Monday, December 25, 2017
New Magic Items for 5th Edition
Monday, December 18, 2017
Staff of the Beastlands: New Magic Item for Druids
Monday, December 11, 2017
The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Making of the Mechanimal and his Gnome
I grew up at the Friendly Arm Inn, where my family has lived since not long after the spellplague. The Steamgears originated on the island of Lantan where they worked on advancing technology. My great-grandparents were adventuring at the time of the spellplague, saving them from sharing in the fate of the rest of Lantan, which was destroyed by the tsunamis and earthquakes that followed the blue fire. My family ended up settling at the Friendly Arm Inn because of the large gnome population there, and we've been happy there ever since.
Since I was a child I've been fascinated by the stories of the technology that was lost with Lantan, I always begged to hear more stories. I was in love with the tech that my family spoke of, and wanted to know more- create some of my own.
Eventually I was able to apprentice with an artificer who was willing to show me how to build things and create tech of my own; and after years of study, I was able to create my first Mechanimal: Critical Bumbersnoot. I created him in honor of my beloved dachshund that I'd had as a child, whose name was Bumbersnoot. I even gave him the personality of the original dog. I'd gotten back my childhood companion, and this time I'd have him forever.
My cousins and I have always dreamed of finding the lost technology in Lantan, reclaiming some of the incredible inventions our family talked about. We've spent years researching the island, hoping to someday find it. I took up adventuring in hopes that it would help lead me to Lantan. I've raided the bookshelves of every Temple of Gond on the Sword Coast, as well as every tinker guild looking for clues, but I've yet to find any.
Someday though, we will find ancient Lantan, and we'll be celebrated for returning our lost knowledge to our people.
Since I was a child I've been fascinated by the stories of the technology that was lost with Lantan, I always begged to hear more stories. I was in love with the tech that my family spoke of, and wanted to know more- create some of my own.
Eventually I was able to apprentice with an artificer who was willing to show me how to build things and create tech of my own; and after years of study, I was able to create my first Mechanimal: Critical Bumbersnoot. I created him in honor of my beloved dachshund that I'd had as a child, whose name was Bumbersnoot. I even gave him the personality of the original dog. I'd gotten back my childhood companion, and this time I'd have him forever.
My cousins and I have always dreamed of finding the lost technology in Lantan, reclaiming some of the incredible inventions our family talked about. We've spent years researching the island, hoping to someday find it. I took up adventuring in hopes that it would help lead me to Lantan. I've raided the bookshelves of every Temple of Gond on the Sword Coast, as well as every tinker guild looking for clues, but I've yet to find any.
Someday though, we will find ancient Lantan, and we'll be celebrated for returning our lost knowledge to our people.
Monday, December 4, 2017
Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: Book One, Chapter Fourteen
Things Blow up in Winry's Face
Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer Wizard
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Dunderbittles, Winry's Clockwork Ladybug familiar
Dunderbittles, Winry's Clockwork Ladybug familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina Taenfeather, the Human Knight
Amara aka Lady Talina Neverember, the Human Noble
Lady Sylvia Sweetwater, the Human Rogue
Amara aka Lady Talina Neverember, the Human Noble
Lady Sylvia Sweetwater, the Human Rogue
Gill O'Darby, the Human Ranger
Bex Thriceorphaned, the Goliath Juggernaut Barbarian Circle of the Crescent Druid
Trip Hazard, Bex's Golden Cat animal companion
Trip Hazard, Bex's Golden Cat animal companion
Comrades we have lost:
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Revenant Werewolf Sea Sorceress- turned into a vampire, then killed by the party, then risen as a revenant, and killed again by the party
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once.
***** Kythorn 1, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), on the road
After we gathered ourselves up, along with Remington's body, we headed back to our caravan to make sure everything was okay there. We let them know about the others betrayal, and for the most part they seemed to believe us, though one wagon seemed pretty unaccepting of this. Since it was too hard to keep moving in this hella nasty storm, we decided to backtrack an hour and set up camp. We didn't want to set up camp exactly where the traitors had left us, in case they came back.
About an hour before dark we heard horses in the distance, in the direction we're headed. Oskar and Jak went to check it out, and I sent Dunderbittles with them so if they needed help she could alert me. They were a group of gypsies who wanted to share our fire for the night. They were great morale boost, we feasted and they had entertainers. It was hella fun.
Later in the evening, one of the older women offered us each a card reading. Jak went first, and after reading his past and future, his present gave him a choice. He had to choose two of three cards, and one of them would be passed to someone else. He chose Oskar, and whatever the Hells he did, caused Oskar to shrink, he was even smaller than me now! It was hella awesome. Oskar was pissed. He hit Jak right in the nuts with his hammer and totally busted them. It was so fucking funny watching him writhe in pain. Especially since Oskar hit him in the nuts with the hammer again, this time he followed it up with healing. After a bit more laughing, and me loving not being the shortest person in the group for a little bit, the old woman Oskar a tea and he grew back to his normal size.
The card Jak selected for himself made all of our spoiled Stasis Orbs rest. This would have been hella awesome if I hadn't had one that I was on the brink of cracking. He just undid all of my work... having Oskar's hammer bust his nuts was totally deserved.
Bex went next, but nothing hilarious or ridiculous happened from her reading.
I went after that, and was told in my past I'd dished out and taken my share of heavy hits, which was true. In my future I should be wary of those who strike from the shadows. My present was the inverted ghost, and once the card went off, I felt a little more clear headed.
We traded them the experimental kitchen gadgets for some wine, and it took us a little while to find the prices for them... Oskar had said that since he was heading the caravan, he'd take care of the manifest. He fucking lost it. Never trust a dwarf to do a gnome's job. Eventually we got it all squared away, and had a bunch of wine to sell off in Waterdeep.
***** Kythorn 5, Triboar
We arrived in Triboar today, and managed to sell off our ale and cheese. Jak wanted to buy some ponies and leather to sell in Waterdeep, so we ended up with ten ponies at the end of it and a bunch of leather.
Half of the caravan was breaking off here, so we decided to move on on our own. Amara thought it would be best for us to get to Waterdeep and then further south as quickly as possible. We decided to slip out in the night, bribing the guards at the gates to say they'd never seen us pass through. We pushed through the night.
***** Kythorn 9, outside of Waterdeep
We were just a couple of hours outside Waterdeep, so we decided to grab a room on the outskirts of town. Since we had a bunch of stuff to do, that needed to be done as quickly as possible, we decided to split up. Jak and Bex would go sell the last of our trade goods, Oskar would turn in our creatures to Jackass, and I would go look for discreet travel for us. The girls and Gill would stay in the room and out of sight. I gave them one of my Talkie Stones, and gave Jak the other, since he's the fastest.
I was just outside of the transport building when I noticed a flying snake approaching me who looked a little winded. It had a message from my cousin Edie that said "Eureka! I found it!" Included was the schematics to a mechanical hand we created together a few years ago, but when I looked closer at it, there were the sigils for a teleportation circle in it, along with the message "I'm going ahead, I'll contact you in a tenday unless something happens." It was dated two tendays ago, when we were in Mirabar. Fuck. I copied the sigils onto another sheet of paper to see if there was anything that matched them in the building. Everyone told me the sigils appeared to be ancient. I found directions to a discreet circle in Skullport that we could take to get out of here secretly.
When I got back to the room I asked Oskar if he could do a sending for me so I could reach Edie; all I got in response was static. I explained to the others that Edie had probably gone to Lantan, since that's been our dream since we were little, and that since I hadn't heard from her, she may have gotten into trouble in the ancient city. I told them I didn't know what we'd be walking into, and that they didn't have to come with me, but I needed to do this as soon as we got the girls to Calimport.
Amara said that Lantan was not far off from Calimport, and that taking the teleportation circle to Lantan, then going by boat to Calimport would be a great way to throw people off their trails. I was relieved my friends wanted to go with me, I didn't want to walk into the complete unknown alone. Oskar had a way of doing a circle on his own, so he could get us there without handing over these sigils. I didn't want to give them to anyone. We did a quick shopping trip and stocked up on everything we thought we might need, and then we set off for what I hoped was Lantan. I prayed we weren't too late to help Edie.
Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, Sylvia, and I got a bit sick from the travel. When we oriented ourselves, I saw we were in a twenty foot stone room with no exit. All that was in here was the circle. I poked around and found a brick that opened a secret door. Outside was a dimly lit stone hallway, to the left was some light, and there was darkness to the right. We heard some people speaking in weird gnomish to the left, followed by some clattering and more chatter. Jak and Gill went to check it out.
Apparently their backs were to Jak and Gill, and Jak decided that instead of asking where we were, he'd knock both of the guards- one human and one gnome- unconscious. And he fucking broke one of their bones. Oskar fixed the broken leg and Jak tied up the guards, then we took them back to the gate room. We heard a whistle and shouting outside the room as other guards likely discovered the two Jak had knocked out were missing.
We revived the gnome first, who- of course- demanded to know who we were and what we were doing here. We tried to ask him where we were, but he would only say we're in the catacombs, cause that's hella helpful. Jak attempted to silence the guard, and Oskar and I then tried to smooth things over with him. It might have worked if Jak hadn't tried bribing him... then the guard started going off about Jak's crimes, and Jak knocked him out again. We're off to a fanfuckingtastic start here.
We woke up the human next, after telling Jak that he was not allowed to speak. It was actually going well, Oskar and I explained that Jak is an ass who doesn't think things through, and apologized for his stupidity. It was going well until Bex decided to help by announcing that he ripped off her face, and held up the tanned, misshapen face she'd kept for some weird ass reason. The poor fucker started screaming again, so Oskar cast a silence spell, then knocked him out with a sleep spell.
After yelling at Bex and Jak and telling them they were both banned from speaking to any other guards or people, we decided that our best course of action was to approach the other guards in the halls. We finally found out from those guards that we're in Lantan, in the catacombs of the city of Dtakkar. Edie had done it! We were under arrest for trespassing and assaulting guards, thanks to Jak. We were led to a jail cell, which Oskar refused to get in at first- until Amara told him to knock it the hell off. They asked for our weapons, and Oskar told them Jak is a weapon, so he was drug off into a separate cell. They took Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles too and put them in a separate cell too.
It felt like we were waiting forever before guards appeared- pretty much all of them gnomes. The captain of the guard, Amelia Tinderflint, and once a zone of truth was active she asked for our names... finding out who Amara truly is. Fuckballs. She told us that we could be tried and charged for our crimes, and Jak would be tried for even more, since he's the one who assaulted the guards and attempted to bribe them, or we could help each other out.
Two tenday ago, Edie and her sister were found in the same hallway we were in, and she was allowed to go into the depths of Lantan. Since Edie went down there they've been having breaches from below. So if we go down there and investigate the depths, and stop whatever is causing the breaches, we'd be free to go. The girls and Gill would be their guests while we were gone, and as long as there was no treachery, or we didn't return after a year and a day, they would be free to go. They'd be safe here, and Amara's identity would not be revealed. I left one of my talkie stones with Amara so they could reach us.
***** Kythorn 10, Dtakkar
In the morning we were led back through the catacombs to the area we'd started in. Turns out, if we'd gone to the right, we would have gotten to where we wanted to be right away. We found a hatch that Jak and Oskar had to open for us, and were greeted to the damp scent of salt water. There was a hella long ladder going down. Since Bumbersnoot couldn't really climb down on his own, and there was no way I'd be able to do it, I shrunk Bumbersnoot and rode down the shaft with Jak. Jak had decided to jump down instead of climbing, and at one point he slipped, and I screamed my head off the rest of the way down. We'd gone 2,000 feet in a single minute, and got to the bottom just before the spell I'd cast on Bumbersnoot ended.
We were in a metal hallway that led into darkness, and as we were getting our bearings, we heard a click- the hatch above us had sealed us in. There was a faint dripping in the distance, and honestly this place was hella eerie. Eventually we came upon another hatch that was slightly ajar, and on the other side of it was a brass balcony, with rails at gnome and human height. I illuminated Bumbersnoot's eyes and we saw a brass spiral staircase, and what looked like it might be a platform. The noises in this room seemed almost hollow, muffled.
At the bottom of the stairs was a breathtaking village. It had pipes running all over the place, and a lot of the designs were water motifs- Quinn would have liked those. This is the city my grandparents always spoke of. It's as beautiful as Edie and I always dreamed it would be!
Jak picked up Edie's tracks quickly, she'd gone to several houses, and left the door open, until we came to one that was still locked. She hadn't gone in. Turns out that was because she'd broken her lockpick. I pulled out the broken piece and picked that lock with ease- I was a bit surprised she'd busted it, since it was hella easy. Maybe her picks were just worn down from all the other houses she'd already broken into.
The house was mostly furnished, but there was nothing sentimental inside. It looked like they had to leave too quickly to take everything, but all of the important things were gone- even the safe was empty, aside from a couple of bottle caps. Jak pulled one out of the safe and flicked it at Bex... hitting her right in the middle of the forehead. It looked like it might be permanent, but she'd been complaining about needing to decorate her face anyways, so I guess that was a start. This probably didn't help her distrust of Jak, since she still thinks he ripped her face off- he may be a dick, but he'd never rip her face off.
We continued on Edie's trail, and eventually passed through another set of doors. There were faint amber lights lining the streets that flickered periodically, probably from not being used for over a century. As we walked down this street we began to hear a faint, repeating, humming sound. We came to a courtyard, with open gates, and a black, shiny wall. Lots of pipes were running into it, and we could just make out a glow inside, but there wasn't a door facing us. As we walked around the building we began hearing a clanking noise, like metal hitting metal. Jak went ahead to check it out, and right around the corner of the building were three enormous crabs that were banging on the wall of the building. Unfortunately they also saw Jak, and one grabbed him with its ridiculously huge claw.
Bumbersnoot grabbed Jak, hoping we could stop it from grabbing him, but we were just pulled along with him. Then another crab grabbed Bumbersnoot, and a third tried to get Dunderbittles, but missed. Oskar chucked his hammer at the one holding Jak, and when his hammer hit it, it sounded metal. I noticed the distinct whirring of gears and realized they weren't giant crabs, they were giant Mechanimals! I need to take them apart and make them mine! Jak began pounding on the crab holding him, and its access hatch popped open, and a swarm of clockwork beetles flew out. This was my chance to hack into its system. I hopped off Bumbersnoot and jumped into the access hatch, and found its power core. Now all I needed to do was disconnect it and I could begin tinkering with it to make it mine.
While Winry was inside the crab, Bumbersnoot attempted to break free of the one holding him, and ended up hurting himself even worse in the process. Then it grabbed Dunderbittles with its other claw and gravely injured the ladybug. The third crab moved on to Bex and snatched her up in its razor-sharp claw. Oskar activated his spirit guardians, killing the crab Winry was inside...
I was just reaching for the core when it literally exploded in my face. Dammit, now I can't make it mine. But there's two others I can give this a shot on- and who knows, maybe the schematics for them are still around here somewhere. I hopped out of the crab to see a very badly injured Bumbersnoot, and a dying Dunderbittles; there were also two swarms of clockwork beetles now. I hurried to Bumbersnoot and healed him, then I shot the crab holding him with my Daring Sir. Now that Dunderbittles was down, the crab went for Jak with its empty claw- I managed to get a shot off with NATAS, but I just barely missed. Now it was Jak and Bumbersnoot being held by one crab, and Bex by the other. Oskar and I were still free though.
After Bex beat on the crab holding her a little more- and it took some punishment from Oskar's spirit guardians- that one exploded. One of the swarms went for Bex, while the other went for Bumbersnoot and I; he was now horribly injured again. Oskar attacked the swarm on us, and revived Dunderbittles. Jak pounded on the crab holding him, while Bumbersnoot and I focused on the swarm. I missed it, but Critical Bumbersnoot finished them off; Oskar's spirit guardians finished the crab off, and poor Bumbersnoot took enough damage from the explosion to drop him. This place is not good for my Mechanimals. Bex finished off the swarm on her, and Oskar killed off the one that had come out of the crab he just killed.
I wish those stupid things wouldn't explode when you kill them, I need to take them apart so I can come up with some new upgrades for Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles. I spent the next several minutes healing Bumbersnoot to get him back in fighting shape again.
We'd thought the crabs were trying to beat down the door, but it turned out it was a completely smooth, perfectly polished, brass wall. It looked brand new. I had a feeling Edie had done it and was holed up inside there. I was going to set up my air forge and melt the wall, but Bex decided to just pound on it instead. Oskar sent his spirit weapon to help her, and it ended up cleaving through Bex and slamming her into the wall- leaving a distinct impression of her face. Eventually she got it open.
Inside this building was another swarm of beetles that was near another perfectly smooth brass wall. There were some amber lights flickering in here, much like the ones in the streets. Jak ran straight in and began beating on the beetles. I followed him and called out for Edie. She just had to be there. Bumbersnoot used his steam breath on the beetles, which seemed to do absolutely nothing to them, and I killed them with NATAS.
There was a set of busted doors opposite the wall we'd just busted through to get in here, and Oskar went through those to explore further into the building. Bex and Jak were right on his heels, and they heard more mechanical noises. I hoped we wouldn't have to blow up all of the Mechanimals we encountered- I needed to take them apart, dammit!
Another crab and swarm approached the others, and Oskar chucked his hammer at the crab just before it grabbed Bex. Before I could jump in to help, another crab came up behind me and grabbed Bumbersnoot. A second one followed and killed poor Dunderbittles again. I definitely need to upgrade her. I was so fucking done with these fucking crabs hurting my babies. I went a little ballistic on them. I used NATAS' semi-auto mode and began shooting the Hells out of the one holding Bumbersnoot. A swarm popped out, and in my anger, I forgot they were immune to fire, so I had Bumbersnoot steam breath them. We managed to deflect the next attacks from the crabs, but the damned swarm hit me and finished off poor Dunderbittles.
Oskar's hammer went whizzing past my head and whacked one of the crabs. I finished off the crab holding Bumbersnoot and shot the other one, Bumbersnoot snapped at it, but his jaws closed on air. We backed down the hall a little bit so we weren't right in their faces, but I couldn't scoop up Dunderbittles off the floor on the way past her. The swarm followed us and hit Oskar, I used a magic shield to prevent it from hitting Bumbersnoot at I. Bumbersnoot bit at the swarm, and Oskar used his spirit weapon on it. I finished the swarm off with NATAS and had Bumbersnoot use his lightning breath on the crab. We heard something fizzle and steam began billowing out- he'd hit the water pipe behind the crab.
Now we had almost no visibility, so we had to get close to it again. Oskar moved up to it first, and I heard him say "oh shit." I followed him, but missed the crab- Bumbersnoot bit it though. It snatched up Oskar, and he cast something that destroyed it. That explosion knocked him out, but I revived him. Jak and Bex were finishing killing the crabs they'd encountered by the time we'd killed those ones.
I mended the pipe we'd busted to get the steam out. Jak and Bex found a couple of pieces of Dunderbittles, but with all those explosions, there wasn't much left of her. I think I can whip something up though with all the spare metals I filled my bags with before we left, and I can use the weird teeny mechanical bugs (nanites) in NATAS to help with it.
We were all badly injured, and pretty much out of magical energy- little red spots had begun slipping into the edge of my vision. We needed to hole up somewhere and rest.
Maps by Wizards of the Coast
After we gathered ourselves up, along with Remington's body, we headed back to our caravan to make sure everything was okay there. We let them know about the others betrayal, and for the most part they seemed to believe us, though one wagon seemed pretty unaccepting of this. Since it was too hard to keep moving in this hella nasty storm, we decided to backtrack an hour and set up camp. We didn't want to set up camp exactly where the traitors had left us, in case they came back.
About an hour before dark we heard horses in the distance, in the direction we're headed. Oskar and Jak went to check it out, and I sent Dunderbittles with them so if they needed help she could alert me. They were a group of gypsies who wanted to share our fire for the night. They were great morale boost, we feasted and they had entertainers. It was hella fun.
Later in the evening, one of the older women offered us each a card reading. Jak went first, and after reading his past and future, his present gave him a choice. He had to choose two of three cards, and one of them would be passed to someone else. He chose Oskar, and whatever the Hells he did, caused Oskar to shrink, he was even smaller than me now! It was hella awesome. Oskar was pissed. He hit Jak right in the nuts with his hammer and totally busted them. It was so fucking funny watching him writhe in pain. Especially since Oskar hit him in the nuts with the hammer again, this time he followed it up with healing. After a bit more laughing, and me loving not being the shortest person in the group for a little bit, the old woman Oskar a tea and he grew back to his normal size.
The card Jak selected for himself made all of our spoiled Stasis Orbs rest. This would have been hella awesome if I hadn't had one that I was on the brink of cracking. He just undid all of my work... having Oskar's hammer bust his nuts was totally deserved.
Bex went next, but nothing hilarious or ridiculous happened from her reading.
I went after that, and was told in my past I'd dished out and taken my share of heavy hits, which was true. In my future I should be wary of those who strike from the shadows. My present was the inverted ghost, and once the card went off, I felt a little more clear headed.
We traded them the experimental kitchen gadgets for some wine, and it took us a little while to find the prices for them... Oskar had said that since he was heading the caravan, he'd take care of the manifest. He fucking lost it. Never trust a dwarf to do a gnome's job. Eventually we got it all squared away, and had a bunch of wine to sell off in Waterdeep.
***** Kythorn 5, Triboar
We arrived in Triboar today, and managed to sell off our ale and cheese. Jak wanted to buy some ponies and leather to sell in Waterdeep, so we ended up with ten ponies at the end of it and a bunch of leather.
Half of the caravan was breaking off here, so we decided to move on on our own. Amara thought it would be best for us to get to Waterdeep and then further south as quickly as possible. We decided to slip out in the night, bribing the guards at the gates to say they'd never seen us pass through. We pushed through the night.
***** Kythorn 9, outside of Waterdeep
We were just a couple of hours outside Waterdeep, so we decided to grab a room on the outskirts of town. Since we had a bunch of stuff to do, that needed to be done as quickly as possible, we decided to split up. Jak and Bex would go sell the last of our trade goods, Oskar would turn in our creatures to Jackass, and I would go look for discreet travel for us. The girls and Gill would stay in the room and out of sight. I gave them one of my Talkie Stones, and gave Jak the other, since he's the fastest.
I was just outside of the transport building when I noticed a flying snake approaching me who looked a little winded. It had a message from my cousin Edie that said "Eureka! I found it!" Included was the schematics to a mechanical hand we created together a few years ago, but when I looked closer at it, there were the sigils for a teleportation circle in it, along with the message "I'm going ahead, I'll contact you in a tenday unless something happens." It was dated two tendays ago, when we were in Mirabar. Fuck. I copied the sigils onto another sheet of paper to see if there was anything that matched them in the building. Everyone told me the sigils appeared to be ancient. I found directions to a discreet circle in Skullport that we could take to get out of here secretly.
When I got back to the room I asked Oskar if he could do a sending for me so I could reach Edie; all I got in response was static. I explained to the others that Edie had probably gone to Lantan, since that's been our dream since we were little, and that since I hadn't heard from her, she may have gotten into trouble in the ancient city. I told them I didn't know what we'd be walking into, and that they didn't have to come with me, but I needed to do this as soon as we got the girls to Calimport.
Amara said that Lantan was not far off from Calimport, and that taking the teleportation circle to Lantan, then going by boat to Calimport would be a great way to throw people off their trails. I was relieved my friends wanted to go with me, I didn't want to walk into the complete unknown alone. Oskar had a way of doing a circle on his own, so he could get us there without handing over these sigils. I didn't want to give them to anyone. We did a quick shopping trip and stocked up on everything we thought we might need, and then we set off for what I hoped was Lantan. I prayed we weren't too late to help Edie.
Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, Sylvia, and I got a bit sick from the travel. When we oriented ourselves, I saw we were in a twenty foot stone room with no exit. All that was in here was the circle. I poked around and found a brick that opened a secret door. Outside was a dimly lit stone hallway, to the left was some light, and there was darkness to the right. We heard some people speaking in weird gnomish to the left, followed by some clattering and more chatter. Jak and Gill went to check it out.
Apparently their backs were to Jak and Gill, and Jak decided that instead of asking where we were, he'd knock both of the guards- one human and one gnome- unconscious. And he fucking broke one of their bones. Oskar fixed the broken leg and Jak tied up the guards, then we took them back to the gate room. We heard a whistle and shouting outside the room as other guards likely discovered the two Jak had knocked out were missing.
We revived the gnome first, who- of course- demanded to know who we were and what we were doing here. We tried to ask him where we were, but he would only say we're in the catacombs, cause that's hella helpful. Jak attempted to silence the guard, and Oskar and I then tried to smooth things over with him. It might have worked if Jak hadn't tried bribing him... then the guard started going off about Jak's crimes, and Jak knocked him out again. We're off to a fanfuckingtastic start here.
We woke up the human next, after telling Jak that he was not allowed to speak. It was actually going well, Oskar and I explained that Jak is an ass who doesn't think things through, and apologized for his stupidity. It was going well until Bex decided to help by announcing that he ripped off her face, and held up the tanned, misshapen face she'd kept for some weird ass reason. The poor fucker started screaming again, so Oskar cast a silence spell, then knocked him out with a sleep spell.
After yelling at Bex and Jak and telling them they were both banned from speaking to any other guards or people, we decided that our best course of action was to approach the other guards in the halls. We finally found out from those guards that we're in Lantan, in the catacombs of the city of Dtakkar. Edie had done it! We were under arrest for trespassing and assaulting guards, thanks to Jak. We were led to a jail cell, which Oskar refused to get in at first- until Amara told him to knock it the hell off. They asked for our weapons, and Oskar told them Jak is a weapon, so he was drug off into a separate cell. They took Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles too and put them in a separate cell too.
It felt like we were waiting forever before guards appeared- pretty much all of them gnomes. The captain of the guard, Amelia Tinderflint, and once a zone of truth was active she asked for our names... finding out who Amara truly is. Fuckballs. She told us that we could be tried and charged for our crimes, and Jak would be tried for even more, since he's the one who assaulted the guards and attempted to bribe them, or we could help each other out.
Two tenday ago, Edie and her sister were found in the same hallway we were in, and she was allowed to go into the depths of Lantan. Since Edie went down there they've been having breaches from below. So if we go down there and investigate the depths, and stop whatever is causing the breaches, we'd be free to go. The girls and Gill would be their guests while we were gone, and as long as there was no treachery, or we didn't return after a year and a day, they would be free to go. They'd be safe here, and Amara's identity would not be revealed. I left one of my talkie stones with Amara so they could reach us.
***** Kythorn 10, Dtakkar
In the morning we were led back through the catacombs to the area we'd started in. Turns out, if we'd gone to the right, we would have gotten to where we wanted to be right away. We found a hatch that Jak and Oskar had to open for us, and were greeted to the damp scent of salt water. There was a hella long ladder going down. Since Bumbersnoot couldn't really climb down on his own, and there was no way I'd be able to do it, I shrunk Bumbersnoot and rode down the shaft with Jak. Jak had decided to jump down instead of climbing, and at one point he slipped, and I screamed my head off the rest of the way down. We'd gone 2,000 feet in a single minute, and got to the bottom just before the spell I'd cast on Bumbersnoot ended.
We were in a metal hallway that led into darkness, and as we were getting our bearings, we heard a click- the hatch above us had sealed us in. There was a faint dripping in the distance, and honestly this place was hella eerie. Eventually we came upon another hatch that was slightly ajar, and on the other side of it was a brass balcony, with rails at gnome and human height. I illuminated Bumbersnoot's eyes and we saw a brass spiral staircase, and what looked like it might be a platform. The noises in this room seemed almost hollow, muffled.
At the bottom of the stairs was a breathtaking village. It had pipes running all over the place, and a lot of the designs were water motifs- Quinn would have liked those. This is the city my grandparents always spoke of. It's as beautiful as Edie and I always dreamed it would be!
Jak picked up Edie's tracks quickly, she'd gone to several houses, and left the door open, until we came to one that was still locked. She hadn't gone in. Turns out that was because she'd broken her lockpick. I pulled out the broken piece and picked that lock with ease- I was a bit surprised she'd busted it, since it was hella easy. Maybe her picks were just worn down from all the other houses she'd already broken into.
The house was mostly furnished, but there was nothing sentimental inside. It looked like they had to leave too quickly to take everything, but all of the important things were gone- even the safe was empty, aside from a couple of bottle caps. Jak pulled one out of the safe and flicked it at Bex... hitting her right in the middle of the forehead. It looked like it might be permanent, but she'd been complaining about needing to decorate her face anyways, so I guess that was a start. This probably didn't help her distrust of Jak, since she still thinks he ripped her face off- he may be a dick, but he'd never rip her face off.
We continued on Edie's trail, and eventually passed through another set of doors. There were faint amber lights lining the streets that flickered periodically, probably from not being used for over a century. As we walked down this street we began to hear a faint, repeating, humming sound. We came to a courtyard, with open gates, and a black, shiny wall. Lots of pipes were running into it, and we could just make out a glow inside, but there wasn't a door facing us. As we walked around the building we began hearing a clanking noise, like metal hitting metal. Jak went ahead to check it out, and right around the corner of the building were three enormous crabs that were banging on the wall of the building. Unfortunately they also saw Jak, and one grabbed him with its ridiculously huge claw.
Bumbersnoot grabbed Jak, hoping we could stop it from grabbing him, but we were just pulled along with him. Then another crab grabbed Bumbersnoot, and a third tried to get Dunderbittles, but missed. Oskar chucked his hammer at the one holding Jak, and when his hammer hit it, it sounded metal. I noticed the distinct whirring of gears and realized they weren't giant crabs, they were giant Mechanimals! I need to take them apart and make them mine! Jak began pounding on the crab holding him, and its access hatch popped open, and a swarm of clockwork beetles flew out. This was my chance to hack into its system. I hopped off Bumbersnoot and jumped into the access hatch, and found its power core. Now all I needed to do was disconnect it and I could begin tinkering with it to make it mine.
While Winry was inside the crab, Bumbersnoot attempted to break free of the one holding him, and ended up hurting himself even worse in the process. Then it grabbed Dunderbittles with its other claw and gravely injured the ladybug. The third crab moved on to Bex and snatched her up in its razor-sharp claw. Oskar activated his spirit guardians, killing the crab Winry was inside...
I was just reaching for the core when it literally exploded in my face. Dammit, now I can't make it mine. But there's two others I can give this a shot on- and who knows, maybe the schematics for them are still around here somewhere. I hopped out of the crab to see a very badly injured Bumbersnoot, and a dying Dunderbittles; there were also two swarms of clockwork beetles now. I hurried to Bumbersnoot and healed him, then I shot the crab holding him with my Daring Sir. Now that Dunderbittles was down, the crab went for Jak with its empty claw- I managed to get a shot off with NATAS, but I just barely missed. Now it was Jak and Bumbersnoot being held by one crab, and Bex by the other. Oskar and I were still free though.
After Bex beat on the crab holding her a little more- and it took some punishment from Oskar's spirit guardians- that one exploded. One of the swarms went for Bex, while the other went for Bumbersnoot and I; he was now horribly injured again. Oskar attacked the swarm on us, and revived Dunderbittles. Jak pounded on the crab holding him, while Bumbersnoot and I focused on the swarm. I missed it, but Critical Bumbersnoot finished them off; Oskar's spirit guardians finished the crab off, and poor Bumbersnoot took enough damage from the explosion to drop him. This place is not good for my Mechanimals. Bex finished off the swarm on her, and Oskar killed off the one that had come out of the crab he just killed.
I wish those stupid things wouldn't explode when you kill them, I need to take them apart so I can come up with some new upgrades for Bumbersnoot and Dunderbittles. I spent the next several minutes healing Bumbersnoot to get him back in fighting shape again.
We'd thought the crabs were trying to beat down the door, but it turned out it was a completely smooth, perfectly polished, brass wall. It looked brand new. I had a feeling Edie had done it and was holed up inside there. I was going to set up my air forge and melt the wall, but Bex decided to just pound on it instead. Oskar sent his spirit weapon to help her, and it ended up cleaving through Bex and slamming her into the wall- leaving a distinct impression of her face. Eventually she got it open.
Inside this building was another swarm of beetles that was near another perfectly smooth brass wall. There were some amber lights flickering in here, much like the ones in the streets. Jak ran straight in and began beating on the beetles. I followed him and called out for Edie. She just had to be there. Bumbersnoot used his steam breath on the beetles, which seemed to do absolutely nothing to them, and I killed them with NATAS.
There was a set of busted doors opposite the wall we'd just busted through to get in here, and Oskar went through those to explore further into the building. Bex and Jak were right on his heels, and they heard more mechanical noises. I hoped we wouldn't have to blow up all of the Mechanimals we encountered- I needed to take them apart, dammit!
Another crab and swarm approached the others, and Oskar chucked his hammer at the crab just before it grabbed Bex. Before I could jump in to help, another crab came up behind me and grabbed Bumbersnoot. A second one followed and killed poor Dunderbittles again. I definitely need to upgrade her. I was so fucking done with these fucking crabs hurting my babies. I went a little ballistic on them. I used NATAS' semi-auto mode and began shooting the Hells out of the one holding Bumbersnoot. A swarm popped out, and in my anger, I forgot they were immune to fire, so I had Bumbersnoot steam breath them. We managed to deflect the next attacks from the crabs, but the damned swarm hit me and finished off poor Dunderbittles.
Oskar's hammer went whizzing past my head and whacked one of the crabs. I finished off the crab holding Bumbersnoot and shot the other one, Bumbersnoot snapped at it, but his jaws closed on air. We backed down the hall a little bit so we weren't right in their faces, but I couldn't scoop up Dunderbittles off the floor on the way past her. The swarm followed us and hit Oskar, I used a magic shield to prevent it from hitting Bumbersnoot at I. Bumbersnoot bit at the swarm, and Oskar used his spirit weapon on it. I finished the swarm off with NATAS and had Bumbersnoot use his lightning breath on the crab. We heard something fizzle and steam began billowing out- he'd hit the water pipe behind the crab.
Now we had almost no visibility, so we had to get close to it again. Oskar moved up to it first, and I heard him say "oh shit." I followed him, but missed the crab- Bumbersnoot bit it though. It snatched up Oskar, and he cast something that destroyed it. That explosion knocked him out, but I revived him. Jak and Bex were finishing killing the crabs they'd encountered by the time we'd killed those ones.
I mended the pipe we'd busted to get the steam out. Jak and Bex found a couple of pieces of Dunderbittles, but with all those explosions, there wasn't much left of her. I think I can whip something up though with all the spare metals I filled my bags with before we left, and I can use the weird teeny mechanical bugs (nanites) in NATAS to help with it.
We were all badly injured, and pretty much out of magical energy- little red spots had begun slipping into the edge of my vision. We needed to hole up somewhere and rest.
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