Shit Has Hit the Fan
Dramatis Personae:
Aurora Isilime, the Valley Elf Bard of Valor and Bae'qeshel of Lolth, the Silver Tongued Siren, who is the last Vale Elf
Eurydice, Aurora's faerie dragon familiar
Aurora Isilime, the Valley Elf Bard of Valor and Bae'qeshel of Lolth, the Silver Tongued Siren, who is the last Vale Elf
Eurydice, Aurora's faerie dragon familiar
Pharin Braz'Dracon, the Brass Dragon-Drow Conjurationist Wizard and Priest of Lolth, the Dark Conjurer
Sarlockh, Pharin's choldrith familiar
Vilrath, Pharin's flesh golem
Sarlockh, Pharin's choldrith familiar
Vilrath, Pharin's flesh golem
Dervish, the Kasathe Fighter and Dragon Blood Sorcerer
Willow Liadon, the Eladrin Arcane Trickster
Oryn Talus, the ancient and mysterious halfling who has employed the party; also know as Cinder, the ancient power that is said to destroy every world
Oryn Talus, the ancient and mysterious halfling who has employed the party; also know as Cinder, the ancient power that is said to destroy every world
Lan El'Mandragoran, the Human Paladin of Pelor
Lothar, the Sovani Smith and semi-Cleric of Moradin, High Priest of Lolth, Cleric of Istus, forced Cleric of Asmodeus; Kas Reincarnated
Ralliakkan, the Drow Rogue
Andolin Braz'Dracon, the Brass Dragon-Drow Fighter and Beast Master
BarraZotreth, Andolin's displacer beast animal companion
BarraZotreth, Andolin's displacer beast animal companion
Narg, there's really no way to describe Narg, Narg is just Narg
Elder Vish, Dervish's friend and mentor from his world
Elder Vish, Dervish's friend and mentor from his world
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Aurora's perspective. Anything in italics is from a third person, since the bard can't be everywhere at once.
***** Lacysnows 5, 710 CY, Potidaea Bard College
I was preparing to leave Potidaea when a messenger came with a letter for Gabrielle. Dread settled over her face as she read it, and called a council meeting. I picked up the words "attack, barbarian, and Jayce," before she vanished into the council room. I contacted Dervish and Pharin through the rings, telling them what I'd heard and coordinating where we should meet up. I couldn't reach Willow or Ralliakkan, there seemed to be something blocking me- and I couldn't scry for them either.
We figured out that Jarrid was in the Dry Steppes, while Jayce was gearing up to leave Black Moor. I voted for Dry Steppes, since I couldn't bear the thought of seeing that glorious barbarian as a twisted undead. I met Dervish, Pharin, Andolin, and Dervish's army in the Oasis, and learned that the barbarians were marching quickly toward us. When they were about a minute out, we got reports of another group coming at us from the south. Fucking shit monkeys. Of course they're going to surround us. Dervish, Vish, and I took part of the army to defend the south, leaving Pharin and Andolin to defend the north side.
Dervish and I were met with surprise when we saw Nanu leading the southern horde- of course the nightcunt would be easy to flip, she wasn't the smartest horse in the barn. I know that's not the expression, but I don't care. When our former comrade got close enough, we discovered her eyes were completely white- like she was possessed or something. Made sense, she always had a weak will.
Dervish unleashed a volley of lye arrows- the ones Lothar had made for us in the Sea of Dust- and they didn't seem to do anything to the fowl foal. I tried one of my Bae'qeshel gifts, Song of the Spider, expecting it to work- nothing happened. Not to her or the barbarians. What the in Nine was going on? That should have easily hit them! Nanu and barbarians were know for not being willful enough to stand up to my charms! I was pissed.
Then the bitch bamfed in front of Dervish and started laying into him pretty hard. I pulled out my Horn and summoned twenty berserkers to aid us. Dervish and Vish grouped together and unleashed a whirlwind of blade attacks on the fowl foul- but Vish slipped up and suddenly the bitch had him by the throat. I unleashed a firestorm on the horde, and my berserkers did what they could, but they weren't doing much damage, and were dropping too quickly. At least they'd keep her horde busy while we dealt with her. Dervish did something that sent Vish away, to free him from Nanu's grasp, since the warrior didn't seem to be doing too well on his own.
I grabbed another harp and dropped another firestorm on the barbarians, who then dropped all but six of my berserkers. Fucking Hells. Nanu and Dervish were locked in combat- she attempted, and failed, to charm him- and when that didn't work the nightcunt unleashed a series of devastating attacks on him. I sent Eurydice to Dervish to cast a restoration spell, and he perked back up a bit. His army seemed to be doing well against hers, except my poor berserkers, who had all fallen by this point. It was clear Dervish could use some backup against our former comrade, so I drew my Lolth Blade and sent my shadow twin down to help him. Before my double could do much, Nanu unleashed a series of blows at both of them which dropped my twin.
Whatever was possessing her was kind of bad ass, a few months ago she wouldn't have been able to drop my shadow twin. Dervish and Nanu continued exchanging blows, while I kept helping his army with firestorms, when suddenly Nanu vanished. Fucking wonderful, the bitch could turn invisible now. We whirled on her troops, and after a few more seconds, there were only four of her people left. Dervish suddenly looked tired, his haste had run out. Nanu, of course, chose that moment to reappear ad began wailing on him.
Vish appeared at her flank and he and Dervish began laying into the nightmorc. Then, since she just wasn't going down, Dervish had his mages magic missile the cunt. Nanu was hit with 108 magic missiles all at once, and she finally went down. When the dust cleared we discovered it wasn't Nanu, but instead a fucking doppelganger. Explains why she was able to do so much damage to us all.
Apparently Douchebag and Andolin had an easy time taking down their half of the horde, and it was very clear that Jarrid had only been there as a distraction. At about the same time Not-Nanu got magic missiled to death, he said his test was completed and vanished.
We set up camp at the Oasis, it made the most sense to stay there for the night. At some point during the night, we felt this massive pulse of energy, and a huge fire erupted about forty leagues from us. We figured it was a failed attempt to activate a beacon. Douchebag decided that meant we should just summon a ton of demons to fight the undead hordes, while the rest of us took on the beacons.
Pharin said he's try to find the beacon locations, who the fuck knows how, and I'd scry for the locations of the hordes. Aeryn and Aerys had apparently been risen and joined the ranks of our enemies. They had about 500 people in the Udgru Forest. Jayce had about fifty people with him, and there was no sign of Jarrid or Nanu. I attempted to scry Willow and Ralliakkan, but all I got were some brief flashes of brown and green. The world is going to Hells fucking fast.
Douchebag found some decent potential locations for the beacons, so that gave us a starting point, if we wanted to deal with those first.
***** Lacysnows 6, Dry Steppes Oasis
We did a little bit of shopping before heading out this morning. But when we tried to teleport to the beacon location, we discovered that the entire continent was locked down. There was no teleporting, no plane shifting, nothing. Fuck.
We were going to turn a folding boat into a permanent airship to let us travel; it was the only way we could get around in a somewhat reasonable amount of time. When we began to get everything ready, Lan appeared; Pelor had sent him to help us with this. He was able to help douchebag with the ritual to make it an airship, and to make the spell permanent. This was going to take a long ass time though, we weren't looking at a simple ritual.
***** Lacysnows 7, Dry Steppes Oasis
Everything was finally ready to go to make an airship. Dervish's wizards were going to help douchebag in the ritual; Lan used their blood to amplify power for Pharin to make the spell work. As soon as the spell was finished, Lan vanished. I guess Pelor decided he didn't need to stick around.
Pharin and I created together a Magnificent Mansion on the ship to house all of Dervish's mages, and all of us, comfortably on the ship. I was reluctant to help douchebag with anything, but we needed this to be a more powerful spell than normal. After that, we were finally ready to set "sail."
As we were getting in the air, something made of fire crashed into the ship and made an enormous hole. Pharin and I, together (shudder) made a massive Hut that encompassed the ship to protect it from anymore falling objects. More fire pelted the shield, while Pharin reached out mentally, and discovered there was something on the underside of the ship- the fire was just a decoy.
Then the Sultan of Nothing appeared on our ship. Andolin attacked him and went right through him; then he seemed to be in a daze. Another decoy.
Then the actual Sultan of Nothing (Kester) appeared above our ship- in the Hut- and plummeted to the deck as Dervish's mages dispelled all of his magical crap. Unfortunately, this also dispelled all of the buffs I'd already placed on myself and the others. The Sultan turned into smoke and filled the Hut; it was just a camouflage tactic, he was flying around the ship, and we were now completely unaware of where the fuck he was. Then my body was hit with a pain so intense I couldn't move. It hit everyone except Douchebag and two of Dervish's mages.
Pharin stabbed the Sultan with Cinder's dagger, and the Sultan dispelled the Hut and vanished. The ship stopped moving. Pharin cast darkness on himself, and grabbed Andolin to merge with him, but the Sultan managed to stop them. To keep that from happening again, Pharin put an anti-magic field on himself, merged with his brother, and dropped the field. Andolin was very out of it.
Douchebag and the Sultan exchanged blows for a few moments, and the Sultan seemed to be winning; then a massive beam of radiant energy slammed into him. Lothar was floating in front of Pharin, Dervish's mages had summoned him. The Sultan was on the ground below us now, and the others dropped 1200 pounds of adamantine on him. Pharin went flying toward him, hoping to trap the Sultan's soul before it went back to the phylactery. A massive explosion rocked the earth below us as the Sultan died from our heavy metal attack, and the soul was gone.
Lothar and Dervish's people got to repairs on the ship while Douchebag and I set up a new mansion and shield.
Later that night, Pharin asked me to tell him everything I knew about mind flayers so he could work on making sure a psychic attack from the Sultan couldn't happen again. He started up a ritual, that I reluctantly helped with. There was something wrong with Andolin; to Pharin, through their psychic bond, it looked like Andolin's brain was jumping around. Weird things kept happening during the ritual- candles flickering out, book pages on their own, that kind of shit. After a bit, Pharin said he didn't need my help anymore, so I headed to my rooms.
Pharin attempted to merge with his brother, to figure out what was wrong, but he hit a block. No matter what he tried, he could not merge with Andolin, and Andolin wasn't responding to him at all. As a last resort, Pharin punched his brother, and Andolin finally looked up, then collapsed.
I was preparing to leave Potidaea when a messenger came with a letter for Gabrielle. Dread settled over her face as she read it, and called a council meeting. I picked up the words "attack, barbarian, and Jayce," before she vanished into the council room. I contacted Dervish and Pharin through the rings, telling them what I'd heard and coordinating where we should meet up. I couldn't reach Willow or Ralliakkan, there seemed to be something blocking me- and I couldn't scry for them either.
We figured out that Jarrid was in the Dry Steppes, while Jayce was gearing up to leave Black Moor. I voted for Dry Steppes, since I couldn't bear the thought of seeing that glorious barbarian as a twisted undead. I met Dervish, Pharin, Andolin, and Dervish's army in the Oasis, and learned that the barbarians were marching quickly toward us. When they were about a minute out, we got reports of another group coming at us from the south. Fucking shit monkeys. Of course they're going to surround us. Dervish, Vish, and I took part of the army to defend the south, leaving Pharin and Andolin to defend the north side.
Dervish and I were met with surprise when we saw Nanu leading the southern horde- of course the nightcunt would be easy to flip, she wasn't the smartest horse in the barn. I know that's not the expression, but I don't care. When our former comrade got close enough, we discovered her eyes were completely white- like she was possessed or something. Made sense, she always had a weak will.
Dervish unleashed a volley of lye arrows- the ones Lothar had made for us in the Sea of Dust- and they didn't seem to do anything to the fowl foal. I tried one of my Bae'qeshel gifts, Song of the Spider, expecting it to work- nothing happened. Not to her or the barbarians. What the in Nine was going on? That should have easily hit them! Nanu and barbarians were know for not being willful enough to stand up to my charms! I was pissed.
Then the bitch bamfed in front of Dervish and started laying into him pretty hard. I pulled out my Horn and summoned twenty berserkers to aid us. Dervish and Vish grouped together and unleashed a whirlwind of blade attacks on the fowl foul- but Vish slipped up and suddenly the bitch had him by the throat. I unleashed a firestorm on the horde, and my berserkers did what they could, but they weren't doing much damage, and were dropping too quickly. At least they'd keep her horde busy while we dealt with her. Dervish did something that sent Vish away, to free him from Nanu's grasp, since the warrior didn't seem to be doing too well on his own.
I grabbed another harp and dropped another firestorm on the barbarians, who then dropped all but six of my berserkers. Fucking Hells. Nanu and Dervish were locked in combat- she attempted, and failed, to charm him- and when that didn't work the nightcunt unleashed a series of devastating attacks on him. I sent Eurydice to Dervish to cast a restoration spell, and he perked back up a bit. His army seemed to be doing well against hers, except my poor berserkers, who had all fallen by this point. It was clear Dervish could use some backup against our former comrade, so I drew my Lolth Blade and sent my shadow twin down to help him. Before my double could do much, Nanu unleashed a series of blows at both of them which dropped my twin.
Whatever was possessing her was kind of bad ass, a few months ago she wouldn't have been able to drop my shadow twin. Dervish and Nanu continued exchanging blows, while I kept helping his army with firestorms, when suddenly Nanu vanished. Fucking wonderful, the bitch could turn invisible now. We whirled on her troops, and after a few more seconds, there were only four of her people left. Dervish suddenly looked tired, his haste had run out. Nanu, of course, chose that moment to reappear ad began wailing on him.
Vish appeared at her flank and he and Dervish began laying into the nightmorc. Then, since she just wasn't going down, Dervish had his mages magic missile the cunt. Nanu was hit with 108 magic missiles all at once, and she finally went down. When the dust cleared we discovered it wasn't Nanu, but instead a fucking doppelganger. Explains why she was able to do so much damage to us all.
Apparently Douchebag and Andolin had an easy time taking down their half of the horde, and it was very clear that Jarrid had only been there as a distraction. At about the same time Not-Nanu got magic missiled to death, he said his test was completed and vanished.
We set up camp at the Oasis, it made the most sense to stay there for the night. At some point during the night, we felt this massive pulse of energy, and a huge fire erupted about forty leagues from us. We figured it was a failed attempt to activate a beacon. Douchebag decided that meant we should just summon a ton of demons to fight the undead hordes, while the rest of us took on the beacons.
Pharin said he's try to find the beacon locations, who the fuck knows how, and I'd scry for the locations of the hordes. Aeryn and Aerys had apparently been risen and joined the ranks of our enemies. They had about 500 people in the Udgru Forest. Jayce had about fifty people with him, and there was no sign of Jarrid or Nanu. I attempted to scry Willow and Ralliakkan, but all I got were some brief flashes of brown and green. The world is going to Hells fucking fast.
Douchebag found some decent potential locations for the beacons, so that gave us a starting point, if we wanted to deal with those first.
***** Lacysnows 6, Dry Steppes Oasis
We did a little bit of shopping before heading out this morning. But when we tried to teleport to the beacon location, we discovered that the entire continent was locked down. There was no teleporting, no plane shifting, nothing. Fuck.
We were going to turn a folding boat into a permanent airship to let us travel; it was the only way we could get around in a somewhat reasonable amount of time. When we began to get everything ready, Lan appeared; Pelor had sent him to help us with this. He was able to help douchebag with the ritual to make it an airship, and to make the spell permanent. This was going to take a long ass time though, we weren't looking at a simple ritual.
***** Lacysnows 7, Dry Steppes Oasis
Everything was finally ready to go to make an airship. Dervish's wizards were going to help douchebag in the ritual; Lan used their blood to amplify power for Pharin to make the spell work. As soon as the spell was finished, Lan vanished. I guess Pelor decided he didn't need to stick around.
Pharin and I created together a Magnificent Mansion on the ship to house all of Dervish's mages, and all of us, comfortably on the ship. I was reluctant to help douchebag with anything, but we needed this to be a more powerful spell than normal. After that, we were finally ready to set "sail."
As we were getting in the air, something made of fire crashed into the ship and made an enormous hole. Pharin and I, together (shudder) made a massive Hut that encompassed the ship to protect it from anymore falling objects. More fire pelted the shield, while Pharin reached out mentally, and discovered there was something on the underside of the ship- the fire was just a decoy.
Then the Sultan of Nothing appeared on our ship. Andolin attacked him and went right through him; then he seemed to be in a daze. Another decoy.
Then the actual Sultan of Nothing (Kester) appeared above our ship- in the Hut- and plummeted to the deck as Dervish's mages dispelled all of his magical crap. Unfortunately, this also dispelled all of the buffs I'd already placed on myself and the others. The Sultan turned into smoke and filled the Hut; it was just a camouflage tactic, he was flying around the ship, and we were now completely unaware of where the fuck he was. Then my body was hit with a pain so intense I couldn't move. It hit everyone except Douchebag and two of Dervish's mages.
Pharin stabbed the Sultan with Cinder's dagger, and the Sultan dispelled the Hut and vanished. The ship stopped moving. Pharin cast darkness on himself, and grabbed Andolin to merge with him, but the Sultan managed to stop them. To keep that from happening again, Pharin put an anti-magic field on himself, merged with his brother, and dropped the field. Andolin was very out of it.
Douchebag and the Sultan exchanged blows for a few moments, and the Sultan seemed to be winning; then a massive beam of radiant energy slammed into him. Lothar was floating in front of Pharin, Dervish's mages had summoned him. The Sultan was on the ground below us now, and the others dropped 1200 pounds of adamantine on him. Pharin went flying toward him, hoping to trap the Sultan's soul before it went back to the phylactery. A massive explosion rocked the earth below us as the Sultan died from our heavy metal attack, and the soul was gone.
Lothar and Dervish's people got to repairs on the ship while Douchebag and I set up a new mansion and shield.
Later that night, Pharin asked me to tell him everything I knew about mind flayers so he could work on making sure a psychic attack from the Sultan couldn't happen again. He started up a ritual, that I reluctantly helped with. There was something wrong with Andolin; to Pharin, through their psychic bond, it looked like Andolin's brain was jumping around. Weird things kept happening during the ritual- candles flickering out, book pages on their own, that kind of shit. After a bit, Pharin said he didn't need my help anymore, so I headed to my rooms.
Pharin attempted to merge with his brother, to figure out what was wrong, but he hit a block. No matter what he tried, he could not merge with Andolin, and Andolin wasn't responding to him at all. As a last resort, Pharin punched his brother, and Andolin finally looked up, then collapsed.
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| Map by Anna B. Meyer |
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