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Monday, August 27, 2018

The Ravenloft Chronicles- Shit Storm: Book One, Chapter Six

Here There Be Dragons

Dramatis Personae:
Kithri "Quickshadow" Tealeaf, the Lightfoot Halfling Werebat Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter and Ruin Raider
Tilea Aervavil'A'Sum, the Wild Elf Circle of the Moon Druid Barbarian
Scritch, Tilea's Squirrel Animal Companion
Sachi Kno, the Vistani Weremonkey Thief
Forgrotken Anvilrocker, the Blugrim Forge Cleric of Moradin
Belmont Von Richter, the mysterious Human who tends to show up just in the nick of time
Lythana, the Human Werewolf Order of the Ghost Slayer Blood Hunter
Tabitha Marie Lennox, the Human White Witch of Mystra
Nikko, Tabitha's Flying Monkey familiar

Comrades we have lost:
Pineck, Anvil's Horse- turned into soup by a cursed crate

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Kithri's perspective, switching later to Tabitha's, anything in italics is from a third party view, since they can't be everywhere at once. 

***** Hetedik Honap 9, CY 735, Krezk

       I spent a lovely morning in my private rooms, searching through Lythana's books for something- anything- that would help lift my curse. I eventually came upon some sort of ritual, but there weren't enough details for me to go on.

       My studies were interrupted around noon, when we were taken to the Abbey of Saint Markovia. The bloody door wouldn't open until everyone had arrived, which was just damned annoying, but once we were all there it opened on its own. Inside were several elders with the church, along with Belmont and Lythana. Belmont told us we could speak freely in here, so Sachi immediately began singing "consecrate" and Anvil asked for a consecrated weapon- again.

       Once they were done being stupid, Belmont told us that since we kept kicking the bloody hornet's nest, they were going to have to induct us into the Resistance against Strahd. Anvil said Strahd looked squishy and easy to hurt, so Belmont challenged him to give him a mere taste of what we're up against. He brought Anvil to his knees instantly. Belmont said that being in the Resistance meant we had to have synergy and be equal in power, so Sachi challenged him to a fucking race... I hate these arseholes sometimes. Okay, fine, most of the time.

      Sachi was indeed faster than Belmont, no surprise there, but Belmont was able to grab him anyway. As Belmont's arm swung back to punch the monkey, Tilea grabbed his arm with a vine whip. Belmont proceeded to grab Tilea with his own whip and slam her into Sachi. For a moment, it looked like Sachi would just stop, he even said he'd learned his lesson, but then the idiot attacked Belmont again. Belmont snared him in his whip, but fumbled a little, allowing Sachi to break free. Tilea shifted into an enormous beetle of some kind... Then Anvil dumped water on the three of them and told them to cool it.

       Belmont's eyes flashed for a moment, and he yelled "the darkness will never stop, and neither will I!" Then he threw Anvil into Tilea. I didn't feel a need to get involved in this, it wasn't a required test or anything, so I drank tea and watched them get their arses handed to them. Belmont did something to Anvil and Sachi that made them confused, then he did some sort of mass attack against all of us- hurting me badly.

       Eventually we were done with this nonsense and we moved on to the initiations. Tilea went first, and was stabbed in both palms, then she made an oath that she would not leave Barovia until Strahd was killed. Sachi and Anvil did the same, but then we got to me. I told Belmont I could not make this oath, because if I found a way to go home I was taking it, period. My oath was if they helped me go home, I would become the Archivist for the Resistance; something I would love to do, and it allowed me to make an oath I knew I'd keep.

       After our initiation, Belmont told us that the Sun Sword- the original one- was hidden somewhere in Barovia, and there was a scroll that had more information on it, but it was currently in Strahd's possession. The Resistance wanted us to search the Village for it, we said we'd leave first thing in the morning.

***** Hetedik Honap 10, Krezk

       We met up just before dawn and started our trek back to the Village of Barovia. After a couple hours, we came across a group of Vistani who had a flask that Anvil insisted was magic. They tossed it to me to identify, but it was a shitty throw, and the flask hit the ground, its contents spilling out. Sachi snatched it up and began chugging; the bloody thing was cursed, of course.

       A little later, Lythana, Anvil, and Tilea said they thought something was watching us. Then Til said something was wrong with Syn, that the amulet didn't seem to be working and she wasn't responding. I realized the flow of magic was wonky and it was coming from the bad ring of mind shielding that had temporarily booted Syn out of the amulet. To make things even stranger, Sachi began vomiting shit... We stuck the ring in a bag of holding, but it didn't fix the issue. Anvil tried to remove the curse, but instead he began puking shit too. Sachi had taken the empty bag of holding and was puking into it instead. These boys are so bloody disgusting sometimes. Tilea destroyed the ring, and the spirit within it escaped; we don't know where the Hells it went, but after an hour the boys were able to speak again.

       It still felt like something was watching us; almost as if the sky itself was watching us. It was bloody creepy.

       Around noon the others watched to stop in Vallaki for lunch, which was a bad idea, but we were able to get in with no issue, which worried me. Lythana took us to a seedy looking bar where she said we'd be safe enough to rest for a meal. Sachi wanted to set a trap for the Guard Captain, just to fuck with him, which I thought was a fucking stupid idea, but the monkey ignored me. While the rest of us ate, Sachi went shopping, and apparently fucked an old lady for a discount. That monkey is fucking weird.

       When we were done, Sachi and Lythana set up a trap with the shit filled bag of holding for the Captain, while Tilea, Anvil, and I went back to the city gate to wait for them. Not long after we got to the gate, we heard a bell clanging and saw Lythana running toward us. She stopped and began beating on the guards until the Captain showed up... Sachi dumped that entire bag of holding right on top of the poor bastard, and it went right in the bloke's mouth this time. It was fucking hilarious, and disgusting.

       Once they were done with that shit, we continued on our way, and eventually it was time to make camp. We spent a bloody ridiculous amount of time arguing over where we should camp for the night, it was a stupid and pointless argument, but that seems to be the theme with these arseholes.

***** Hetedik Honap 11, Svalich Woods

       Anvil and Tilea really wanted to go to the Old Bonegrinder in the morning. Apparently they ground up the bones of children and cooked them into little cake. I didn't think we were properly equipped to take on a bunch of baby cooking hags at the moment, but the others insisted, so I reluctantly agreed to go with them.

       On our way we came across a Vistani merchant caravan, where we bought 50 pounds of salt and 50 gallons of holy water. I didn't think that would help us much, but whatever.

       There was a huge line at the Bonegrinder of people waiting for their Dream Cakes, so Tilea wanted to make it look like a delivery. The problem was they were fucking stupid, and people in line started accusing us of cutting. I just... I couldn't take anymore of this stupidity. I blew up at those idiots and went to see Belmont about getting home.

***** Tabitha

       I was in the line at the Old Bonegrinder to get my Dream Cakes, when I saw Lythana and a few buffoons walking up the line with what looked like ingredients. As I prepared to call out to my dear friend, the halfling with her started yelling and stormed off. I had Nikko hold my place in line while I went to see what Lythana was up to; she's much more intelligent than that. She told me these people were the Saviors of Barovia, which was honestly a little hard to believe, but I believed her. I called Nikko over to me, I had much to catch up on with my friend, so I wouldn't be getting my Dream Cakes today.

       When we arrived at the gates to the Village of Barovia, the Wives of Talmot were waiting for us. Of course they attacked instantly, and after a few moments, a woman appeared who looked like Agatha, my evil twin, if Aggie had our natural hair and eye colors; but her pact turned her hair as dark as her soul. This woman, Not-Agatha, attacked Tilea. I shot a witch bolt at Not-Agatha, and Tilea shifted into something weird and began beating on her. After exchanging blows a bit more, Sarah did something to try to drop Tilea out of her beast form, but Tilea reflected it back at her, and she turned into a fucking black dragon! This was not good...

       Not-Agatha shot something at Tilea, which she reflected back, and then Not-Agatha reflected it back, then Tilea reflected it back, and Not-Agatha returned it again. As Tilea reflected it back yet again, I called out a blessing to her to aid her in this strike. It didn't hit Not-Agatha, but it didn't bounce back again. Clarah went for Tilea next, but she couldn't land a blow. Apparently Tilea was the primary target for them, probably because of her druidic power. Lythana screamed "run" and charged Sarah.

       I swooped down on my broom and healed Tilea, then swooped back into the air to keep an eye on the others and get them out alive. Tarah shot at Anvil, and Tilea summoned a swarm of wharflings to attack her; then she went after Sachi and Scritch. Sachi ran into the Village screaming "dragon," panicking the villagers. Lythana was parrying Sarah's attacks with ease, and I hoped she'd be able to hold out until we could grab her.

       Farrah grabbed Anvil with her whip, then Not-Agatha shot something at him and vanished. Clarah joined in the assault on him. He managed to hit Clarah hard and tangled the two of them in Farrah's whip. I polymorphed him into a giant eagle so he could fly over the wall, but he paused to give Lythana a boon, and didn't make it to the wall quickly enough. Tarah, Farrah, and Clarah all went at him, killing him quickly.

       Lythana was bound up by Sarah, and I tried to open a dimensional door under her to get her, but Not-Agatha countered my magic twice, and I did not have enough magical energy to try a third time. I had to save my friend somehow.



All maps from the "Curse of Strahd" Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

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