The Ravenloft Chronicles- Shit Storm: Book One, Chapter Twelve

Treasure Hunting

Dramatis Personae:
Tilea Aervavil'A'Sum, the Wild Elf Circle of the Moon Druid Barbarian
Scritch, The Weremonkey Squirrel Thief and Tilea's Animal Companion
Sachi Kno, the Vistani Weremonkey Thief
Belmont Von Richter, the mysterious Human who tends to show up just in the nick of time
Tabitha Marie Lennox, the Human White Witch of Mystra
Nikko, Tabitha's Flying Monkey familiar
Bruenar Shieldwall, the Shield Dwarf Shield Fighter the party hired

Comrades we have lost:
Pineck, Anvil's Horse- turned into soup by a cursed crate
Kithri "Quickshadow" Tealeaf, the Lightfoot Halfling Werebat Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter and Ruin Raider- left to become Archivist
Forgrotken Anvilrocker, the Blugrim Forge Cleric of Moradin- killed by the Talmot Wives
Lythana, the Human Werewolf Order of the Ghost Slayer Blood Hunter- captured by the Talmot Wives, then turned evil
Syndal Al'Vherin, the Four-year-old Human girl who Tilea released from an amulet- kidnapped by Strahd, now working with Talmot

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Tabitha's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the Witch can't be everywhere at once. 

***** Hetedik Honap 19, CY 745, Death House

       Upon hearing the chanting, Tilea asked if we needed to give the trespassers notice before killing them. I hoped we wouldn't have to kill whoever was down there, but this was Death House.

       There were several stone sarcophagi down here, and Bruenar opened one. Inside was the skeletal remains of a child, which Tilea promptly covered in fungus to decay them. As they decayed at a much faster rate than they should have, a scream rang out that shook me to the core. The bones burst into blue flames, and fire rose from the other coffins in the room. The column of flame materialized into my Sestra- not Aggie, the one I didn't know I had, I suppose I should probably learn her name at some point. Apparently destroying the bones called her. I told her to fuck off and tried to banish her again, but she was prepared this time.

       Lythana appeared before Sestra could do anything to us, and stabbed her, telling her we were her bounty. Tilea used the distraction to slip around the corner and turned into a huge beast- I think she'd called it a savager before. Lythana got in Tilea's face and began stabbing her- though she did take a hit from Sachi as she approached.

       Bruenar got right in Sestra's face and hit her a couple times with his shield. Sestra tried to banish us, but I countered her. She tried a second time and failed. Like she'd hit me with my own trick. Sachi began stabbing Sestra, and I hit her with one of my bolts of arcane lightning, though I had to counter her attempt to counter me in order to successfully cast the spell.

       Tilea cut Lythana's head off and destroyed it completely. There would be no bringing my dear friend back.

       Sestra used a misty step to get away from Bruenar, leaving a glowing blue orb in her place. It burst in a cloud of cold, killing poor Nikko, and leaving Sachi and Bruenar staring blankly into space. I revived Bruenar first, then tried to harm Sestra with a candle, but she deflected the magic. Tilea was too big to reach Sestra, so she began looting Lythana's corpse instead. Sestra dropped a fireball on everyone, and Bruenar got back to beating the Hells out of her. I found and revived Sachi and healed all of us, and then I suddenly couldn't sense my Sestra's presence... she'd left. I told the others she was gone, but they decided to smash walls to search for her instead of listening to me.

       I realized that all of us were cursed, except for Bruenar, so while they destroyed our surroundings, I removed the curse from each of us. As they continued their rampage of destruction, a grick popped out of something Bruenar smashed, and he killed it instantly. When Tilea broke down a wall she nearly tripped over a ghoul; there was a group of ghouls and shadows on the other side of it, which we killed instantly.

       We entered a room that looked like it had once been a torture chamber of sorts. There were skeletons hanging from the walls, and a statue was in the corner of the room, holding a large crystal. It didn't look cursed, but there was some hardcore necromantic magic on it. I told the others not to touch it, but then the statue floated for a moment. Then the crystal floated, turns out it was Scritch playing with his telekinesis, and apparently when he did, he felt Talmot smash at his mind, but he didn't break through. Then Tilea messed with it and got the same result. The crystal was shaped like a heart... this was Talmot's heart and phylactery.

       We didn't think we could destroy it, but we needed to do something with it. As we debated what to do with it, there was a slight glimmer from it and a massive wave of energy came from Tilea. She had to quickly drop the heart, which seemed to be trying to fuse itself to her hand. Thick mists swirled around us and Tilea set off a spell to create a druid grove where Death House was. Scritch realized there were five lives inside the heart just as the mists swirled us away.

       The mists deposited us where the front gates to Death House had once stood. I talked to the crowd that had gathered and explained that Death House should be gone forever now; at least that was the hope. They began an instant party in the streets to celebrate. Sachi suggested we head to the tavern and a good chunk of the crowd followed. As we drew near we heard screams from inside; we walked in to find Bruenar attacking people with a cursed pipe... I tried to put him in a sphere of force, but I couldn't hit him with it. The crowd began turning on Bruenar and I couldn't calm them.

       Tilea decided not to join the party, but to instead bring Talmot's heart to Grant. She'd first thought to bring it to Strahd, but decided against that. The druid had a theory she wanted to test. Grant began working on it immediately. 

       Suddenly, everyone stopped. It seemed the Heart may have been causing this somehow. Then Bruenar discovered Tilea's grove had destroyed his root cellar, and all the alcohol inside it. He was vibrating with rage, but at least he didn't start murdering my people over it. Forty-seven had died during the original altercation; I had the bodies sent to my Temple so they could be brought back to life.

       Bruenar summoned Tilea and punched her. She told him Grant was going to die, and icy fear wrapped around my heart. We hurried to the guild hall, where he was, and couldn't enter the secret room he was in. Bruenar drank something to get it open and we walked into an incredible arcane lab; it was my Sestra's. Grant was standing in front of some sort of apparatus with spikes through each of his hands, with black and red energy crackling everywhere. The entire place was cursed too.

       After watching him silently for a few minutes, he put the Heart in a box and said that as long as it was in the box it couldn't be detected. He had garnered some information from it that was so powerful that he could trade it to Strahd for all of Barovia. Grant wanted fifty million gold, or something of equal value, for it. Then he learned that Tilea had destroyed the entire root cellar of the tavern, and the price rose to seventy-five million; I chuckled to myself as he worked to extort gold from Sachi and Tilea. For that price raise, Sachi produced Lythana's ring of mind shielding, offering Grant our friend's soul. Grant raised the price to one hundred million.

       I then explained to everyone that I couldn't bring her back. Whatever it was that had bound her in a contract had most likely put it on her soul, so even the most powerful resurrection spell available would still have the contract intact.

       Sachi finally paid Grant and he told us there were five dragon souls in the Heart, former Wives, and the current Wives were bound to the Heart- if we killed one her soul would be trapped inside. Talmot's soul wasn't linked to it, but it was literally his Heart. Things just got a lot more complicated as far as Talbutt was concerned. Grant was going to visit the Archivist for some books to research, but Sachi and Tilea were opposed to letting Grant just do the research. They just didn't know him as well as I do, he wouldn't betray our cause or keep vital information secret. Tilea wanted to give the Heart to Bahamut or Tiamat to see if one of them could extract the souls from the Heart. We didn't come to any conclusions, and went back to the Temple. I held a small funeral for Lythana.

***** Hetedik Honap 20, Temple of Mystra

       In the morning, after Bruenar used the feast in the Temple to restock the tavern, we headed to Tser Pool; apparently Tilea had learned of a powerful treasure there by communing with nature. Our trek to the Pool was much longer than it should have been. We encountered several groups of travelers and told them of the Temple. Unfortunately, many of them freaked out and attacked us, forcing us to fight them... most of them died.

       The Tser Pool encampment was eerie. There were fires lit, meals sitting out uneaten, toys dropped in the middle of play, but no signs of people or animals. It was as if everyone had just vanished in the middle of what they were doing. At first I thought the camp had somehow been removed from time, but after thinking about it for a moment, I realized that couldn't be the case. I attempted to dispel any magic here, but nothing happened.

       Something was odd about the pool itself too. Sachi put his hand in the water and it got stuck for a second. He decided to attack the water next, and in the spot he hit water splashed back at him much faster than it should have. We realized the lake had been covered in dust of dryness; the water wasn't nearly as high as it was supposed to be. Before Sachi re-watered the lake, I looked around the camp to see if what we were after was here.

       A small wave crashed over the encampment, putting out the long-abandoned but still burning fires. We found the people, as their corpses floated to the top of the lake. From the look of the bodies, this happened ten years ago. Sachi grabbed a small piece of flesh from every corpse so I could resurrect them later. Of course, after we water the lake, we learn that the item we're here for is at the fucking bottom of it. Tilea shifted and went to look for it. There was an odd ripple across the surface of the lake before Tilea told us to get ready to breathe water. Sachi used an item that would affect all three of us, and just before Tilea summoned us, we heard two draconic roars.

       We were in a small underwater cavern surrounded by nothing but diamonds. There were no curses here, nor was there any magic. That meant this had to be a trap. Sachi began collecting diamonds as we looked around. On a brightly lit dais was a sword, that when Tilea tried to touch it, it seemed to fire a warning shot at her. She tried a couple more times to grab it and it froze each time. The blade didn't feel sentient, but there was a stubborn presence to it. Finally, she managed to grab the icy-looking steel blade and shoved it in a bag for us to deal with later.

       As we worked to mine the diamonds, there was a ripple in the water above us. Tilea put up a wall in the opening to the cavern above us, then told us there was a giant octopus up there. A few hours later, it broke through Tilea's wall, so I decided to banish it... not the best idea. I'd just displaced a fuckload of water, and caused the amount of water in the lake to drop instantly. Sachi went shooting out, Bruenar used a bag of winds, and I grabbed Tilea and we swam out. The octopus didn't come back, not that that was surprising, most things in Barovia aren't from here.

       From there we went to Tser Falls next, since that was the direction of the other powerful magical artifact Tilea had learned about. Tilea did another spell to commune with nature and a myconid named Taki appeared. He was going to lead us to the forever sun in his home, which was nearby. Myconids don't move very fast... Sachi offended him by picking him up to try to have him just direct us there. To make up for it, Sachi smeared shit on it... giving Taki enough power to become the High Shroom- leader of its people.

      Eventually we reached a cave, that got warmer the further into it we went. He paused at one point in the tunnel and announced the new ways were over and he was taking control. After a brief fight with the old leader, Taki was declared the High Shroom and we continued our tedious journey into the cave. We eventually emerged into a lush underground forest, in a dome about a half mile high, with a glimmering sun at the top.

       We looked around the forest for a while, exploring this hidden paradise, marveling in its existence. Sachi threw a pomegranate at Tilea, who turned it into fire seeds that detonated in the air. Then they were both hit by a fire seed pomegranate by a furious tiefling who stormed toward us. Sachi instantly began mouthing off to the tiefling and he responded by silencing Sachi. Our insane monkey decided to throw shit at him, so he turned into a huge beast that made Sachi bolt. We kept summoning him back to us enough times that the tiefling told us to just let him go. Bruenar sent him to the lake, waited long enough to where Sachi was probably just getting going on mining more diamonds, then called him back to us.

       The tiefling was the druid charged with protecting this paradise. He told us he had been given a vision of a druid who would get the myconids out of Barovia, and he would have assumed it was Tilea, except she didn't have her moonblade with her. The vision had said when the sun and moon fought side-by-side... The sunblade's hilt was with Syn, but her soul hadn't yet merged with Tatiana, so the prophecy was not yet to be fulfilled.

Maps from the Curse of Strahd adventure module by Wizards of the Coast

The Ravenloft Chronicles- Shit Storm: Book One, Chapter Eleven

Sanctuary

Dramatis Personae:
Tilea Aervavil'A'Sum, the Wild Elf Circle of the Moon Druid Barbarian
Scritch, Tilea's Squirrel Animal Companion
Sachi Kno, the Vistani Weremonkey Thief
Belmont Von Richter, the mysterious Human who tends to show up just in the nick of time
Tabitha Marie Lennox, the Human White Witch of Mystra
Nikko, Tabitha's Flying Monkey familiar
Bruenar Shieldwall, the Shield Dwarf Shield Fighter the party hired

Comrades we have lost:
Pineck, Anvil's Horse- turned into soup by a cursed crate
Kithri "Quickshadow" Tealeaf, the Lightfoot Halfling Werebat Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter and Ruin Raider- left to become Archivist
Forgrotken Anvilrocker, the Blugrim Forge Cleric of Moradin- killed by the Talmot Wives
Lythana, the Human Werewolf Order of the Ghost Slayer Blood Hunter- captured by the Talmot Wives, then turned evil
Syndal Al'Vherin, the Four-year-old Human girl who Tilea released from an amulet- kidnapped by Strahd, now working with Talmot

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Tabitha's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the Witch can't be everywhere at once. 

***** Hetedik Honap 18, 745 CY, Temple of Mystra

       After cleaning the Temple I settled down to make it hallowed ground again, a ritual that would take a full day to perform. Tilea and Bruenar wandered off; I don't know where Sachi went.

       A couple hours into the ritual, Tilea and Bruenar walked in with an unconscious minotaur. Apparently they'd encountered a dead body that they thought was mine and reincarnated what they thought was me into the minotaur... who they then had to beat unconscious. They hurt my brain. Tilea thought I was Agatha at first, but she quickly realized that wasn't the case. I kicked out the minotaur and resumed my ritual.

       About fourteen hours into the ritual, Sachi emerged from the Temple's bathroom. I realized he'd been in there for fourteen hours... I sent my unseen servants in to clean up his mess. Sachi had made an amazing pooting (a painting with shit instead of paint) of Violet's wedding. The detail was incredible, but no one would ever see it except some unseen servants. 

***** Hetedik Honap 19, Temple of Mystra

       They came back as I finished my ritual to make it hallowed ground, and I told them I was going to expand the Temple, to give me space to take in the many orphans and help and protect anyone who wanted it. I wanted my Temple to be a safe space for every Barovian. I burned out several powerful items to do this, and it ended up being a five story building, with an open air market on the ground floor. Externally the Temple was only a ten by ten building, but inside it was huge and beautiful.

       In the common areas was a permanent daylight. The second floor was housing and a dining hall, and all food was a hero's feast. The third floor was more housing, half of which belonged to me and my group, and was secured so only we could access it. The fourth floor was schooling, as was the fifth, but the fifth was for my witch training specifically. I summoned twenty flumphs to help teach the children. This was a sanctuary, and a home to all Barovians who were peaceful. All who decided to work in the Temple would be able to bring their families in. None would be charged to live or eat here, nor would any be denied medical attention.

       When I was finishing up the ritual, a cursed top popped up outside the Temple, where many were waiting to be officially brought inside, and it started making children go insane. By the time the others had everything subdued, forty children were dead. I created a massive 21-point circle that covered the entire building, while the others got the bodies inside. I took a sword of legend and a bunch of diamonds, and with a swirl of my hands, all of the children were brought back. Cheers erupted from the people watching through the doors. I walked up to the doors and announced the opening of my safe, neutral space. People began filing in quickly.

       While I'd been working on these rituals, Bruenar had bought the inn and tavern, Sachi bought the guild hall, and Tilea bought Death House... This is what I get for leaving them alone for a day and a half. So after spending tons of hours working on rituals, we had to go clear out Death House.

       Bruenar broke down the door to Death House since we didn't have a key. Tilea called out for servants, not getting exactly what Death House is. Sachi found a poison trap, by setting it off, and fell unconscious. Neither of my restoration spells worked, I had to use a much higher caliber healing spell to revive him. We used mage hand to open the door, and found another poison trap on the other side of the door, which Sachi disabled.

       In the cloak room, Sachi found a top hat and tossed it to Tilea. She caught it and threw it back, and it landed right on his head. A ghost overlayed him as soon as the hat touched his head. I felt myself age a little. Tabitha aged thirty years, though it only looked like she'd aged three, thanks to Mystra; Bruenar aged 40 years, Nikko aged ten, and Scritch dropped dead from old age. 

       I used my protection candle and saw a ghost leave Sachi, but something lingered in him... a soul curse; I needed something stronger than I had with me to undo that. Tilea destroyed the ghost, and I reincarnated Scritch.

       We went into the kitchen next, and it was surprisingly well stocked and clean. Tilea found a super cursed ring, and Sachi put it on before we could stop him. I quickly used my spell to remove curses, and a voice said we had to say the secret word. Tilea told it to get rid of the other thing in Sachi, and it instead tried to turn her to stone. Sachi stabbed himself and the voice said a ten year contract was required. I tried to banish the entity and nothing happened, so Tilea hit Sachi with her moon water chalice. Bruenar grabbed Sachi and dumped a bag of salt in his mouth. A ghostly visage popped out of Sachi and the cursed ring was gone.

       The dining room was the next room we entered, and the table was already set. A piece of silverware moved on its own and Tilea hit it. Then the chandelier shook and she threatened it; so all of the chairs pulled out. We heard soft giggling and footsteps running out of the room. In the foyer was a soft breeze, and we heard footsteps in the one room we hadn't entered.

       We walked into the den, which had two stuff wolves in it that Tilea took instant offence to; she wanted to try to bring them back to life later. There was a trap door in the room, but we couldn't figure out how to get it open; not Sachi or magic worked. It must only open from the other side. More giggling and footsteps were heard, and we followed them upstairs. This place is rather ridiculous.

       The library/office was the first room we entered and I found a book with a blank spine, which opened up a hidden alcove when pulled. There were more shelves and books in there, along with a chest that had a satchel hanging out of it. Inside was a nasty note from Strahd to the people who now haunted this evil place.

       We next went into the servant's quarters and Sachi found a small panel with a button that calls for the dumbwaiter. It took three minutes to get to us, and it was screeching eerily the entire way up. When it opened, a cloud of flies swarmed out, a pile of severed heads was sitting on the platform; but it vanished in a flash.

       The music room was pretty much empty, so we went up to the third floor. A suit of platemail was on the landing and as Sachi neared it, it attacked him. It stumbled as it lunged and Sachi pushed it down the stairs.

       The nursemaid's room was the first we entered and Sachi found a hidden door with cobweb filled stairs in it. We went up to the roof from there and Sachi tried to throw me off of it... luckily, I'm always on my broom, so that didn't yield the results he wanted. I shot him with a witch bolt for being a dick, and Tilea yelled there were ghosts to distract Sachi and I from going any further.

       We went back inside and into the nursery. Sachi pulled back the curtain around the crib and Tilea whacked it with flowers, the flowers are like blessed or something. She whacked the small bundle in the crib as we heard a baby coo inside it. There was nothing in the bundle, and the crib was cursed. I was going to throw it off the roof, but a ghost baby appeared; Tilea killed it with a thorn whip.

       The linen closet had a broom that attacked us and Sachi destroyed it. This place is fucking ridiculous. If it wouldn't reappear tomorrow, I would just burn it down and be done with it.

       We called the dumbwaiter when we got to the master bedroom, and thankfully there weren't any horrifying visions waiting for us in there. Sachi found a jewelry box and asked if it was cursed, and I jokingly told him it was; he believed me and I stuck it in a bag. A screech rang out behind us, it was a specter woman who we destroyed pretty much instantly.

       From there we took the cobweb filled staircase up. The door at the top was locked, but Sachi took care of that with ease. The bedrooms of the children who are often seen luring people into the house were in this secret attic. I wanted to lay them to rest, I hoped it would help with the hauntings, and possibly the evil in this house. We wanted to keep exploring first, and hopefully find their bodies; putting them to rest would be difficult if we didn't have the bodies.

       We found a storage room with the nurse's body inside; I'd need to lay her to rest too. Then a door suddenly appeared in the hall. I'd heard the house was alive, and I guess this was the proof. On the other side of the door was another cobweb filled staircase, this one was going down. An eerie chanting floated up the staircase making my blood freeze.

Maps from the Curse of Strahd adventure module by Wizards of the Coast

Castles & Gygaxes: The Ruse of Straus (Curse of Strahd)

Death House

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword as Alivyre Carter the Priestess of Mask, & Zinnarath Falconsflight the Druid
Mezzem as Hollyella Hawklight the Barbarian
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia as Herman the Fighter
Lily Trillium Petunia as Baron von Styx-bane the Blood Hunter, Terran Lightfoot the Ranger, Searos Urthudar the Dragonblood Sorcerer, Dariries Urthadar the Wizard, Graster Tigersoul the Monk, & Victacaron Tigersoul the Paladin of Tymora

Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia as The Dungeon Master
Mithrilye as Prusaadi Falconsflight the Feylock of the Leprechaun King & Roy Mcgillox the Rogue
Lith as Stoaga Urthadar the Rogue & Ravamorel Trannyth the Bard

NOTE: Things will be from Claire's perspective as she watches this game unfold. Some parts don't make much sense, and some parts are missing because the Purple Dragon decided she needed to be as drunk as possible to play this- which she really did.

***** Uktar 4, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Chateau Petunia, Blingdenstone

       Geophry called us all to the office of the Tower telling us he had a surprise for us. He had a game that he had loved reading during his time trapped here, and he wanted all of us to play it with him. He called it Castles & Gygaxes, and assured me that none of us would die for real. The book he held up to us was called "The Curse of Strahd," but apparently he can't read very well, because he called it "The Ruse of Straus." Vadania decided to watch us play instead of playing with us, she's kind of stoic sometimes.

       Then he handed each of a a piece of paper called a character sheet, and explained that these would be our characters for the game. He had made them all humans because Mommy says racism is bad, so he didn't want anyone to be racist. I knew right away I was going to need to be drunk to play this game. I was to play Alivyre Carter, a cleric of Mask... interesting. I didn't really understand what I was supposed to do though, so I just kind of followed everyone else's lead. We settled in and began the game.

       Geophry read to us; "To a party of seasoned adventurers such as yourselves, what you see is but another dull tavern in another dull town in some nameless province. It is but another span of time between the challenges of true adventuring.

       "Outside the tavern, a fog lies over the town this evening. The damp, cobbled pavement glistens as the lights of street lanterns dance across the slick stones. The fog chills the bones and shivers the soul of anyone outside.

       "Yet inside these tavern walls the food is hearty, and the ale is warm and frothy. A fire blazes in the hearth, and the tavern is alive with the tumbling voices of country folk.

       "Suddenly, the tavern door swings open, and a hush falls over the room. Framed by the lamp-lit fog, a form strides through the doorway. His heavy, booted footfalls and the jingle of his coins shatter the silence. His brightly colored clothes are draped in loose folds about him, and his hat hangs askew, hiding his eyes in shadows. Without hesitation, he walks up to your table and stands proudly in a wide stance with folded arms.

       "In an accented voice he says, 'I have been sent to you to deliver this message. If you be creatures of honor, you will come to my master's aid at first light. It is not advisable to travel the Svalich Woods at night!' He pulls from his tunic a sealed letter, addressed to all of you in beautiful flowing script. He drops the letter on the table. 'Take the west road from here some five hours march
down through the Svalich Woods. There you will find my master in Barovia.'

       "Amid the silent stares of the patronage, the gypsy strides to the bar and says to the wary barkeep, 'Fill the glasses, one and all. Their throats are obviously parched." He drops a purse heavy with gold on the bar. With that, he leaves.

       "The babble of tavern voices resumes, although somewhat subdued. The letter is lying before you. The seal is in the shape of a crest you don't recognize."*

       Rosebud's character, Herman, apparently senses danger around every corner, so he searched the letter for dangers before opening it. Rosebud then realized that his character suffered from an addiction, and asked Geophry what he was addicted to "Black tar heroins," Geophry told him. I don't know what that is, but he gave Rosebud 50 of them. He then took one of his heroins and had a hallucination; he failed a Constitution save and his stat dropped- he overdosed.

       I used a cantrip called Light to help, but it didn't help. I asked Mezzem what Sacred Flame was, and she cast it for real- apparently that's what her pillar of radiance is. Neat. That wouldn't help Rosebud's character though. So I asked what Purify Food and Drink was, and Vadania demonstrated by turning wine into water. That was decent wine too! Even though I still wasn't drunk. Damn my tolerance.

       Then Lily's character, Baron von Styx-bane, tried to take Herman's heroins and ended up hitting him instead. Then he tried to whip the hit points back into Herman, and hit me instead. Rosebud then tried to hit the hit points back from me, but I used a feat called Lucky that kept him from doing it. To make it up to him I used Purify Food and Drink on Herman's heroins.

       After this Geophry decided to fast forward to the next morning, when we were to leave for Barovia. I think he was tired of our confused bickering. So the next morning Lily decided he wanted to go shopping, but he had shitty Charisma, so he couldn't find anything. Then Rosebud did some really bad math which got him a good roll to attempt shopping with, and we found a merchant.

       The merchant had a trident that Rosebud wanted, but he wanted all of Rosebud's money and heroins for it. I tried to use a spell that charms people, but he made his save, so my spell didn't do anything. I cast Light in his face next, and told Rosebud to grab the money and the trident and run- but Mezzem somehow impaled herself on the trident... This game is weird. Lily used his whip to snag the trident and ran. The merchant began to chase us, and I used Light in his eye again, this time making him knock himself out on the door frame.

        We all ran until we got to the woods, which Geophry said were super foggy. We decided to tie a rope to each other so we wouldn't get separated in these creepy woods. I cast Light to help, but it really just made the fog even creepier. The fog eventually began to clear, and the tree branches looked like they were clawing at the mist- Geophry said they were literally clawing at the mist.

       There was a large iron gate at the town, with two creepy statues flanking it. They squeaked open as we approached. As we walked through the trees we felt surrounded by a chorus of screams that were waiting to be released. Rosebud, err Herman, caught the scent of death and Geophry said we followed it. We found a corpse that had claw marks in it that looked like it had been there for days. There was a letter in his hand, that as we grabbed Geophry said we heard a werewolf howl in the distance.

       The writer of the letter said that his daughter was bitten by a vampire- "Ooh, that's pretty scary!" Geophry interjected, interrupting himself- and that as a result he was asking for the area to be surrounded in symbols of good to help drive it away. After that Geophry said the werewolves were getting closer, so we ran back to the path. Once we were in the town Geophry read to us again:

       "The gravel road leads to a village, its tall houses dark as tombstones. Nestled among these solemn dwellings are a handful of closed-up shops. Even the tavern is shut tight.

       "A soft whimpering draws your eye toward a pair of children standing in the middle of an otherwise lifeless street."* He told us they were siblings, an older girl and a younger boy who was crying and holding a stuffed doll. His sister was shushing him, before we approached to find out what was going on.

       Geophry read to us: "After shushing the boy, the girl turns to you and says, 'There's a monster in our house!' She then points to a tall brick row house that has seen better days. Its windows are dark. It has a gated portico on the ground floor, and the rusty gate is slightly ajar. The houses on either side are abandoned, their windows and doors boarded up."*

       They told us that their parents had trapped the monster in the basement, but they didn't know what the monster was, but had heard it howling. They also said that on the third floor was Walter, their baby brother. We told them we would help them, and before we went to the house Rosebud- Herman- gave them some of his heroins.

       Then, Lith and Mithrilye said they wanted to play, and Geophry decided to rewind the entire encounter to bring them in. I don't know why the silly chair decided that was the best way to do it, but whatever. I still hadn't gotten even a little tipsy though, this was frustrating; I thought we had better booze than this.

       So now we were walking back into town, hearing the crying, etc, but this time there were two people, Stoaga and Prusaadi (Lith and Mithrilye's characters) were banging on the door of the obviously closed tavern. We talked to the kids again, got the quest to help them, and recruited the two new additions to help us.

       We opened the large wrought-iron gate, which shrieked with age as we opened it. "Hanging on the south wall of the foyer is a shield emblazoned with a coat-of-arms flanked by framed portraits of
stony-faced aristocrats."* Geophry said they were aristocats, and while I tried to explain to him what an aristocrat is, but he was not understanding- so there were cat portraits hanging in the foyer. I wish I was drunk.

       We moved into a  room with a huge staircase, with a sword hanging above the mantle- that Mezzem decided to steal for some reason. Then we went into a cloak room where I found a cloak that Chairy said was magic, I think it only makes me take one damage when hit, but we'll see; Mithrilye gave me a magic stick to go with it, but she didn't tell me what it does. Rosebud went insane from his heroins somehow, and Lith asked the spirits to help us- I have no idea what she was going on about. This wine sucks.

       The next room we entered was oak paneled, and resembled a hunter's den. "Mounted above the fireplace is a stag's head, and positioned around the outskirts of the room are three stuffed wolves.

       "Two padded chairs draped in animal furs face the hearth, with an oak table between them supporting a cask of wine, two carved wooden goblets, a pipe rack, and a candelabrum. A chandelier hangs above a cloth-covered table surrounded by four chairs."* Geophry said there were also a couple of cabinets in the room that were locked.

       I used that Light spell again- that would be such a useful spell in the Underdark! I wish I actually could do that with magic- but Geophry said that only made the room look eerie. Rosebud cut the head off of one of the stuffed wolves, and Mezzem broke into the cabinet, finding some crossbows.

       We moved on to the dining room, and Geophry again read the scene to us: "The centerpiece of this wood-paneled dining room is a carved mahogany table surrounded by eight highbacked
chairs,"*

       "Hey, they're like me!"Geophry exclaimed,

       "with sculpted armrests and cushioned seats. A crystal chandelier hangs above the table, which is covered with resplendent silverware and crystal ware polished to a dazzling shine. Mounted above the marble fireplace is a mahogany-framed painting of an alpine vale. The wall paneling is carved with elegant images of deer among the trees...

       "Red silk drapes cover the windows, and a tapestry depicting hunting dogs and horse-mounted aristocrats chasing after a wolf hangs from an iron rod bolted to the south wall."*

       Rosebud decided to attack the chandelier, but he rolled really bad, so his trident just got tangled in it instead. I used my favorite cantrip to light up the chandelier, and then Mithrilye used Eldritch Blast to shatter it, giving it a really cool effect. At this point we were kind of bored with this section of the house, so we decided to go upstairs. There was a dumbwaiter, but we couldn't really fit in the stupid thing, so we just used the stairs.

       For some reason Rosebud decided to start hacking up the stairs as we went up them, though his objective for doing that made no sense. We wound up in what Geophry called the Conservatory, before he began reading to us again: "Gossamer drapes cover the windows of this elegantly
appointed hall, which has a brass-plated chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Upholstered chairs (Like me!) line the walls, and stained-glass wall hangings depict beautiful men, women, and children singing and playing instruments.

       "A harpsichord with a bench rests in the northwest corner. Near the fireplace is a large standing harp. Alabaster figurines of well-dressed dancers adorn the mantelpiece."* Mithrilye went to play the harpsichord and broke the strings- she was not happy that her character couldn't play an instrument she was normally able to play with no issue. Rosebud then pulled out his own personal harp and played that for a moment, before his character went over to the harp in the room, and played it very well. I took one of the figurines, turns out they were well dressed skeletons, but Mithrilye told me they were magic, so I kept one. Rosebud broke the rest of them for some reason.

       We moved on to the library next, "Red velvet drapes cover the windows of this room. An exquisite mahogany desk and a matching high-back chair face the entrance and the fireplace, above which hangs a framed picture of a windmill perched atop a rocky crag. Situated in corners of the room are two overstuffed chairs. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves line the south wall. A rolling wooden ladder allows one to more easily reach the high shelves."* Rosebud stabbed the painting for some reason, and then Mezzem found a secret doorway.

       The secret room was packed with bookshelves again, and "A heavy wooden chest with clawed iron feet stands against the south wall, its lid half-closed. Sticking out of the chest is a skeleton in leather armor... Three darts are stuck in the dead adventurer's armor and ribcage... Clutched in the skeleton's left hand is a letter bearing the seal of Strahd von Zarovich, which the adventurer
tried to remove from the chest. Written in flowing script, the letter reads as follows:

"My most pathetic servant,

I am not a messiah sent to you by the Dark Powers

of this land. I have not come to lead you on a path to

immortality. However many souls you have bled on your

hidden altar, however many visitors you have tortured

in your dungeon, know that you are not the ones who

brought me to this beautiful land. You are but worms

writhing in my earth.

You say that you are cursed, your fortunes spent. You

abandoned love for madness, took solace in the bosom

of another woman, and sired a stillborn son. Cursed by

darkness? Of that I have no doubt. Save you from your

wretchedness? I think not. I much prefer you as you are.

Your dread lord and master,

Strahd van Zarovich"*

       Lith decided to steal some of the tomes on the shelf, and Rosebud snagged the scrolls we found in the chest, giving them to me since they were on my spell list. We were pretty much done with this floor, so we headed up the stairs again to the third floor. Right before we turned to go up the stairs Mezzem- for real, not her character- jumped out of her seat, muttered something about Turvy and took off. 

       The landing to the next floor was covered in dust, which was odd since the first two floors were so pristine. The filthy landing had a suit of armor on it, and when Lith walked past it, it attacked her. She fell unconscious, but I was able to revive her when I got up the stairs. Without getting up, she slashed at it and missed. Then Mithrilye's character got up the stairs, shot an Eldritch Blast at it and missed. 

       The suit of armor lunged at me, but I used that Lucky feat that Geophry had given me, making it reroll its die- and it rolled a one, giving all of us what Chairy called an attack of opportunity. Lily's character got up the stairs at this point and disarmed the suit with his whip. Rosebud's character stabbed at it with a rapier, and missed with his trident. How in the Nine was hitting a fucking suit of armor so difficult? I missed it with my Sacred Flame cantrip, and Lith hit it with her rapier. Which I didn't think would work, since there's nothing under the armor to stab with the rapier- but Geophry said they work, probably because so many of us have the damn things. 

       The armor punched Lily's character, and Lith barely hit the damn thing again- Rosebud and I missed it again. Then somehow Mithrilye made it start punching itself, Lily joked that it should stop hitting itself right before it punched its own head off, crumpling to the ground. Rosebud wanted to put on the armor but Chairy wouldn't let him. 

       While the rest of us moved on to one room, Lily decided his character should check another room on his own. We found ourselves in a boring, dusty bedroom, but Lily was in the nursery. Remembering baby Walter, he went to check on the crib, only to have a flying skeletal looking woman fly at him. Lily's character dropped dead- "Haha! I killed you Mommy!" Geophry taunted, apparently proud of killing Lily's character; Rosebud was pissed, and yelled at the chair for hurting his Momma. It was kind of funny, would have been better if I was fucking drunk though. 

       Lily's next character, the ranger named Terran, appeared in front of the house and started to walk in, as the rest of us went into the room that Lily had just died in. We found the spectre hovering over the body of Baron von Styx-bane and Lith aimed her crossbow at it. I followed suit by throwing a Sacred Flame at it, and Rosebud's character missed with his trident, again, but hit with the rapier. Then the spectre tried to attack Rosebud, and missed. Mithrilye blasted it and Lith got the killing- rekilling?- blow in. She then drank Lily's blood to try to become a blood hunter, Geophry didn't say if it worked though.

       I checked the crib, and there was a bundle wrapped in a blanket, which looked to be baby sized. I unwrapped it and found nothing inside- fucking weird. We really need better booze in this Tower. Rosebud found a secret door behind a mirror, and at that point Lily's character joined us and said he'd join our quest. 

       The secret door revealed a cobweb filled staircase, that led up to a locked door. Thankfully Lily's last character had found the key in one of the other rooms we'd searched, so we didn't have to try to pick the lock. That door revealed a filthy hallway with more doors. The first room we entered had "a slender bed, a nightstand, a small iron stove, a writing desk with a stool, an empty wardrobe, and a rocking chair. A smiling doll in a lacy yellow dress sits in the northern window box, cobwebs draping it like a wedding veil."* The doll was fucking creepy sounding, so Lith attempted to bast it, but she missed. 

       There didn't seem to be anything useful in that room, so we moved on to what ended up being another locked door, but we had the key for it too. "This room contains a bricked-up window flanked by two dusty, wood-framed beds sized for children. Closer to the door is a toy chest with windmills painted on its sides and a dollhouse that's a perfect replica of the dreary edifice in which you stand. These furnishings are draped in cobwebs. Lying in the middle of the floor are two small skeletons wearing tattered but familiar clothing. The smaller of the two cradles a stuffed doll that you also recognize."* The doll was the same one we'd seen the crying boy holding in town earlier. Only Lily's character stayed in that room to investigate it. Lith and I walked off and found another filthy room with nothing useful inside. 

       Mithrilye's character went into a room that "is packed with old furniture (chairs (Like me!), coat racks, standing mirrors, dress mannequins, and the like), all draped in dusty white sheets. Near an iron stove, underneath one of the sheets, is an unlocked wooden trunk containing the skeletal remains of the family's nursemaid, wrapped in a tattered bedsheet stained with dry blood."* That skeleton was the spectre that had killed Lily's last character. 

       Lily's character talked to the children's ghosts, who told him that their parents had locked them in this room to protect them from the monster in the basement, and they had starved to death. He told the children we would help them and turned to leave, then the little boy possessed him. 

       Lith and I found a secret stairway and called out to everyone else, which the ghost possessing Lily said we needed to not go down. Then the ghost of the little girl possessed Rosebud, and the sister convinced her brother to come down to the dungeon with us. 

       We went down a stone spiral staircase that was filled with cobwebs and dust, Geophry said we went down about fifty feet before we were in the dark dungeon. I used my favorite spell to light up the area so we could all see since humans can't see in the dark. We could hear an eerie chanting as soon as we got into the dungeon, but we couldn't tell what the chant was saying, or where it was coming from. Lith and Mithrilye decided we should split up, even though I said that was a really bad idea. I stuck with Lily and Rosebud, since they were both possessed, I figured they needed more supervision than Lith and Mithrilye. 

       Lith and Mithrilye found living quarters in their area, and began looting the little chests in the rooms. Mithrilye decided to jump down a well that was in the area they were searching, but when she didn't find anything Lith pulled her back up. As they moved through the tunnels the chanting began to grow louder. But then Lith fell into a pit trap and died. Mithrilye used a rope to go after her in the pit to get the loot she had been carrying. 

      The ghost possessing Rosebud's character didn't like being told what to do, so I told him not to go in a room to get him to go in one. We came upon a tomb, with an empty stone coffin that had the name Elisabeth Durst carved into it. Several things seemed to happen at once: Rosebud pried open the coffin for some reason and insects began swarming out of it, Lily took some of Rosebud's heroins and got really fucked up, and then Rosebud started hitting them and they exploded- from eating the heroins. The ghost in Lily tried to go for me, but I succeeded at my saving throw. 

       The next tomb we entered held another empty coffin, and the one after that was intended for the children possessing us. We laid their remains to rest and the ghosts left Lily and Rosebud. We then found what appeared to be a dining hall, with moldy bones strewn around them room. As we looked around a grick popped out and went for us. The three of us fell upon it, the boys hacking at it while I slung spells at it. It managed to drop Rosebud, but I revived him- he rose and got the killing blow. 

       We heard shaking in the next room, and went in to find Mithrilye's character climbing out of the pit trap. Lith's new character, Ravamorel, randomly appeared in the dungeon, and four ghouls rose around her, moving aggressively toward her. We heard the sounds of fighting in the hallway. Mithrilye's character used her rope to swing across the pit to get behind the ghouls. 

       As we reached the ghouls, one of them hit Lith and she got paralyzed. Rosebud's character went to help and got hit by one of the ghouls, he went down. Another went for Mithrilye, but as I struck it it turned on me, paralyzed me and I went down. I kind of stopped paying attention after that, because I was drunk and having trouble following this confusing game. 

       Someone revived my character as Mithrilye's began throwing the ghouls in the pit. With them gone, Geophry announced that we smelled smoke. Rosebud found another set of secret stairs that led up, and everything up there was on fire. As Herman- Rosebud- touched the door, he got stuck to it; Lily's character ripped him off of the door. But pulling Herman off the door caused him to go unconscious and begin bleeding out. Lily's character revived him, and then the door lurched at him; he was now stuck to the door and bleeding. Rosebud's character ran away from the mimic and Lily's character, I suppose he just didn't know what to do. The door healed Lily's character and told him that if he fed it the rest of us it would let him live. Lily said no and died. Geophry again exclaimed with glee that he had killed mommy again. 

       Mithrilye found a set of stairs that led down, and blasted the door at the bottom- which increased the chanting. She could now make out voices saying "He is the Ancient. He is the Land."* As she looked around the room she found a small wooden coffer that held a dire wolf's withered tongue. Rosebud's character caught up with us, as we reached a portcullis that blocked our path.

       Lily's new character, the sorcerer named Searos, awoke to find himself in a bed with a chest that contained magic items at the foot of it. He was on the other side of the mimic door, and ended up getting into a nasty struggle with it, barely escaping, and rushing to catch up with us. 

       We couldn't find a way of opening to portcullis, so we turned back and went down a different path; we were now in some sort of prison. There were skeletal remains everywhere and evidence that they had been chained up with the rusty shackles that lined the walls. Mithrilye found another secret door, and once Lily's latest character caught up with us, we went down again. It seems like we find nothing but staircases here. 

       We went down the stairs and Geophry read to us: "The chanting stops as you peer into this forty-foot-square room. The smooth masonry walls provide excellent acoustics. Featureless stone pillars support the ceiling, and a breach in the west wall leads to a dark cave heaped with refuse. Murky water covers most of the floor. Stairs lead up to dry stone ledges that hug the walls. In the middle of the room, more stairs rise to form an octagonal dais that also rises above the water. Rusty chains with

shackles dangle from the ceiling directly above a stone altar mounted on the dais. The altar is carved with hideous depictions of grasping ghouls and is stained with dry blood."*

      The altar was clearly sacrificial, but we didn't know who the sacrifice was supposed to be to or what would happen if one was made. As Mithrilye got up the stairs of the dais "The chanting rises once more as thirteen dark apparitions appear on the ledges overlooking the room. Each one resembles a black-robed figure holding a torch, but the torch's fire is black and seems to draw light into it. Where you'd expect to see faces are voids.

       "'One must die!' they chant, over and over. 'One must die! One must die!'"* But when Mithrilye turned away from the dais, the chant changed. "'Lorghoth the Decayer, we awaken thee!'"* The refuse pile we hadn't paid much attention to moved to attack us. It was a shambling mound, like the one that tried to eat Roswyn and I back in Neverlight Grove. Rosebud, Lily, and I began slinging attacks at it, but it got to Lily's character and killed him again. Geophry was giddy this time at killing Lily yet again.

       Lily's new character, a wizard called Dariries, appeared hanging by his feet in chains that dangled above the dais. I was the next victim of the mound, and Geophry was so pleased to have killed me finally; he seemed to have made it his goal to kill all of us at least once in this odd game of his. Rosebud whacked the mound with his blade, Lily's new character gave it frostbite, and Mithrilye used something called Phantasmal Killer to finish it off.

       My new character, a druid named Zinnarath, appeared inside the fucking mound, because Chairy is a jackass. I turned her into a rat and began digging my way out. Mithrilye's character helped me get out of the mound. There was fire in the room I guess- I must have missed that when I was getting a new bottle- and Lily's wizard began casting that frost bite spell at it, which triggered a trap and killed him... This was getting ridiculous. 

       My character looked for another exit that wasn't on fire, but couldn't find one, so I began passing up buckets of water so we could escape this stupid house. Rosebud's character piled a bunch of food on the altar, but nothing happened. Then for some reason Rosebud attacked Mithrilye and yelled "one must die!" Lily's new character, the monk called Graster popped out of the water in the room, and knocked out Rosebud's character. 

       Then Mithrilye attacked Lily and killed his monk on the altar. Geophry said it felt like the house shuddered as Lily's latest character died. Those of us still alive ran for the window up the stairs to escape. Lith's character tripped and died before she could make it out the window, but the rest of us survived. 

       That was the end of this strange game of Geophry's. Not quite how I expected to spend the days before we fight the Pudding King. 

Photo from Curse of Strahd Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations, and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module or the Curse of Strahd Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.