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Monday, November 27, 2017

Tales from Toril- The Adventures of Critical Bumbersnoot: the Odd Company: Book One, Chapter Thirteen

Incognito Caravan

Dramatis Personae:
Winry Steamgear, the Rock Gnome Alchemist Artificer Wizard
"Critical" Bumbersnoot, Winry's Dachshund Mechanimal Construct
Dunderbittles, Winry's Clockwork Ladybug familiar
Oskar Heartforge, the Shield Dwarf Werewolf Priest of Moradin
Jak Foostus, the Minotaur Monk
Carmina, the Human Knight
Amara, the Human Noble
Sylvia, the Human Rogue
Gill O'Darby, the Human Ranger
Bex Thriceorphaned, the Goliath Juggernaut Barbarian Circle of the Crescent Druid
Trip Hazard, Bex's Golden Cat animal companion

Comrades we have lost:
Mara Quinn, the Water Genasi Revenant Werewolf Sea Sorceress- turned into a vampire, then killed by the party, then risen as a revenant, and killed again by the party

NOTE: Things will be mostly from Winry's perspective, anything in italics is from a third party view, since the artificer can't be everywhere at once. 

***** Mirtul 7, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess), Luskan

       In the morning I suggested we change the girl's hair again to blend them in better. All three of them lightened their hair with lemon, and Amara hacked her hair off beforehand, giving Oskar the hair as a fake beard for him. I decided to dye my hair aqua, and decided to find a hat of disguise for Bumbersnoot, making him look like a flesh and blood dog would help blend us in better. Jak stumbled in while we were working on this, and we gave him spots, since that's really all we could do to disguise him.

       We wandered downstairs for breakfast, and One-Eyed Jax was at his usual post at the bar. He asked us exactly what happened to us, and Oskar told him the entire story. Oskar also paid him to never mention we came back here, since eventually those hunting the girls may come looking here for us again. Jax offered to set us up on a caravan to Mirabar, taking a roundabout way to Waterdeep was our best shot, we knew the hunters would be watching the ports. He gave us $100,000 to deliver a crate of goods- which included some of our random magic items- to a warehouse in Mirabar, and gave us directions to a discreet merchant we could go to for supplies and disguise materials.

       Jak, Sylvia, Gill, and I went shopping, while Oskar, Carmina, and Amara stayed behind to talk to Bex. I left Bumbersnoot with her to keep an eye on her for us. I hated going anywhere without my dog, but without him being disguised, anyone looking for us could recognize us with Bumbersnoot in tow. He also made a good guard against Bex.

       When we got back from shopping, Oskar set up a zone of truth so we could all speak honestly; I guess their talk with Bex went well, since she was included in this. Amara told us it was time she tell us who she truly is and why we're helping her. She's Talina Neverember, Carmina is her cousin, and Sylvia is her handmaiden. They ran from her father because he wanted to force her to marry someone to amass his power and become King of Neverwinter. The man they'd claimed was their father when we met them was actually the man Amara loved and had run away with to marry. Amara's mother was a prominent figure in Waterdeep, making a good chunk of the Sword Coast very unsafe for them. The girls wanted to get far enough south that they could live in peace, without fear of her father finding them. Now that we all knew the truth about them, Amara wanted to give us the option to back out of helping them. Of course we all agreed- surprisingly enough, so did Bex, I didn't think she would since she's convinced that Jak ripped her face off.

       After our conversation we checked in with Jax, who told us he'd found a caravan for us to Mirabar that leaves tomorrow. Apparently they needed bigger numbers in the caravan because of the barbarians we'd fought on our journey here the first time.

       Now that Bumbersnoot and I were disguised we went out shopping again, but didn't find anything useful. As we were leaving a golden cat tripped Bex, and seemed to want her to follow it; she came back later that night and said it was her new cat, which she'd named Trip Hazard. That's such a boring name for a pet, she so should have let me name it.

***** Mirtul 8, Luskan

       In the morning Bex was a man. Apparently she'd put on this girdle she randomly found, and it's cursed with sex change. None of us were mature enough to handle the conversation that ensued about removing the girdle to turn her back into a woman. Finally, after several minutes of utter ridiculousness, Oskar threw his hammer at her nuts and turned her back into a woman.

       We headed for the caravan midday; we were the rear guard in the 24 cart procession.

***** Mirtul 18, Mirabar

       We delivered Jax's goods to a very grumpy dwarf at a warehouse. He said he could get us on a caravan south, and he had tons of dwarven ale and elven flower cheese we could sell. That was perfect, so the others went to check when the next caravan would be leaving.

       The next caravan wasn't for another nine days, and we couldn't risk staying in Mirabar that long, so we decided to form our own caravan. Jak, Oskar, Carmina, and Amara went to get that ball rolling. They wouldn't let me go with them, because apparently I'm too conspicuous, even though Bumbersnoot looks like a flesh and blood dog and my hair is aqua blue instead of its natural bubblegum pink.

       They set up our caravan for two days from now, to let the word get out so we could gather enough wagons. While they were out working on it they were approached by a union representative for caravan guards- apparently it's a thing. He had a contract we needed to sign, so Jak ran it to me. It was a pretty standard contract, though the hazard pay would dick us over if we had to pay it out.

***** Mirtul 21, Mirabar

       We had a decent amount of carts in the caravan, and we set out today, heading for Waterdeep by way of Longsaddle. We had goods to sell along the way, that we should make a decent amount of money off of.

***** Mirtul 27, Longsaddle

       Our journey thus far had been largely uneventful, though I did finally crack the code on wizardry and finished my new Mechanimal, a Clockwork Ladybug named Dunderbittles! She's adorable.

       We took the ale and cheese to the Harper's, and sold off some of our goods. We also bought some experimental gadgets from the human there that were household goods designed to make people's lives easier. They're interesting, if they actually work.

***** Mirtul 28, Longsaddle

       We set out in the morning for Waterdeep. We'd be hitting Triboar and Red Larch next.

***** Mirtul 30, on the road

       It started getting stormy today, and our travel was set back for at least a day.

***** Kythorn 1, on the road

       Ra'zhi, the tabaxi Oskar had hired, told us that there was a situation up ahead of us. There were some giants on the road up ahead, and they looked like storm giants. He suggested we set an ambush, since there was the perfect spot for one right up the road for one. It was in a little valley, with some hill on either side. Ra'zhi had suggested that his crew- which consisted of Ra'zhi, who was a bard or something, Remington, a wizard, Korth, a fighter of some sort, and Ssivi, a cleric or something- go up to the top and we take the valley, between all of us we should be able to take the giants.

        Fog rolled in and we could just make out the silhouettes of three giants approaching. I cast a spell that made the path in front of them greasy, hoping it might help us. A lightning bolt struck me, Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, Bex, and Trip Hazard, and poor Dunderbittles went down instantly. I think I'm going to have to figure out how to make her harder to drop. Then all three of the girls dropped. Gill ran away in terror, and Jak did too. This wasn't a good way to start this fight. I hurried to revive Dunderbittles while Bex pulled Sylvia out of the line of fire.

       Up ahead Oskar was throwing his hammer at the giants, and two of them vanished after the hammer went through them. That was hella weird. Maybe it was a mirror image or something. I suddenly felt a pinch and my body went rigid. I was awake, but paralyzed. At least I couldn't fall off of Bumbersnoot, who instantly began doing his distress howl to alert Oskar. As I was bounced around on my dog, I caught snippets of the fight, since I couldn't see everything or participate until Oskar helped me.

       Bumbersnoot moved up to the unconscious Amara and Carmina, since he knows to go to Oskar if I need help, and Oskar would be going to the girls first. Bex drug them out of harm's way now, and a few moments later, Bex cried out in pain. Jak and Bumbersnoot went to her aid, and began an assault on the lizardfolk who had appeared out of nowhere. We'd later learn this was Korth, he'd just disguised himself as a dragonborn when we met him. Critical Bumbersnoot was shredding into Korth, keeping him prone for the most part, with Dunderbittles getting in poison bites, and Bex and Jak pounding the Hells out of him.

       Up above us, Ssivi had been exchanging spells with Oskar, so he put a silence spell on her to keep her from casting anything for at least a few breaths. He called out we'd been betrayed by the adventurers. Someone ended Oskar's silence quickly, and Ssivi hurt Bex hella bad. Gill had made his way over to the girls that Bumbersnoot, Dunderbittles, and Bex were fighting Korth over, and called out Sylvia had been poisoned. Right after that he went down again.

       Ssivi said something, and all of a sudden their entire group and the girls turned into mist. Oskar snarled in rage and dispelled it. Since they'd been stopped, My Mechanimals and Bex were still pounding on Korth, and he was dishing it out hard against Bex in return. The fight raged on, and I was still being bounced around on Bumbersnoot's back. Oskar hadn't been able to get to me yet.

       Eventually Korth dropped Bex, and turned to Bumbersnoot. I don't think he was expecting a mouthful of metal when he bit my puppy. Then Korth turned into an egg... apparently Ssivi had done so above us too. Jak called out that Ssivi wasn't in the egg, and Bumbersnoot discovered Korth wasn't in his. Jak found an invisible Remington trying to flee, and literally pounded his head in. Ra'zhi escaped in the chaos.

       Oskar was a seething ball of dwarven rage, and he angrily stuffed Remington's body into his bag of holding. The ring of mind shielding the mage had been wearing was also snatched by Oskar, he wanted to make sure Remington didn't come back to life ever. He was hella scary right now. That dwarf is homicidally protective of those girls.



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