Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Five

The Battle of Blingdenstone Part Two: 
The Pudding King

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe. Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud and Geophry's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil
Barkbeak, Vadania's Hippogriff Steed
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Stool, the Myconid Child was raised from the grave by Mezzem
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild- grick kibble

Friendly Fire: 214

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Uktar 5, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Blingdenstone

       Before we could pursue the invisible red, we got a call from our artillery support that a group of them were cut off from the Diggermattocks and were in desperate need of healing. Mezzem decided to go help them, leaving us without a healer.

       Lily had also heard the call for a healer, and he grabbed Geophry- who he had seen lurking in the background of the fight- and told the chair to take him to that group. By the time the bard had reached the group needing help, Mezzem was already there, so Lily decided to head over to the main party, since their healer had randomly abandoned them.

       Flimflam was in the middle of freezing the slimy path that the Pudding King had taken when he fled, when Lily and Geophry flew in. It was a relief to see them, since we were not happy Mezzem had randomly decided to leave us. Rosebud offered Flimflam some of his blood to help speed up the process, and when he did the lad fell asleep, flashed with colored light, and was outlined in faerie fire; then a draconic roar echoed around the cavern as the floor became covered in ice. Apparently blood is a very good way to empower a spell.

       Before we could advance too far, Flimflam exclaimed in pain, he had been hit with another mental attack- those were getting really annoying. I want to say war was simpler in Cormyr, but I know that's just me hating this battle and missing my home; you know you've grown homesick when you even miss the wars you were part of. I shook those thoughts aside before my homesickness overtook my ability to fight. I would not let my melancholy be the reason that my friends died.

       The room we were walking into "Phosphorescent lichen illuminated this cave. the floor of which was covered with pools of green slime. More green slime clung to the ceiling and formed hideous drapes along the walls. In the middle of the cave, facing east, was a slime covered throne."* Based on the throne this seemed to be the Pudding King's base of operations.

       Lily had Geophry wake his brother, and Rosebud got right up and grew much larger; then slime landed on him. I shot at the throne in this frozen room, thinking there might be something hiding back there, but nothing happened; I barely dodged a slime falling off the ceiling of the cavern. Suddenly a crown of crystallized, spiky slime appeared around Rosebud's forehead, as if the ball that had just landed on him solidified into the crown. That was not going to be good for us.

       Flimflam used his ice breath at the throne and we saw "The Pudding King cowered behind his slime covered throne and chortled in his joy. 'Callooh! Callay! Now you can join the party!' he cackled. 'You can be one with the Faceless Lord. Just let yourselves be eaten and disgorged!'"* Yeah, cause that sounds fucking pleasant. Vadania's hand went to her forehead in pain from a mental attack, and Lily told Geophry to fly him to the throne; the King was indeed hiding back there, and now we could end this. I hope.

       Vadania and I ran over to the throne to help Lily deal with the King, but for some reason I could not see him back there. Then Lily summoned his Hand- I shuddered- and picked up the King. Rosebud whacked Flimflam and chucked his hammer at me- that fucking hurt! The stupid crown thing must be fucking with his mind, we had to get it off of him somehow. In Lily's Hand the Pudding King screamed and blood began flowing from between the fingers... the blood turned into ooze that then enveloped the Hand- it was like looking at a pudding that was made of flesh and blood- really gross.

       Lily called to us that we couldn't use fire, cold, or acid against the King, and that our weapons would do little damage. So I was going to be kind of useless in this battle apparently. Geophry pointed out to us the pudding that had been hitting us with mental attacks, and it looked like multiple different types of puddings had merged to form that one. Vadania called a beam of moonlight down on the King, and he became a gnome again, who was clinging to one of the fingers on Lily's Hand. I shot my crossbow at it and missed horribly, and Lily punched the ground with the King still gripping the finger- I pushed away the memories of the Living Dungeon at the sight of that. A shield flared before impact though, the King had cast something to prevent the punch from hurting him- so Lily yelled out that "I've shit better oozes than you!" Eew.

       The King managed to get off of the Hand, and the moment he was out of Vadania's light he turned back into an ooze. He spewed acid at everyone, missing only Lily, Geophry, and Vadania, destroying Lily's Hand, dropping Flimflam, and then he engulfed our elemental. Geophry turned immediately to help his friend, and Lily jumped off of the chair as soon as he was close enough. Vadania's beam moved back onto the King, and he became a gnome again- still gripping our elemental; this was going to be annoying- more so than everything already was.

       I stabbed the King, but it didn't seem to do anything to him, Lily insulted him to no avail, and our poor elemental just could not break out of its grasp. The Pudding King teleported and began to run away, calling to the invisible psychic ooze to devour us. Green bolts came flying from the ooze, slamming into the elemental and I, and then it held its head in pain- the ooze must have hit it with a mental attack.

       The combination of the acid and the mental attacks were too much for our poor elemental; it died. Flimflam attempted to use his blood to do something magical- the arcane words I heard sounded like his lightning bolt- but he dropped unconscious instead of casting anything. Geophry went to revive Flimflam, and announced to us that Lily was trapped in a cube. I hurried to catch up to help him.

       Lily went after the Pudding King, but there was a gelatinous cube blocking his path- that he didn't see until he had run into it. Rosebud followed, and thought at first that Lily was just playing around, the halftaur didn't realize his mother was trapped in the cube. The ooze hit Rosebud with a blight spell, but that wasn't enough to slow him down when his momma was in trouble. 

       I slammed my Rod at the cube, hoping to free Lily, and I think it worked, since a second later he broke out of the cube. Rosebud dealt it the killing blow for hurting his momma, and we hurriedly scraped some of the acid that was stuck to us off so it would quit hurting us. While we were doing that, I saw Geophry fly Flimflam up near the psychic ooze, and he let loose a lighting bolt at it... which then bounced right back at him. Chairy did an impressive maneuver to make the lightning hit him instead of Flimflam.

       The insane svirfneblin then used his blood to fuel a thunder spell, which hit me instead of the ooze. At that Flimflam declared that he was useless, and told Geophry to drop him off and pick up Lily instead. Something in Flimflam snapped and for the next few minutes he was convinced that he was an ooze. My head screamed in pain as I was hit with another mental attack, and I was dimly aware of Chairy dive bombing Rosebud and I to neutralize the acid on us. The mental pain struck me again, it felt like my head was about to explode.

       Flimflam then decided to use blood magic to usurp control of the oozes from the Pudding King, which backfired in a few ways. First he turned into a hobgoblin, then a tree appeared and scorpions came flowing out of it, which all began attacking Flimflam, and then he was polymorphed into a pearlescent ooze. 

       I saw a new ooze in the room, a pearlescent one, and went for it, since I couldn't reach the damn psychic one anyway. Of course it responded to my attack, and left some weird goop on me- different than other oozes we've encountered. Vadania joined my assault of this ooze, and together we killed it... only to have it turn into a bleeding and unconscious Flimflam. Shit. Why the Hells did he think turning into an ooze was a good fucking idea right now?

       The fucking scorpions swarmed toward me now that their prey had died, so I pulled out an item I've been carrying for a long time now, and turned one of them into a giant scorpion that was under my control. Vadania revived Flimflam and I tossed him over my shoulder so we could catch up to the group. For some reason Vadania decided she needed to chop down the scorpion tree before following.

       Lily had Geophry fly him up to the psychic ooze and began stabbing it. The ooze responded by completely engulfing the bard, but he broke out of its hold quickly enough. Rosebud began beating on the ooze in retaliation. 

       I rounded the corner just in time to see Lily shove a bag of gunpowder and ball bearings into the ooze and ignite it. He couldn't get his hand away in time, and we were showered in ooze goo. None of us, including Lily, were hurt by the explosion though. Once Vadania had finished chopping down the tree, we continued on the path the Pudding King had taken.

       The chamber we entered was fairly large, with a sea of oozes being attacked by our troops, water pouring from one tunnel, and a group of gnomes attacking a large ooze. We realized that not all of the svirfneblin were actually attacking the ooze though, some of them appeared to be dead, two were fighting each other, and one was spinning uselessly in a circle. There was an odd babbling noise coming from the ooze, and it had a bunch of mouths; Lily said it was a gibbering mouther.

       Rosebud charged straight in toward the mouther, and Flimflam wriggled out of my grasp, going instead to the sea of oozes, slinging his ice spells at them. Vadania and I began running for the mouther, and commanded my scorpion to do the same, while Lily and Geophry flew toward it. Lily dropped his Hand on top of it, trying to mash it into the ground- I barely suppressed a shudder at the memory.

       As Rosebud slammed into it with his spear, I noticed that the bodies seemed to be sinking into the ground, which had to be a trick of the eye, since it wasn't really a place where they should be able to do so. Lily's Hand punched the mouther- shiver- and he tossed an insult at it, while I kept running. Rosebud suddenly froze in his tracks, as if something were preventing him from moving. Close contact with the mouther made Rosebud temporarily insane, and he literally could not do anything. 

       I saw the mouther shoot something at Rosebud, and lean in to bite him. It had spat acid at him, blinding him, but it missed with its bite attack. At that I shot my crossbow at the mouther, and had my scorpion claw at it. Lily's Hand came down hard on the thing, and it seemed to die; then a cloud of toxic spores came bursting out of the mouther, killing my poor scorpion.

       The only way the Pudding King could have gone was through the tunnel the water was coming from, but there was too much water for us to just cross it, so Lily used his Hand to start digging a trench to divert some of the water. Lily and Flimflam combined their power, and their blood, in an attempt to freeze the water, but it wasn't frozen enough for us to get through yet. It did make an illusion of a tarrasque appear, which distracted the oozes from us for a moment. We were getting pinned between that toxic cloud, the water, and the sea of oozes; we had to find a way through now or we may not survive this. We could hear more oozes coming from the way we had just came from too, so doubling back wasn't even an option.

       At that moment, Lily announced that the ooze wasn't dead, it was the Pudding King, and he was using the cloud to keep us away so he could heal. He grabbed Rosebud and used their dimensional portal to get back to the King. Chairy and Flimflam flew back toward it, once again leaving Vadania and I to run.

       Lily hurled a fire spell at the mouther, and Rosebud moved its body, revealing the Pudding King who had been hiding underneath it; he had indeed been eating the gnome corpses to heal himself. When Flimflam got there he dispelled the cloud kill to allow the rest of the group to get to them.

       I saw Lily drawing some runes around the Pudding King for Flimflam to use, as Vadania got to it; I was still a little further behind her. The flesh of the ooze began to bubble up as a green beam came out of it, aimed for Flimflam- but Vadania was in the way. My friend was reduced to a pile of ash. Seeing that, Rosebud sliced his leg, offering Flimflam fresh blood and told him to get the spell done and finish this. Flimflam threw two lightning bolts at the King, and it began to grow...

       Then a chunk of the wall behind it exploded, and the debris that slammed into it seemed to finish the ooze off. A large gelatinous cube appeared, and we could hear shots in the tunnel behind it, as 150 kobolds came pouring out of the tunnel. Platinum rays of light came from the cube as it sucked itself up into a suit of full plate armor that had been inside of it. The oozes fled from the cube, as it pursued them mercilessly. This had to be Glabbagool and the kobolds of Bahamutsville! We had won! Blingdenstone was saved!

***** Blingdenstone

       We spent the next couple of tendays cleaning up the remaining oozes, and reclaiming parts of the city. The myconids and kobolds settled into their new home quickly.

       In addition to losing Vadania, we lost Galothel, Umund, Elyn, and Glyphic; along with about 20% of our fighting forces. Medic and Dorbo were permanently disfigured by the oozes, and Dwarvenforge lost an arm- though that didn't seem to bother him, he said he could still smith one handed. He's probably going to make himself another arm like he did for me.

       True to their word, the Diggermattocks gave us a map to the surface, but the only way they knew of that would for sure take us there would put us somewhere in the High Forest. Instead of potentially spending month lost there, we chose to take the Deep Roads, which was a less scouted route, that they believed would take us to Gauntlgrym. The ancient dwarven city was near enough to Neverwinter that I could easily buy a portal home from there. We were given a guide named Schnella, who we were told was almost as good as Roswyn had been.

       Lily adopted Flimflam after the fight, his antics had shown that he belonged in the Petunia family. Rosebud finished crafting the repeating crossbow that Fidget had been working on before he died, and gave it to me so I'd have a better ranged weapon.

       On the 26 of Uktar we said goodbye to Mezzem, Thecker, the twins, Glabbagool, the kobolds, and our other friends in the city and set out on our journey to the surface. The group was now myself, Lily, Rosebud, Flimflam, Seluna, Niles, Twyla, Lith, Mithrilye, Amin, Arwenel, and a platinum dragonborn who was with Kibbik; he said it would be good for her to go with us.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Thirty-Four

The Battle of Blingdenstone Part One: Wading Through Oozes and Muck

Dramatis Personae:

Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights
Riddle, Claire's baby Basilisk
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Urthstripe, Claire's Alabaster Badger Figurine
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut who plots the murder of anyone who slights her
Lit, Mezzem's baby Basilisk
Rosebud Goldenrod Petunia, the Halfling/Shetland Pony "Centaur" Wererat Berserker, "The Destroyer;" who sees magic where there is none and collects things that aren't there
Lily Trillium Petunia, the Green Dragonborn Lore Bard, and Rosebud and Geophry's "Momma;" champion of the Living Dungeon
Vadania Nailaza, the Wild Elf Oakroot of Rillifane Rallathil
Barkbeak, Vadania's Hippogriff Steed
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut

Seluna, the Moon Elf Drow Totem Warrior Circle of the Moon Druid and Silverstar of Selûne
Flimflam Pebblehead, the Deep Gnome Arcanist who has to collect everything he finds
Smoothpalm, the Deep Gnome Monk of Smoothhands
Niles Rubusthorn, the Moon Elf Shadow Dancer
Twyla Alderleaf, the Moon Elf Scout
Geophry Cherry Blossom Petunia, the chair that used to be a boy
Stool, the Myconid Child was raised from the grave by Mezzem
Galothel Nightbreeze, the Moon Elf Alchemist
Amin of Citadel Adbar, the Shield Dwarf Alchemist
Mithrilye, the Sun Elf Entertainer who will do anything to achieve her goals, and believes that anything that can bring her pleasure should be enjoyed immediately, not saved until later
Lith, the Bronze Dragonborn Scholar
Fitzzle, Lith's violet faerie dragon familiar
Topsy and Turvy Goldwhiskers, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh met group briefly on route to Mantol Derith for trade
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian- became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter- abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom 

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube- stayed with the kobolds
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim- vorpaled to pieces by demon Easter bunnies

Rumpadump, the Myconid Child- frozen by demon Easter bunny was raised by Mezzem and went missing, it is believed that Stool ate him
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin- got stoned and kissed a pretty Medusa
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion- devoured by corbies
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster- wished herself home
Roswyn Darkshooter, the Deep Gnome Delver from the Miner's Guild- grick kibble

Friendly Fire: 207
Party members killed: 23
Overall party members lost: 30

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.

***** Marpenoth 25, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Blingdenstone

       After we got settled back in at Blingdenstone, we met with the Goldwhiskers, Diggermattocks, the Miner's Guild, the Stoneheart Enclave, the Burrow Wardens, and the ghosts to find out what had happened in our absence and to come up with a plan of attack. We would need a tenday to get everything together,

       We were told that the ooze attacks had escalated, they were attacking more often, and as a result the svirfneblin had to collapse two tunnels to keep them out. We would have access to one greater earth elemental from the Stoneheart Enclave, and ranged artillery support; the ghosts would be attacking from above and below.

       The majority of the Goldwhiskers and Diggermattocks would be on the front lines, keeping the oozes distracted so we could find the king. In addition to those factions, Amin, Galothel, Lith, Mithrilye, Lily, Medic, and Terrik would be part of the frontal assault.

       Flimflam, Rosebud, Vadania, Mezzem, and I would be taking a greater elemental and doing the infiltration, hopefully reaching and killing the Pudding King. We also made two small surgical strike teams that could be merged into a second infiltration team if we failed. The first would be Topsy, Thecker, and Seluna along with twelve Goldwhiskers; the second would have Turvy, Smoothpalm, Twyla, Niles, and twelve more Goldwhiskers. I hoped we wouldn't need to use the second strike team. We were not bringing Geophry with us, we didn't want to put the chair in harm's way.

       Once we had figured out on the maps where exactly everyone would be going, we all settled in to prepare for this fight.

***** Uktar 5, Blingdenstone

       Today we fight the Pudding King and hopefully save Blingdenstone. I had polished my armor, and said a quick pre-battle prayer to Torm. The letter to my mother was rewritten to tell her that if she was reading that I had died trying to save Blingdenstone. I hoped no one would need to send it. I made sure the others knew where it was, to make sure it would get to her. I also asked Mezzem to look after Riddle if I died. It was time for me to fight in another war against a seemingly endless army to save a good city from falling. I felt like it was the year of the Nether Mountain Scrolls all over again, when I was in the war against the Sembia and the Shadovar.

       We began our journey through the winding tunnel, hoping it was a backdoor that would bring us to the Pudding King faster. Rosebud and Mezzem were kind of scouting ahead, but not too far- we couldn't afford to lose sight of them. Rosebud came upon a puddle and splashed his maul into it, it splashed slime back at him. Turns out it wasn't an ooze, just a puddle of goo. Flimflam polymorphed him into an air elemental to get rid of the slime, which resulted in a bunch of slime balls whirling in the air around Mezzem. Rosebud tried to throw a slime ball at Flimflam and missed horribly.

       A little bit later we ran into a white pudding that pummeled Flimflam and he got stuck; I hate those ones. Then a black spiny one dropped down next to Mezzem, and two more whites dropped down, one grabbing Vadania and the other failing to grab Rosebud; a gray one followed them and took a swipe at our elemental. Mezzem and Rosebud each took a swipe at the spiny one, and it literally exploded in fire, hitting all of us. Vadania managed to break free of the white that was holding her, but poor Flimflam went down, and fell in the white on him even further.

       Rosebud hit one with his maul and it split, bludgeoning doesn't usually split them- he still killed both halves though. I decided to try a slashing blade on the next one, thinking since bludgeoning split one maybe slashing wouldn't, and that didn't work- it split, and then split again on the second swipe of my blade. Rosebud went for the one that had swallowed Flimflam, and though he hit it, he got stuck by it; Mezzem went for that one too, and she tried to move it to see Flimflam so she could heal him- which didn't work.

       Our elemental made short work of the gray that was on it, while I finished off the split pieces on me. Rosebud and Vadania kept working at the ooze that had swallowed Flimflam, before Mezzem decided to take a huge risk and reach into the ooze to attempt to revive the svirfneblin. We couldn't tell if it worked, but Mezzem's arm was now stuck in the fucking thing. I hate oozes. Flimflam was revived, but the horror of coming to inside an ooze broke his fragile mind, and he is now a hoarder.

       Vadania pulled Mezzem out of it, and just in time- Flimflam dropped a fireball on himself inside of it, the ooze was gone, and Flimflam was lying unconscious on the ground with his hands glowing brilliant colors. The explosion killed poor Barkbeak again- that insane gnome was really good at killing that hippogriff.

       A little while later we came across a huge puddle of slime that we couldn't get around, so Flimflam decided to freeze it. He began using the spell that makes a beam of frost come from his hands, but got annoyed with how long it was taking, and ended up using his dragon ice breath, which covered the entire tunnel in ice- and he suddenly seemed a little thinner.

       Shortly after that Rosebud rounded a corner, and saw what he described as "a shiny... magical... lump of death!" and charged forward, straight into a gelatinous cube. As we came up behind him a white ball came bouncing in, smacking Vadania and bouncing off of her into Mezzem. If it wasn't war, this would have been rather amusing to watch.

       Rosebud had broken free of the cube, and was now being attacked by three crystal-looking things. Flimflam used the spell that shoots a beam of frost out of his palm on the bouncy ball, and it seemed to shudder on impact. Mezzem whacked the ball with her sword, only to have it bounce back and hit her... I couldn't suppress a chuckle at that, it was just too funny watching her sword rebound right into her. Her rebounded hit seemed to kill that ball though, so we could turn our attention to the cube and crystals attacking Rosebud.

      Vadania and I went for the cube, and took it out in only a couple of hits. The metallic lump of death came up and began attacking Rosebud in the meantime- these oozes didn't seem to like the halftaur. He of course retaliated, but his maul barely seemed to chip one of the crystals. Flimflam used a lightning spell on one of the crystals- it exploded and paralyzed him. He's good at accidentally hurting himself while killing an enemy. Lucky for him Vadania fixed him before an ooze got to him.

        Both the elemental and I seemed to be barely able to touch the fucking crystals, and the elemental randomly burrowed into the ground after its attack. Flimflam unleashed a lightning bolt at all of them, killing all but one crystal and the metallic. Mezzem sent her pillar of radiance at the crystal, but it didn't drop- instead it paralyzed Rosebud.

       Vadania and I finished off the metallic, and Flimflam used more lightning on the remaining crystal. The elemental popped up too late to do anything. We gathered ourselves and continued our search for the King.

       We came up on another huge puddle of slime we couldn't get around. Mezzem tried to use the spell that cleans things, but it didn't do anything, so Flimflam froze the slime again. After we crossed the frozen tunnel, we saw the Pudding King. "The insane, slime-covered deep gnome pointed at us and cackled, 'Devour them, my precious children! Make your father proud!' He then bolted."*

       Rosebud fired an arrow in a direction where he thought one of them was, and we saw a metallic shimmer where the arrow landed. He then began to shake as if he was being attacked, but none of us could see anything great now we have invisible oozes. In his head, Rosebud heard a voice say "what's soft and gooey and red all over? You in about two seconds." He was being attacked by invisible tendrils. Flimflam blindly sent out a wave of thunder, and we saw a flash of light as the spell went off- we could briefly see the tentacles flailing about, but a second later they were gone. Flimflam could now hear mad giggling in his head.

       Rosebud was hit with a psychic attack so nasty his brain hurt- then the metallic slammed into Rosebud and spat at him, the spit sticking to him somehow. I shot at the wall where Rosebud had just shot, and in response tentacles whipped out, hitting both Flimflam and I. Mezzem did something to illuminate one of the oozes, and Flimflam froze the area; we could see a red metallic, that just missed me with spit.

       I chucked my javelin at the red, and followed up with my crossbow- it spat at me again. I fucking hate oozes. Our elemental walked up the wall toward it and slammed into the thing, I think it hurt the ooze but it's hard to tell against something like that. Flimflam shot fire at that one, but that didn't seem to do anything to it at all.

       Rosebud and Mezzem went for the one with whips, which did not spit when it was hit. Horrible pain coursed through my brain as one of the oozes targeted me with something; I shot at the red again. The ooze with the whips dropped poor Flimflam, and as Vadania retaliated something happened and I was blinded. I wish I still had Dawnbringer, she could have cured the blindness.

       The elemental kept pounding away at the red ooze, and Mezzem revived Flimflam. Flimflam climbed on Rosebud's back and shot a lightning bolt at the red ooze. I got my sight back right before Flimflam used that misty step thing into the air, hurling a lightning bolt killing the whip and a red; we could see now there was more than one red.

       Now we had a new problem, the spit balls the red had been throwing at us were very acidic and stuck to us. I doused myself in water, but that did nothing to get the goo off of me. Our elemental seemed to be in even worse shape, it was covered in the spit balls and seemed to be very badly hurt. Thankfully Mezzem sent out a burst of healing at that moment; while it didn't get the spitballs off of us, it at least knit some of our injured flesh back together.

       Flimflam sent another bolt of lightning at the red, causing it to split into two- I hate that oozes fucking split. It felt like a hammer hit me upside the brain as another mental attack got me. The ooze started spitting at us again, but it only hit Flimflam this time. I worked to get one of the globs off of myself so it would quit trying to destroy my armor, the poor elemental peeled one of the globs off, and I saw Vadania toss a glob off to the side. Flimflam kept chucking lightning bolts at the red, getting hit with more and more of that horrible spit.

       I shot at it with my crossbow, but the headache it had given me must have distracted me, I missed my shot completely. Mezzem used her pillar of radiance on it, and it was dead; now there was only one red left. Throughout all of this Mezzem kept sending out healing bursts, which was the only reason we were able to keep going in this fight.

       We then had a few seconds where all of were missing this damned ooze, I don't know how, it was right there, but it eventually Rosebud shot the fucking thing. Rosebud and Mezzem finished that one off, while the rest of us frantically worked to get the goo off of us. When they had finished it off, Rosebud announced there was another one further down the tunnel. None of us could see it, but Flimflam was hit with a mental attack, which backed up Rosebud's thoughts on there being yet another one.

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.