Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Twenty-Six

The Tower of Corbies Part 1:

A Shitty Situation

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion
Osaw, Tali's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Halftaur" Wererat Berserker; who sees magic where there is none
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud's "Momma"

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who really likes killing things
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild
Medic Stonebandage, the Deep Gnome Priest of Smoothhands from the Stoneheart Enclave
Smoothpalm, the Deep Gnome Monk of Smoothhands
Terrik Stoneshot, the Deep Gnome Gunslinger from the Bounty Hunter's Guild
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Commoner
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Commoner

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Stool, the Myconid Child- unwilling dance partner to drunk stone giant

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut- retired in Blingdenstone
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins- stayed in Blingdenstone

Friendly fire overall: 146

Party members killed: 22

Overall party members lost: 31

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Highharvestide Holiday, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       As we assessed the situation below us, two vrocks flew out of the tower, dove and grabbed a mane each, and shredded the shit out of them. They then flipped around and flew back to the tower, vanishing as they reached it. Weird... Screams began to echo through the cavern, the sound made it feel like my brain was peeling from the noise, and the manes and dretches retreated. Most of our group fell over stunned at the sound.

       Once everyone had their wits about them, we decided who should go to the tower and who should stay behind at the caravan. It ended up being Lily, Rosebud, Tali, Flimflam, Medic, and myself that would go to the tower, the others would stay behind to protect the caravan. We had to go down a cliff to reach the level the tower was on, so Lily cast Featherfall on all of us so we could just jump off the ledge.

       There was a huge chasm that we would have to cross to get to the door of the tower, and there was no bridge, of course. Lily grabbed Flimflam and used a portal thingy that put them on the opposite side of the chasm. Flimflam then proceeded to blow the door open, announcing our presence before all of us were there and ready to battle. Tali shifted, grabbed Medic and leapt across. I downed a potion of gaseous form to get across, and Tali called back to Rosebud she'd hop back over in a moment to help him- the boy paced anxiously.

       Lily summoned a large, green spectral hand to block the doorway, keeping the corbies in so we could cross safely. Flimflam shot two fireballs over Lily's Hand, and as they erupted manacles appeared on his wrists, and Medic was outlined in faerie fire. Twenty-three corbies were slain by Flimflam's blast. Smoke began billowing out of the doorway, making my stomach do cartwheels, but I was able to keep my breakfast down. Poor Medic on the other hand was puking violently, he swayed as if stunned, and his eyes began watering. Flimflam somehow managed to turn the manacles that had appeared on his wrists invisible while struggling to get them off, I don't know how he manages to do such odd things with his magic, but I've never seen spells do such things at random before. I suppose he just isn't as disciplined- or sane- as the War Wizards in Cormyr.

       When Medic had his wits about him again, Lily moved his Hand so we could enter the building. The poor priest was again violently ill, but this time so was Tali and Yklwa. It turned out that the corbies had pretty much coated the room in shit, and Flimflam's fireballs turned the shit into a horrible, noxious gas. I couldn't even get an idea of what this room used to look like, there was no furniture, no artwork, nothing, just a room painted in shit- that was now smoldering.

       We could hear movement in the adjoining room, and could vaguely make out shapes moving in the smoky haze. Lily used his magic to light up the room, but we still couldn't really make out any details. As we began to approach that room, Medic and Yklwa were sickened anew- there couldn't be much left for them to upchuck at this point.

       Rosebud charged into the room and cleaved through two of the corbies, killing them instantly. Tali bounded in after him and sunk her teeth into one- that couldn't have tasted good- and I followed her, activated my Rod's spear function, and finished that one off. The final corby in this room took a swipe at Rosebud, and completely biffed it. Rosebud responded with a mule kick to the head, killing it.

       Medic was still completely miserable, and pretty much useless, so as soon as we finished off the corbies, he said he wanted to go back to the caravan. Lily used her dimensional doorway spell again, and swapped Medic out for Mezzem. After we swapped those two out, we headed for the next room.

       When we attempted to quietly open the door to the next room, it squeaked- well, we didn't really have much chance of sneaking up on them anyways after Flimflam's explosion. Rosebud cried out "for momma!" and charged in- corbies swarmed him. They were nasty little fuckers, covered in spikes, their maws dripping acid. The corbies had been hit with a demonic taint, giving them the spikes and acid; they weren't just dire corbies anymore, they were fiendish dire corbies now. Flimflam shot a lightning bolt into the room, which didn't seem to affect them much, and their eyes began glowing red- I'll admit, it was fucking creepy.

       One of the corbies climbed the shit-coated wall and lashed out at Rosebud; another climbed and hit Flimflam, hard enough to drop him unconscious- Lily rushed to his aid and revived him. Tali, having boots that allowed her to climb, walked up the wall and shot at two of them. This little hallway room was getting crowded quickly. Three more of the disgusting creatures attempted to climb the wall, and slipped in their own shit, falling. I suppose that's karma. Mezzem came up and summoned her spirit guardians, and completely blocked the doorway so I couldn't do anything.

       Rosebud dropped two more of them, and opened up a path for me to get in. I dashed in and dropped one with my Rod while Rosebud swung at another one, and I saw one fall from Tali's arrow. Flimflam released a ray of frost at them, which did seem to hurt them, but none fell. Lily stabbed one and announced to us that they seemed to be raging- like what Rosebud does in battle. Joy.

       A spectral weapon appeared and swung at one of the corbies- Mezzem's doing- while I plunged my blade into one, killing it. Two of the corbies struck me in return, as Mezzem's spirit guards dropped one, and Rosebud beat the hell out of one- killing it. Mezzem jumped onto Rosebud's back and struck down the final one in this room. Everything went eerily silent and still. The only things in the room were a couple of eggs, which Rosebud smashed.

       The doorway at the end of the hall we were in was so caked in filth that it was basically glued shut, and Rosebud had to wrestle with it a little to open the damned thing. Loyal Torm, this place is disgusting. Flimflam strode into the room and unleashed a wave of thunder at them. Rosebud, of course, charged in, but this time Mezzem was on his back. One of the corbies was a slightly different color than the others, and was draped in some rags- it saw Mezzem's spirit guards and ended the spell. Great, they have mages, that's fucking fantastic.

       Corbies swarmed Rosebud, since he's such a large target; I hurried in and dropped one of the ones attempting to surround the boy. Tali climbed the wall in the room and killed the mage- thankfully that one seemed easy to kill. Mezzem began slashing at the corbies around Rosebud, since she was still riding him, and dropped one. They all seemed to be interested only in Rosebud, which was making them a little easier to contain. We all began just stabbing the fiends, and made short work of the ones in that room- even Yklwa was getting some hits in.

       We were at the base of a staircase, which Rosebud wanted to charge up blindly, but Lily stopped him. Lily had seen some traps in the walls- though I'm not sure how he spotted them through the fecal wall paint. Before we went up, Mezzem took a moment to heal us all. The traps didn't go off as we went up the stairs, so they were either too caked with shit to work, or the corbies had already set them off on themselves. The door at the top of the stairs was locked, but fortunately Mezzem had a spell that would temporarily cleanse it, allowing us to get the stupid door unlocked.

       The door made a sickening sucking-squishy noise as Rosebud forced it open- this place is fucking disgusting. On the other side of the door was what appeared to have been a small sitting room at some point in its life. There were remnants of couches in it, but they were also decorated in shit, just like everything else in the damned tower thus far- though unlike every other room we've entered, this one was completely void of corbies.

       As we opened the door to the next room, Rosebud convinced Mezzem to toss out a card from his Deck of Illusions, to summon something to aid us. She did, and it produced a fire giant that seemed to give the corbies pause. I stepped in behind it and saw what was once four beds, that had been turned into nests, and six pairs of eyes were facing me and the fire giant. Flimflam came in the room behind me, said he was sorry, and released another wave of thunder into the room- it only stung me, but damn he's reckless.

       Tali strode into the room on the wall again, showoff, and shot one. A black beam hit me square in the chest and pain coursed through me- wonderful, they have more mages. The corbies began swarming Rosebud's fire giants, while a completely white corby with red eyes struck me with a mace, pain lanced through my body as they began swarming me; I bolted back to the stairwell so I could heal a little. They had quite seriously injured me.

       The giant hurt a couple of them as they continued beating on the illusion. Rosebud charged in and attacked the beasts, and I saw a radiant bolt fly from Mezzem right into the albino corby. Flimflam sent a ball of acid at one of the corbies, and Lily insulted the albino; it almost fell off the ceiling. The red corby in the room appeared to mutter something and Rosebud's giant vanished. Rosebud kept slashing at the corbies surrounding him, while Mezzem released another bolt of radiant light, killing the albino. Tali was shooting at the red- the mage- as corbies continued to surround Rosebud, and a few even lunged at her. Feeling a little better now, I went back into the fray, and jabbed my spear in between Rosebud and Flimflam to hit one of the corbies. Flimflam unleashed another wave of thunder, killing eight of them, and hitting both Rosebud and Mezzem.

       Another black beam came streaking across the room and hit Rosebud, as two spectral weapons- that were definitely not Mezzem's- popped up on either side of the halftaur, striking both him and the priestess on his back. Lily summoned her giant green hand again, and it pummeled one of the fiends. I saw another one fall from Tali's arrow, at the same time that the warmth and pain of Bahamut's healing light coarsed through me, my flesh beginning to knit closed. I squeezed into the room and hacked at one of them- there really seemed to be no end to these fucking things. Both my target and its spectral weapon retaliated against me.

       Flimflam sent another ball of acid at one, and tried some sort of mind magic on me- I don't know what in the Hells he was thinking. Flimflam's wild magic surge had caused Claire to believe she'd been hit with mind magic, but really nothing of the sort had occurred. Lily insulted one of the red corbies and it dropped. Rosebud dropped another one, and one came up and landed a nasty blow on Lily- I dropped that one before it could hurt her further. Lily's hand grabbed one and literally squeezed it to death, and she insulted the last corby to death.

       Our mages were low on their magical energies, we were all injured and in desperate need of a rest. We barricaded the doors and Lily dropped her magic Hut on us.We should be safe enough while we get a rest.

***** Marpenoth 1, the caravan

       Roswyn, Medic, Seluna, Niles, Twyla, Smoothpalm, and Terrik were waiting back at the caravan for the rest of the party to return. They'd been gone overnight, and the group was a little concerned about them, but they had seen the others in action, and had faith they'd make it out of the tower in one piece. 

       Roswyn spotted a small, six-legged serpent go into the rocks around them. She got the group's attention and pointed it out, but only Seluna was able to see it. The druid said it wasn't a natural creature, and tossed faerie fire at it to illuminate it for the rest of the group, which it dodged easily. The beast took flight, and it looked like a tiny dragon- it was a dracolisk, half dragon and half basilisk. 

       Smoothpalm chucked his basalt sphere at the dracolisk and hit it square in the face. Terrik opened fire on it, and Twyla took a shot with her bow- which she missed horribly. It turned its petrifying gaze on Seluna, and the priestess was suddenly a statue. She was the best equipped to fight the beast, so without her, this fight could get bumpy. 

       Roswyn unleashed three arrows on the dracolisk, but only one struck home. Medic unleashed his sacred flame on it, and it was unable to avoid his holy strike. Smoothpalm and Terrik both stuck it again, and poor Twyla fumbled another arrow. The beast breathed a purple mist at everyone except Roswyn, who was slightly away from the rest of the group. Medic and Twyla were dazed from the mist, and Niles, Smoothpalm, and Terrik were ordered by it to attack each other; they all saw one another as the dracolisk and didn't realize it was an illusion to hurt their friends. 

       The charm was over quickly, though not before Smoothpalm beat poor Niles to a bloody pulp. Roswyn peppered it with more arrows, and Terrik somehow shook off the charm and blasted it- it was bleeding profusely at this point. The petrifying gaze turned to Terrik now, and the gunslinger was turned to stone; it then moved to flee, but Medic was slightly faster. The priest hit it with another sacred flame and then sent his spiritual weapon after it- dealing the final blow. 

       Roswyn revived Niles, but there was nothing she or Medic could do to help Seluna and Terrik; they just didn't have strong enough magic to help them.

The first two levels of the tower

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Twenty-Five

Blingdenstone, the City of Speaking Stones Part 6:

A Home for All Deep Gnomes

Dramatis Personae:

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion
Osaw, Tali's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker; who sees magic where there is none
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud's "Momma"

Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins
Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who really likes killing things
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild
Medic Stonebandage, the Deep Gnome Priest of Smoothhands from the Stoneheart Enclave
Smoothpalm, the Deep Gnome Monk of Smoothhands
Terrik Stoneshot, the Deep Gnome Gunslinger from the Bounty Hunter's Guild
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Commoner
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Commoner

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Stool, the Myconid Child- unwilling dance partner to drunk stone giant

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin who can't sneak- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa

Quests in Blingdenstone:
Discover where the ooze infestation is coming from Found where the oozes were hiding thanks to Chipgrin's information
Parley with, or exterminate, the Goldwhiskers chose to parlay with them since most of the party are also wererats

Cleanse the Steadfast Stone, a temple that has been corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane

Kill medusa and bring Sark her head
tell Yanthal Coaxrock the location of Entemoch's Boon  told Nomi since Yanthal was absent
destroy Vazuk
recover Udhask's remains  gathered his remains, still need to lay Udhask to rest in the catacombs
Harvest samples of elementals corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane and return them to Nomi
Try to banish Ogremoch's Bane Banished
Lay Vort to rest 

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Eleint 9, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       When we arrived at the gates to the Rockblight district for the meeting between the Goldwhiskers and the Diggermattocks, we found the gates open with guards and elementals milling about, working on making the area livable again. We got to the Steadfast Stone early and while we waited for everyone, Rosebud ran around telling everyone the story of our cleansing of the temple- he's definitely the son of a bard.

       Thecker and I approached the Diggermattocks before the meeting about the oozes, recanting our view of the circular room of muck and the voice claiming that the Faceless One wasn't ready for guests yet. We explained what Lily had told us about Juiblex, the Demon Lord that the insane voice was referring to. When we were done, Senni said she would be more than willing to speak with an open mind, since this situation was certainly not one that the gnomes could face alone.

       Thecker went to speak to the twins and Greenpaw, who were the only wererats in attendance, but she shifted before approaching them. The anger that radiated off of Dorbo was audible. He is so full of hate, it makes me sad.

       The meeting began with the twins laying out the information about the Pudding King and his oozes that the Diggermattocks didn't know. This Pudding King was part of the Diggermattock's original expedition into Blingdenstone, and he vanished without a trace. Everyone had presumed him dead, until he began popping up randomly recently.

       Topsy said the wererats wanted to move into a secure part of the city until the Pudding King had been taken care of and they could reclaim the part they currently occupied. This was a time for them to put aside their differences, and realize that even though they're wererats, they're still svirfneblin, and the svirfneblin needed to work together. Senni agreed completely, but asked for assurances that the wererats wouldn't spread once they were integrated into the city. Seluna offered a solution to that fear, in making charms for the wererats that would allow them to stay sane during the full moon and even resist the change. I needed to ask her for one of those in private later- I'm not revealing that I'm a wererat if I can help it, I like the power but not the form.

       After much discussion they finally struck an agreement. Blingdenstone would be a home for all svirfneblin, wererat or not, and they would band together to defeat this ooze threat. We would reconvene in two days with ideas for how to take out the Pudding King. Dorbo was disgruntled, but we kind of expected that. This meeting went much smoother than anticipated.

***** Eleint 10-11

       We spent the next two days excavating Fidget's house, hoping the insane inventor had some tools or schematics for something that could help us. That place was a completely disaster area, and even after two days we felt that we had barely scratched the surface of that place.

***** Eleint 12

       This meeting held a much better atmosphere than the previous one did. Topsy and Senni were getting along, which was not really surprising, and Turvy and Dorbo were glaring at each other- also not surprising. Pretty much everyone we've interacted with in Blingdenstone was present at this meeting, and it ended up being very civil.

       The Diggermattocks said they would provide soldiers, as would the Goldwhiskers. Since we had eliminated Ogremoch's Bane, the Stoneheart Enclave could provide elementals to help in the battle. Kazook Pickshine said that he could concoct an oil that would protect our weapons and armor from the oozes, but he'd need a large quantity of supplies from Neverlight Grove. It was also determined that we needed more arms and armor, so we would escort a caravan to Gracklstugh to trade salt for their weapons.

       We would leave in two days time, and would be going to Neverlight Grove first to collect the components Kazook needed, then we'd go onward to Gracklstugh to unload the salt and get weapons. Seluna would come with us to get components of her own from the Grove so she could make enough moon charms for all of the wererats. Before the meeting adjourned we were all given badges that declared us heroes as a thank you for all we had done so far.

***** Eleint 13

       Over morningfeast Topsy decided to bite Rosebud and Seluna to turn them, I suppose we'll find out tomorrow if it worked. Seluna gave Rosebud and I those control charms, for which I was very grateful.

       After morningfeast we decided to lay those remains to rest and get some of our questions answered by Burrow Warden Jadger. We had planned to ask him how we could prove that Thecker and the twins were part of Sajin's noble family, but when we went to lay Sajin to rest, we found all three of them listed in that area of the crypt.

       Burrow Warden Jadger told us that the Pudding King was named Jerold Smoothstones when he was still a regular svirfneblin. That would give us something to research. We asked him about the increase in demon attacks that had been seen, and he said that there was chaos in the entire Underdark, but he couldn't tell us why. To assist our travels in the caravan he also told us to seek lodestones at the Stoneheart Enclave.

       Once we finished that up, we went around looking to hire guards for our caravan. The Miner's Guild gave us a delver to guide us named Roswyn. The Stoneheart Enclave sent us a cleric named Medic, and Thecker hired a bounty hunter gunslinger named Terrik. A monk called Smoothpalm volunteered to join us for free, and an arcanist with a slightly crazed look in his eye volunteered to join too, he's called Flimflam. With our little group put together, we prepared to leave in the morning.

***** Eleint 14

       We left Blingdenstone first thing in the morning, heading for the Enclave first to get those lodestones. The twins were staying behind since they now led the wererats, and Thecker wanted to retire, so she stayed behind too. Mezzem was willing to come with us even though it meant leaving Turvy behind. The pack lizards we had were elemental, the ones Topsy had summoned before.

**** Eleint 15-16

       We arrived at the Enclave the day after leaving Blingdenstone, and got our lodestones the next day. From there we headed to the Pickshine Mines to get our salt.

***** Eleint 17-20

       Our journey to the mines was silent, thankfully, and on the fourth day we arrived and picked up our salt and food provisions to get us through the journey. We then left for Entemoch's Boon to get our lodestones activated.

***** Eleint 21

       While we waited for our lodestones to be activated, Mezzem, Tali, and I felt something tugging on our backpacks. We fished around and discovered the perfectly round stones we had found the last time we were here was the cause of it. Mezzem thought they needed to go in the circle, and moments after we stepped in the circle with the stones they hatched! It turns out they were basilisk eggs, and the infant basilisks imprinted on each of us, thinking us their mothers. Mezzem named hers Lit, Tali named hers Osaw, and I named mine Riddle.

       They are so cute! Thankfully they aren't born with their petrifying gaze, and can actually choose when they're older to turn it off and on. I'd begin training Riddle with that early.

***** Eleint 22

       We left Entemoch's Boon the next morning and began our travels to the Grove.

***** Eleint 26

       Around midday, Roswyn reported a gruesome scene up ahead. When we neared it, we found that a massacre of epic proportions had taken place in this chamber. There were a couple of carrion crawlers milling about, enjoying their meal. We decided to just skirt around them.

***** Eleint 29

       Roswyn was scouting ahead, when she heard voices speaking in orcish. After a moment, the scout was able to discern that there were twelve orcs in the group, along with a couple of ogres. She snuck back to the party to relay what she had discovered.

       We decided to take Flimflam up with us, and leave the rest of our guards- including Roswyn- behind to guard the caravan. As we got close enough to hear them, Tali told us that the orcs knew we were on our way. The orcs then demanded for us to lay down our arms and step out where they could see us. Lily stepped out and called the speaker a dumbass, which made his face cringe in pain. They opened fire on Lily, but somehow completely missed him.

       Rosebud then charged at them and caved one's skull in for attacking his momma. Two more took swipes at the halftaur, but they all missed. Tali splorted one with an arrow going perfectly into its eyeball. As arrows began to rain down around Rosebud, Lily spewed his poison breath and killed another orc. I was too far away to do anything yet, and I didn't have any clear shots to hurl my Javelin.

       Flimflam muttered that the custard stole his bonnet, and began laughing to himself, then with two thrusts of his hips, two fireballs landed on the orcs, killing a couple and wounding more- I heard the scream of another creature that we couldn't see. The chieftain chucked a spear at Rosebud and somehow managed to hit him, though it still barely grazed him. One of them hit Flimflam with an axe, as I finally was able to get close enough to hit them. I hacked my way through two of the fuckers with the Flame Tongue feature of my Rod.

       The orcs were surrounding Rosebud, and had actually managed to start hitting him. The lad was looking pretty wounded, so as one landed a nasty blow on him, I swung my sword and killed it. Arrows were still raining around Lily, but this time some of them were actually hitting her. I saw one of Tali's arrows sink into an orc as it dropped. More fire hit the orcs from Flimflam, and lightning followed up, he killed about half of them with those spells. We definitely hired the right guy. Rosebud kept swinging his weapon at the orcs, while the chieftain started beating on him. I stabbed it in retaliation again, and suddenly Rosebud swung at me, but missed. Magic must have done that.

       Magic went streaking up to the chief, probably from Mezzem, since it wasn't super destructive. Whatever the priestess did, it seemed to hurt the fucker a lot. Tali's arrows took out the final archer and the chief, and Lily summoned a huge, green hand that punched their cleric. The orcs were dead.

       We found two moon elves tied to a stalagmite in the cavern, one was dead but Lily revivified her before final death could take hold. Their names were Niles and Twyla, and they were prisoners who had been taken as slaves by the orcs. We offered to let the couple come with us, since we would eventually be getting there, and they agreed to join us.

***** Highharvestide Holiday

       We heard the sounds of battle all around us, echoing down the tunnels for miles. Roswyn was able to identify the sounds for us- she's quite helpful. We were hearing dretches, manes, and dire corbies, who sounded pissed. The sounds seemed to be coming from up ahead, and we didn't really have much choice but to press on ahead and see whatever the beasts were doing.

       Part of the wall of our tunnel had collapsed, and was now overlooking another cavern. Inside the cavern were the dretches and manes, attacking a huge tower that the corbies were in. Roswyn said that corbies tend to just take over random empty spaces, like towers, and claim them as their own. Lily realized it was a wizard's tower, and we had to kill all of them to find whatever knowledge was inside. 

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Twenty-Four

Blingdenstone, the City of Speaking Stones Part 5:

The Goldwhiskers

Dramatis Personae:

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Berserker; who sees magic where there is none
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud's "Momma"

Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins
Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Stool, the Myconid Child- unwilling dance partner to drunk stone giant

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin who can't sneak- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa

Quests in Blingdenstone:
Discover where the ooze infestation is coming from
Parley with, or exterminate, the Goldwhiskers

Cleanse the Steadfast Stone, a temple that has been corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane

Kill medusa and bring Sark her head
tell Yanthal Coaxrock the location of Entemoch's Boon  told Nomi since Yanthal was absent
destroy Vazuk they took him out right away
recover Udhask's remains  gathered his remains, still need to lay Udhask to rest in the catacombs
Harvest samples of elementals corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane and return them to Nomi
Try to banish Ogremoch's Bane Banished
Lay Vort to rest 

Friendly fire overall: 143
Party members killed: 22
Overall party members lost: 28

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Eleint 5, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       The day after we returned to the civilized part of Blingdenstone, I went to the Caves of Clattering to see if Dwarvenforge had finished my new hand yet. It was a thing of beauty, made mostly of mithril with adamantine joints, and a spell gem in the palm, with a slot for another one on the back. After an hour, it began working as if it were my flesh and blood hand- I could even feel through it! I loved it. I'd have to be careful not to touch Tali with my left hand, I don't want to risk hurting my friend on accident.

       We also got Rosebud's shoes removed- they were loud and would likely be a liability when traveling the Wilds of the Underdark. Thecker of course reminded me of Dawnbringer, but she was quiet, just really fucking bright. Once we were done making Rosebud's hooves quieter, we decided to head out to the Stoneheart Enclave to bring Nomi the samples and tell her the good news about Ogremoch's Bane.

       The twins were staying behind in Blingdenstone, they had some preparations to make before we went to deal with the wererats. Lily also elected to stay behind, but her reasoning wasn't entirely clear as to why.

      The first leg of this trip to the Enclave was blessedly peaceful.

***** Eleint 6

       As we continued to head toward the Enclave, we heard a roar coming from up ahead, followed by some shouts and growls- probably demons again, I'm getting so tired of fighting demons. After getting a little closer, Thecker decided to sneak forward to scout out the situation. There was a silvery light coming from the chamber up ahead, and a huge roar rang out through the tunnels- the roar sounded like a large hunting cat of some kind- then we heard a demonic scream of pain that was suddenly silenced. Interesting...

       There was a bar-lgura (ape demons) in the chamber, with a jaguar on top of it- guess that explains the feline roar. Another bar-lgura was nearby, poised to charge the cat. It began punching the cat, but it didn't seem to do as much to it as it should have- this was definitely not an ordinary feline. Two large arrows seemed to come from nowhere and slam into Rosebud, though that seemed to just piss him off. Then another pair of them came from a different direction and slammed into Thecker. I fucking hate archers. Mezzem heard words in Abyssal in her head, then became stunned as an arrow plunged into her flesh.

       Tali seemed to have spotted the damn archers and began returning fire, and Thecker followed suit at the bar-lgura on the cat. I watched the cat charge one of the archers, leap onto the ledge it was perched on, and ride it to the ground- it was ripping into the archer, but I didn't see any blood until it hit the ground... interesting. Rosebud charged the bar-lgura and began beating the demon with his hammer, making it turn around and return the blows.

       I saw Thecker crumble to the ground from another arrow, but before I could get to her a glabrezu with a huge, black bastard sword flew down from above and struck me. It fucking hurt. Tali began hitting it with arrows to defend me, while I slapped my automail hand on it and unleashed the necrotic spell that Mezzem had cast into it. Since the bastard was still up, I used the battleaxe feature on my Rod and began hacking at it. Tali followed up my attack with another arrow, and the demon was looking bad. It looked like we didn't need much more to finish it off.

       The cat ran straight up the nearest wall and pounced on the bar-lgura that Rosebud was exchanging blows with. Rosebud continued pounding on the ape demon, as an arrow went streaking past him and right into the cat, throwing it backward. It howled with pain and rage, and then became an elven woman. Of course the cat was a druid.

       Mezzem got her wits about her, and seeing Claire fighting the glabrezu, unleashed a guiding bolt at it. It seemed to know its time had come and began flying back up to the ceiling of the cavern. Tali shot it as it flew, and it immediately plummeted back to the ground, and was impaled on a very sharp stalagmite.

       The bar-lgura crumbled to the ground from a final blow from the druid, so Rosebud was free to help Thecker. Of course the odd little centaur was now being shot at, but he didn't seem to care since his friend was in trouble. I felt warmth course through me as Mezzem released a healing burst from Bahamut, and Thecker stirred. I rushed forward and hurled my javelin at one of the archers, then shot it with my crossbow to follow up. Thecker rose and shot the other archer, dropping it- the noise from the gun made poor Rosebud's ears ring for the next few minutes. 

       A pebble went flying at the final archer, and just before reaching it, it turned into a boulder, splatting it. The elf's name was Seluna, and she was also heading to the Stoneheart Enclave. Since there's strength in numbers, and she's fucking bad ass, we invited her to travel with us. As we spoke to her, she realized the demons had come from the direction of the Enclave, so we halted conversation and hurried to aid them.

       The tunnel was littered with the corpses of demons, there had certainly been a large battle here. When we reached the Enclave, there were a lot more elementals milling about, but it seemed completely untouched. Nomi told us there had been an increase of demon attacks lately, but no one was sure of why. She was overjoyed by the news that we had banished Ogremoch's Bane, and was very pleased by the samples we gave her. We decided to stay in the Enclave for the night.

***** Eleint 7

       The next morning when we prepared to return to Blingdenstone, Seluna said she would like to join us, since she had business there too. Our travels today were thankfully peaceful.

***** Eleint 8

       As we neared Blingdenstone, we began seeing signs of demonic activity again. We figured the city itself would be fine, it is well fortified, and when we finally arrived we discovered that it was.

       When we got back to Thecker's place, we found an envoy from the Diggermattocks passed out, with Lily telling them stories. We knew the Diggermattocks probably wanted an update on what we had been up to, so we just left the envoy with Lily and headed to meet them.

       We told them about defeating Ogremoch's Bane, cleansing the Steadfast Stone, and slaying the medusa. Our plan was to speak to the Goldwhiskers next, but that would wait until tomorrow- we wanted to hit the shops first.

       None of us found what we were looking for in the market, though Rosebud got a Deck of Illusions- it'll be interesting to see what he does with that. We visited Dwarvenforge next, and I gave him all of our drow equipment and the enormous bastard sword from the glabrezu to make me a really bad ass shield. Tali requested an awesome bow too, and gave him one of the ones from the demons.

       That night at the tavern we learned that Thecker had purchased it, we attempted to make a plan. Thecker showed us her ring that lets her shift into a little rat, the twins and Mezzem also had those. When Thecker shifted into a tiny rat, on the table, Rosebud flipped the fuck out. He yelled at the rat to stay away from Thecker's food, and grabbed her and stuffed her in a bag. He means well, but damn. Mezzem attempted to calm Rosebud by shifting into a rat too, and the odd little centaur lunged at her. Turvy, being the over possessive ass that he is, stabbed Rosebud for looking at Mezzem; then he accidentally stabbed Mezzem himself...

       We eventually calmed Rosebud and made him understand that the rat was Thecker. He pulled her out of his bag, apologized, and dropped her onto her plate of food. Having this kid around is going to be interesting.

***** Eleint 9

       Rosebud pulled out the deck of cards he had bought at the market yesterday, and with them he summoned two mages... The fuck? He ordered them to attack his enemies, and for some reason they turned on me. What Claire doesn't understand is that the illusions from the deck can only hurt you if you believe they're real; both Claire and Rosebud thought they were real, and so they attacked the only person they could- Claire. A fireball was launched in my direction by them, but I was able to get behind my shield quickly. Rosebud then told them I wasn't an enemy and they needed to go attack the wererats. They walked through the door, presumably toward the wererat warren. Rosebud proudly declared himself a powerful summoner.

       Mezzem decided to be, kind of mean really, and asked Rosebud if she could borrow his deck to study it. She obviously didn't want him summoning random things, but hey, I say let the boy have his fun, so long as they don't attack me again.

       Seluna and Lily stayed behind when we left to take care of the wererats, and we decided to just go for the direct route to the Goldwhiskers this time. The tunnel was still collapsed, so we decided to use some elementals to help us. We took that horn we had found in Rockblight, and summoned six gargoyles... who promptly attacked us. Turns out we hadn't gotten that cleansed at the Enclave.

       Thecker opened fire on them, badly injuring one of them right away. Rosebud charged one and smashed it. Thecker shot at another one as Mezzem unleashed a bolt of radiant energy at one. Tali finished one off with some arrows, and Topsy hurled her boomerang at another. Turvy killed one, and when he moved in to hit another one, he stabbed Rosebud instead... he's really good at that. Rosebud smashed the last one, and that was the end of those elementals. Topsy said the horn was cursed and we couldn't use it until it had been cleansed.

       Mezzem's elemental gem had been cleansed, and so she summoned that elemental to clear the stupid tunnel for us.

       The twins and Mezzem shifted into normal sized rats and scouted ahead of us. They did a fucking fantastic job of noticing the pressure plates that we all ended up stepping on... Topsy told Thecker through the ring, since it allows telepathic communication, that the wererats knew the party was there. Thecker booked it, running past the traps, setting most of them off along the way, though she seemed to dodge them. Tali started forward and got hit by a bunch of darts. Rosebud pulled out his bagpipes and began to play them as he ran through the traps, getting hit by some of them. I followed suit and ran though, somehow dodging the stupid darts.

       Thecker ran straight to the group of rats waiting at the end of the tunnel for us, and shifted into a wererat, calling out "My friends! Parley!" I came up behind her, but stayed human. I'm not fond of being in rat form. Tali finally made it through the tunnel of traps, and looked seriously beat up from it. "A small crowd has gathered here. Most of the assembled creatures are deep gnomes, but some have ratlike features- including a fat specimen standing in front of the others, smiling at us with jagged buckteeth. 'Peace,' the big wererat says. He took a step forward, arms extended and hands open. 'Chipgrin's the name. I'm the chief of the Goldwhiskers clan. Shall we talk?'"* I counted about five or so dozen wererats in the crowd around us, and we agreed to go somewhere Chipgrin claimed was more comfortable to speak.

       Chipgrin led us to a small plateau that he claimed was his personal retreat- I think we're off to a decent start with him. Of course Thecker and I both being wererats helps- I didn't shift, but they could tell. "Stairs led to the top of the rise, where the floor is covered with a soft and well-manufactured carpet of green moss. The wererat chief sat on a stone chair flanked by two giant rats. Draped over the chair's back is a cave badger pelt.

       "'Let's get down to the brass hobnails, then. You were sent by the Diggermattocks 'cause they want us out, right? Right?! Well, they might get their wish soon enough, but in a way they ain't likely to cheer about.'"* He told us that they have been under constant attacks by oozes as of late, and were close to fleeing the settlement, which would leave the rest of the svirfneblin to fend for themselves. He said he had some information that would likely make the Diggermattocks more willing to broker peace, it had to do with the oozes- but didn't want to tell us what just yet.

       We arranged to make a peaceful meeting the next day between him and the Diggermattocks, in the Steadfast Stone since that was neutral territory. Once that had been agreed upon, Chipgrin was willing to share his information with us. He said there was a mysterious figure that seemed to be controlling the oozes, "'I remember him from when he worked in the tunnels, and my kin saw him when he returned. I know who he is, what he's doing, and- most of all- where he can be found! If you and the Diggermattocks want, I can take you straight to him- he what calls himself the Pudding King.'"* He said that the oozes were in the northwest quadrant of the city, but that didn't give us much to go on.

       Thecker told them we have an ace in the hole, something that can give us a lot of leverage, I was confused, but growing up in Cormyr has taught me to just pretend I know what's happening even when I don't. After some circular talking about our aces, she told the twins to shift- Chipgrin hadn't noticed the small rats perched on the arms of his chair. Topsy shifted first, and Chipgrin looked at her like he'd seen a ghost- he called her Snipsy; when Turvy shifted he called him Snapsy, and appeared to be having a heart attack. Mezzem quickly shifted into her hybrid form- since a kobold randomly appearing would have made things get ugly- and assisted the chief.

       Once Chipgrin was settled, but completely catatonic, his advisor, Yornik Greenpaw stepped in to speak with us. The twins were completely confused by what had just happened, They said that Snipsy was their mother's name, but they didn't remember much of her, she died when they were very young- they did look related to Chipgrin. Yornik told us that Snipsy was Chipgrin's daughter, and about twenty years ago she was exiled for becoming pregnant by her twin brother, Snapsy. Snapsy had received a much rougher punishment- he was executed. According to Yornik, the twins are pretty much identical to their parents, which is why Chipgrin reacted like he'd seen ghosts- he basically had. Well, this changed things quite a bit. With Chipgrin completely catatonic, Topsy stepped in as leader, since she was technically next of kin; she loved it.

       Thecker called for food and booze while we all sat down and hashed everything out about the oozes, the impending peace talks, and the twins new role in life. We decided we would go scout the damn oozes, and possibly take them out on our own- which would greatly help the Goldwhiskers in the talks. Yornik began doing everything he could to begin preparing the twins to lead this conversation in their grandfather's stead.

       We decided to update the Diggermattocks on what was happening, and Rosebud instantly took off at a full run... I sent Tali after him to properly explain what Rosebud was about to tell them. Rosebud burst into the Diggermattock's hall, and blurted out everything that had been discussed in about 15 seconds, so of course it didn't make much sense. Tali got there just as Rosebud was running out, and smoothed things over. The Diggermattocks agreed to meet the Goldwhiskers in two hours, and neutral party would mediate the conversation. 

       Once Rosebud and Tali were back, we left to scout the oozes. Seluna had joined us by this point, since she would be one of the mediators at the meeting. The druid warded us against the oozes, making so they wouldn't hurt us quite as badly. Yornik showed us the locations of the traps between us and the oozes, so that we wouldn't get hit by them.

       As we moved through the tunnels, Mezzem spotted a rune in a disgusting refuse pile, that marked the place as Sajin's ancestral home. I doubled over laughing. Of course the asshole's ancestral home, that he had hoped to claim, was in a stinky pile of refuse. Eew.

       We came across several bodies that had been partially digested by oozes- we knew the signs thanks to Glabbagool; having him here would have been nice, he could have spied on them for us. In the tunnel ahead was a blackish-red ooze that was leaving a smoldering trail behind it, as if it were lava. That's not fucking good. There was also a black drip coming from the ceiling. Somehow Thecker could not see them at all, even though they were right in front of us- she asked for one of us to point them out. Rosebud began to charge in, then apparently remembered that Lily had told him to wear goggles against the oozes, and turned around to get some from Mezzem.

       After handing Rosebud some goggles, Mezzem released a bolt of divine radiance at the red one. Tali launched several arrows into the ooze. The black one had reached the ground and it collided with the red one, it caught flame and began to grow... Not good. Rosebud, now wearing his eye protection, charged out once more and attacked the black ooze- his sword got stuck in it and he had to strain hard to get the weapon free. Thecker used her ice gun on the red ooze, and it froze instantly. I popped off a shot at the black one that was still advancing toward us.

       Suddenly, a piece of marble that had looked like wall, detached and turned into a fucking ooze- it swiped at me and thankfully missed. Seluna shifted into a panther and tore into the black ooze, yet she somehow left no marks- interesting ability. Mezzem and Tali both directed their attacks at the marble pudding attacking me, while the black one advanced on Rosebud- and his shield got stuck... Thecker shot it with her ice gun and it melted. All that seemed to be left was the marble attacking me.

       I stabbed the marble with my Rod's spear function, and the damned thing split. I thought that they only split from slashing blades. Shit. I stumbled as it split and got stuck to the fucking wall, then one of the marbles decided to make me even more stuck by hardening around me. Seluna torn into one of the marbles and killed it, and Tali took care of the second one. I managed to get myself free of the stupid wall. We moved on to find the Pudding King.

       The Pudding King's court was housed in what used to be the heart of Blingdenstone's government. "The walls of the great cavern were covered in slime- dripping, sickening green slime. Echoes of dripping water also fill the cave, in the center of which is a large spherical structure is held up off the floor by stone pillars. Around these pillars crawl dozens of living oozes, heaving forward while reaching out with grasping pseudopods. The sphere's surface, like the cave walls, is covered with slime. Black slime swirls with yellow and gray slime in a disgusting soup, the unearthly patterns in the movement of the slime straining our eyes and tugging at our minds.

       "A disembodied voices filled the cave. 'What's this, what's this? Visitors? Now? Not yet! We're not ready! Go away, pests! I will call upon thee and all of Blingdenstone to announce our glad tidings of the Faceless Lord to come at the proper time! Begone!'"*

       Watching the slime soup tugged at Rosebud's sanity, and for the next hour his personality is only what he consumes. Since their last meal was cave badger, he believed himself to be a badger. This place was fucking disgusting. The oozes began slowly moving toward us, and we knew we'd need backup to fight this, but since we'd seen how bad it is, we had good intel for the meeting- that should help us broker peace.

       Mezzem prayed for Bahamut's aid in this, but she sensed he wanted to help but couldn't. Apparently this Faceless One is a demon lord. We asked Lily about it and apparently she knows pretty much everything about it:

       "Called the Faceless Lord and the Oozing Hunger in ancient grimoires, Juiblex is a demon lord of slime and ooze, a noxious creature that doesn't care about the plots and schemes of others of its kind. It exists only to consume, digesting and transforming living matter into more of itself.

       "A true horror, Juiblex is a mass of bubbling slime, swirling black and green, with glaring red eyes floating and shifting within it. It can rise up like a 20-foot hill, lashing out with dripping pseudopods to drag victims into its bulk. Those consumed by Juiblex are obliterated.

       "Only the truly insane worship Juiblex and tend to its slimes and oozes. Those who offer themselves up to the demon lord are engulfed by it and become vaguely humanoid, sentient oozes. The bodies of these former flesh-and-blood creatures for Juiblex's extended physical body, while the demon lord slowly digests and savors their identities over time."*

       Well, that doesn't sound good. Shit...

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Twenty-Three

Blingdenstone, the City of Speaking Stones Part 4:

Rockblight District: Medusa's Lair

Dramatis Personae:

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin who can't sneak
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Berserker; who sees magic where there is none
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud's "Momma"

Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim who compulsively keeps everything she finds- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Stool, the Myconid Child- unwilling dance partner to drunk stone giant

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny

Quests in Blingdenstone:
Discover where the ooze infestation is coming from
Parley with, or exterminate, the Goldwhiskers

Cleanse the Steadfast Stone, a temple that has been corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane

Kill medusa and bring Sark her head
tell Yanthal Coaxrock the location of Entemoch's Boon  told Nomi since Yanthal was absent
destroy Vazuk they took him out right away
recover Udhask's remains  gathered his remains, still need to lay Udhask to rest in the catacombs
Harvest samples of elementals corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane and return them to Nomi
Try to banish Ogremoch's Bane Banished

Friendly fire overall: 140

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Eleint 3, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       Before we could go after medusa we had to clear out the cave in in the tunnel out, which would likely alert her that we were coming; but we had already long since lost the element of surprise with her. First Thecker made the cave in worse, and so it took a little longer than it should have to get everything cleared away. When we finally emerged from the tunnel, Vort's statue was gone... not good.

       We went to the chamber that Vort had told us the medusa was in, and it was not what I had expected. "The adornments in this chamber would be more at home in a drow city. Spider-themed tapestries, fine zurkhwood furniture, and racks of expensive clothing filled the area."* There were two wererat statues flanking the doorway to this chamber, along with two drider statues and Vort... that answered that question. "At the center of the chamber, a female drow sat upon a zurkhwood throne. She stood, eyes closed and arms crossed as if in meditation or prayer. The her white hair writhed, and I could see it is formed of pale, hissing snakes."* Her hair wasn't the only snake feature upon her, her cloak was made of snakes and she held a scourge with snakes on it. This was just fucking wonderful. Of course it was a drow medusa. She saw us and began gliding toward us, as the statues began to animate. Loyal Torm, this was going to be a difficult fight.

       Thecker attempted to use her judgement on the medusa, an ability Bahamut granted her that never works, and began turning to stone for her efforts. Medusa then sank into the ground and appeared right in front of me, but I resisted her attempt to stone me. Instead, the bitch's hair attacked me, and she followed up with her scourge. I swung back at her and missed. Oy, this was going to be difficult, especially since these stupid crystal goggles are obscuring my vision. The driders swarmed Sajin, and Vort attacked Mezzem- Turvy crumbled him, since nobody ever gets to hurt Mezzem. Topsy used something that freed Thecker from the stone that was beginning to harden on her flesh.

       I was locked in battle with the medusa, her serpents pursuing me as I frantically sliced back at them, Shoving her with my shield wasn't doing much, since those damned snakes kept hitting me as she moved. I saw a couple of arrows sink into the bitch's flesh- Tali had my back. As Thecker smashed one of the drow statues, the stairwell went dark, and I was hit with a flurry of bites from the fucking snakes. Mezzem heard in the darkness a healing prayer being whispered by the medusa. I activated my driftglobe to get rid of the stupid darkness- I wish Dawnbringer were here, she would have prevented the spell from even happening- and discovered medusa was gone. Dammit. Turvy cried out that he couldn't see... oops

       I felt a warm light wash over me as my flesh began to knit together- Mezzem was healing us. A drider and a drow surrounded Thecker and began hitting her pretty hard, so Topsy went after the drow. The other drider fell upon Sajin and started wailing on him. Medusa reappeared and I heard a voice telling me to remove my eye ware and look at her, but I was able to resist. Tali and Mezzem were also hit with them same compulsion, and Mezzem was the only one who removed her eye ware, but she didn't turn to stone. Angrily, medusa turned to Tali and fucked her up really badly- my friend was paralyzed, but seemed to break the hold right away. I hurled my javelin at the bitch, and I think it did some damage to her.

       The driders kept beating on Thecker, and there didn't seem to be any avenue for escape for her. Topsy finished off the final drow statue, and I felt a pain in my side- Turvy had accidentally stabbed me- he was still blind. Thecker opened fire on the the drider, taking a few chunks off of it. Medusa tried again to get Mezzem, Tali, and I to take off our eye ware and look at her- thankfully we were all able to shrug that command off. Enraged by her inability to control us, medusa lashed out at Tali, hurting her badly, before vanishing again. I charged the drider and sliced a good chunk of it off with my Flame Tongue. Tali restored Turvy's sight, and Mezzem cast something at the drider that didn't even touch it- as if it was immune to magic.

       Sajin went down from one of the driders as I dusted the one who had been focused on Thecker. Thecker turned and began shooting at the drider who was standing over the unconscious Sajin. Medusa appeared right behind Thecker, and I whirled on her, once again stabbing into her ancient flesh. Tali shot at medusa while Mezzem let out another burst of healing magic at us. The drider apparently really didn't like Sajin, and it kept pounding on him even though he was down. Medusa vanished again- that was getting really annoying.

       We all converged on the drider that was beating Sajin to a bloody pulp, since medusa was nowhere to be seen. A wererat statue animated and turned on Tali, as a spell came out of nowhere and badly injured Mezzem. The damned drider kept on Sajin, even though it was surrounded by the rest of us. Shit. A snake spat at Mezzem and she collapsed with a grunt of pain- the scales it touched turned blackened and looked burned; Tali rushed to her side and revived her. As Mezzem rose a burst of healing washed over all of us, but she was too late to help Sajin- he was dead and turning to stone. I heard the grinding of stone and saw that Turvy was also turning. Shit. Mezzem had already used the magical energy required to undo that fixing Sajin's stupid ribs.

       Medusa appeared out of nowhere, right next to Thecker, swiping at her, but missing. I instantly moved up to attack medusa, I was determined to keep her from hurting anymore of my friends. Tali and Mezzem kept working at the drider, while Thecker and I worked at the bitch. Medusa's snakes lashed out at me and missed, then the bitch stepped into the fucking wall, reappearing right in front of me and looking right into my eyes. I had removed the stupid crystal goggles because they were making it hard for me to hit anything, so I decided to just take the damn risk. A decision I was now regretting as I felt my body go rigid.

       Snakes lashed out at Mezzem and the priestess went down again... this wasn't going very well.  As I shook off the paralysis that would have stoned me, Tali rushed to Mezzem's side and revived her again. The drider turned to Thecker and I responded in turn with a slash of my own. Topsy slipped in and finished it off, all that remained was the damn medusa. Tali began turning to stone as medusa bent over the statue of Sajin and kissed him... what in the Nine Hells? Sajin then rose- fuck, now we're going to have to kill him.

       The snakes lashed out at Turvy, while Sajin started for Topsy. I felt myself turning to stone again, as Thecker stepped up to medusa's flank and attacked her- the bitch vanished again. Thecker suddenly crumbled to the ground- medusa must be hiding in the stone again. I shook off the stone again and Tali and I went for Formerly Sajin- since he was moving toward our unconscious Thecker and I had to protect her. Mezzem rushed the Thecker's aid, and discovered her healing abilities weren't working on Thecker- medusa may have done something beyond what Bahamut normally grants Mezzem for healing.

       Sajin's soul left his body, and as he soared away he could see his friends still fighting the medusa, as well as fighting the statue his body had become. 

       Sajin slashed at me, missing, and I made sure to keep myself between him and Thecker. I slashed at him and shoved him with my shield, hoping to just keep him at bay- but I accidentally smashed him instead. Oops? Behind me Thecker turned to stone too, I really hoped she didn't get animated. Mezzem swiped at medusa with her blade as the bitch pressed her lips to Thecker. As Formerly Thecker rose, Mezzem called upon the power of Bahamut and planted a kiss of her own on Thecker. She was still animated, but she wasn't under the medusa's control, and that's what mattered. I whirled around and cleaved medusa's head and part of her shoulder off. We had succeeded, but at a loss. I quickly scooped up her head and shoved it in a bag.

       Both twins and Thecker had been turned to stone, so Mezzem dropped at Turvy's feet- again- and passed out to regain the magical energy she'd used fixing stupid Sajin's ribs. The rest of us explored the chamber while she was out, and in the process Tali's arm turned gray and yucky. When Mezzem rose eight hours later to revive Turvy we had her heal Tali's arm too. She then went back to sleep to gain the energy to revived Topsy. During that eight hours, my arm got yucky like Tali's had, so after Mezzem fixed Topsy, we had her fix me.

***** Eleint 4

       Mezzem rose again to revive Thecker, who announced she was retiring once we were done here. Apparently spending almost an entire day as a gollem was the last straw for her. Since we were down a man, we decided it would be best for Mezzem to revive one of the other victims on display in the chamber. We were all very curious about this quasi-centaur guy, who had a magic cock ring and breasts with nipple rings. He looked like a cross between a shaggy pony and a halfling... fucking weird. Down Mezzem went again to get us one more man.

       When this guy was revived, he was exuberant little boy named Rosebud, who had been turned by the medusa over 100 years ago. We removed his fake breasts, but the nipple rings stayed behind in his actual nipples, when we tried to remove them they caused him too much pain. We knocked him out with a bottle of Gresyl wine to remove the cock ring and piercings, so that he could actually do something. Once Rosebud had been sorted out, he asked us to revive his Momma, a dragonborn statue that was also in the room. We didn't think we should wait any longer to take care of the Steadfast Stone, so we told him if he helped us, Mezzem would revive his Momma afterwards.

       We were right about not having much time, the ground began to rumble and a blue glow emanated from the temple. We had to get it cleansed now. Gurnik had told us there would be three guardians we had to defeat in order to cleanse it, I hoped that odd centaur would be useful to our cause. Muttering a quick prayer to Lord Fury, I raced into the temple with my friends.

       "The floor of this cavern is worn smooth, but the walls are rough. A great menhir carved from a stalagmite stands in the center of the chamber, pockmarked with dozens of empty sockets that might have once held gems."* Cracks were forming in the floor, and the glow seemed to be coming from those. Mezzem rushed to the altar and activated the ruby that would cleanse the site. Rosebud cried "for Momma!" and began a vicious assault on one of the cracks in the floor... "As the ruby began to glow against the menhir, the walls began to rumble. Part of one wall shifted, detached, and charged toward"* Mezzem.

       It was a madhouse, Thecker opened fire on it, Rosebud used his peculiar battle cry and charged it, I ran up to it and stabbed, and Tali's arrows dusted it. Another elemental appeared, and Mezzem summoned her spirit blade, which didn't seem to do anything to it- the elemental looked different, perhaps this was the one we just beat, only cleansed.

       The second guardian appeared and charged us, Rosebud and I took up positions on opposite sides of it. The other one was still not moving- I think my theory about it is right. Thecker began shooting the one who was fighting us, while Rosebud and I began hacking away at it. Turvy slipped in and landed the killing blow- another smaller elemental appeared near the altar.

       The final guardian appeared next to Tali, she slashed at it and missed, but it hit back, much harder. I ran at it and sliced with my Rod, and nothing happened. It hit Tali and I and went straight for the altar, likely intending to stop the hallow ritual. Thecker called on her abilities from Bahamut and judged the elemental- and it actually worked! While Tali and I made our way over to the group, the twins and Thecker ripped into the guardian, and finished it off before we got there.

       A white light poured from the altar as the cracks in the ground closed, and we could feel the insidious presence of Ogremoch's Bane being blown away. The temple now felt peaceful.

       We returned to the medusa's chamber so Mezzem could rest and revive Rosebud's Momma. Lily was a peculiar dragonborn, but I haven't spent much time around them, so he could be perfectly normal, and just strange to me because he's so different from my beloved. We invited them to join us, Rosebud had been very helpful, and Lily really just wanted more stories.

       When we arrived back at the gates, they opened right away, and there was an elemental nearby. We gave Sark the medusa's head, and he told us Gurnik had been looking for us. Gurnik thanked us for banishing Ogremoch's Bane, and handed each of us a diamond to hold to our foreheads. He chanted a prayer and we were all blessed by Smoothhands. Sajin was offered the chance to return to life, but instead decided to have the twins and Thecker officially recognized as members of the Silvertongue family, giving them noble rank.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Twenty-Two

Blingdenstone, the City of Speaking Stones Part 3:

Rockblight District, Ogremoch's Bane

Dramatis Personae:

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin who can't sneak
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion

Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim who compulsively keeps everything she finds- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Stool, the Myconid Child- unwilling dance partner to drunk stone giant

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny

Quests in Blingdenstone:
Discover where the ooze infestation is coming from
Parley with, or exterminate, the Goldwhiskers
Harvest samples of elementals corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane and return them to Nomi
Try to banish Ogremoch's Bane

Cleanse the Steadfast Stone, a temple that has been corrupted by Ogremoch's Bane

Kill medusa and bring Sark her head
tell Yanthal Coaxrock the location of Entemoch's Boon  told Nomi since Yanthal was absent
destroy Vazuk they took him out right away
recover Udhask's remains  gathered his remains, still need to lay Udhask to rest in the catacombs

Friendly fire overall: 134

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Eleint 2, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       We entered a cavern that was filled with crystals, it was a little unnerving since last time we were in a cavern like this was when we fought that beholder. "Light from bioluminescent fungi refracted through large crystal formations erupting from the floor, creating a kalidescope of colors on the surrounding walls. The crystals were semitransparent, slightly distorting images through them."* There was a tunnel going up, another going down, and two sets of stairs in this cavern, and we had no idea which way we needed to go. Mezzem pointed out a statue, but before any of us could do anything, she let off a blast of radiant energy, which highlighted a spider that was coming toward us from above- no, there were spiders. Ugh.

       Tali shot a spider with her snake bow, the snake not only constricted the spider, but it swallowed it too. I shot at one, but instead of killing it, the damned thing landed on me and bit. Apparently that sounded like a good idea to its buddy who fucking landed next to it. Thecker turned one of the spiders on me to ice with her new gun, and Sajin dropped the final one. Tali's snake landed on top of her with a thud, I guess that's what happens when you shoot a snake straight into the air.

       Thecker decided to climb up to see where the spiders had come from, with Sajin on her heels. Once up there, the batshit gunslinger decided to set the webs she was on on fire so she could see better to investigate... Needless to say, both of the svirfneblin tumbled to the ground, and some calcified webs followed, landing on both of them and me. Sometimes I really want to smack Thecker.

       While Thecker was setting webs on fire, Mezzem decided to check out the statue she had noticed before the spiders attacked. It was a deep gnome, crouched as if trying to hide, with a crystal part way up to his eyes- a medusa victim. She revived him, and we learned he was called Vort, a scout from the Digger's Guild. He told us there was a medusa up the stairs, and that there was only one. He was prepared to head back to the gates, but Thecker convinced him to stay with us.

       With Vort's help, we got crystals cut up to attempt to cover our eyes, hoping it would help us not get stoned when we faced medusa. As we were finishing that up, we heard some sounds coming from the other tunnel- the one that went down. We attempted to hide as a group of odd looking dust and mud mephits approached- of course they saw us anyways. They looked crazed, and demanded treasure from us- we were being robbed by fucking mephits...

       One of the mephits came at Thecker, so she shot it- it exploded in a cloud of dust that hit Sajin in the face, sending him into a coughing fit. Tali shot one that began moving toward Mezzem, and killed it before it reached her. Thecker and I exploded one each, while Tali continued killing ones near Mezzem. I managed to cleave through the last two of them. They went down quickly, but it was still sad we had to kill the little guys.

       Sajin decided to go down the tunnel the mephits had come from alone, with us a ways behind him. After a moment he called to us that it was a room of statues, there were at least 30 in there, and all seemed to be drow. Before we could move up to investigate the room, Sajin grunted in pain and surprise- something had shot him. The assassin was shot once more and knocked unconscious. I came running in and smashed a statue- another one animated and hit me in return. Great, we had living statues or something to contend with. The statues began to surround me.

       Thecker came up behind me and shot one of them. Turvy came in next and smashed one, while I cleaved my blade through one into the one next to it. Topsy came in and knocked a chunk out of one of them, and it whirled on her. Mezzem revived Sajin. Turvy dropped another one, but they were still converging on me. I slammed my shield into one, not knowing Sajin was behind it, and the statue was knocked into him- at least it crumbled. I did apologize since I didn't see him there, but then Sajin started making his douchey comments about me being a surfacer, so I decided I wasn't sorry. Ass.

       By this point the ones surrounding me were mostly taken care of, but now Thecker was being surrounded by another section of them- I ran over to help my friend. Tali shifted into her tiger form and bit the head off one of them- that had to have tasted disgusting. We realized they didn't animate until we either hit them, or got close to them, so we began methodically taking them out one by one. Thecker, Tali, and I branched off into one team while the twins and Sajin formed another, putting three of us on each statue. Mezzem floated, keeping our asses alive. By the end we were all in pretty bad shape, and had all dropped at least once. It felt like this went on for hours, though in reality it was only a couple of minutes.

       As I killed the last statue, "a cloud of dust erupted from its shattered remains and expanded to fill the cave,"* The cloud felt angry, malevolent... not good. Mezzem said the elemental gem she had collected earlier was warm and pulsing angrily. We fucking ran, but the damned cloud was outside the room too- it was huge. It sounded like Vort was in trouble out there- we really should have let him leave. The pillars began shaking and boulders were rolling off of them- elementals leaving their posts.

       The cloud began chasing us, so we ran to the gates. Sajin got the brilliant idea to use his boots to slam himself into the gate so he could make a loud enough noise to alert the guard and get the door open. He knocked himself out and badly broke several of his ribs. Idiot. Thecker attempted to scare the cloud, but nothing happened. As it pursued us, it had three boulders following it- elementals instructed to kill us probably.

       Out of options, and trapped like wererats, Thecker charged one of them, shooting at it. The boulder rolled right into the gunslinger, giving her a concussion. I charged one and hit it with my Rod, then it grabbed the Rod- which was chained to my wrist- and swung me into Tali. The third boulder slammed into Sajin. Turvy managed to kill the one that had slammed Thecker, and Thecker shot the arm off the one holding me- the momentum from that caused me to fly into the gates. It hurt like the Hells, and I felt sick from the spinning, but I was alive. Sajin finished off the last boulder.

       The cloud was still there, and we still felt its anger; little wispy tendrils began coming out of it, as if it was searching for something, probably more elementals. Mezzem tried to dispel the cloud, but that did nothing to it- it was a creature, not a spell. We ran back to the waterfall, hoping we could take a quick rest to rejuvenate ourselves. About 20 minutes in a really shiny xorn appeared next to us- the same one we'd fed earlier this tenday. It grabbed me and everything went black. Once the xorn had Claire unconscious, it started trying to eat her. Mezzem hurried to stabilize Claire while it turned to knock out Tali. Sajin stepped up and killed it, and even got some of the money he'd fed it back.

       Once we had finished resting Mezzem attempted to banish the cloud, but it resisted her. Thecker used prayer and a blood sacrifice to help Mezzem get one more shot at it, and it again resisted Mezzem. We remembered the stupid bag I had that nothing ever came out of and decided we would try to put the cloud in the gem we had found Tali in. This would release the bunny, but we would all rather fight that than the cloud. The dust swirled toward the gem, and after a moment it seemed our plan had worked- though the bunny was on top of my bag, instead of inside it. In a breath, the bunny had been pulled into the bag, and we could see the cloud swirling around in the gem. I told Thecker to put the gem in the bag too, get rid of the damned thing; I hurriedly tied the bag shut once it was in, hoping the gem and bunny would vanish.

       After a few seconds had passed we looked inside the bag. The bunny was gone, but the gem had stayed behind. We came up with a plan for if the gem didn't vanish. Thecker had gotten this little dimensional pocket from Kara, and we were going to put the pocket open, under the bag, and if the gem didn't go away we'd drop the bag into the pocket. We set everything up over the water pool, and after nearly an hour we were ready. The bag dropped into the pocket, and though we saw the cloud try to escape- it failed. We had defeated Ogremoch's Bane.

       We decided to barricade ourselves in the chamber we had just cleared out, and Sajin started whining that he just wanted to go home instead of resting here and finishing up our tasks. Ignoring him, we went to look for Vort, and found him stone again. Mezzem could fix him tomorrow. In the tunnel leading into the statue room we rigged up a trap that partially collapsed the tunnel. Well, it was supposed to only partially collapse it, but Turvy misunderstood Thecker's directions, and used three 10 pound bags of gunpowder. Thankfully Thecker was able to stop it with an ice bullet before Turvy blew himself up.

       In the middle of the night, an elemental went strolling through the room we were in, and it didn't look or act corrupted. We heard some hissing outside, which was probably that damn medusa trying to get in.

***** Eleint 3

       Before we left our hideout chamber, Mezzem fixed Sajin's ribs so he'd shut up. In doing so, she expended the energy needed to reverse something more serious, like one of us turning to stone while fighting the medusa, but Sajin gets bitchy when he doesn't get fixed right away. I told her to just let the asshole learn his lesson, but she was feeling nice I guess- or wanted him in decent shape for our next task. It was time to face medusa.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.