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Monday, March 13, 2017

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Forty-Four

Dealing with a Demon Lord

Dramatis Personae:
Lady Claire Callalily Thundersword-Petunia, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halftaur Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard and Feylock, and mother of the Petunia clan; champion of the Living Dungeon
Astrid Oleander Rockham-Petunia, the Longstrider Shifter Drow Evocation Wizard
Calipso, Astrid's Lizard Raven Familiar
Kazul, the Copper  Platinum Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut who has fallen from grace
Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Flimflam Pebblehead-Petunia, the Deep Gnome Selkie Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds and can't take anything seriously
Alfalfa Cover Petunia, the Halftaur "Crocling" Wererat Fighter, formerly Rosebud's other half who can't take anything seriously and thinks he's the greatest at everything
Shreya, the Githzeri Symbiote

Comrades we have lost:
Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent
Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald
Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape
Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away
Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding
Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned
Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care
Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell
Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll
Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll
Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla attacked the party at a gateway they found
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville attacked the party at a gateway they found
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass
Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 
Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies
Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver- grick kibble
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut- stayed in Blingdenstone
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil- dust in the wind
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone
Stool, the Myconid Child- stayed in Blingdenstone
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist- MIA after the Battle of Blingdenstone
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout- MIA after Astrid's wish
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later- MIA after Astrid's wish, believed to be trapped in the Abyss
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer- stayed on the Material Plane
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist- stayed on the Material Plane
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar- stayed on the Material Plane
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar- stayed on the Material Plane
Arwenel, the Elf Scholar- victim of Geophry's tantrum

Friendly Fire: 311

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Nightal 12, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Astral Sea

       We stood facing the gate that Momma had opened, the room filled with an eerie blue light. We could see some forms around the room on the other side of this gate, and a deep, gravelly voice called out to us "the door is open, you might as well come in. I grant you an audience." I felt compelled to go through the door, and we all filed through the gate together.

     The gate room looked very different from how it was when we had escaped. It was polished to a shine, literally everything in the room was reflective like a mirror. All around the room were small groups of people- mostly drow- engaged in some form of passion. An enormous throne was sitting in the room as well, with a large figure in it who could only be Graz'zt. Two figures were kneeling at his feet, one was Twyla and the other that drow who seemed to have been leading the assault against us.

       Gazing upon Graz'zt led to many minds being shattered. Rosebud now would not rest until he made someone his. Alfie now believes his path is the road to redemption. Claire now thinks that anyone who doesn't do what she says deserves to die. Astrid now thinks that her own pleasure is of paramount importance and anything else is trivial. Flimflam also thinks his path is the road to redemption, and that his own pleasure is the most important thing in the world. 

       Momma told the Demon Lord that Mithrilye, his daughter, was trapped in his realm and that he needed to meet with his patron to help her. Graz'zt barred our way and told us all to enjoy our pleasure. Everyone except Momma and Not-Kazul broke off to do just that. Shreya screamed in terror at the sight of Graz'zt and left Lily. 

       Lily told Graz'zt his entire story, going all the way back to when he had been revived in Blingdenstone. It took a while, but the Demon Lord sat through the bard's entire monologue.

      Suddenly there was a flash of light, and everyone except for us, Graz'zt, Twyla and the drow, and a couple succubi and marilith turned into mirrors. Then with another flash I felt rejuvenated, as if I'd just had a good night's sleep. Graz'zt rose from his throne, drawing two greatswords that were larger than us, and told Momma that if we defeated him he could return to the Abyss and investigate what was happening. Shit. Now we have to fight a fucking Demon Lord.

       First the marilith came in and slashed at Rosebud, while Momma read an scroll that didn't seem to do anything. Graz'zt vanished from in front of his throne, only to reappear in front of Momma and Not-Kazul; he went for Not-Kazul thankfully instead of Momma. Another marilith went for Astrid, and I attempted to use the banish ability on Demon's Mirror, my shield, but nothing happened. Flimflam sent a beam of pure sunlight at the marilith, and three wasps appeared.

       Graz'zt issued a command to the party to grovel, only Astrid and Kazul were able to resist his order. I suddenly felt the need to drop to my knees and grovel at the Demon Lord's feet. He swung his mighty blade at me as I did, but didn't hit me- perhaps he approved of my groveling and decided to let me live. The marilith Flimflam had shot beat on him until he dropped. Graz'zt went for Seluna, who had turned into an air elemental, and completely missed her. Then an illusory pit fiend appeared in the room, Lily called over his shoulder at it to go away before reviving Flimflam.

       Astrid got away from the marilith that was after her, and instead of pursuing her it turned and hit Not-Kazul hard; then she teleported away from it. Alfie and I beat on the marilith and seemed to be hurting her, then Flimflam banished her back to the Abyss. Seluna and Rosebud flew up to Graz'zt, and Seluna seemed to rip into him pretty good. Then he vanished again and was now next to Flimflam and Alfie. Momma opened up the dimension doorway of his, reached in, and pulled Flimflam through it to get him away from Graz'zt. Instead, the Demon Lord began beating on poor Alfie.

       Astrid cast something at Graz'zt before vanishing, and whatever she had done seemed to annoy him. Momma, Not-Kazul, and I were dealing with one of the marilith still, until Graz'zt commanded everyone disrobe; I began struggling to take of my armor, but I knew it would take longer than Graz'zt desired. One of the marilith walked up to Astrid, picked up the staff she'd dropped, and snapped it in half. The concussive force that reverberated throughout the cavern was bone-rattling, and at the end of it both Astrid and the marilith had been vaporized. As badly as I wanted to mourn my friend, I knew that I had a job to do; once the Demon Lord is dead I can be sad about losing Astrid.

       We all finished off that marilith while Alfie stood toe-to-toe with Graz'zt; I guess that shows how much we love the little fucker, we let him be the distraction. Of course Graz'zt dropped him quickly. As the marilith dropped, Rosebud and I were commanded to dance; another command followed that, but it was only for Rosebud: kill Momma. Those of us who weren't being forced to dance began beating on Graz'zt, and he angrily struck back at Seluna.

       The moment the dance command ended, Rosebud threw his hammers at Momma; the resulting anger in Momma's eyes was almost more terrifying than the fucking Demon Lord we were fighting. The command to dance came again, but this time I resisted it; only Seluna was caught by this dance. Graz'zt apparently didn't like our druid, and dealt her a couple of nasty blows that dropped her. Not-Kazul, Flimflam, and I dished out some nasty hits to Graz'zt, and the Demon Lord was actually starting to look hurt. The command Rosebud was under to kill Momma was still going, and he kept going after him instead of the Demon Lord.

       The next command issued was to be gone, and I began moving toward the exit. Flimflam attempted to plane shift us all, but somehow he failed at it. Graz'zt dropped Not-Kazul, but Momma sent out healing to all of us, reviving her, Seluna, and Alfie. Then Rosebud was told if he couldn't kill Momma that he should kill a sibling. Shit. My poor brother dropped Flimflam and went for Alfie next. Graz'zt hit me so hard with his blade that my left arm went flying away. Fuck, that was my shield arm.

       Rosebud killed poor Alfie; sadly this command was one that would be easier for him to follow. Next we were told to fornicate; Seluna moved toward Not-Kazul, but tripped over her own feet instead and face planted. Not-Kazul teleported away from her. Graz'zt was closest to me, so I reached up and began fondling him. While I was groping the Demon Lord, Rosebud came up and swung at me. Before I could do anything, the command to die was issued; I attempted to stab myself, but somehow threw my Rod over my shoulder. Seluna revived Flimflam, and a cluster of orbs appeared around him that began attacking both Graz'zt and Not-Kazul.

       Between Rosebud and Graz'zt's assault on me I felt that death was closing in on me. The Demon Lord decided to next issue a command to masturbate, and I am ashamed to admit that I followed the order. Momma sent his Hand to bitch slap Graz'zt, which was hilarious to see, and Flimflam hit him, me, and Rosebud with a spray of color- it was fucking painful. We all kept hitting Graz'zt with everything we had- except for Rosebud, who seemed determined to kill me. Eventually Flimflam unleashed an acid spell on Graz'zt and he dissolved! Twyla and the drow pet of his screamed in pain as they dissolved too.

       We had won, but at the cost of Astrid, Alfie, and Twyla. And we still hadn't saved Mithrilye.

       When we got back to the Tower, Seluna reincarnated Astrid and Alfie. Alfie now has the hips and legs of an orc, the torso and upper body of a pegasus, and the extremely muscular halfling arms. Momma named him an Orcasus. Astrid was reincarnated as an orc.

***** Nightal 13, Chateau Petunia, outside Neverwinter

       Momma needed to summon his patron to attempt to save Mithrilye, so we all gathered in the lab at the circle. A bunch of tiny fae appeared and began attacking us, but we killed them with ease; though after killing a fucking Demon Lord I think we may see many things as easy to kill. Then a bunch of purple worm thingys appeared and went straight for Momma. Those we also were able to kill with ease. As the last of those died we heard howling, and two large wolves stepped into the circle. Momma's patron began speaking through Lith.

       Momma offered her Graz'zt's sword as an apology for summoning her to us, and asked her permission to use a Fates card to bring Mithrilye back to us. She said she'd accept Momma's request under a few conditions: she wanted the sprocket to the crossbow Fidget had designed, though Rosebud insisted that she take the entire thing. She wanted favors from Momma, Lith, and Mithrilye. Then she told him she wanted his firstborn child- Rosebud. Momma said he needed Rosebud, so she agreed to "loan" Rosebud to Momma for the next hundred years. Momma would only accept if she took Alfie too, though he's only on loan to us for the next fifty years. Momma took the deal, he was determined to save Mithrilye, regardless of the cost.

       We decided that the easiest way to save Mithrilye was to erase the drow ambush at the gate. If the drow got held up, we would have been able to use the portal. Anyone in the circle would remember everything that had happened over the last couple of tendays, those outside would know only the way the events changed. Amin opted to stay out of it for some reason. I tried to convince Not-Kazul to stay out of the circle, pointing out that we were undoing her being lost in the Abyss, which would erase her having killed the unicorn and falling from grace; she didn't think it would work because she's apparently an idiot in addition to being evil.

       Right as before Lith was done speaking what we wanted to undo, Geophry shoved Not-Kazul and I out of the circle, and we couldn't get back in. Shit!

       With Zenit's attack party being held up, the group made it to the gate room and used the gate to get to Gauntlgrym unmolested. Entering the dwarven stronghold from a gate they didn't know existed made their story more believable, and they even met with King Bruenor. 

       Since the drow ambush got held up, they created an Astrid paradox. Technically Astrid never met the party now, so there is another version of her somewhere in the Underdark, still a prisoner and still a shifter. Consequently, this meant that Claire, Kazul, and Amin- the three not in the circle- had never met Astrid. 

       Not going to the Abyss meant Geophry never killed Arwenel, instead she left a few days ago. She started feeling uncomfortable and in the area where she'd died she was getting a feeling of deja vu. 

        Claire had her arm back, though her fingers were gone again, and she had the mechanical hand once more, along with her much missed Rod of Lordly Might. Kazul was no longer evil, and was back to her normal self. Claire had not mailed the letter to Kazul's temple, since she never went missing in the Abyss.

       Twyla and Mithrilye were back in the Tower, safe and sound. When Lily looked out the window he saw that they were in Gauntlgrym. They had been given permission to set up the Tower in the city, since their story was now believable. 

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast
*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

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