A Giant Problem
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Werewolf Sea Sorceress
Steve, Quinn's Octopus familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
Carmina, the Human Woman-at-arms
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Handmaiden
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Tarsakh 21, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), somewhere in the Crags
In the morning Oskar was spazzing out about "falling" up- the sight of the sky was terrifying him for some weird ass reason.
Over breakfast we tried to get more information from the girls about who they were- Oskar thought one of them was a princess or something- but Amara insisted that she wasn't and that she didn't know why they were being hunted. She seemed pretty honest about it, and we decided to help them get to Luskan.
We noticed as we prepared to head out that there were about five carrion birds circling something on the hill we were getting ready to climb. When we drew closer we could tell they were circling a large boulder, and some of them seemed to be going for something just on the other side of it. Eventually we arrived at the scene and found the remains of a humanoid that had been crushed under the boulder. Oskar said the boulder was worked stone and was definitely not natural to this area, and wandered away to investigate. Jak noticed a stick under the boulder, that should be been crushed, so we figured it was probably magic. Carmina dug it out and I figured out what it was. By the time I was done, Oskar had returned and told us that a hill giant had killed this guy. The tracks left by the hill giant were in the direction we needed to travel anyway, so we continued on our path, keeping a sharp eye out for more giants.
Eventually we came to a trashed area that the giants probably used for garbage. Somehow we were able to pick out the correct tracks for them, and we continued on. About five hours later, we saw smoke in the distance and figured we should check it out. An hour or so after that we found a small farming community, or what was left of it anyway.
Several of the buildings had been reduced to smoldering ruins. We saw a little white figure go running out of a building, and a boulder followed it. The goat cried out in pain as a giant retrieved it. We had to go deal with those, so we decided to leave the girls in the treeline while we went out to battle. Stealth was not an option thanks to Whelm, who unleashed a war cry as we started forward. Two giants ran out of a building, and the heads of three others appeared out of holes in the ceiling of a building. Quinn climbed on Jak's back and sent out a chaos bolt, just as a boulder missed them. A horn sounded from somewhere in the tiny village- Oskar called out that more giants were coming as he hurled Whelm at one of them.
I pulled a hummingbird out of my alchemy satchel and handed it to Oskar- it was my newer concoction that helped someone move faster- then had Bumbersnoot surge us forward. A boulder narrowing missed Bumbersnoot and I. Fucking giants. Then another boulder smacked into me from a different direction. We kept inching our way forward, I attempted to hit one with my crossbow, since that was the only thing I could use at this distance, and missed completely. I saw another rock smack into Jak, but he barely seemed to notice it as he charged right into them, knocking a giant over. Quinn misty stepped off of him, and got hit by a rock from another giant- she was now the closest target, so of course they would concentrate their fire on her.
I decided to try the semi-auto mode on my weird gun, and hit once before it shorted out on me, a warning ringing through my head that it overheated. Apparently the disembodied voice in my head was that gun, NATAS. Jak was flanked by two giants now, and they were dishing out some nasty blows; of course he returned the favor. A rock smacked hella hard into me, my vision doubled briefly after that hit, and I felt a little woozy. As I took aim with my stupid crossbow, since NATAS had overheated- again- and missed. I don't know why I even keep that stupid thing around, apparently crossbows are worthless for me. Another fucking rock smacked me.
Jak was still getting a serious beating from those giants- and giving one in the process. I saw Oskar's spirit weapon appear and smack a different giant, and Whelm followed- then Oskar took a boulder to the face for his efforts. I was trying to get some of the heat off of Jak, so I shot one of the giants he had been fighting. Quinn- who had been blinking this entire time, and not actually doing anything- was hit by two rocks when she reappeared. She hit one with ice bolts before vanishing again.
Jak killed one of the giants on him, as Bumbersnoot and I approached to help him... that was a bad fucking idea. Bumbersnoot bit the giant, and attempted to trip it, and instead it flicked him off of it and stepped on us. I sent a beetle at it, and it fucking deflected it right back at me. Then Bumbersnoot was hit by a boulder. I fucking hate giants. Quinn reappeared and sent another icy spell at a giant before vanishing again. Jak began beating on the other giant by him, and I felt my flesh knit together as Oskar healed me. I shot the giant with NATAS and killed it with my daring sir; I really do love my daring sir.
Quinn reappeared, got hit by a rock, and blinked out again. She really wasn't being terribly useful in this fight. Jak charged toward the other giants, and Oskar ran into one of the buildings. He reappeared a moment later, as a giant with a huge flail came at him; another followed with a belly flop at him, that also missed badly. I shot the giant with the flail, since it seemed to be the bigger threat to Oskar at the moment.
Another giant ran right up to be and hit me hella hard- I saw stars for a second. Amara shouted encouragement at me, and I felt better somehow... interesting. An icy spell shot past the giant in front of me, and I heard Quinn squeak in annoyance as her blink didn't work. Jak charged the giant on me, and failed to trip it- it was his turn to get stomped on like Bumbersnoot had been earlier.
Oskar's spirit weapon vanished and his guardians activated, killing the giant who'd attempted to belly flop on him. Another giant missed Oskar and attempted to run from him, but the dwarf killed it.
Bumbersnoot bit the giant looming over us, but didn't try to trip it- we'd learned that lesson- and I shot it with my daring sir. There were only two giants left at this point. The one in front of me and the one with the flail. Quinn hit the giant in front of me and Jak pounded on it. I healed Bumbersnoot and Critical Bumbersnoot savagely ripped into the giant's leg. Quinn's chaos spell and Jak finished it off.
The one with the flail ran from Oskar, and when he pursued the giant jumped on the roof of one of the few intact buildings. It hit Oskar and his spirit guardians vanished. Quinn used her chaos spell, and Jak charged the building the giant was on- hoping the make the roof cave in, I think. Oskar flew up to the giant, and it wrapped the flail around him, and yanked him into Jak. It got a couple of good hits in before the building collapsed. Quinn finished it off with her chaos spell.
After searching the farm, we decided to rest there for the night.
I finished up the new feet I've been working on for Bumbersnoot, so now he's faster, he can climb, and he can swim. I'm a little closer to my goal of making him an all terrain puppy.
***** Tarsakh 22, farming village in the Crags
In the morning we headed out, and eventually came upon another farming town. A warning shot was fired at Oskar's feet as we approached, and after a brief exchange with the guards, they agreed to speak with us, as long as we left our weapons behind. Oskar, Carmina, Amara, and I went to them, everyone else stayed back with the wagon we'd taken from the destroyed village. The guards told us that the giants had been systematically wiping out all of the other villages in the area, and that the wagons full of provisions we'd found at the other farm were all that was left of their harvest. This was the only village left that hadn't been touched, and they were afraid they wouldn't survive much longer. We offered to escort them back to the other farm to get the remaining provisions that had been left behind. They said we hadn't killed all of the giants, there had been a lot more sighted than what we'd seen thus far.
We got to the other farm with no issues, and got everything loaded up without being attacked. Unfortunately, our luck ran out on the way back to the farmstead. During our journey back, a dark cloud began moving toward us, and we were suddenly enveloped in fog. I could barely make out Bumbersnoot, and I could only make out vague shapes of the others around us. This didn't sound good. Suddenly, I was hit by something big and hella heavy, and it fucking hurt.
Oskar tried to fly above the fog, but was also struck by the rock that hit Winry and killed three of the oxen. Quinn attempted to destroy to water in the fog, but it only lasted a couple of seconds before the fog filled back in. Another boulder struck Carmina and Sylvia- Sylvia went down, but Amara quickly revived her- another oxen was smashed as well.
Suddenly a fucking net with fucking weights on it landed on Bumbersnoot and I. I began hacking at the stupid thing, and Bumbersnoot tried to help, but he bit me instead. I seriously despise nets. Then a fucking boulder ran over us, hurting us hella bad. I cut at the net again, but I don't think I actually did any good. I told Bumbersnoot not to help, his attempts to help with nets always end up working badly for me.
Oskar found Sylvia and healed her, then instructed Amara and Carmina to protect her. He flew back into the air, but couldn't get out of the fog. Jak ran out of the fog and found a giant to beat up. Quinn attempted to cast haste on herself, but set herself on fire instead; her second attempt to do so made every small thing near her begin shaking. Jak was thrown by the giant he found.
The fog vanished and we discovered there were three hill giants, two stone giants, and one frost giant attacking us. And I'm trapped in a fucking net. Fanfuckingtastic.
One of the villagers was mashed into paste by a boulder from one of the giants. Another one had a broken leg, so his nephew picked up a bow and attempted to defend him; another man ran in terror instead of even attempting to fight or protect those with the group. Jak charged the frost giant, but it sidestepped him. Quinn had reappeared from blinking out, and attempted to twin ice bolt, but one fizzled out in a shower of golden sparks, the other worked and a group of lizards appeared at her feet. Then Quinn used the lightning bolt on her Neptunian Trident and vanished again. The giant she'd hit was pissed- especially since she'd vanished right after injuring him, so he picked up Jak and threw him right into Oskar.
The three girls were trying to take shelter in some bushes, but Amara picked up a bow and started firing at one of the giants. The frost giant raised its ax and a series of runes lit up on it as a cone of cold was cast.
Bumbersnoot and I were hit by a cold spell, and I was severely injured, if I didn't get out of this net soon I would probably die. I used my modest healing magic to keep myself alive, and used my quickrazor to attempt to get out of the net. Since I was in such bad shape, I had Bumbersnoot bite at the net again- he missed, but at least he didn't hit me this time. I was beyond relieved when Jak appeared and freed us from that stupid net. I'm so setting that thing on fucking fire.
Oskar killed one of the giants near him, then yelled out, with Whelm's aid, a nasty insult at the giants in their tongue, all but the frost giant turned toward the priest in anger. The giants started throwing oxen at the dwarf... and managed to hit him once.
Quinn appeared and stabbed at one giant, misty stepped away from it, and used her chaos spell on two of the giants before vanishing again. I had Bumbersnoot run the fuck out of melee with these giants, healing him as we went. I saw Oskar hit the frost giant right in the face with his hammer. A stone giant narrowly missed hitting me with a rock- thank gods, it might have killed me.
Amara sunk an arrow into the frost giant. A hill giant went for Jak, attempting a belly flop, and missing horribly. Jak responded by stabbing the crap out of it with Blackrazor.
Quinn reappeared again, cast something at the stone giant near me, and in the process blinded both Bumbersnoot and I. These random things that keep happening when she casts spells are getting hella annoying. Something hit poor Bumbersnoot, but thanks to Quinn we couldn't see what and couldn't defend ourselves. We turned around and bolted, hoping that we were going away from the fight. I hated having to do that, but I didn't see any other option, if we'd stayed put at least one of us would have died. Bumbersnoot and I took a few moments to breathe and heal before turning back to rejoin the fray.
When Bumbersnoot and I got back, the farmer boy was killing the last stone giant, and Oskar had banished the frost giant. We had about thirty seconds to prep before it came back. As soon as it reappeared, an arrow sank deep into its chest- Amara killed it.
In the morning Oskar was spazzing out about "falling" up- the sight of the sky was terrifying him for some weird ass reason.
Over breakfast we tried to get more information from the girls about who they were- Oskar thought one of them was a princess or something- but Amara insisted that she wasn't and that she didn't know why they were being hunted. She seemed pretty honest about it, and we decided to help them get to Luskan.
We noticed as we prepared to head out that there were about five carrion birds circling something on the hill we were getting ready to climb. When we drew closer we could tell they were circling a large boulder, and some of them seemed to be going for something just on the other side of it. Eventually we arrived at the scene and found the remains of a humanoid that had been crushed under the boulder. Oskar said the boulder was worked stone and was definitely not natural to this area, and wandered away to investigate. Jak noticed a stick under the boulder, that should be been crushed, so we figured it was probably magic. Carmina dug it out and I figured out what it was. By the time I was done, Oskar had returned and told us that a hill giant had killed this guy. The tracks left by the hill giant were in the direction we needed to travel anyway, so we continued on our path, keeping a sharp eye out for more giants.
Eventually we came to a trashed area that the giants probably used for garbage. Somehow we were able to pick out the correct tracks for them, and we continued on. About five hours later, we saw smoke in the distance and figured we should check it out. An hour or so after that we found a small farming community, or what was left of it anyway.
Several of the buildings had been reduced to smoldering ruins. We saw a little white figure go running out of a building, and a boulder followed it. The goat cried out in pain as a giant retrieved it. We had to go deal with those, so we decided to leave the girls in the treeline while we went out to battle. Stealth was not an option thanks to Whelm, who unleashed a war cry as we started forward. Two giants ran out of a building, and the heads of three others appeared out of holes in the ceiling of a building. Quinn climbed on Jak's back and sent out a chaos bolt, just as a boulder missed them. A horn sounded from somewhere in the tiny village- Oskar called out that more giants were coming as he hurled Whelm at one of them.
I pulled a hummingbird out of my alchemy satchel and handed it to Oskar- it was my newer concoction that helped someone move faster- then had Bumbersnoot surge us forward. A boulder narrowing missed Bumbersnoot and I. Fucking giants. Then another boulder smacked into me from a different direction. We kept inching our way forward, I attempted to hit one with my crossbow, since that was the only thing I could use at this distance, and missed completely. I saw another rock smack into Jak, but he barely seemed to notice it as he charged right into them, knocking a giant over. Quinn misty stepped off of him, and got hit by a rock from another giant- she was now the closest target, so of course they would concentrate their fire on her.
I decided to try the semi-auto mode on my weird gun, and hit once before it shorted out on me, a warning ringing through my head that it overheated. Apparently the disembodied voice in my head was that gun, NATAS. Jak was flanked by two giants now, and they were dishing out some nasty blows; of course he returned the favor. A rock smacked hella hard into me, my vision doubled briefly after that hit, and I felt a little woozy. As I took aim with my stupid crossbow, since NATAS had overheated- again- and missed. I don't know why I even keep that stupid thing around, apparently crossbows are worthless for me. Another fucking rock smacked me.
Jak was still getting a serious beating from those giants- and giving one in the process. I saw Oskar's spirit weapon appear and smack a different giant, and Whelm followed- then Oskar took a boulder to the face for his efforts. I was trying to get some of the heat off of Jak, so I shot one of the giants he had been fighting. Quinn- who had been blinking this entire time, and not actually doing anything- was hit by two rocks when she reappeared. She hit one with ice bolts before vanishing again.
Jak killed one of the giants on him, as Bumbersnoot and I approached to help him... that was a bad fucking idea. Bumbersnoot bit the giant, and attempted to trip it, and instead it flicked him off of it and stepped on us. I sent a beetle at it, and it fucking deflected it right back at me. Then Bumbersnoot was hit by a boulder. I fucking hate giants. Quinn reappeared and sent another icy spell at a giant before vanishing again. Jak began beating on the other giant by him, and I felt my flesh knit together as Oskar healed me. I shot the giant with NATAS and killed it with my daring sir; I really do love my daring sir.
Quinn reappeared, got hit by a rock, and blinked out again. She really wasn't being terribly useful in this fight. Jak charged toward the other giants, and Oskar ran into one of the buildings. He reappeared a moment later, as a giant with a huge flail came at him; another followed with a belly flop at him, that also missed badly. I shot the giant with the flail, since it seemed to be the bigger threat to Oskar at the moment.
Another giant ran right up to be and hit me hella hard- I saw stars for a second. Amara shouted encouragement at me, and I felt better somehow... interesting. An icy spell shot past the giant in front of me, and I heard Quinn squeak in annoyance as her blink didn't work. Jak charged the giant on me, and failed to trip it- it was his turn to get stomped on like Bumbersnoot had been earlier.
Oskar's spirit weapon vanished and his guardians activated, killing the giant who'd attempted to belly flop on him. Another giant missed Oskar and attempted to run from him, but the dwarf killed it.
Bumbersnoot bit the giant looming over us, but didn't try to trip it- we'd learned that lesson- and I shot it with my daring sir. There were only two giants left at this point. The one in front of me and the one with the flail. Quinn hit the giant in front of me and Jak pounded on it. I healed Bumbersnoot and Critical Bumbersnoot savagely ripped into the giant's leg. Quinn's chaos spell and Jak finished it off.
The one with the flail ran from Oskar, and when he pursued the giant jumped on the roof of one of the few intact buildings. It hit Oskar and his spirit guardians vanished. Quinn used her chaos spell, and Jak charged the building the giant was on- hoping the make the roof cave in, I think. Oskar flew up to the giant, and it wrapped the flail around him, and yanked him into Jak. It got a couple of good hits in before the building collapsed. Quinn finished it off with her chaos spell.
After searching the farm, we decided to rest there for the night.
I finished up the new feet I've been working on for Bumbersnoot, so now he's faster, he can climb, and he can swim. I'm a little closer to my goal of making him an all terrain puppy.
***** Tarsakh 22, farming village in the Crags
In the morning we headed out, and eventually came upon another farming town. A warning shot was fired at Oskar's feet as we approached, and after a brief exchange with the guards, they agreed to speak with us, as long as we left our weapons behind. Oskar, Carmina, Amara, and I went to them, everyone else stayed back with the wagon we'd taken from the destroyed village. The guards told us that the giants had been systematically wiping out all of the other villages in the area, and that the wagons full of provisions we'd found at the other farm were all that was left of their harvest. This was the only village left that hadn't been touched, and they were afraid they wouldn't survive much longer. We offered to escort them back to the other farm to get the remaining provisions that had been left behind. They said we hadn't killed all of the giants, there had been a lot more sighted than what we'd seen thus far.
We got to the other farm with no issues, and got everything loaded up without being attacked. Unfortunately, our luck ran out on the way back to the farmstead. During our journey back, a dark cloud began moving toward us, and we were suddenly enveloped in fog. I could barely make out Bumbersnoot, and I could only make out vague shapes of the others around us. This didn't sound good. Suddenly, I was hit by something big and hella heavy, and it fucking hurt.
Oskar tried to fly above the fog, but was also struck by the rock that hit Winry and killed three of the oxen. Quinn attempted to destroy to water in the fog, but it only lasted a couple of seconds before the fog filled back in. Another boulder struck Carmina and Sylvia- Sylvia went down, but Amara quickly revived her- another oxen was smashed as well.
Suddenly a fucking net with fucking weights on it landed on Bumbersnoot and I. I began hacking at the stupid thing, and Bumbersnoot tried to help, but he bit me instead. I seriously despise nets. Then a fucking boulder ran over us, hurting us hella bad. I cut at the net again, but I don't think I actually did any good. I told Bumbersnoot not to help, his attempts to help with nets always end up working badly for me.
Oskar found Sylvia and healed her, then instructed Amara and Carmina to protect her. He flew back into the air, but couldn't get out of the fog. Jak ran out of the fog and found a giant to beat up. Quinn attempted to cast haste on herself, but set herself on fire instead; her second attempt to do so made every small thing near her begin shaking. Jak was thrown by the giant he found.
The fog vanished and we discovered there were three hill giants, two stone giants, and one frost giant attacking us. And I'm trapped in a fucking net. Fanfuckingtastic.
One of the villagers was mashed into paste by a boulder from one of the giants. Another one had a broken leg, so his nephew picked up a bow and attempted to defend him; another man ran in terror instead of even attempting to fight or protect those with the group. Jak charged the frost giant, but it sidestepped him. Quinn had reappeared from blinking out, and attempted to twin ice bolt, but one fizzled out in a shower of golden sparks, the other worked and a group of lizards appeared at her feet. Then Quinn used the lightning bolt on her Neptunian Trident and vanished again. The giant she'd hit was pissed- especially since she'd vanished right after injuring him, so he picked up Jak and threw him right into Oskar.
The three girls were trying to take shelter in some bushes, but Amara picked up a bow and started firing at one of the giants. The frost giant raised its ax and a series of runes lit up on it as a cone of cold was cast.
Bumbersnoot and I were hit by a cold spell, and I was severely injured, if I didn't get out of this net soon I would probably die. I used my modest healing magic to keep myself alive, and used my quickrazor to attempt to get out of the net. Since I was in such bad shape, I had Bumbersnoot bite at the net again- he missed, but at least he didn't hit me this time. I was beyond relieved when Jak appeared and freed us from that stupid net. I'm so setting that thing on fucking fire.
Oskar killed one of the giants near him, then yelled out, with Whelm's aid, a nasty insult at the giants in their tongue, all but the frost giant turned toward the priest in anger. The giants started throwing oxen at the dwarf... and managed to hit him once.
Quinn appeared and stabbed at one giant, misty stepped away from it, and used her chaos spell on two of the giants before vanishing again. I had Bumbersnoot run the fuck out of melee with these giants, healing him as we went. I saw Oskar hit the frost giant right in the face with his hammer. A stone giant narrowly missed hitting me with a rock- thank gods, it might have killed me.
Amara sunk an arrow into the frost giant. A hill giant went for Jak, attempting a belly flop, and missing horribly. Jak responded by stabbing the crap out of it with Blackrazor.
Quinn reappeared again, cast something at the stone giant near me, and in the process blinded both Bumbersnoot and I. These random things that keep happening when she casts spells are getting hella annoying. Something hit poor Bumbersnoot, but thanks to Quinn we couldn't see what and couldn't defend ourselves. We turned around and bolted, hoping that we were going away from the fight. I hated having to do that, but I didn't see any other option, if we'd stayed put at least one of us would have died. Bumbersnoot and I took a few moments to breathe and heal before turning back to rejoin the fray.
When Bumbersnoot and I got back, the farmer boy was killing the last stone giant, and Oskar had banished the frost giant. We had about thirty seconds to prep before it came back. As soon as it reappeared, an arrow sank deep into its chest- Amara killed it.
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