Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Ten

Gracklstugh, the City of Blades Part 4:
The Whorlstone Tunnels: The Murder Room and the Gray Ghost Garden

Dramatis Personae:

Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress who injures the party almost as much as the enemies (the blue one)

Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor who thinks he's a myconid (the foolish one)

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon (the fuzzy one)

Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee who has another presence in her head
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto (the red one)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout and slave of the duergar
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Gunslinger (the mouthy one)

Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins (the matching ones)

Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter and Orvald's wife

Stool, the Myconid Child

Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube
Ol' Sparky, the "blind" Derro Beggar with a magic cane (master)
Codsworth, the polite Flumph
Rumpadump, the Myconid Child

Contacts in Gracklstugh:

Ylsa Henstak, duergar merchant

Errde Blackskull, the captain of the Stone Guard

Gartokkar Xundorn, the leader of the Keepers of the Flame

Themberchaud the Wyrmsmith, the adult red dragon who keeps the forges burning
Pelek, the svirfneblin ghost

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian who can't take anything seriously- turned into dog food

Quests in Gracklstugh:
Find out how the derro are getting surface coin and jewelry for Ylsa in exchange for directions to Blingdenstone.
Meet with Errde as soon as business with the Keepers of the Flame is concluded.
Comply with whatever the Keepers of the Flame ask, but report everything to Themberchaud first.
Find the Gray Ghosts, confirm their involvement in the disturbance, and bring their magic to Gartokkar.
Find Pelek's hand and lay it to rest in Blingdenstone.

Friendly fire overall: 59
Friendly fire dealt by Aura: 21
Party members killed: 10
Overall party members lost: 12

Derro killed: 50

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Lythana's perspective, switching to Kyri's later, anything with italics is from a third party, since they can't be everywhere at once.
Kyri doesn't refer to many people by their names, but instead gives them designations. The terms in parenthesis next to the character's names are what the minotaur calls them. She also doesn't understand gender, frequently getting the pronouns backwards, and calling people "it."

***** Kythorn 12, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       Zenit threw a globe of darkness over Orvald to shield him until she could hack her way through the dretches to get to him. 

       Aura managed to get the rope to Fidget in the pit, without it hitting the walls and dissolving, but the genasi jerked the rope instead of pulling, and the mad gnome swung wildly, clinging for dear life. As I writhed with pleasure over the acid searing away my flesh, I suddenly felt the wondrous pleasure of fire, which just added to my euphoria. Fidget decided to use fire to remove the acid from himself and Lythana, hitting both, Aura, and Sparky. Both Fidget and Lythana fell unconscious from the flames, and began to bleed to death. Zarrus revived Lythana, while Elle dealt with the insane gnome.

       I came to in the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced, completely nude, and lying on a cold stone floor, with a lecherous Zarrus looming over me. Just breathing hurt, and I still wasn't regenerating; apparently my healing powers from the troll were only temporary. I was too injured to move, even though I knew they needed my help; the thought of moving made me want to vomit. Suddenly we were enshrouded in completely darkness, which totally helped what sounded like a difficult battle.

       Orvald was gravely wounded, and ran back in the direction of the party for backup. The mousefolk didn't think of the globe of darkness his wife had placed on top of him, which followed him back to the party. As the darkness hit us Sparky yelled out "I'm blind!" The dolt forgot he was already pretending to be blind, jackass. Sparky healed the barbarian, and Orvald charged right back toward the enemies- still enshrouded in darkness. The derro turned to attack the enemies, but since he legitimately couldn't see, he accidentally hit Aura and Fidget. 

       Elle cast a daylight spell to chase out the darkness and allow everyone to see the battle. Just as I had adjusted to being a sitting duck in darkness, a blinding light appeared. I couldn't see- again- but this time I was blinded by the light.

       Orvald was completely surrounded by enemies when he was hit with an attack that paralyzed him. Zenit ran after him, but fell in the acid pit instead. Sparky waved his magic cane and dispelled the daylight, making everyone's eyes have to readjust to the natural darkness. Elle cast a bolt of fire at the ettin, badly injuring it, and Orvald's natural stamina pushed the paralysis out in time for him to  slash the ettin with his bastard sword, killing the beast. The fight was far from over, there were still derro and dretches to slay.

       One of the derro began pelting Zenit with rocks, while another cast a hex at Orvald, and a third targeted Codsworth with his crossbow. The moment the bolt penetrated the flumph, he exploded, and entrails flew everywhere. Sparky magically hurled a rock at one of the attackers, and it flew into the pit, landing on top of Zenit- dead before it hit the drow. One of his comrades followed the corpse of his friend into the pit and began attacking Zenit. A quasit came out of nowhere and whacked the badly wounded Orvald, he died; the death dog who had ripped Pwent to pieces used the mousefolk's corpse as a chew toy. 

       Sparky suddenly announced that we needed a moment of silence, and then I could not hear anything. Being blind and burned was bad enough, but adding deaf to the mix was just fucking wonderful. Zenit levitated out of the pit she had been trapped in, and dropped a globe of darkness over Orvald's dead body. She quietly took his corpse and left the party to their fate.

       Fidget received a nasty bite from a death dog, and his flesh instantly began to rot. Aura killed the dog, while standing in Zenit's darkness, on top of Fidget's prone form- and she didn't injure him in the process. Something in the darkness struck Aura and the sorceress fell unconscious and began bleeding out. Sparky attempted to heal the genasi, but instead his cane decided to cast feather fall; fortunately for Aura, Fidget was able to get a healing potion down her throat. 

       Elle had restored my sight and spent the last several seconds casting healing spells on me. My healing factor began kicking in once she got it going, I'm not sure why it glitched in that acid pit. Sparky dispelled the ball of darkness that was sitting on the mouth of the tunnel to reveal a derro running away. There was blood and gore everywhere, and everyone had sustained nasty injuries. Orvald was nowhere to be seen, and Pwent's mad giggling screams had been silenced several seconds ago- since they weren't followed by his grunts of rage, it was safe to assume he wasn't getting back up anytime soon.

       As I watched, Aura turned into a goblin, and a fireball bloomed atop her and Fidget- when it cleared they were both down. Elle had given me a mace and told me to be careful, but I couldn't just stand here while my comrades were being slaughtered. Yes, I was completely nude, but that was how the Dark Maiden intended her followers to hunt- I turned and chased the derro. As I reached the mouth of the tunnel searing hot pain ran through my body. A voice rang out "Demogorgon, I sacrifice to you!" Lythana was dead, and Elle couldn't raise her, Lythana's soul was gone. Elle went mad at the loss of her Sister, completely withdrawing into herself. She had told Lythana to stay safe for a reason, but the half-drow had always been stubborn, and that stubbornness had just killed her.

       Topsy and Turvy killed the derro who sacrificed Lythana, and helped killed Pwent and Orvald. Once the twins gave the all clear, Fidget went in to inspect the murder room, and was hit by a wave that gave him vivid hallucinations for the next four days. The mushgnome saw imaginary mushrooms that were trying to get him to eat them- they covered everyone and everything he looked at.

       "The smell of brimstone and foul chemicals emanated from this large chamber. The light of campfires showed a natural platform... A green glows rose from a magic circle at the center of the platform, where a small humanoid statue"* sat in the center. The statue was about two feet tall, and looked vaguely like a crouching stone giant with two heads. It was engraved with profane symbols, and in dwarvish was the name "Dorhun." The symbols were related to Demogorgon.   

       A cage sat open near the tunnel, and inside was the gory remains of Pwent- only recognizable by the armor. There was fungus all over the chamber, on the floors and walls. Two thick mushroom patches sat on either side of the mouth of the tunnel. On the platform was another similar statue, with the name "Rihuud" on it, which turned to dust when touched.

       Aura and Zarrus debated how to deactivate the circle, but neither could come up with a method. After searching the room, and seeing no further routes for enemies, the few remaining members of the party decided to spend the night in the cavern- they were too exhausted to figure out how to get back to Ghohlbrorn's Lair.

***** Kythorn 13

       The next morning, Fidget woke up itchy, insisting he had "shroom-mites." After taking stock of their supplies, and the sad state of one another, the party decided they would attempt to retrace their steps and return to the city to restock their supplies. Elle didn't care, about the supplies, the missions, any of it. She just wanted her Sister back.

       As the party began to leave the murder room, they heard muttering coming from the next room. In it was a lone derro, who they killed instantly. 

***** Kyri

       My masters, the Gray Ghosts, told me to take their new slave to harvest mushrooms. That one was mouthy, and as their head slave, I was to watch it and make it couldn't escape. It kept talking to me, and was quite frustrating, since I wasn't allowed to eat the flesh of another slave without permission. The mouthy one claimed it saw a drow eat a mushroom and grow, which was a stupid attempt at distracting me. I would only split my attention for a drow if it attacked me, and only long enough to hurt it enough to bring it back to the masters.

       Thecker snuck a couple of bigwigs- mushrooms that make someone grow- and pygmyworts- the mushrooms that make someone shrink- into her pocket, escaping Kyri's notice, since she was supposed to be gathering mushrooms anyway. 

       The mouthy one punched me in the crotch, apparently it thought I was the type that had tender bits there. I grabbed it by its collar and shook it, warning it to behave or I'd eat it. After I put it back down, it suddenly shrunk and took off running. I ate one of the shrinking mushrooms and gave chase. It would pay dearly for this, I would take a finger as a snack while dragging it back to the masters.

       Thecker stumbled into a "cavern [that was] one enormous pit that reeked of death and decomposed flesh. The glow of faerzress is everywhere, seeming to flow like fog around dark shapes shambling across the pit floor. A single derro watched from atop a fifteen foot ledge. A crack in the southeast wall of the pit [where Thecker and Kyri enter the cavern]leads to a narrow tunnel and is flanked by mounds of fungi and offal."* The crack had a foot of foul water lapping into it, which the svirfneblin was cautious not to swallow There were corpses and body parts strewn throughout the pit, along with three duergar zombies and four grimlock zombies. Thecker ran into a crawling claw that had an obsidian ring on one finger- Pelek's hand- and it attacked her. She grabbed the ring and ripped it off the finger- killing the claw; sadly for Pelek, Thecker didn't know about his request to lay his hand to rest in Blingdenstone, so she left it where it dropped and kept moving.

       I followed it through a small crack into a cavern of nasty water. It was easy enough for me to tackle and grab the mouthy one- even shrunk I was still much bigger than it. As I moved to restrain the mouthy one, it threw something into my mouth, and I grew- filling the cramped tunnel; it took advantage of me being stuck and ran off again. I ate another shrinking mushroom, and gave chase- it would not get away from me.

       Thecker reached to murder room, which the party had already vacated, and kept moving. I knew I was close behind it, when I entered a tunnel full of the icky yellow powder that makes me sick. Of course I kept pursuing it, I knew what would happen if I returned to the masters alone. Thecker doubled back in an attempt to throw Kyri off. I moved through a tunnel with the plan to cut it off- with the way it had been moving, I knew it had to run into me. Thecker's path took her right to the party, with Kyri on her heels.

       The party heard commotion coming from the tunnel up ahead, as Thecker rounded a corner and ran behind them, Kyri hot on her tail. I saw a group of other things as the mouthy one skidded to a stop to avoid colliding with them. I told them that if they gave it to me we'd have no trouble, then one of them- the type like the smelly things that inhabit the tunnels (Sparky) walked up to me and put both hands on my face; it told me we were friends. I'd never had friends before, but the idea seemed nice. Sparky had used a mind domination to make Kyri think that she was friends with the rest of the group- also including what friendship was. It asked what we were doing down here, and I told it our masters, the Gray Ghosts, had sent me to guard the mouthy one while it gathered mushrooms; it told me that I needed to take them to my master's place- but that wasn't allowed.

       The one they call Fidget called me a demon and a mooshroom, whatever that means; that one calls itself a mushroom too, I think it is a fool. Fidget's hallucinations made Kyri appear to have flames coming from her nostrils, be red and demonic looking, and have mushrooms sprouting from her. 

       The one called Sparky told me it was my master now, and ordered me to bring them to my old masters. Of course I complied and took them to their hideout. On the way a swarm of bugs attacked me, it stung a little bit, but the warmth that followed- a healing spell from Elle- negated that. We smashed the bugs quickly before continuing on our way.

       When we arrived at the large double doors they asked how I normally came in, which was by knocking. They didn't want to knock, and instead the mouthy one picked the lock on the door. Once the door was open, master ordered me to go kill my former masters so I headed in. None of my old masters were in sight, which was odd, there was normally at least a couple of people in there.

       I felt a burst of heat and felt my fur being scorched by flames, then I felt only darkness. Kyri, Fidget, and Zarrus had been struck by a fireball. Several duergar appeared, grew larger, and began to attack the group. Sparky announced "you're all going to die," and vanished. I came to a few seconds later, with a weird taste in my mouth and it felt like something was stuck in the back of my throat. Following my new master's orders, I stood up and smashed one of my former masters. The fuzzy one moved toward the blue one to help him, and bubbles of acid appeared- this day was so strange.

       Thecker had moved further into the chamber, and found a chest that she believed contained her things; unable to pick the lock, the gnome instead killed one of the Ghosts with a shovel. I heard yelling coming from the foolish one's weapon, it was calling her an idiot for missing its attack. Sparky's cane had cast magic mouth on Fidget's weapon, the inventor now had a weapon that would always heckle him. The beggar then cast a shadow devil version of Thecker. I saw the foolish one fall after its weapon cursed at it, and then the blue one sent a loud booming wave to push some of my former masters away from it- hurting myself and the fuzzy one too, I thought master had said friends don't hurt each other, but I may have misunderstood.

       I whirled and killed the last of my former masters, while the fuzzy one revived the foolish one. I believed the fight won until master announced there was one more we couldn't see; my former masters did like turning invisible. As he said that, an explosion erupted around the foolish one- the duergar had dropped a bomb on him. The blue one said it went toward the exit, but I couldn't find it- I can't see invisible things.

       After the battle ended, Sparky's domination spell wore off. He explained to the minotaur that she was there friend, and she became convinced that Sparky was her new master. 

       They looked around the lair of my former masters, while I ate some of the tasty meats- my new master said I could. "The area was surprisingly clean and orderly, split into two levels connected by a ramp made from zurkhwood planks. The upper level contained a fully furnished laboratory, while the lower level had two bunk beds." * The lab contained "a work table, a desk, a case of shelves lined with vials, and a dome-shaped oven. All furnishings were made of zurkhwood except the oven, which is made of stone.

       In addition to the bunk beds in the lower level, were two zurkhwood chests, one of which contained Thecker's gear. There is a door in this room that is barred on the other side, all that lies beyond it is a sixty foot iron ladder leading to a trapdoor. 

       Fidget found some recipes in the lab, and asked Sparky to teach him how to make them, since he couldn't read dwarvish on his own. Instead Sparky accidentally cast a spell that placed a spiritual burden on the inventor, making him move slower, and slowing his reactions for anything that required physical effort. 

       They decided to head to Ghohlbrorn's Lair to rest for the night, and master got a room there for us. Before we left, they locked the door to my former master's lab from the inside- an attempt to lock them out.

       Before retiring for the night, the fuzzy one and the blue one made me take a bath- apparently you sit in a tub of water and rub odd smelling stuff on your fur to "clean" it. I don't know why they thought it needed cleaning- I thought cleaning was killing things to take their stuff. It was so traumatic I began laughing madly for no reason. Then the blue one took something called a brush and ran it through my mane, the thing kept causing my head to jerk, and it stung a bit. While he did that, the fuzzy one opened my mouth and used another thing called a brush- that looked nothing like the one the blue one had in my hair- and began rubbing it on my teeth. It even removed the finger I had wedged in the back of my mouth for a snack later! She wouldn't even let me eat it now! This was horrible! There was no blood on me, my breath tasted minty, and my mane was pulled back and smooth! I hope I never have to repeat this process, I don't like sitting is water and having smelly things put on me- I smell terrible now! They said it smelled like flowers, which are apparently the most vile smelling thing on Faerûn! 

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.

Tales from Toril- The Underdark Escapees: Book One, Chapter Nine

Gracklstugh, the City of Blades Part 3:
The Whorlstone Tunnels: Mushroom Forests and Dreadful Dretches

Dramatis Personae:

Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress who injures the party almost as much as the enemies

Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian

Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor who thinks he's a myconid

Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon

Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee who has another presence in her head
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto

Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins

Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter and Orvald's wife

Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian who can't take anything seriously

Stool, the Myconid Child

Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube
Ol' Sparky, the "blind" Derro Beggar with a magic cane
Codsworth, the polite Flumph
Rumpadump, the Myconid Child

Contacts in Gracklstugh:

Ylsa Henstak, duergar merchant

Errde Blackskull, the captain of the Stone Guard

Gartokkar Xundorn, the leader of the Keepers of the Flame

Themberchaud the Wyrmsmith, the adult red dragon who keeps the forges burning

Comrades we have lost:

Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent

Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald

Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape

Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away

Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding

Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned

Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care

Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell

Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll

Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll

Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh

Quests in Gracklstugh:
Find out how the derro are getting surface coin and jewelry for Ylsa in exchange for directions to Blingdenstone.
Meet with Errde as soon as business with the Keepers of the Flame is concluded.
Comply with whatever the Keepers of the Flame ask, but report everything to Themberchaud first.
Find the Gray Ghosts, confirm their involvement in the disturbance, and bring their magic to Gartokkar.
Find Pelek's hand and lay it to rest in Blingdenstone.

Friendly fire overall: 50
Friendly fire dealt by Aura: 18
Party members killed: 9
Overall party members lost: 11

Derro killed: 43

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Lythana's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the hunter can't be everywhere at once.

***** Kythorn 11, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)

       After being transported by the myconid sprouts into a different mushroom patch, Fidget snapped and became convinced he was a mushroom. With that thought in mind, the mushgnome attempted to teleport back to the party, but the spores that allowed him to originally do so had faded, so it didn't work. But, because Fidget thought he was a myconid, he cut his way inside the large fungus before him, and stood in the middle of it, waiting to be transported back. After a moment, he pushed his way out the other side of the mushroom, and thought the teleportation had worked- he went looking for the party.

       Zarrus began looking for that fucking svirfneblin, and said he found traces of abyssal magic in the grove- which told us absolutely nothing. Rumpadump, being very shy and introverted, had Stool relay everything to us, instead of telling us directly. Stool told us that the other myconids had shared some bad spores with some others from Neverlight Grove. After they had shared the spores, they began acting weird, dancing and spinning as if they were intoxicated. He said the dancing was called the Lady's Gift, and it came from the Lady's Dream. The Lady was a goddess or something that loved and cared for all myconids. I'd never heard of myconids having gods before, and our sprout companions seemed equally confused. Rumpadump asked if he could join us, and of course we said yes; he's Stool's friend, and even if he hadn't been, we couldn't leave a helpless child to fend for himself in the midst of the weirdness happening in the city.

       We decided to leave and not wait for Fidget, who knows where that svirfneblin ended up after vanishing in the mushroom patch.

       After a few minutes, "a dense fungi forest blocked our way, its tallest specimens growing some five feet high. Even as we assessed the best way to pass through it, a hissing sound started to rise- like uncounted tiny voices whispering in tongues I didn't understand."* Orvald decided the best course of action would be to just start hacking away at the stalks to clear us a path. It was the best- and only- idea we had to cross, so we went with it.

       Fidget, walking through fungi forest, stepped on a mushroom that gave with a crunchy feeling, instead of the softness the rest of the ground had. Before the svirfneblin could react, a swarm of centipedes burst from the mushrooms, and began attacking him. Fidget began screaming as the centipedes bit into his flesh, and fell unconscious from blood loss. The bleeding confused him, since myconids don't bleed. 

       We heard a scream of pain and terror from somewhere within the thicket, and since it sounded like it might be Fidget, we hurried that direction. Orvald had found a ring that allowed him to jump great distances, so he scurried up the nearest mushroom, hopped on the caps of some, and landed right next to the dying gnome. He grabbed a nearby torchstalk and used it as a club to beat the centipedes- hurting Fidget in the process. The bugs responded to the mousefolk's assault by swarming onto him... he set himself on fire. 

       Aura arrived a little ahead of the party to see the mouse ablaze, and the bleeding to death gnome, just as a swarm of spiders dropped onto them from above- hitting all three companions. The genasi fell unconscious and began bleeding to death, and the moment she was down, the spiders began spinning her into a web. Sparky arrived and tapped the web Aura was being encased in with his cane... it did nothing to the webs, but suddenly Orvald's dagger began to melt. The mouse stood there frozen in shock as his blade warped. 

       The fucking spiders had managed to completely wrap Aura in their web, and began hauling her away, as more centipedes swarmed Orvald. I finally reached the others, I fucking hate being so godsdamned slow, and saw a scene that was equally weird and gruesome. Orvald's dagger was turning into a bastard sword, while he was being attacked by centipedes, and the spider kisser was sawing someone out of a spider web cocoon- I think it was the airhead. The trauma of watching his precious dagger turn into a huge sword made Orvald's mind crack, and for the next two hours, the mousefolk was overly paranoid. 

       A burst of light came from Sparky's cane, headed for the spider kisser and Aura, and a glass cube surrounded them- which fucking landed on top of me, pinning me to the ground. Orvald set himself on fire to scorch the bugs that were skittering all over him, taking small bites of his flesh; Pwent hurried to help put the fire out. If being pinned under a glass cube while my friends were being eaten by bugs wasn't enough- a group of spiders dropped on top of me. Sparky moved the stupid cube off of me with some magic, and then Orvald decided to FUCKING SET ME ON FIRE! What the fuck is wrong with this fucking mouse?!? Elle rushed to my side to help with the damned bugs, and I was able to smash several myself with- the fuckers were gone in short work, and I felt a little satisfied at killing so many spiders in front of Zenit- that's a mortal sin, literally, to Lolthites.

       With the bugs gone, Orvald began striking the cube Aura and Zenit were trapped in, shattering the damned thing quickly. Elle hurriedly helped stabilize and revive both Aura and Fidget. Fidget, convinced he needed to release rapport spores in order to communicate with the party, released them the only way he knew how- by farting. As soon as Elle healed the svirfneblin, he let out such a nasty fart that Elle puked all over him- it was really funny. Pwent doubled over, laughing his ass off- but he'd been laughing through the entire fucking battle.

       We decided to head in the direction that Fidget had come from, and the gnome decided to teleport through a mushroom... Apparently he thinks he's a myconid now, much to Stool and Rumpadump's chagrin. Orvald cut down the mushroom that had Fidget's "portal" in it, and they began arguing over whether or not Fidget was a mushroom. I don't know what happened when he vanished from the patch in the last cavern, but apparently it scrambled his brains good- or the bad spores hit him really hard. Eventually the svirfneblin decided that his portal was still there, even though the mushroom it contained was gone. He turned and tripped going through nothing... Wow...

       At that point, Orvald had lost his patience with the mushgnome, and punched him, hoping to knock the jackass out. Sparky used an illusion to make it look like Fidget's portal was really there, and just to shut the asshole up, we all walked through the non-existent portal. It moved us a whole five feet, great portal, jackass.

       Eventually we left that stupid forest and came into a new stone passageway. Orvald said he had come that way when he explored during our rest earlier, so we decided to head in the opposite direction. We came to a crossroad, and the mouse announced that someone was trying to get into his brain- I think they've all gone fucking mad. Codsworth announced to us that there was a gray ooze nearby, and pointed it out- Orvald found the damned thing and hacked at it. As I moved forward to attack it, Codsworth told us it was dead. Fucking mouse is always beating me to the kill.

       As we continued north, the tunnel began to bottle-neck us up ahead, with a faint flickering of light just inside. "The first thing we noticed as we entered the room was a heavy, unpleasant musk in the air, coming from cages assembled from scrap iron on both sides of the chamber. A spiral path circles into the center of the room, marked off by small stone pylons.

       "Two derro stood by a large cauldron in front of a tent near the cave's center. Both are talking while apparently ignoring each other. In the cages, three hulking brown bears appeared to be resting."* Orvald told us that one of the derro was complaining about "master," and the other one was rambling on about the fishing he had done last tenday- only he and Pwent spoke the language, and Pwent was too busy trying to contain his giggles to tell us. The derro spotted Orvald and the spider kisser and began frantically letting the bears out of their cages. As the first two bears were freed, the third broke out of its cage on its own and pounced at Orvald. Before the beast could even touch him, Orvald killed it. The next bear slashed at Orvald, either out of convenience or retaliation for slaying its kin, who knows with these things.

       Light flashed from Sparky's cane and one of the bears muscles went completely slack, and its fur turned brittle and gray. He had hit the bear with a ray of enfeeblement. Elle killed the remaining bear that was capable of fighting, and Orvald ignored the weakened bear and instead killed one of its keepers. Aura launched an ice knife at them, and hit Orvald instead, then released a string of insults at him, that somehow mortally wounded the mouse. Fucking stupid genasi. I killed off the enfeebled bear while Elle hurried to revive Orvald. The last derro made a run for it, and we heard it open a door. Our mouse was up and on it before it could flee.

       The area was a nice little campsite, and there was pretty decent stout in the tent- even Pwent approved of the ale. We found a bucket that was full of something that smelled like food, which Orvald tried, of course. The twins suggested we put the remains of the bears in the middle of the spiral, but Elle explained that we shouldn't because it could set off the magic that was happening in it. Of course they ignored her warning and did it anyways- nothing happened.

       While everyone was dealing with the bears, Zarrus went into the tent to pray, and a blue imp appeared before him. The tiefling was handed a scroll and told to be careful. 

       Since the only other way to go in this room was through the doorway and hall the derro tried to escape through, we decided to see what was there. After a while, we came to a Y in the passage, with the northern route blocked by a stone door we couldn't figure out how to open- there wasn't a knob or anything. We took the other route, and after a couple of minutes, Orvald announced he smelled something. Fidget shat himself to release "spores" so that we could hear him- he's gone insane and disgusting. Elle punched him for the stench, which would have been funnier if it hadn't distracted us from whatever Orvald was picking up on.

       Suddenly a group of dretches jumped Orvald from behind- thanks to Fidget, Orvald was distracted. A quasit appeared in front of the mouse, and tried to scare him- which did nothing, while a dretch slashed at him and he fell. Of course the spider kisser revived him quickly, while Elle cast a ball of sunlight, which fucking blinded me- beside me I heard Pwent giggling madly that he couldn't see either.

       Sparky's cane cast a spell that made Elle appear dead, it was good Lythana was blinded or Sparky would have been facing an angry hunter; Elle falling made her blasted daylight vanish. Fidget threw a rock at a dretch, and hit Orvald instead, knocking the mousefolk out again; the svirfneblin has a bad habit of hurting the party with rocks. Zenit grabbed her love, wrapping him in her cloak, and ran off to tend to him. Elle's "corpse" vanished briefly, and when she came to she was invisible. Sparky began a snow storm, making the quasit bail on the fight.

       The sounds of battle raged around me, over the sound of Pwent's mad giggling, when I felt a burst of coldness, and fell on my ass. Aura probably cast whatever spell did that, twit. Lythana never learned that she slipped because of Sparky, she just assumed it was the genasi. Fidget launched a bomb at the dretches, and the explosion killed two of them. Orvald, revived again, came charging back into the fight and slaughtered the remaining three of the beats. 

       We went a little further down the tunnel before hearing something around the bend. A xorn emerged from the earth and grabbed Fidget, saying the mushgnome smelled good. As a result to being grabbed by the elemental, Fidget began screaming, laughing, and weeping all at once, and was completely incapacitated for the next minute. Xorns eat metal and gems, and with all of the random scrap Fidget collected, he smelled like a buffet to the creature. Aura instructed Fidget to just give it some metal, but he was too hysterical to do that. Instead Aura tossed it a bag of metal, but with such a tasty gnome in hand- literally- its hunger wasn't sated. It began lowering Fidget into its mouth; at that Orvald began swinging at it. The elemental clawed at Orvald whilst chewing Fidget up, but the barbarian was stronger, and killed the poor creature. The spider kisser wrestled Fidget free of the xorn's maw, and patched the poor, mad gnome up.

       After the dretches and the xorn, we were exhausted, and the mages were drained of most of their magical energies- we headed back to that little derro camp to rest. Upon arriving, we found a carrion crawler feasting on the carnage we had left behind. The beast charged Orvald, while Aura threw a bolt of lightning at it- and didn't hurt any of us!! I ran up and finished the crawler off. Nothing disturbed us during our rest that night.

***** Kythorn 12

       The next morning we returned to the route we had been on the night before, and we came to a new Y in the tunnels. Orvald decided to scout ahead, while we waited for him- though I don't know why it didn't occur to any of us to scout the other tunnel instead of just waiting. That ended up being a huge mistake. Orvald smelled dretches up ahead of him, and heard them snorting as they inhaled- they had caught his scent. He turned to get back to the group, as dretches converged on them from two paths. We heard something running toward us, and suddenly dretches appeared on either side of us. The spider kisser dropped the first one that appeared.

       I don't know what happened, but something in the shadows of the ceiling terrified me so much I had to run away. Beside me Pwent began giggling in terror as well, and as one we turned to run. I fell in a fucking pit trap and felt acid sear my flesh- the pain bought me back to my senses. Now I was faced with the problem of how did I get the fuck out of this pit? I wasn't terribly concerned about the acid, since I could heal on my own thanks to the troll.

       Fidget lit one of the dretches up with faerie fire so the others could hit it with ease, while they began swarming out of the tunnels and falling upon the group, who was currently missing two people. A dretch bit Elle, and she responded by biting it back, even though she was in elven form- Lythana would have been really grossed out. Zarrus responded to a swipe from one by hitting it with hell fire. The beasts began to surround the lythari. 

       I heard Pwent's giggling screams grow to an ear-piercing level, that I'm sure hurt Elle's ears, as I realized I wasn't fucking healing! The acid was melting my armor and flesh, and I couldn't fix it! I couldn't climb out, I couldn't fly out, and I was going to die if I didn't get the acid off of myself. I yelled for help. Sparky appeared at the top of the pit and said he would help me- I hoped that didn't involve making me appear dead, or dropping a cube on me- that would disable me completely and turn me into a real corpse fast. He tried to turn the rock beneath me into a boulder, to raise me out, and instead he turned it to a pebble, dropping me another dagger toss down.

       Orvald was hacking away at the dretches, killing them with his usual casual ease. The dretches began sprouting two heads. Elle fell unconscious from the onslaught of the demons, and Orvald quickly stabilized her- though he didn't have the potions to awaken her. Zenit was also slashing at the beasts, but Zarrus had backed up, not wanting to join the fray.

       Aura started lowering a rope to me, but it fucking dissolved the second it touched the walls of this pit, and landed at me feet. I knew my time was running out. A glow from Sparky's cane suddenly made everything seem wonderful, and I no longer cared about the pit or the acid. Sparky had hit Lythana with a wave of euphoria, not the helpful spell he intended to use; he then began raising the half-drow from the pit with telekinesis. I felt myself leaving the ground, and it was wonderful. I was completely nude, and the acid had moved on to melting my muscles- but it didn't matter, it felt positively amazing. Fidget came to the pit to help Sparky and Aura free Lythana, and fell in the pit himself.  

       With the dretches mostly disposed of, Orvald went after Pwent, and was greeted by a grisly scene of blood everywhere. An ettin appeared and swiped at the mousefolk, and he was aware of chanting as four derro appeared and launched spells at him. Pwent's screams died. 
     

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast

*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast. Anything with an asterisk next to it is a quote from the book.