Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Seventeen

Crossing Chasms

Dramatis Personae:

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights and wielder of Dawnbringer who is the only thing she trusts, and who compulsively collects trophies from slain foes
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Champion from the Zhentarim who compulsively keeps everything she finds
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Assassin who can't sneak

Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins; Turvy cannot resist ingesting any drugs or alcohol that cross his path

Stool, the Myconid Child

Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube and a great warrior
Rumpadump, the Myconid Child

The residents of Bahamutsville: 94 kobolds with party

Kibbik, the Kobold Paladin of Bahamut and leader of the kobolds

Sillis, the Kobold Bard

Vevvev, the Kobold Gunslinger

Cyrryc, the Kobold Gunslinger

Renner, the Kobold Rogue

Xiccix, the Kobold Weapon Master

Mezzem, the Kobold Priestess of Bahamut

Gabtar, the Goblin Inquisitor and Kibbik's squire

The residents of the Wicked Garden:
Princess Annarei, the Succubus Disciple of Graz'zt
Zeks and Edsel, the Duergar Crawler Commandos
Suortin, the Umber Hulk and Annarei's bodyguard
Giggles, the Ogre

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor who thinks he's a myconid and everyone is out to get him, and thinks like a kobold- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget

Friendly fire overall: 91

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Flamerule 15, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       As we prepared to leave Annarei's garden, she invited us to stay, saying that whoever wanted to was welcome. About sixty of the kobolds wanted to stay; they were tired of traveling, had lost their homes, and were just all around miserable. We convinced all but twelve of them to come with us, which was much better than trying to explain to Kibbik that almost the entirety of his people had stayed in the garden.

       Annarei was true to her word, and she filled our packs with provisions, along with an interesting parting gift. The princess gave each of us a little bottle with a little faerzress crystal with runes on it inside, suspended in Gresyl wine. She told us that should we ever want to return to her garden, all we had to do was break the bottle and we'd be instantly teleported there. If we drank the wine the teleport wouldn't work properly, and we could end up anywhere. Topsy hit her brother upside the head as he began to remove the cork, and took the bottle from his hands. Keeping wine from him was going to be interesting.

       "While traveling a few miles away from Annarei's Garden, in a rough tunnel, about 10 feet wide and 20 or so feet tall, something suddenly appeared above us. A stern looking duergar, in typically austere scale mail, astride a now visible carrion crawler looking down upon us in a manner that convinced me that looking down upon others is commonplace for him.

       “'You – Surfacers! Two of our men abandoned their duties and stole their crawlers. The traitorous Sieppih (he spits at the ground at that insult) are Deserters and thieves that will be brought to justice. They were recently spotted in this vicinity. What can you tell us about them? Before you speak, it is my duty to remind you that lying to agents of the Deepking is a crime. Criminals face swift and unwavering justice.'”* While that one spoke to us, two more moved up to flank us.

      I assumed he was talking about Zeks and Edsel, and Thecker spoke up first, telling them that we saw them a while back, but didn't give really any direction other than back through the tunnel we were in. They gave us a couple platinum, and offered more if we went back and got them for us, but we didn't want to turn back, especially with so many kobolds in tow. Fortunately they were satisfied enough with the information Thecker gave them, so they let us pass.

       That night, during Thecker's watch, she heard some noises coming from the tunnels. As the svirfneblin approached, Kibbik emerged, with his group in tow. He told Thecker that he had found a cavern that would work as a home for the kobolds until they were able to recuperate and retake Bahamutsville from the drow. They would part ways during travel the next morning.

***** Flamerule 16

       As we prepared to leave this morning, Kibbik told us that the way to the kobolds new home was in a different direction than we were headed, so we would be parting right away. Mezzem felt that she needed to stay with us, as if Bahamut was giving her a holy quest by following us. Kibbik told her he'd leave signs for her to get to their new home when she was ready to return. Glabbagool decided to go with the kobolds, since he was now a devoted follower of Bahamut. Plus, the hatchlings were in Orvald's barrel, and he needed to carry them; I hope we meet again one day, that cube really grew on me.

       Before leaving, Kibbik handed me Dawnbringer's hilt, which made no sense since she was attached to my belt. As I sat puzzled by this, Kara and Mezzem suggested I put the two hilts together, and the swords merged. Somehow Dawnbringer had developed the ability to slip herself in two... weird. Kibbik thanked me for allowing him to use her, apparently she came in handy for whatever he had to deal with; I never gave her to him, this was all so bizarre.

       Of the 115 kobolds who departed Bahamutsville with the party, only 82 of them were reaching their new home. Though 12 weren't lost, they had chosen to stay with Princess Annarei. 

       About an hour after we parted with the kobolds, Stool and Rumpadump began turning blackish and looked sickly. Apparently sunlight can kill myconids, so I had to turn her blade off to protect the children. Dawnbringer wasn't happy about being off, but she understood that we needed to protect the innocents.

***** Flamerule 19

       Halfway through the day the twins reported a sizable chasm with a rope bridge coming up. We decided to send Kara across the chasm to tie off some of our rope on the other side, in hopes it would help secure the rickety looking bridge. Thecker began securing it from our side, and after a moment Kara came back, apparently the champion isn't good at tying rope; she flew back across with Thecker to have the gnome fix it.

       Thecker stayed on the other side, while Kara flew back to get Stool and Rumpadump- she'd have to carry them separately, but we couldn't have the children trying to cross this bridge. Once Kara took flight again, with Rumpadump, Sajin was sent across- he was our tester to make sure the bridge was secure. Mezzem and the twins followed after they saw Sajin cross safely while I stayed back with Stool, I couldn't leave the child undefended.

       All of a sudden the stalactites fell from the ceiling, hitting Kara and knocking her out of the air; Mezzem and Topsy were also struck and both fell from the bridge. Another had seemed to be aiming at Turvy, but it missed and continued to the bottom of the chasm. Piercers were attacking- I'd heard of them, they're like the mimics of rocks. Topsy was quick enough to catch herself before she went completely down, and was about to get back onto the bridge, and she slashed at the piercer, seeming to kill it. Turvy didn't seem to notice that the piercer appeared dead after Topsy's attack, and slashed at it- hitting his twin instead- Topsy collapsed.

       Kara slammed her blades into the piercer that was on her, shattering it, but another one aimed for the champion before she could get back in the air. Mezzem killed that one, just as another landed on Kara; these things really didn't seem to like my friend much. As that one collided with the half-valkyrie, the stalagmite beside her came to life- a roper, the adult version of the piercer. Tentacles lashed out of it, grappling Kara, Rumpadump, and Sajin, and began dragging them toward it.

       Another roper awoke next to the twins and Mezzem, grabbing all three of them. Of course the twins were out instantly, and Mezzem wriggled free- only to get grappled again by it. Topsy quickly slashed through the roper, killing it and freeing Mezzem.

       Across the bridge two piercers landed on Thecker, and she quickly shot and killed one of them. I saw one of them drop straight onto Sajin, it kind of looked like it was suiciding with hopes to take him with it; it died the moment it struck the assassin, and Sajin began hemorrhaging. I saw Mezzem cast something at Sajin, and he was back on his feet, though bleeding profusely. The twins finished off the final roper, and Thecker killed the remaining piercer. Everything went quiet after that and we were able to safely finish crossing this damned chasm.

***** Flamerule 23

       About halfway through our travels today we came upon a small stream that appeared to be on our map to Blingdenstone. If it was the stream on the map, it was at the very edge of it, but that was better than our blind travels; I hoped we were finally on track, the sooner we got to Blingdenstone, the sooner I could find a way to get to the surface and home. I am so very tired of the Underdark, and I'm old, and I lost my beloved Kazul. This place has not been kind to me.

       We spent some time fishing after we crossed the stream, but it was far too early in the day for us to stop for the night, so eventually we continued on.

       During fourth watch that night, Kara's watch, an ochre jelly dropped from the ceiling onto the champion. She rose up and stabbed it, which split it into two jellies... she didn't know not to use a slashing weapon on them, that only gives you more foes. Before Kara could raise any alarm, another jelly dropped on Thecker, and a third landed on Sajin. Turvy and Mezzem were woken by the noise, and rose to defend their camp. Mezzem killed one of the jellies instantly. 

       Dawnbringer's voice cut into my dreams, telling me that the camp was under attack. I rose, illuminated my blade, and killed one of the two jellies I saw on Kara. I scanned the cavern and saw the twins kill one each. Kara swung her sword at the other jelly on her, and cut it in half... what in the Nine Hells was she doing? You never use a blade like that on a jelly. I turned and struck one so hard with Dawnbringer that it seemed to evaporate. Thecker shot one, killing it quickly,

       Kara is apparently a complete idiot when it comes to jellies,and she stabbed two of them, turning them into four... I swept through with Dawnbringer and killed three of them, Mezzem took out the fourth. That seemed to be the last of them, and after explaining to Kara that she was being an idiot, I went back to sleep.

***** Flamerule 28

       A couple of hours into our travels today we entered a cavern that seemed to be nothing but crystals. Some of them were faerzress, but for the most part they were just normal crystals; the cavern was beautiful, glimmering in the light glow of the faerzress, it was positively enchanting to look at. As we moved, we saw a deep, blood red color blossom in the middle of one of the clear crystals, spreading throughout the stone until it was completely red; Sajin apparently is incapable of walking and looking at crystals, while we watched the crystal blossom to crimson, he slipped and fell on his ass. It was hilarious.

       It turned out that there was a patch of a viscous, slippery liquid on the ground, which is what the jackass had slipped in. We looked around and saw a few more patches of the liquid around. Thanks to Sajin we knew to look for and avoid them.

       I began to feel like I was being watched, and the others also began voicing similar feelings. This place quickly went from charming to sinister, but I suppose that's the way everything is in the damned Underdark. We saw something glinting on top of one of the crystals and decided to investigate- perhaps it was the cause of the ooze Sajin had bruised his ass on. There was a little pedestal with a small rodent atop it that looked like a geode- it was partially petrified stone and partially crystal. Fucking weird, and disturbingly lifelike. Thecker swapped the rodent for a small bag of ball bearings, in case it was a pressure plate; as soon as she did the pedestal was covered in that odd viscous liquid, and the crystal blossomed into a shade of purple.

       We spent another hour moving through this cavern before we reached another huge chasm, though this one lacked a bridge, and in the center hung a huge crystal stalactite. Thecker decided to gauge how deep this chasm went, since it was hard to tell from visual with everything glowing in the faerzress. She dropped a coin down the ravine, and it took about a minute for us to hear the tinkling of the coin hitting the crystal.

       Mezzem had been looking at the giant stalactite while we waited for the coin to drop, and told us she thought there was something wedged in the bottom of it. Once she pointed it out, Sajin looked more closely, and said he thought it was chests or boxes of some kind. Kara volunteered to fly over and check it out, and came back a couple minutes later saying she had found an opening that she could fit through. She took Turvy with her to go check it out, since he was decent at spotting traps and easy enough to carry.

       While they investigated the stalactite, the rest of us brainstormed how to get over the damned bridge. We ended up making a bridge of sorts from our large rope ladder and some fishing nets.

       Turvy and Kara entered a 20 foot hexagonal room of crystal, which made it confusing for Turvy to look for traps, there were far too many reflections. As they entered the chamber an ochre colored beam shot at Kara, and she felt her muscles seize up for a moment before releasing. A yellow beam hit her and she felt herself slow down, at which point Turvy suggested they run. The pair made it for the exit and managed not to run into any walls on the way out. 

       Turvy and Kara emerged from the stalactite and said that it was full of traps. We decided to get everyone across the chasm and then head up there to see what was there. Everyone except me made it across the stupid chasm easily- I almost fell. It has been a long time since I had to go over crap like this, I haven't done it since training over a decade ago. Once we were across the chasm Kara undid our makeshift bridge and attached it to the entrance to the stalactite. We left the children with the lizards, and everyone began slowly making their way up the ladder. I almost fell again, twice. I hate these fucking things.

       We saw a dark figure in the crystals, but we couldn't quite make out what it was. As we moved into the chamber a mauve beam struck Thecker, and she cried out in pain. A black beam went streaking past me, and an ochre one barely missed Kara. I saw a pink ray hit Sajin, but nothing seemed to happen to him right away; the svirfneblin was now charmed by their unseen foe. There were too many reflections for us to figure out where the damned thing was, but it certainly seemed to be a beholder- fuck.

       A blue beam grazed me and I felt sleepy for a moment, but shrugged it off. I saw Sajin stab Mezzem, hurting her badly- the priestess was stabbed so hard that she was left with a faint scar over her kidney. The twins and I surrounded Sajin, and between the three of us he went down, then I fumbled and dropped poor Dawnbringer- she was still activated, but seemed to be somewhere below me. Kara took flight and stabbed at the beholder, but something seemed to be deflecting her attacks.

       The beholder called to us, saying we had entered "Seymour's Lair," and would be added to "Seymour's Collection." Great, a fucking beholder who collects people and refers to himself in the third person. This was fucking wonderful. A gray beam shot out at Mezzem, but thankfully it missed her, while Thecker was hit with a blue ray and a pink one, though they didn't seem to do anything to her. I hurled my javelin at it and followed up with a crossbow bolt, Seymour cried out in pain and shot a gray beam at me, which missed. Kara began hacking at its eye stalks while it launched pink rays and Mezzem and I- both of which missed.

       Clear, slimy tentacles shot out, trying to grasp Thecker, Mezzem, and I- I was the only one it managed to grab. Before it could do more than grab me though, Kara jabbed her spear into it, and it died; in the moment before death, a black beam shot out, missed Kara, ricocheted off the crystal and flew at Mezzem, but she got out of the way.

       We inspected its corpse and realized that Seymour must have been ancient, there was cataracts in its main eye, and its flesh was cracked. We also found a mithril monocle on its main eye, which explained why it was deflecting Kara's attacks. I claimed one of its eye stalks and a tooth as trophies, those were fucking cool and would make a wonderful story in the barracks back home. If I ever get home. Thecker found a hole in the floor, seemingly the hole Dawnbringer went through, and we went down to inspect it.

       Inside this hole was a chamber filled with crystal statues- Seymour's collection. Thecker looked around some more, and found another hole hiding under the statue of an ogre. Sajin had apparently been woken up, and he of course had to follow us in case there was something for him to sink his greedy claws into- the jackass fell on his ass when he landed. It was great. The twins joined us, and together we went down to the next level- and Sajin fell on his ass again.

       In this room were three large chests made from a thick, opaque, blue crystal, and none of them appeared to be locked. We called Mezzem and Kara down to join us. Thecker opened the chest in the center, and a tongue lashed out, grabbing her and pulling her inside. A damned mimic. Sajin tried and failed to stab the mimic, Mezzem cast a bolt of radiant energy at it and was suddenly completely naked, a leather backpack appeared at her feet- everything she had on her was in there... From inside the mimic, Thecker was able to paralyze it, keeping it from swallowing her. I stabbed it with Dawnbringer and it shuddered, dying from her radiant light.

       We freed Thecker, and Sajin decided to poke around its stomach. and found two inside out bags in it, Kara righted one of them and fell in- the other didn't do anythign when we righted it; they both looked like bags of holding, I guess the one Kara grabbed was just a really big one or something. It was a bag of devouring, but none of the party had encountered or heard of one before.

       Mezzem went to bring up the children and the lizards, and we all began sorting through the treasures. Eventually Kara, Mezzem, and I went up to sleep, while our svirfneblin comrades stayed up all night sorting money that they would keep for themselves alone.

***** Flamerule 29

       Kara, Mezzem, and I went back to continue sorting money when we got up that morning, and the others went up to get some rest. As we began packing up our money, loading it onto our lizards, we got the feeling we were being watched. I've experienced this sensation far too many times since coming to the damned Underdark.

       On the main floor, Thecker looked at Seymour's corpse and realized it was just deflated flesh- the bones were gone. As she looked around the room, spectral eyes winked into existence, as the skull hovered. Thecker opened fire. 

       We were nearly done packing up when we heard shots fired up above. I jumped on my lizard, Clover, and began climbing back up to the top; Stool and Rumpadump had been down there with us, so we left them in that chamber, it was safer for them.

       Sajin had been in the level above this one, along with the twins, and he climbed down to see what Thecker was shooting at. A blue beam hit him square in the chest and he passed out. Thecker was struck with a yellow beam and she felt herself slow. She moved to Sajin and pistol whipped him to wake him up; he was awake, but grappled by its tentacles and stuck to the ceiling. A black beam barely missed Thecker, as Sajin struggled to shoot Seymour whilst grappled; he lost his bow...

       Kara flew past me, she cursed as she entered the chamber, and I saw her draw her bow. An ochre beam went whizzing past Kara, and a gray one missed Thecker. Sajin was hit with a pink beam again... the tentacles released him and he climbed down the wall, ready to attack his party again. One by one the eyes winked out briefly, and a large spectral eye appeared in the middle of the room. Sajin snuck up behind Mezzem and stabbed her again. 

       Brown, gray, and blue beams streaked past Kara, the half-valkyrie was lucky. She turned and stabbed Sajin. Topsy came up behind Sajin and stabbed him in the ass, with her blade coated in drow sleep poison, and her blood to infect him as a wererat. He passed out, but she stabbed him once more for good measure. Spectral appendages burst out of the walls, attempting to grab the party- they only grabbed the unconscious and bleeding Sajin. 

       I was greeted to a very strange scene when I finally made it off Clover and into the chamber. There was a spectral tentacle whipping Sajin around, and a huge eye in the middle of the room. What in the Nine Hells was going on now? I cursed and threw my javelin at the undead Seymour, but it only grazed him this time. The tentacle dropped Sajin and I saw Thecker bend over him to stabilize him- at least I'm assuming that's what she was doing, she could have been finishing him off for all I knew.

       Four beams went right for Mezzem, a reddish orange one, a gray one, a yellow one, and a mauve one- thankfully the only one that struck true was the yellow one, which we knew only slowed you down. Kara flew up to the tyrant and stabbed it; Seymour retaliated by shooting a black beam at Mezzem, and she cried out in pain. I saw her mutter her healing prayer, but nothing was happening; I put myself between her and it. She called forth her spirit sword and had it attack the beast in her stead. An ochre beam hit Mezzem, and she was paralyzed, but I had only to touch her with Dawnbringer to negate that.

       Another black beam went at Mezzem, but she dodged it- it then bounced off the crystals and headed straight at me, thankfully I was able to get out of its way. The mauve beam dropped Mezzem, and I was hit with an ochre, but I resisted. A mauve beam hit me as Seymour exploded- pain coursed through my body as I watched the tyrant meet his end.

       I gathered up the remains of Seymour and decided we needed to burn them, to keep that ass from coming back. We decided that after such an exhausting battle we needed to spend one more night in Seymour's lair before continuing our journey.

***** Midsummer

       The day after leaving the beholder's lair, about half of the money we'd taken turned to useless stones- that was fun to sort. Mezzem had gotten a pair of rings that allowed for telepathic communication and decided to give one to Kara. They were madly in love for a few hours, before Mezzem cast a curse removal spell on Kara, removing the ring and ending their love affair. For some reason Mezzem left her ring on, which we knew would lead to something amusing in the future.
   

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast.
The Wicked Garden is from Journey Through the Center of the Underdark by Tony Petrecca, and can be found on the DM's Guild. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from there.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Sixteen

The Wicked Garden

Dramatis Personae:

Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights and wielder of Dawnbringer, who compulsively collects trophies from slain foes and has an imaginary version of Dawnbringer that only she can see and it's the only thing she can trust
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Champion from the Zhentarim who compulsively keeps everything she finds
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Assassin who can't sneak

Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins; Turvy cannot resist ingesting any drugs or alcohol that cross his path

Stool, the Myconid Child

Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube and a great warrior
Rumpadump, the Myconid Child

The residents of Bahamutsville: 97 kobolds with party

Kibbik, the Kobold Paladin of Bahamut and leader of the kobolds

Sillis, the Kobold Bard

Vevvev, the Kobold Gunslinger

Cyrryc, the Kobold Gunslinger

Renner, the Kobold Rogue

Xiccix, the Kobold Weapon Master

Mezzem, the Kobold Priestess of Bahamut

Gabtar, the Goblin Inquisitor and Kibbik's squire

The residents of the Wicked Garden:
Princess Annarei, the Succubus Disciple of Graz'zt
Zeks and Edsel, the Duergar Crawler Commandos
Suortin, the Umber Hulk and Annarei's bodyguard
Giggles, the Ogre

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor who thinks he's a myconid and everyone is out to get him, and thinks like a kobold- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget

Friendly fire overall: 84

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Flamerule 8, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       After the fight with the mummy, we climbed out of the pyramid and went to see what was on the other side. The path on that side wasn't nearly as well traveled as the one we were on, which was odd since it was all one direct line. On the body of one of the drow we found a tattered parchment that looked blank, I thought the ink might be invisible. We collected the drow's pack lizards, and once we had finished looting their bodies, we met with the kobolds to begin getting around the fucking pyramid.

       All of our food was rotten, and the water gone. We had two choices: go back to the mushroom cavern, and lose half a day's travel, or press on and hope we could forage. We chose the latter, and couldn't find a scrap of food for the rest of the day. Mezzem told us Bahamut had given her a spell that would let her create food, and another that could fix our food stores, but she needed to rest in order to use either of them. Everyone went to sleep hungry that night.

***** Flamerule 9

       The next morning Kara showed Mezzem her arm where the mummy had touched her, it was disgusting and looked like the flesh was rotting off. We all spent some time trying to figure out what the hell it was, since Mezzem's healing spells weren't fixing it. Eventually she was at a loss, and decided to use a spell that ends curses- that one worked.

       Mezzem spent the rest of her magical energy fixing our food supplies, and creating new food, deciding that she would do that, then rest again before we continued travel. Since travel was completely uneventful, Mezzem was able to expend her energies when we reached camp that night doing the same thing. We did that again the next day.

***** Flamerule 11

       As we traveled that day, we came into a cavern with "fist sized, oblong crystals protruding from the walls, lit from within by some unknown force, providing a brightly lit lane to travel upon."* Unfortunately it was a single-file tunnel, and we could barely fit Glabbagool in it, so we broke up and put ourselves spread out in between the kobolds. "As we moved along the passage I saw sudden
movement above us– [as] tentacles drop from above, striking at the crystal formations in the walls."* The faerzress exploded, blinding me- Sajin and Kibbik were also blinded- and I heard cries of surprise from around me.

       Tentacles emerged from the ceiling and grabbed at Thecker- she shot them, but they still grabbed her easily. Another set of tentacles grabbed Mezzem; six grell were attacking the group. The grell holding Thecker began pulling her toward the ceiling, and the gunslinger shot it with one of her sleep bullets, it went out and both of them crashed to the floor below. 

       Mezzem used her inflict wounds spell, the one that had saved her from being a meal for two different behir, but this time it wasn't enough to kill her captor. Its beak slashed towards her, and she twisted in its grasp to evade- she didn't get bitten, but it pulled her fully into its hole in the ceiling. 

       I could hear commotion around me, so I closed my eyes and willed Dawnbringer to cure my blindness; Claire believed her imaginary sword cured her, when really she overcame the blindness through her own force of will. At the mouth of the tunnel, Sajin overcame his blindness and killed the grell in front of him- it exploded, and some of its innards splashed in Sajin's eyes- blinding him again.

       Mezzem was flown higher up the dark passage, and it began biting her again. She blew up the grell that was holding her, and attempted to open her wings to slow her descent- the passage was too narrow. The kobold braced herself for the fall, just as another grell grasped her. The grell's venom paralyzed Mezzem as it began trying to make a meal of her.

       I threw my javelin at the grell I could see vanishing into the ceiling above me, I think it hit, since it didn't clatter to the ground in front of me. I then threw my grapple up the hole, and it sunk into something, but I couldn't pull it back down; I asked some of the kobolds around me to help pull, but even that didn't do anything. At that point, I suspected I'd hit the stone instead of the beast, and began climbing the rope with Thecker hot on my tail.

       When I reached the top of my rope, I realized we needed another grapple to finishing getting up the shaft- Thecker used her grapple to get us the rest of the way. Below us, Kara began climbing the rope; the shaft was way too narrow for her to fly up.

       Sajin had finally regained some of his sight, and began heading towards the rope. Thecker reached the top of the shaft, which opened into a chamber- their lair. The grell were ripping into a kobold- thankfully, not Mezzem. Mezzem overcame the paralysis, and healed herself before joining the attack on the grell; another grell scooped her up before she could do anything.

       The moment I reached the top of that shaft a grell appeared in front of me, and I proudly cleaved through it with Dawnbringer. Another grabbed me, but I broke free instantly. Thecker knocked one out with her sleeping bullets, killed the grell trying to grab me, and knocked out the one holding Mezzem. That girl is insane with her bullets. I retrieved my javelin and hurled it through two of the grell, killing one of them. Sajin reached the top of the ropes and barely touched the final grell- so he spends the entire fight useless, then shows up at the end and doesn't even hurt the beast- wow, he's bloody useful. A shot rang out as Thecker killed the final grell.

       We looked around the room and discovered an ornate ring, which Sajin demanded as his- even though he did nothing for the entire bloody battle. So greedy, useless, and cowardly. Hope we reach Blingdenstone soon, I do not trust him or want him watching my back in a fight, he's as likely to run away as he is to actually engage in the combat. Then Sajin demanded that Kara fly him down, and got huffy when she told him she couldn't unfurl her wings in the corridor. The idiot fell when he tried to climb back down- if he's so bad at climbing, I don't see why he bothered coming up in the first place, except of course because he wanted to claim things that he didn't earn.

       Three more kobolds were lost in this battle.

       At camp that night, Sajin attuned to the ring we'd found, and instantly turned into a fish... It was hilarious watching him flop around on the ground- perhaps he'll learn a lesson in his greed, but I doubt that. Thecker grabbed him and he transformed back into himself, then bitched that the ring wasn't as useful as he wanted; sucks to be him.

***** Flamerule 12

       We came to a split in the tunnel, after a couple hours of travel and split up, with Kibbik's group going down one branch, and ours going down another- Mezzem stayed with us. We found nothing up ahead, but Kibbik's group came across something that he needed to deal with; his group would handle that then meet up with us in a couple of days.

       Kibbik asked for a better weapon, but Kara refused to give him one for some reason. She got really possessive of her blades. The twins then asked me to give Kibbik Dawnbringer, which of course I refused. The twins stole the real Dawnbringer from Claire while she wasn't looking. 

***** Flamerule 13

       We spent the day "moving through an interconnected series of rocky and crystalline tunnels. Quartz, calcite, and gypsum deposits are frequent in the walls, which sparkle in even the faintest light. These interconnecting tunnels intersect each other once in a while – rarely doing so from the same horizontal plane. While traversing a long, tall, wide tunnel, we noticed a large vertical shaft above – and hear a strange clattering sound.

       "Looking up a red glow can be seen from the tunnel shave above, glimmering and shimmering reflected light on the crystalline deposits in the walls. The glow is moving – getting closer. In a moment, something – no, many somethings- emerge from an intersecting shaft of that chimney. A dozen or more multi legged, black, foot wide beetles with glowing red bellies come swarming down from above. Yet that isn't the most bizarre thing I saw. Trailing behind the beetles are two Grey Dwarves mounted on large, tentacled, multi segmented, multi legged worms."*

       One of the duergar pulled up on his reigns while moving above us, and as he herded the beetles down the tunnel, he called to us "'If you need a bite, follow us. Princess Annarei's table is up ahead and to the left. Food aplenty!'"* We decided to follow, since food was scarce when you had near 100 kobolds in tow.

       "The narrow tunnel, six foot in diameter, is strangely round, with glimmering crystal flecks in its walls. A shimmering glow illuminates the tunnel from its end, 100 yards or so ahead. The further along we moved, the brighter and more colorful the glow gets. Red, blue, purple swirls of light are at the end of the tunnel.

       "The massive gallery beyond is an amazing spectacle to behold. The herded fire beetles have joined dozens of others crawling around on walls and ceilings, producing a constantly moving light show that reflects upon large crystal structures of white, green, red, blue and purple.

       "The beetles aren't the only light source – the crystals themselves are infused with their own internal lights, while glowing phosphorescent fungi, nightlight mushrooms, and Ormu add their own illumination to the deliriously beautiful, ever shifting light show. Mushrooms, from hip size to giant, are scattered about in abundance as well, and you see at least two gentle streams, one fed from a cascading waterfall, meandering through the chamber.

       "As my eyes get used to the light I noticed people sitting about, leaning on crystals, laying on mushroom caps, gazing up at the wondrous lights. A Duergar here, a svirfneblin there, and an ogre meandering about between two giant Zurkhwood over there. Nearby, a goblin, lazily lollygagging on its back on a four foot mushroom cap, lifts its head, grins at you and nods a welcome.

       "From a path between mushrooms we were confronted by even more beauty – an elvish woman, raven haired, rosy cheeked, lightly freckled, with kind welcoming blue eyes, wearing a flowing breezy light dress and a glimmering onyx pendant, approaches. Escorting her is a nine foot tall, yellowish brown, armor plated segmented biped with a bizarre set of four eyes, two bug like, two human like, arrayed above its massive mandibles.

       “'Hello!' says the fair maiden. 'Welcome to my garden. It's so wonderful to have guests.'"*

       This place was weird. The elf introduced herself as Princess Annarei, She told us of her Dark Prince, and his gift to her, a necklace with the symbol for Graz'zt- a demon lord who encourages seduction and the basest pleasures of life. Annarei apparently thinks that life should be lived in nothing but excess. She invited us to stay as long as we wanted to, and ushered us further into her garden, saying dinner would be served soon.

       "We followed the path from which Annarei emerged through her bizarrely beautiful crystal and fungal garden. At the center of the cavern sits an ancient, crumbling ruin of chiseled black granite – the foundation of what must have been a grand structure ages ago. Steps on all four sides lead up six feet to a level, black granite floor, rectangular, 40 feet wide by 70 feet long. The crumbled remains of what might have been obelisks adorn each corner, and at the back sits a cracked and crumbling altar.

       "In the midst of this platform sits a recently constructed ten foot long Zurkhwood dinner table, with 8 toad stool seats arranged about it. At the head of the table is a grand mushroom cap constructed chair, shaped like an inverted egg. Annarei takes this seat, and the Umber Hulk heads off to a kitchen carved in a Zurkhwood to fetch the meal."*

       Sajin took off toward the lake as soon as he spied it, and turned into a fish. The twins, seeing this, followed Sajin and tossed a net out to go fishing- they soon caught Sajin and tossed him into a barrel with the rest of their catch- but the barrel was full of Gresyl Wine, a substance Annarei makes in the garden. Being completely submerged in this wine, essentially breathing it, made Sajin completely wasted. The svirfneblin turned back into himself in the barrel, and jumped right back into the water, thinking he was still a fish... Thecker started throwing rocks at the plastered idiot, and managed to hit him right in the face! It was hilarious. Sajin made it back to shore and passed out.

       "The revelers are now thoroughly enjoying the effects of their drink – babbling on, looking dumbfounded, or gazing into space. My eyes wander off the platform and to the gardens beyond. A few other revelers shuffle along at the back of the garden, mindlessly wandering it seems.

       "No, they aren't mindlessly wandering – three of them have just set upon a passed out goblin and gutted him, while a fourth creature – a pale gaunt biped with hideous claw – places his claws upon this victim, who seizes in terror and falls limp and dead."*

       At the sight of them Thecker opened fire, alerting everyone else at the table- who was conscious- to the threat. Annarei was horrified at the sight, and sprouted wings, revealing she wasn't the elf we thought her to be. She began calling out names of the zombies, apparently they were former guests of hers who she thought had left- they had instead become zombies. We asked us to help with them, which we were of course willing to do.

       I pulled out the little basalt wolf figurine that once belonged to Elle, and told Hans to get to Orvald's Barrel to protect the children. I drew Dawnbringer and charged three of the zombies, knowing she would drop them easily. While the first two went down easily with my blade, the third was apparently a super zombie. It kept getting back up every time I thought Dawnbringer had finished it off. If Claire had actually been using Dawnbringer, not punching them, the last zombie would have stayed down, but the Purple Dragon was unaware her radiant sword wasn't real.

       I collected a finger bone from the super zombie, a trophy that I knew would make a great story in the barracks back home. Hans succeeded in protecting the children, who had followed their instructions and gotten in Orvald's Barrel the moment trouble arose. Annarei told us that there were three goblins, two gnomes, and one orc missing at the end of the battle. She asked us to help her deal with the undead threat to her garden, and would provide us with provisions if we did so.

       Sajin looked around the ruins and found a secret door, which was the most logical place the zombies were coming from. We left the twins with Annarei, and I set Hans up to guard Orvald's Barrel, keeping the children inside until we had dealt with the threat.

       As we descended into the tomb we saw carvings in the stone of drow fighting one another. It was clear that one faction was Lolthites, but there were no markings of who the other deity was. In some areas the stone was completely blank, as if the carvings had been drawn out of the stone. The unknown deity was Kiaransalee, who was once the drow goddess of death, until she decided to take on Lolth and Eilistraee in a game of sava- the same game of sava that killed Vhaeraun and Eilistraee. Mother and daughter teamed up against the Lady of Death and destroyed her, completely erasing her from all of existence. 

       We reached what seemed to be the end of a hallway, and entered a darkness so thick that Dawnbringer couldn't expel it; had Claire actually had her sword it probably would have been able to clear the darkness away. The air swished around us as something in the dark began attacking us; we tried fighting back, but couldn't tell if we were actually hitting our marks.

       Thecker blindly slammed into something, and seemed to open a passage in doing so. What the gunslinger had opened was a sarcophagus, and poisonous gas began flowing out of the casket as the mummy within it rose. A small light sprang up around Kara, and Mezzem cast something that cleared the darkness away. There were a bunch of zombies- including a zombie ogre- and a mummy before us... shit. Between Dawnbringer and Mezzem's holy magics I hoped we would be able to take care of this. In a single, fluid move, Thecker sliced off the mummy's head- now we had only the zombies and a couple wights to kill.

       In a blaze of holy light, Mezzem killed six of the zombies, while a dark energy began to coalesce from within the coffin. A cry turned to a wail as a spirit rose from the sarcophagus, and the sound made Sajin fall unconscious. She began coaxing the spirits from her wights, and I felt terror down to my bones; I felt my body weaken as I turned to run away. Claire had just aged 70 years; the Purple Dragon became 99 years old.

       Thecker dumped a potion down the fallen Sajin's throat to revive the assassin, while Kara polished off the ogre. One of the spirits possessed Kara, while another tried and failed to possess Thecker. The spirit made Kara attack Mezzem, and the priestess went down. Sajin surveyed the battle, and decided to run away instead of helping his comrades. A blur shot past me as I ran to the stairs- I couldn't stop shaking with fear as I ran to escape this tomb.

       Mezzem somehow was able to come to, and  she crawled over to Thecker's unconscious body, reviving her just in time- had she waited a moment longer, the gnome would likely have died. Mezzem took stock of their injuries and began healing them with the little magic she had left in her that day. I emerged from the tomb on Sajin's heels, just as he announced to Annarei that there were ghosts behind us. The princess swore and summoned a vrock- I don't know why she didn't just do that to begin with. Kara came out of the tomb next and stalked toward me- she stabbed me.

       I felt a pressure on my mind as something attempted to take hold of it, and was suddenly no longer in control of my body. Claire was possessed, again. Sajin destroyed the mummy's spirit once it came out of its tomb, but Claire and Kara were still possessed. He then knocked both of them unconscious, expelling the ghosts within them, who found themselves unable to seize another body. With the help of Annarei's people, the ghosts were taken out.

       Mezzem emerged from the tomb just in time to revive Claire and Kara- Claire had been sitting on the brink of true death. 

***** Flamerule 14

       The princess invited us to spend the day in her garden recuperating from yesterday's fight. It was a much needed, very welcome rest. I received a potion of longevity from Thecker, which took me down to my 70's, I think. Then Kara planted some magic beans, and one produced a tree that brought me closer to my 50's, I think. I really hate the fucking Underdark.

       Annarei did offer to petition to her Dark Prince to assist me, and restore me to the proper age, but I couldn't make a deal of that kind. It was wrong to make any sort of deal with any sort of devil, regardless of how much I hated being my mother's age.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. 
The Wicked Garden is from Journey Through the Center of the Underdark by Tony Petrecca, and can be found on the DM's Guild. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from there.