandon us, but he ensured no one would go out to try to find and help us.
The coward in question- Joe- started trying to slink away from us as the others repeated what he'd said, but Oskar saw him and grabbed him before he could get away. The moment Gil found him in the crowd, he snarled in rage and began to run at him, but Jak grabbed him before he could reach Joe. Oskar had two of the villagers grab Joe, while Jak pinned Gil for the next few minutes to calm him down. Once Gil was calmer, Oskar and I went with the villagers who had Joe, and we took him to the little shed he, Gil, and Gil's uncle had been living in. Oskar paid them to guard the place and I set some alarms so he couldn't escape unnoticed.
In the middle of the night, Wave and the hammer of warning woke us up again, for the second night in a row, and again there was nothing there. I was getting really fucking tired of this nonsense.
***** Tarsakh 23, farming village in the Crags
In the morning, Oskar asked Gil if he wanted Joe to undergo trial by combat, but after thinking about it for a bit, Gil decided he wanted Joe's punishment to be a lot longer lasting than that. He decided that Joe should revive the entire farm by himself; which is a hella worse punishment than Oskar's idea had been.
We packed ourselves up and hit the road not long after that. Gil came with us, he didn't really have anything left there, and couldn't stand the thought of sticking around. We were about 7 1/2 miles from River Mirar, which we could take to Luskan.
After about 3 hours, we spotted the river in the distance, along with some sort of outpost. There was a barge there, several guards wearing the insignia for Mirabar. When we arrived, there was a dwarf at the gate, and were allowed entrance to Mirabar's outpost. The girls all tried to hide themselves in the cowls of their cloaks, just in case any of the men hunting them were there. The last thing we needed was for them to get recognized here. We split up to find out how to gain passage on the barge.
Jak and I went to look for any merchants, Oskar went to find the quartermaster, Carmina and Amara hit the tavern, and Sylvia and Gil stayed at the wagon with our stuff; we did have some hella expensive gear in there. Jak and I were redirected to the inn where Quartermaster Jenkins was.
We reached the inn at about the same time that Carmina and Amara walked out, looking nervous. The men chasing them were here. Oskar had been told we couldn't get on the barge until tomorrow, so Jak and I went to bribe the asshole so we could leave on the barge that was about to head out. Quinn had taken a shine to the broken down barge at the docks, and managed to convince the owner, a guy named Steve, that agreed to take us to Luskan in his junk heap, if Quinn fixed it first.
We hurried to the barge, with Quinn telling us they'd meet us on the other side of the river after she fixed Steve's busted boat. As we hurried to get to the barge in time, the men who were chasing the girls came out and hollered to tell people to stop us- but they were too late. It took about an hour to get across the river, and about an hour after that we found Quinn and set sail for Luskan.
About three hours later Oskar spotted large carrion birds in the distance, in the direction we were traveling. Jak decided to go check it out, and came back to tell us he'd found a bunch of dead frost giants and humans. We decided to go check it all out together, and gave Steve a bottle of something to occupy himself while we were gone.
Jak and Oskar set to cutting off the giant toes, while I began identifying the magic on their skins and swords, and Quinn began gathering everything into a bundle to bring back with us. I'd just finished identifying the swords, but I couldn't quite tell what magic was in them, when we heard howls and hoof beats.
We saw a group of wolves and humans coming at us, Quinn squealed and dropped everything she'd gathered. Then the riders looking for the girls showed up. We were boxed in- barbarians and wolves to our left, humans on horses to our right- and our only hope was to get back to the barge before they converged on us, and that was a hella slim hope. I shrunk Quinn to put her on Bumbersnoot, since she was slowest, gave Gil and Amara expeditious retreat rabbits, and gave Sylvia a hummingbird to drink to boost her speed. Unfortunately I couldn't do anything for Carmina, four people was kinda my limit at the moment.
Amara yelled at Oskar to do something, so he summoned his spirit weapon and hit a barbarian. As he did, I noticed some of the barbarians were engaging the soldiers. Carmina stabbed one of the barbarians; I had Bumbersnoot trip one, I shot it with NATAS, and we ran to catch up to Amara and Sylvia- we would be sticking near them until they were safely on the ship, I hoped keeping us between the girls and our assailants would provide a decent target to divert attention from them. Quinn bitched that this isn't how you're supposed to run away, but those girls were the entire reason we were running, and protecting them was important. Jak began beating the shit out of a wolf, finishing it off with some encouragement from Amara.
The riders reached Oskar and Carmina then, and began helping fend off the barbarians. Oskar's spirit guardians killed a wolf, and his weapon another. I shot one of the barbarians, and suddenly NATAS announced in my head that she was at 75% functionality, the charged plasma bolt was available, and think F1 for manual. The battle raged on- with Quinn randomly attempting some mental attack on me- we were slowly falling back to the barge, keeping the barbarians at bay with help from the soldiers, who put themselves between the barbarians and us.
I decided to try that charged plasma bolt, and I managed to kill three of the four barbarians I hit with it. Then an alarm went off in my head and NATAS announced she'd overheated. Hopefully when she gets more functionality she'll stop overheating all the gods damned time. We were so close to the barge at this point, almost free. Quinn used that chaos bolt of hers, and hit Gil, Bumbersnoot, and I with acid bubbles. She's way too fucking reckless.
Gil set a sleet storm on a group of barbarians and jumped on the barge. Jak charged the wolves trying to surround Oskar, killing two in a single blow, then finishing off the third with a nasty punch. Oskar, now free of wolves, grabbed Carmina and began flying to the ship. Steve the captain had passed out, so I had Bumbersnoot jump onto the barge so Quinn could prepare us to leave as soon as everyone was on. One of the soldiers yelled at us to "protect the-" but died before he could finish his statement. Obviously one or all of those girls is noble in some way. Amara and Sylvia made it onto the barge, and Amara said we should try to wait for those soldiers. Quinn couldn't reach the soldiers with water walk, so she cast off anyway. We all sailed off, leaving those poor soldiers behind like fodder.
Oskar demanded an explanation from the girls, which they gave to him alone, and he refused to tell anyone else.
***** Tarsakh 26, Luskan
We reached Luskan unmolested, in record time, according to Quinn. Every single fucking night, right in the middle of the night, Wave and my hammer would wake us up to warn us of danger, when there was nothing present. I was getting hella sick of that shit. Wave's constant singing was also really grating on my nerves.
We were charged 100 gold for a trade permit, and taxed another 3600 for all of our magic gear. Captain Steve wasn't allowed in Luskan, apparently the drunkard had caused trouble before- it's got to be a fuck ton of trouble to be booted from fucking Luskan.
We went to One-Eyed Jax Inn, it was the most defensible, and debated our options for our next move. The girls were thinking we needed to head south next to Baldur's Gate, which is close enough to home for me that I could get us decent protection if we headed to the Friendly Arm Inn from there. We still needed to hit Neverwinter to turn in those stupid items- especially Wave- and get paid; and we needed to hit Waterdeep to give Jackass his balls. But getting the girls to safety was more important than that, we could always do that once they were safe.
We got three merchant class rooms, and put the girls in the middle, with Oskar and I in one end room, and Quinn, Jak, and Gil in the other- to get maximum distance on our weapons of warning. I put alarms on the girl's windows and door, to make sure no one could get in except us.
Again we were woken up in the middle of the fucking night. Oskar thinks it's got something to do with the girls- since this started after we met them. I planned to have detect magic on tomorrow night at this time, and watch the girl's room, to see if I see anything. Oskar was going to have detect evil up to see if that showed us anything either.
***** Tarsakh 27, One-Eyed Jax, Luskan
In the morning there was an envelope in the girl's room from the Coldfire Initiative, saying that we could turn in our weapons to the man at the bar. Oskar and Jak were more than willing to give up their weapons, but Quinn was a bit more difficult. By a bit more, I mean we had to yell at her, remind her she'd signed a contract, and then Oskar and Jak had to carry Quinn in. The stupid trident told me it knows the location of Lantan. Big fucking deal, it's on the map. I hate that stupid trident.
Whelm kept returning to Oskar's hand when he placed it in the box the innkeep presented for them to put their weapons in. After a few tries, Oskar dumped some ale on the hammer, and he begrudgingly stayed in the box. Blackrazor had a very loud tantrum when Jak put him in the box, it was hella funny. All that was left was Wave... which we literally forced out of Quinn's hands. We were each handed a bag of money and a box. Once the innkeep locked the box with the weapons in it, all of our boxes unlocked- except for Quinn's.
Jak got some rings that help him do more damage or something. Oskar got a dwarven thrower. I got lenses the size of Bumbersnoot's eye lenses, which would function like a lantern of revealing when installed, and I got the lightning components for a javelin of lightning... THIS IS GOING TO BE HELLA COOL!!!! I couldn't wait to get Bumbersnoot's new upgrades installed! At about this point, Quinn said her box hadn't opened yet, and the innkeep banged on the lid of the box he was carrying, winked at her, and the box opened. A sea shanty filled the air... fucking Wave was fucking back! I hate that annoying trident.
We all went shopping... except for Quinn, who had to go preach at the docks to appease her stupid trident.
When we got back, there was another message from the Coldfire Initiative, saying they'd booked us passage to Baldur's Gate, with a layover in Waterdeep, leaving at 12 tomorrow. I was a bit creeped out.
That night, shortly before the exact middle of the night, Oskar and I got up and cast our planned spells. I watched the girl's room, and detected absolutely no magic from there when the moment passed. Oskar said he got a tiny blip of evil, but couldn't determine exactly where or what it was.
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| This map is by Wizards of the Coast |
Monday, October 16, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: A Yawning Portal Novella, Chapter Eight
A Giant Problem
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress
Steve, Quinn's Octopus familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Tarsakh 21, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), somewhere in the Crags
In the morning Oskar was spazzing out about "falling" up- the sight of the sky was terrifying him for some weird ass reason.
Over breakfast we tried to get more information from the girls about who they were- Oskar thought one of them was a princess or something- but Amara insisted that she wasn't and that she didn't know why they were being hunted. She seemed pretty honest about it, and we decided to help them get to Luskan.
We noticed as we prepared to head out that there were about five carrion birds circling something on the hill we were getting ready to climb. When we drew closer we could tell they were circling a large boulder, and some of them seemed to be going for something just on the other side of it. Eventually we arrived at the scene and found the remains of a humanoid that had been crushed under the boulder. Oskar said the boulder was worked stone and was definitely not natural to this area, and wandered away to investigate. Jak noticed a stick under the boulder, that should be been crushed, so we figured it was probably magic. Carmina dug it out and I figured out what it was. By the time I was done, Oskar had returned and told us that a hill giant had killed this guy. The tracks left by the hill giant were in the direction we needed to travel anyway, so we continued on our path, keeping a sharp eye out for more giants.
Eventually we came to a trashed area that the giants probably used for garbage. Somehow we were able to pick out the correct tracks for them, and we continued on. About five hours later, we saw smoke in the distance and figured we should check it out. An hour or so after that we found a small farming community, or what was left of it anyway.
Several of the buildings had been reduced to smoldering ruins. We saw a little white figure go running out of a building, and a boulder followed it. The goat cried out in pain as a giant retrieved it. We had to go deal with those, so we decided to leave the girls in the treeline while we went out to battle. Stealth was not an option thanks to Whelm, who unleashed a war cry as we started forward. Two giants ran out of a building, and the heads of three others appeared out of holes in the ceiling of a building. Quinn climbed on Jak's back and sent out a chaos bolt, just as a boulder missed them. A horn sounded from somewhere in the tiny village- Oskar called out that more giants were coming as he hurled Whelm at one of them.
I pulled a hummingbird out of my alchemy satchel and handed it to Oskar- it was my newer concoction that helped someone move faster- then had Bumbersnoot surge us forward. A boulder narrowing missed Bumbersnoot and I. Fucking giants. Then another boulder smacked into me from a different direction. We kept inching our way forward, I attempted to hit one with my crossbow, since that was the only thing I could use at this distance, and missed completely. I saw another rock smack into Jak, but he barely seemed to notice it as he charged right into them, knocking a giant over. Quinn misty stepped off of him, and got hit by a rock from another giant- she was now the closest target, so of course they would concentrate their fire on her.
I decided to try the semi-auto mode on my weird gun, and hit once before it shorted out on me, a warning ringing through my head that it overheated. Apparently the disembodied voice in my head was that gun, NATAS. Jak was flanked by two giants now, and they were dishing out some nasty blows; of course he returned the favor. A rock smacked hella hard into me, my vision doubled briefly after that hit, and I felt a little woozy. As I took aim with my stupid crossbow, since NATAS had overheated- again- and missed. I don't know why I even keep that stupid thing around, apparently crossbows are worthless for me. Another fucking rock smacked me.
Jak was still getting a serious beating from those giants- and giving one in the process. I saw Oskar's spirit weapon appear and smack a different giant, and Whelm followed- then Oskar took a boulder to the face for his efforts. I was trying to get some of the heat off of Jak, so I shot one of the giants he had been fighting. Quinn- who had been blinking this entire time, and not actually doing anything- was hit by two rocks when she reappeared. She hit one with ice bolts before vanishing again.
Jak killed one of the giants on him, as Bumbersnoot and I approached to help him... that was a bad fucking idea. Bumbersnoot bit the giant, and attempted to trip it, and instead it flicked him off of it and stepped on us. I sent a beetle at it, and it fucking deflected it right back at me. Then Bumbersnoot was hit by a boulder. I fucking hate giants. Quinn reappeared and sent another icy spell at a giant before vanishing again. Jak began beating on the other giant by him, and I felt my flesh knit together as Oskar healed me. I shot the giant with NATAS and killed it with my daring sir; I really do love my daring sir.
Quinn reappeared, got hit by a rock, and blinked out again. She really wasn't being terribly useful in this fight. Jak charged toward the other giants, and Oskar ran into one of the buildings. He reappeared a moment later, as a giant with a huge flail came at him; another followed with a belly flop at him, that also missed badly. I shot the giant with the flail, since it seemed to be the bigger threat to Oskar at the moment.
Another giant ran right up to be and hit me hella hard- I saw stars for a second. Amara shouted encouragement at me, and I felt better somehow... interesting. An icy spell shot past the giant in front of me, and I heard Quinn squeak in annoyance as her blink didn't work. Jak charged the giant on me, and failed to trip it- it was his turn to get stomped on like Bumbersnoot had been earlier.
Oskar's spirit weapon vanished and his guardians activated, killing the giant who'd attempted to belly flop on him. Another giant missed Oskar and attempted to run from him, but the dwarf killed it.
Bumbersnoot bit the giant looming over us, but didn't try to trip it- we'd learned that lesson- and I shot it with my daring sir. There were only two giants left at this point. The one in front of me and the one with the flail. Quinn hit the giant in front of me and Jak pounded on it. I healed Bumbersnoot and Critical Bumbersnoot savagely ripped into the giant's leg. Quinn's chaos spell and Jak finished it off.
The one with the flail ran from Oskar, and when he pursued the giant jumped on the roof of one of the few intact buildings. It hit Oskar and his spirit guardians vanished. Quinn used her chaos spell, and Jak charged the building the giant was on- hoping the make the roof cave in, I think. Oskar flew up to the giant, and it wrapped the flail around him, and yanked him into Jak. It got a couple of good hits in before the building collapsed. Quinn finished it off with her chaos spell.
After searching the farm, we decided to rest there for the night.
I finished up the new feet I've been working on for Bumbersnoot, so now he's faster, he can climb, and he can swim. I'm a little closer to my goal of making him an all terrain puppy.
***** Tarsakh 22, farming village in the Crags
In the morning we headed out, and eventually came upon another farming town. A warning shot was fired at Oskar's feet as we approached, and after a brief exchange with the guards, they agreed to speak with us, as long as we left our weapons behind. Oskar, Carmina, Amara, and I went to them, everyone else stayed back with the wagon we'd taken from the destroyed village. The guards told us that the giants had been systematically wiping out all of the other villages in the area, and that the wagons full of provisions we'd found at the other farm were all that was left of their harvest. This was the only village left that hadn't been touched, and they were afraid they wouldn't survive much longer. We offered to escort them back to the other farm to get the remaining provisions that had been left behind. They said we hadn't killed all of the giants, there had been a lot more sighted than what we'd seen thus far.
We got to the other farm with no issues, and got everything loaded up without being attacked. Unfortunately, our luck ran out on the way back to the farmstead. During our journey back, a dark cloud began moving toward us, and we were suddenly enveloped in fog. I could barely make out Bumbersnoot, and I could only make out vague shapes of the others around us. This didn't sound good. Suddenly, I was hit by something big and hella heavy, and it fucking hurt.
Oskar tried to fly above the fog, but was also struck by the rock that hit Winry and killed three of the oxen. Quinn attempted to destroy to water in the fog, but it only lasted a couple of seconds before the fog filled back in. Another boulder struck Carmina and Sylvia- Sylvia went down, but Amara quickly revived her- another oxen was smashed as well.
Suddenly a fucking net with fucking weights on it landed on Bumbersnoot and I. I began hacking at the stupid thing, and Bumbersnoot tried to help, but he bit me instead. I seriously despise nets. Then a fucking boulder ran over us, hurting us hella bad. I cut at the net again, but I don't think I actually did any good. I told Bumbersnoot not to help, his attempts to help with nets always end up working badly for me.
Oskar found Sylvia and healed her, then instructed Amara and Carmina to protect her. He flew back into the air, but couldn't get out of the fog. Jak ran out of the fog and found a giant to beat up. Quinn attempted to cast haste on herself, but set herself on fire instead; her second attempt to do so made every small thing near her begin shaking. Jak was thrown by the giant he found.
The fog vanished and we discovered there were three hill giants, two stone giants, and one frost giant attacking us. And I'm trapped in a fucking net. Fanfuckingtastic.
One of the villagers was mashed into paste by a boulder from one of the giants. Another one had a broken leg, so his nephew picked up a bow and attempted to defend him; another man ran in terror instead of even attempting to fight or protect those with the group. Jak charged the frost giant, but it sidestepped him. Quinn had reappeared from blinking out, and attempted to twin ice bolt, but one fizzled out in a shower of golden sparks, the other worked and a group of lizards appeared at her feet. Then Quinn used the lightning bolt on her Neptunian Trident and vanished again. The giant she'd hit was pissed- especially since she'd vanished right after injuring him, so he picked up Jak and threw him right into Oskar.
The three girls were trying to take shelter in some bushes, but Amara picked up a bow and started firing at one of the giants. The frost giant raised its ax and a series of runes lit up on it as a cone of cold was cast.
Bumbersnoot and I were hit by a cold spell, and I was severely injured, if I didn't get out of this net soon I would probably die. I used my modest healing magic to keep myself alive, and used my quickrazor to attempt to get out of the net. Since I was in such bad shape, I had Bumbersnoot bite at the net again- he missed, but at least he didn't hit me this time. I was beyond relieved when Jak appeared and freed us from that stupid net. I'm so setting that thing on fucking fire.
Oskar killed one of the giants near him, then yelled out, with Whelm's aid, a nasty insult at the giants in their tongue, all but the frost giant turned toward the priest in anger. The giants started throwing oxen at the dwarf... and managed to hit him once.
Quinn appeared and stabbed at one giant, misty stepped away from it, and used her chaos spell on two of the giants before vanishing again. I had Bumbersnoot run the fuck out of melee with these giants, healing him as we went. I saw Oskar hit the frost giant right in the face with his hammer. A stone giant narrowly missed hitting me with a rock- thank gods, it might have killed me.
Amara sunk an arrow into the frost giant. A hill giant went for Jak, attempting a belly flop, and missing horribly. Jak responded by stabbing the crap out of it with Blackrazor.
Quinn reappeared again, cast something at the stone giant near me, and in the process blinded both Bumbersnoot and I. These random things that keep happening when she casts spells are getting hella annoying. Something hit poor Bumbersnoot, but thanks to Quinn we couldn't see what and couldn't defend ourselves. We turned around and bolted, hoping that we were going away from the fight. I hated having to do that, but I didn't see any other option, if we'd stayed put at least one of us would have died. Bumbersnoot and I took a few moments to breathe and heal before turning back to rejoin the fray.
When Bumbersnoot and I got back, the farmer boy was killing the last stone giant, and Oskar had banished the frost giant. We had about thirty seconds to prep before it came back. As soon as it reappeared, an arrow sank deep into its chest- Amara killed it.
In the morning Oskar was spazzing out about "falling" up- the sight of the sky was terrifying him for some weird ass reason.
Over breakfast we tried to get more information from the girls about who they were- Oskar thought one of them was a princess or something- but Amara insisted that she wasn't and that she didn't know why they were being hunted. She seemed pretty honest about it, and we decided to help them get to Luskan.
We noticed as we prepared to head out that there were about five carrion birds circling something on the hill we were getting ready to climb. When we drew closer we could tell they were circling a large boulder, and some of them seemed to be going for something just on the other side of it. Eventually we arrived at the scene and found the remains of a humanoid that had been crushed under the boulder. Oskar said the boulder was worked stone and was definitely not natural to this area, and wandered away to investigate. Jak noticed a stick under the boulder, that should be been crushed, so we figured it was probably magic. Carmina dug it out and I figured out what it was. By the time I was done, Oskar had returned and told us that a hill giant had killed this guy. The tracks left by the hill giant were in the direction we needed to travel anyway, so we continued on our path, keeping a sharp eye out for more giants.
Eventually we came to a trashed area that the giants probably used for garbage. Somehow we were able to pick out the correct tracks for them, and we continued on. About five hours later, we saw smoke in the distance and figured we should check it out. An hour or so after that we found a small farming community, or what was left of it anyway.
Several of the buildings had been reduced to smoldering ruins. We saw a little white figure go running out of a building, and a boulder followed it. The goat cried out in pain as a giant retrieved it. We had to go deal with those, so we decided to leave the girls in the treeline while we went out to battle. Stealth was not an option thanks to Whelm, who unleashed a war cry as we started forward. Two giants ran out of a building, and the heads of three others appeared out of holes in the ceiling of a building. Quinn climbed on Jak's back and sent out a chaos bolt, just as a boulder missed them. A horn sounded from somewhere in the tiny village- Oskar called out that more giants were coming as he hurled Whelm at one of them.
I pulled a hummingbird out of my alchemy satchel and handed it to Oskar- it was my newer concoction that helped someone move faster- then had Bumbersnoot surge us forward. A boulder narrowing missed Bumbersnoot and I. Fucking giants. Then another boulder smacked into me from a different direction. We kept inching our way forward, I attempted to hit one with my crossbow, since that was the only thing I could use at this distance, and missed completely. I saw another rock smack into Jak, but he barely seemed to notice it as he charged right into them, knocking a giant over. Quinn misty stepped off of him, and got hit by a rock from another giant- she was now the closest target, so of course they would concentrate their fire on her.
I decided to try the semi-auto mode on my weird gun, and hit once before it shorted out on me, a warning ringing through my head that it overheated. Apparently the disembodied voice in my head was that gun, NATAS. Jak was flanked by two giants now, and they were dishing out some nasty blows; of course he returned the favor. A rock smacked hella hard into me, my vision doubled briefly after that hit, and I felt a little woozy. As I took aim with my stupid crossbow, since NATAS had overheated- again- and missed. I don't know why I even keep that stupid thing around, apparently crossbows are worthless for me. Another fucking rock smacked me.
Jak was still getting a serious beating from those giants- and giving one in the process. I saw Oskar's spirit weapon appear and smack a different giant, and Whelm followed- then Oskar took a boulder to the face for his efforts. I was trying to get some of the heat off of Jak, so I shot one of the giants he had been fighting. Quinn- who had been blinking this entire time, and not actually doing anything- was hit by two rocks when she reappeared. She hit one with ice bolts before vanishing again.
Jak killed one of the giants on him, as Bumbersnoot and I approached to help him... that was a bad fucking idea. Bumbersnoot bit the giant, and attempted to trip it, and instead it flicked him off of it and stepped on us. I sent a beetle at it, and it fucking deflected it right back at me. Then Bumbersnoot was hit by a boulder. I fucking hate giants. Quinn reappeared and sent another icy spell at a giant before vanishing again. Jak began beating on the other giant by him, and I felt my flesh knit together as Oskar healed me. I shot the giant with NATAS and killed it with my daring sir; I really do love my daring sir.
Quinn reappeared, got hit by a rock, and blinked out again. She really wasn't being terribly useful in this fight. Jak charged toward the other giants, and Oskar ran into one of the buildings. He reappeared a moment later, as a giant with a huge flail came at him; another followed with a belly flop at him, that also missed badly. I shot the giant with the flail, since it seemed to be the bigger threat to Oskar at the moment.
Another giant ran right up to be and hit me hella hard- I saw stars for a second. Amara shouted encouragement at me, and I felt better somehow... interesting. An icy spell shot past the giant in front of me, and I heard Quinn squeak in annoyance as her blink didn't work. Jak charged the giant on me, and failed to trip it- it was his turn to get stomped on like Bumbersnoot had been earlier.
Oskar's spirit weapon vanished and his guardians activated, killing the giant who'd attempted to belly flop on him. Another giant missed Oskar and attempted to run from him, but the dwarf killed it.
Bumbersnoot bit the giant looming over us, but didn't try to trip it- we'd learned that lesson- and I shot it with my daring sir. There were only two giants left at this point. The one in front of me and the one with the flail. Quinn hit the giant in front of me and Jak pounded on it. I healed Bumbersnoot and Critical Bumbersnoot savagely ripped into the giant's leg. Quinn's chaos spell and Jak finished it off.
The one with the flail ran from Oskar, and when he pursued the giant jumped on the roof of one of the few intact buildings. It hit Oskar and his spirit guardians vanished. Quinn used her chaos spell, and Jak charged the building the giant was on- hoping the make the roof cave in, I think. Oskar flew up to the giant, and it wrapped the flail around him, and yanked him into Jak. It got a couple of good hits in before the building collapsed. Quinn finished it off with her chaos spell.
After searching the farm, we decided to rest there for the night.
I finished up the new feet I've been working on for Bumbersnoot, so now he's faster, he can climb, and he can swim. I'm a little closer to my goal of making him an all terrain puppy.
***** Tarsakh 22, farming village in the Crags
In the morning we headed out, and eventually came upon another farming town. A warning shot was fired at Oskar's feet as we approached, and after a brief exchange with the guards, they agreed to speak with us, as long as we left our weapons behind. Oskar, Carmina, Amara, and I went to them, everyone else stayed back with the wagon we'd taken from the destroyed village. The guards told us that the giants had been systematically wiping out all of the other villages in the area, and that the wagons full of provisions we'd found at the other farm were all that was left of their harvest. This was the only village left that hadn't been touched, and they were afraid they wouldn't survive much longer. We offered to escort them back to the other farm to get the remaining provisions that had been left behind. They said we hadn't killed all of the giants, there had been a lot more sighted than what we'd seen thus far.
We got to the other farm with no issues, and got everything loaded up without being attacked. Unfortunately, our luck ran out on the way back to the farmstead. During our journey back, a dark cloud began moving toward us, and we were suddenly enveloped in fog. I could barely make out Bumbersnoot, and I could only make out vague shapes of the others around us. This didn't sound good. Suddenly, I was hit by something big and hella heavy, and it fucking hurt.
Oskar tried to fly above the fog, but was also struck by the rock that hit Winry and killed three of the oxen. Quinn attempted to destroy to water in the fog, but it only lasted a couple of seconds before the fog filled back in. Another boulder struck Carmina and Sylvia- Sylvia went down, but Amara quickly revived her- another oxen was smashed as well.
Suddenly a fucking net with fucking weights on it landed on Bumbersnoot and I. I began hacking at the stupid thing, and Bumbersnoot tried to help, but he bit me instead. I seriously despise nets. Then a fucking boulder ran over us, hurting us hella bad. I cut at the net again, but I don't think I actually did any good. I told Bumbersnoot not to help, his attempts to help with nets always end up working badly for me.
Oskar found Sylvia and healed her, then instructed Amara and Carmina to protect her. He flew back into the air, but couldn't get out of the fog. Jak ran out of the fog and found a giant to beat up. Quinn attempted to cast haste on herself, but set herself on fire instead; her second attempt to do so made every small thing near her begin shaking. Jak was thrown by the giant he found.
The fog vanished and we discovered there were three hill giants, two stone giants, and one frost giant attacking us. And I'm trapped in a fucking net. Fanfuckingtastic.
One of the villagers was mashed into paste by a boulder from one of the giants. Another one had a broken leg, so his nephew picked up a bow and attempted to defend him; another man ran in terror instead of even attempting to fight or protect those with the group. Jak charged the frost giant, but it sidestepped him. Quinn had reappeared from blinking out, and attempted to twin ice bolt, but one fizzled out in a shower of golden sparks, the other worked and a group of lizards appeared at her feet. Then Quinn used the lightning bolt on her Neptunian Trident and vanished again. The giant she'd hit was pissed- especially since she'd vanished right after injuring him, so he picked up Jak and threw him right into Oskar.
The three girls were trying to take shelter in some bushes, but Amara picked up a bow and started firing at one of the giants. The frost giant raised its ax and a series of runes lit up on it as a cone of cold was cast.
Bumbersnoot and I were hit by a cold spell, and I was severely injured, if I didn't get out of this net soon I would probably die. I used my modest healing magic to keep myself alive, and used my quickrazor to attempt to get out of the net. Since I was in such bad shape, I had Bumbersnoot bite at the net again- he missed, but at least he didn't hit me this time. I was beyond relieved when Jak appeared and freed us from that stupid net. I'm so setting that thing on fucking fire.
Oskar killed one of the giants near him, then yelled out, with Whelm's aid, a nasty insult at the giants in their tongue, all but the frost giant turned toward the priest in anger. The giants started throwing oxen at the dwarf... and managed to hit him once.
Quinn appeared and stabbed at one giant, misty stepped away from it, and used her chaos spell on two of the giants before vanishing again. I had Bumbersnoot run the fuck out of melee with these giants, healing him as we went. I saw Oskar hit the frost giant right in the face with his hammer. A stone giant narrowly missed hitting me with a rock- thank gods, it might have killed me.
Amara sunk an arrow into the frost giant. A hill giant went for Jak, attempting a belly flop, and missing horribly. Jak responded by stabbing the crap out of it with Blackrazor.
Quinn reappeared again, cast something at the stone giant near me, and in the process blinded both Bumbersnoot and I. These random things that keep happening when she casts spells are getting hella annoying. Something hit poor Bumbersnoot, but thanks to Quinn we couldn't see what and couldn't defend ourselves. We turned around and bolted, hoping that we were going away from the fight. I hated having to do that, but I didn't see any other option, if we'd stayed put at least one of us would have died. Bumbersnoot and I took a few moments to breathe and heal before turning back to rejoin the fray.
When Bumbersnoot and I got back, the farmer boy was killing the last stone giant, and Oskar had banished the frost giant. We had about thirty seconds to prep before it came back. As soon as it reappeared, an arrow sank deep into its chest- Amara killed it.
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