Demon Easter Bunnies
Dramatis Personae:
Thecker Powdercraft, the Deep Gnome Wererat Gunslinger and Inquisitor of Bahamut
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights and wielder of Dawnbringer who is the only thing she trusts and has an imaginary personality in addition to the real one, and who compulsively collects trophies from slain foes
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim who compulsively keeps everything she finds
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin who can't sneak
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion
Lady Claire Thundersword, the Human Wererat Swordcaptain of the Purple Dragon Knights and wielder of Dawnbringer who is the only thing she trusts and has an imaginary personality in addition to the real one, and who compulsively collects trophies from slain foes
Hans, Claire's Basalt Wolf Figurine
Kara Reginleif, the Half-Valkyrie Wererat Champion from the Zhentarim who compulsively keeps everything she finds
Sajin Silvertongue, the Deep Gnome Wererat Assassin who can't sneak
Mezzem, the Kobold Wererat Priestess of Bahamut
Natali, the Tiger Therinthrope Beastmaster
Yklwa, Tali's Deinonychus animal companion
Topsy and Turvy, the Deep Gnome Wererat Rogue Twins
Stool, the Myconid Child
Rumpadump, the Myconid Child
Comrades we have lost:
Ront, the Orc Fighter- turned into hamburger by Pwent
Buppido, the Derro- smashed by Orvald
Eldeth Feldrun, the Shield Dwarf- killed during escape
Hera Adaar, the Abyssal Tiefling Wild Sorceress- swept away
Luna Trelawny, the Human Divination Wizard- skull caved in by rock thrown by Fidget, then finished off by black pudding
Sarith Zekarit, the Drow Scout- drowned
Phillip Johnson, the Human Cleric- in a seemingly irreversible coma, left in Hemeth's care
Jim Jar, the Deep Gnome- eaten by grell
Prince Derendil, the Quaggoth- killed by sea troll
Shuushar, the "Awakened" Kuo-toa- turned into shuushi by sea troll
Hemeth, the Duergar Arms Dealer- parted with group in Gracklstugh
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian-became a squeaky toy last seen in Bahamutsville under Zin-carla
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter-abandoned the party because Orvald died last seen in Bahamutsville
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass
Thimblepwent Battlehammer, the Dwarven Battlerager Barbarian- turned into dog food
Orvald Abershaw, the Mousefolk Barbarian-
Zenit 'Dracon, the Drow Fighter-
Lythana Belmyr, the Half-Drow Blood Hunter of Eilistraee- sacrificed to Demogorgon
Codsworth, the polite Flumph- shredded by crossbow
Zarrus, the Tiefling Favored Soul Sorcerer of Mephisto- vanished during gnoll fight
Ol' Sparky, the Deep Dragon- last seen thrown into a portal to the Abyss by a glabrezu
Aura, the Air Genasi Storm Sorceress- accidental self-vaporization (bitch blew herself up)
Kyri, the Minotaur Scout- vaporized by a jackass
Fidget Stonegear, the Deep Gnome Inventor- big badda boom
Miarielle, the Lythari Priestess of Corellon- bigger badda boom
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube and a great warrior- stayed with the kobolds
Friendly fire overall: 119
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.
***** Eleasias 17, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)
With the moon finally over, we packed up to continue our trek to Blingdenstone. The svirfneblin thought we were about three days away from their city.
When we came to a Y in the tunnel, we heard some odd sounds coming from the passage that the twins had marked as not to go down. Sajin said it was Terran being spoken by a mephit, Thecker used a spell to understand it, and said it sounded like the mephit was leading an earth elemental. As soon as she said that it came around the corner, elemental in tow; they said it was a dust mephit, it was actually really cute.
Thecker offered the mephit a ruby in exchange for directions to Blingdenstone. In her introductions I guess, she explained to it what gunpowder is, so it instead asked for some of that. She told it she didn't have enough to spare, so it had her tell its elemental what she needed, and it produced a ton of ingredients. I wish I could have understood that conversation, it must have been interesting.
The mephit led us to a faerzress cavern and opened up what looked like a giant geode in the ground- a secure resting place for Thecker to make it gunpowder. The center of this geode had really strong gravity, strong enough that Mezzem decided to attempt to fly in it... she got stuck right in the middle of the geode. Sajin threw a rock at Mezzem's shield, and the kobold went spinning wildly, folding herself around the shield, gripping it so tightly her blood circulation was probably disrupted in her fingers. Thecker decided to shoot the shield to get Mezzem to stop spinning before she got sick, her shot was true and it did. At this point it was pretty obvious that Mezzem was done, so I chucked my grapple at her, and Kara and I reeled her in.
Our new friend drew us a map to Blingdenstone, and it looked like we were about three days away, as we had thought. Sajin had shot poisoned arrows at Mezzem while she was stuck, and Turvy, being overly possessive of her drugged Sajin as revenge.
As everyone slept that night, Thecker saw the mephit going through everyone's packs. She didn't say anything to it or anyone else about it, and no one seemed to notice anything missing the next day.
***** Eleasias 18
The next morning we parted with the mephit and began following its map to Blingdenstone. About halfway through the day the tunnel began feeling warmer and hazy, and it smelled of smoke. As we noticed it, the twins came back and told us there was a lava flow up ahead with a mushroom forest ablaze from it. We had to cross the damned thing, it was a major landmark on our map- the only question was how.
We were facing a river of lava, with no section narrow enough for us to pass over easily. There were some stalagmites sticking out of it, but we couldn't get to them. Mezzem said she could move the stones to form a bridge across for us. Kara decided to fly over and check it out first, to make sure nothing was lurking on the other side, ready to pounce the moment we crossed. As she flew across, she saw something glinting on one of the stalagmites and decided to get it- it looked like a gemstone.
The other side of the flow was pretty much the same as the side the rest of the party was on, but Kara did discover that a series of the stalagmites would work to make a bridge across. Kara came back and showed us this stone she found. It kind of looked like a diamond, but there was smoke in it, and as I watched, the smoke shifted. Mezzem said it was some sort of abjuration thing, and she'd figure it out later- cause Kara and I totally know what abjuration is.
Topsy came up with a different way of getting everyone across that wouldn't tax Mezzem's magical energy. She had a ritual spell in her book called Tenser's Floating Disc, and she had Kara cast it- which was kind of funny- because the disc would follow whoever cast the spell, so she could just fly back and forth and take us one by one. It would be a lot of flying, but she'd get to stretch her wings, which she's always bitching she doesn't get to do enough.
First Kara did a test trip across with the disc empty, to make sure this would work. There wasn't any trouble, so she came back and took Topsy's phantom lizard across. When Kara landed she saw a disturbance in the ground and smoke rising. We saw two figures seem to rise out of the ground, and another two out of the smoke, on the side that Kara was on. They looked like enormous bunnies... All four of them dove for Kara and began ripping her apart; I watched in horror, knowing there was nothing I could do to save her. By the time the bunnies were done with her, all that was left of Kara was a bloody torso.
The gem in Mezzem's pocket began to pulse. One of the bunnies leapt across the lava flow, as if it were the size of a creek, not a river, and landed on Thecker. Thecker noticed a red glint in its mouth as its jaws closed on her. The next bunny followed its friend's example of leaping across the lava, but this one landed on Mezzem's lizard. Stool and Rumpadump rode in saddle bags on her lizard since she's the lightest, and I saw Rumpadump dismount, but poor Stool found himself trapped under the lizard as it was knocked prone.
The bunny's head swooped down to bite Mezzem's leg, and I threw my shield at it, intercepting the blow... the fucker broke my shield. As it snapped in half a mad cackling rang out in the cavern and something came out of the broken halves, whooshing away before we could determine what it was. Mezzem recognized the presence that left Claire's shield as something powerful and demonic. Claire had been trying to understand the shield for days, and it seemed that presence was a vital clue to understanding it. If that bunny's teeth could do that to my shield, I shudder to think what it would have done to Mezzem if I hadn't intercepted.
With my shield missing, I drew my Thundersword and used it alongside Dawnbringer against the bunny that broke my shield. Following the loud crackle of thunder that came from my sword was a bang! as if a small explosion went off. Sajin had drawn his sword, setting off the gunpowder trap the mephit had left there the night before. Turvy hurled a ball of fire at the bunny, but it didn't seem to do much.
I looked up just as another bunny flew across the flow and landed on me. Clover was knocked over, and I quickly rolled off of her, accidentally putting myself right in the smoke from the forest fire- everything was hazy and partially obscured. The damned rabbit decided to try to eat Clover instead, and she was barely standing when it was done.
The final bunny landed on Sajin and knocked him over. Thecker opened fire on the bunny on top of her, and it responded by jumping straight up and landing right on top of her. Its teeth snapped at her, but somehow missed the gunslinger. On the ground where it had been before jumping was an egg that smelled like chocolate. She grabbed the egg and hurled it at the bunny, partially blinding it, then with a burst of light the egg released lightning on Thecker and Sajin, stunning Thecker.
The bunny on Mezzem jumped over her to put itself behind Turvy and Rumpadump; it bit into the sprout and he froze. I slashed at the bunny in front of me, protecting Clover from it, but she ran off into the smoke, terrified of the beast. The bunny jumped to land behind me, and thankfully it missed biting me. Sajin stabbed wildly at his bunny, while it hopped over him, landing atop both him and his lizard- injuring the lizard so badly that it began to bleed out.
Mezzem saw the silhouette of a tiger pacing inside the gem, and she held it out willing the stone's power at the bunny on her. Smoke billowed from the gem, and in the bunny's place, a white tiger stood. Turvy stabbed his bunny as it jumped over him to attack the tiger, Tali. I continued hacking at the bunny in front of me, hoping I could kill it before it bit me. Sajin stabbed a bunny in the eye, killing it, and it turned into smoke, leaving the cavern through the same path as the being from Claire's shield. The bunny I was locked in combat with jumped, and I slashed it with Dawnbringer before it could get away. It went about ten feet up before plummeting right back down- it almost landed on Mezzem.
An egg had been left behind when it the bunny jumped, and it exploded in a burst of icy air- which was kind of refreshing in this sweltering cavern. The bunny Thecker had been fighting bit her, and the stunned svirfneblin couldn't avoid its vorpal maw; she fell unconscious and began to bleed out. The bunny jumped to Topsy next. Another egg exploded- this one in a burst of flames- setting Thecker, her lizard, and Kara's lizard, Falcor, aflame. Tali pounced on it and knocked it over. Falcor rolled on the stone to put himself out, while Mezzem put the flames on Thecker out and revived her.
I finally slashed through the bunny on me, killing the damned thing. Sajin stabbed the final one through the eye and finished it off. I decided that the teeth would make an excellent trophy, and reached in to pry one loose. Apparently I didn't have a good grip on it, because it neatly sliced through all of the fingers on my left hand. Overwhelming pain drew me to my knees as I called for Mezzem's aid.
Thecker went looking for Clover in the smoke, and found her dead. My poor lizard. Almost everything that I'd packed on her was destroyed.
We inspected the gem that the tiger, Tali, had come out of, and could make out the shape of the damned bunny within it. Sajin suggested we throw it in the lava, and the damned thing floated. We decided it would be best to just collect it and hang on to it for later. Apparently Tali had been trapped in that thing for a couple centuries, poor thing. Somehow she isn't completely mad, which is very impressive, I doubt I'd leave something like that with my sanity intact.
Since we no longer had someone to fly across the lava flow with that floating disc of Topsy's, we decided to have Mezzem magically shape a stone bridge across the stalagmites. The very last bit of it snapped under her weight, but she managed to make it across safely. We all made it over safely, but Sajin's poor lizard's feet were badly burned, messing up his suction and making climbing almost impossible, the poor thing had trouble walking in general.
***** Eleasias 19
We spent today looking for the marker that would put us on the path to Blingdenstone. Eventually we found a small pyramid of stones that looked like it marked the way, but it wasn't. I led us down the wrong path, and by the time we figured it out and turned back, it was near time to make camp. Our entire travel for today was wasted because the damn gnomes hide the true path to their stupid city.
That night during Thecker and Topsy's watch, the mephit visited again, and told her which path was the correct one.
***** Eleasias 20
As Sajin drew his blade, it exploded again, apparently that mephit had trapped his sword again. This time his scabbard was completely fucked up- I think it used more powder this time. I love that it was trapping Sajin's stuff, it was hilarious.
We wasted another day going down the wrong path, this time per Thecker and Topsy's insistence. Once again we got back to the main road in time for camp. I'm starting to hate Blingdenstone.
At camp tonight, Sajin pretended to be the voice of Bahamut, and told Thecker to shoot herself with a silver bullet. He's a really bad actor, and he found himself way too amusing, his giggling ruined the joke. Thecker shot him with the silver instead, and Topsy told him to use his dagger to get the bullet out... it exploded when he drew it. That mephit is ridiculous, there's got to be other travelers for it to prank.
***** Eleasias 21
We finally found the correct path, which was right next to where we had been camping for the last three fucking nights. Of course it was right next to us and we missed it. I hate the stupid Underdark.
After traveling for about 6 hours we came across some faces carved into the tunnel, of male and female deep gnomes. I hoped that meant we were still on the right path.
Sajin and Turvy took us down the wrong path today, and we lost a bunch of time, again.
***** Eleasias 22
We were on the right path, we hoped, when suddenly everything went black. I activated Dawnbringer and she merely reflected the darkness- great, another rocktopus, at least that meant good dinner tonight. As I registered this thought there was an explosion from her hilt- that damned mephit- and I dropped her. I heard Sajin grunt in surprise, and thought I could tell where it was, so I blindly attacked. I know I connected with something, but I don't know if I hit him or the rocktopus.
Mezzem dispelled the darkness and we were greeted to the sight of Sajin grappled by the beast. I scooped up Dawnbringer and we all made quick work of the rocktopus- Topsy got the killing blow. Claire hadn't actually grabbed Dawnbringer, but instead the imaginary version. The real Dawnbringer landed a couple feet away, and Thecker found her. As the mad Purple Dragon lectured her sword about splitting, she asked Thecker to fix Claire's madness.
As I put Dawnbringer back together, I wish she'd quit splitting like that, Mezzem whacked me in the head and I felt the power of Bahamut pulse through me. I have no idea what she did. Mezzem had cured Claire's compulsion to collect trophies from things she kills, her imaginary Dawnbringer stayed in place.
We entered a large cavern on a ledge, above a chamber that was lined with stalagmites, with a huge magic circle in the center. The svirfneblin said this was an elemental earth circle, it was some sort of containment. They didn't know they were looking at Entemoch's Boon, a summoning circle that was once used to summon the elemental earth prince, Entemoch, and his presence had left a permanent imprint of magical energy. It was lost during the drow invasion of Blingdenstone, and many think it's just a myth at this point.
While the rest of us were looking at the circle, Sajin was debating if he could survive falling off the ledge. He started making some stupid jokes about it, then flipped around and randomly insulted me. I don't know what his fucking problem is, but I'm sick of him using Surfacer as a derogatory term. Mezzem grabbed Sajin by the throat and held him right on the edge of the cliff. As the ass continued to insult me, I told her that if she didn't throw him off the ledge, I would. She dropped him, and he ended up with a limp for the next few days. Unfortunately our wererat resistances allowed him to jump without being hurt beyond that.
The rest of us climbed down the ledge on our lizards. Since we had to leave Sajin's mutilated lizard up there, Mezzem elected to leave hers up there too; she didn't want to bring Stool down until we had explored and found the way we needed to travel. The lad had become so quiet since the loss of Rumpadump, he barely spoke anymore, and pretty much refused to leave his bag. I had tried to commiserate with him, since I know what losing your best friend feels like, but he didn't want to speak; out energetic, perpetually curious sprout was gone, and what had been left behind was an empty shell, I wish there was something I could do for the child,
It looked like there used to be a bunch of statues in this chamber, that had long since been broken. There were pieces of stone vermin, nugs, and bats scattered everywhere. I wonder what happened here. Mezzem lifted the monocle she had gotten from the beholder and scanned the room looking through it. We heard a growl behind us, and I turned, then felt myself freezing up as stone started creeping up me. It was a basilisk behind them, the party had invaded its lair.
Everyone began averting their eyes, while Mezzem struck it with a spell. Seymour's monocle made her immune to its abilities. I saw the beast slash at Topsy, as another growl came from behind me- there were two of these things. Shit. That one slashed at Tali with its claws, and poisoned the ranger. I managed to shake off the petrification, only to immediately be hit by another one. This was not going well. Thecker realized they didn't have a chance of getting out of this alive if nobody could see the basilisks to attack them. She opened her eyes and opened fire on it. I heard the bang of Thecker's gun, followed by a roar of pain- she had hit it and it was hurt. Good.
Sajin was bitten and clawed at by the other one, and he swung his blade to retaliate... completely missing his mark. I managed to shake off the petrification again, and was able to close my eyes before it could hit me again. I asked Dawnbringer to guide my hand, and swung in the direction she indicated. My blade connected with something, so I guess that was the right decision. Claire had hit Tali, and she accidentally looked at the basilisk in her surprise, she began turning to stone.
I felt the swipe of its claws and it pinch of its teeth, I could feel the blood pouring out of me as it pulled away. Topsy killed the one Thecker had shot, she shoved it, and its body landed on top of Sajin. I swung Dawnbringer again, I know I hit it at least once. She had hit Mezzem... Turvy moved to stab Claire for accidentally hitting Mezzem, and instead began turning to stone. Tali was unable to shake off the petrification, and was completely a statue now. Mezzem summoned her spirit blade and killed the basilisk. I felt something go whizzing past me, it had to be the basilisk- I swung Dawnbringer and felt her connect with it again- Claire once again stabbed Mezzem. Turvy became solid stone, and his sister began stabbing the dead beast's eyes over and over, taking her anger of her brother being stone out on it. They said the fight was over, and I opened my eyes to see both Turvy and Tali as solid stone, with Mezzem curled around Turvy's legs, in meditation- regaining the magical energy to revive him.
While the rest of us collected ourselves from this battle, we heard several thuds, and an exclamation of either pain or surprise- I couldn't tell. The lizards came running toward us, whatever made that noise had spooked them. As Thecker and I went toward the noise, we saw a small dust cloud, and something inside it bellowed. There were some red patches on the ground that I think were blood, and the silhouette of something huge began standing.
It was a stone giant who was completely drunk. He called himself Gront Stonefist, and screamed that Thecker that she had broken his keg. Gront clumsily swung his club at Thecker, and missed, tripping on nothing and landed with another thud on the ground next to us. She climbed on top of it to pin it down, and Sajin decided to whack it in the back of the head. I gave it a bottle of Gresyl wine to make up for its lost keg- and the shithead bit me in the process of taking it from me. It swallowed the bottle whole and demanded more. As Thecker produced another bottle, fucking Sajin swung at it again, and hit Thecker instead. The bottle she had just pulled out crashed and broke at my feet- Sajin had just destroyed the our attempts to befriend it- what in the Nine Hells was he thinking? Oh right, he wasn't, because he doesn't think about anything except himself.
I pulled a new bottle out for it, but the drunk bastard punched Thecker for breaking that bottle. Thanks Sajin. It was screaming at her for breaking its booze, so she chucked a vial of something at it- which bounced off its lip. I touched Dawnbringer to it and sobered it up, which only made matters worse... It got up and began screaming "mine" as it ran toward the statues of Turvy and Tali. Thecker shot him so he couldn't destroy our friends, and accidentally killed him.
We went back to where it had fallen and found the remains of Mezzem and Sajin's lizards, and inside Stool's bag we found his smashed corpse. Poor child.
***** Eleasias 23
When Mezzem finally came out of her meditation, she revived Turvy, then went right back into it to regain the magic for Tali. I gathered up everything we had on the dead lizards that had survived the fall, and began redistributing everything. Topsy helped me repair our saddle bags, using the clothing the giant was wearing, and then gave me shit for the next two hours while I took an inventory of what we had left. We were down to Skitter, the twin's lizard, Thecker's lizard, and Falcor, who is now my lizard. It was difficult, but I managed to redistribute everything, and we lost so much of our supplies. I hoped we'd reach Blingdenstone soon.
While we waited for Mezzem, Thecker used her pandemonium amulet, and Topsy dropped into hysterical laughter for the next few minutes. That thing was fucking weird. I found three perfectly round stones, and gave one to Tali and one to Mezzem, keeping one for myself. I didn't know what they did, but they seemed like something we should keep.
When Mezzem was finally done rejuvenating her magic, she revived Tali. Topsy spent some time at the circle, and summoned all of us elemental lizards, they were really fucking cool.
Shortly after we continued on our way to Blingdenstone, we met a svirfneblin caravan heading toward there. They agreed to take us to town if we acted as guards. We should reach Blingdenstone much quicker now, I hope.
Kazul, the Copper Dragonborn Shadow Monk of Bahamut- skull caved in by another rock from Fidget
Glabbagool, the Gelatinous Cube and a great warrior- stayed with the kobolds
Friendly fire overall: 119
NOTE: Things will be mostly from Claire's perspective, anything with italics is from a third party, since the knight can't be everywhere at once.
***** Eleasias 17, 1489 DR (The Year of the Warrior Princess)
With the moon finally over, we packed up to continue our trek to Blingdenstone. The svirfneblin thought we were about three days away from their city.
When we came to a Y in the tunnel, we heard some odd sounds coming from the passage that the twins had marked as not to go down. Sajin said it was Terran being spoken by a mephit, Thecker used a spell to understand it, and said it sounded like the mephit was leading an earth elemental. As soon as she said that it came around the corner, elemental in tow; they said it was a dust mephit, it was actually really cute.
Thecker offered the mephit a ruby in exchange for directions to Blingdenstone. In her introductions I guess, she explained to it what gunpowder is, so it instead asked for some of that. She told it she didn't have enough to spare, so it had her tell its elemental what she needed, and it produced a ton of ingredients. I wish I could have understood that conversation, it must have been interesting.
The mephit led us to a faerzress cavern and opened up what looked like a giant geode in the ground- a secure resting place for Thecker to make it gunpowder. The center of this geode had really strong gravity, strong enough that Mezzem decided to attempt to fly in it... she got stuck right in the middle of the geode. Sajin threw a rock at Mezzem's shield, and the kobold went spinning wildly, folding herself around the shield, gripping it so tightly her blood circulation was probably disrupted in her fingers. Thecker decided to shoot the shield to get Mezzem to stop spinning before she got sick, her shot was true and it did. At this point it was pretty obvious that Mezzem was done, so I chucked my grapple at her, and Kara and I reeled her in.
Our new friend drew us a map to Blingdenstone, and it looked like we were about three days away, as we had thought. Sajin had shot poisoned arrows at Mezzem while she was stuck, and Turvy, being overly possessive of her drugged Sajin as revenge.
As everyone slept that night, Thecker saw the mephit going through everyone's packs. She didn't say anything to it or anyone else about it, and no one seemed to notice anything missing the next day.
***** Eleasias 18
The next morning we parted with the mephit and began following its map to Blingdenstone. About halfway through the day the tunnel began feeling warmer and hazy, and it smelled of smoke. As we noticed it, the twins came back and told us there was a lava flow up ahead with a mushroom forest ablaze from it. We had to cross the damned thing, it was a major landmark on our map- the only question was how.
We were facing a river of lava, with no section narrow enough for us to pass over easily. There were some stalagmites sticking out of it, but we couldn't get to them. Mezzem said she could move the stones to form a bridge across for us. Kara decided to fly over and check it out first, to make sure nothing was lurking on the other side, ready to pounce the moment we crossed. As she flew across, she saw something glinting on one of the stalagmites and decided to get it- it looked like a gemstone.
The other side of the flow was pretty much the same as the side the rest of the party was on, but Kara did discover that a series of the stalagmites would work to make a bridge across. Kara came back and showed us this stone she found. It kind of looked like a diamond, but there was smoke in it, and as I watched, the smoke shifted. Mezzem said it was some sort of abjuration thing, and she'd figure it out later- cause Kara and I totally know what abjuration is.
Topsy came up with a different way of getting everyone across that wouldn't tax Mezzem's magical energy. She had a ritual spell in her book called Tenser's Floating Disc, and she had Kara cast it- which was kind of funny- because the disc would follow whoever cast the spell, so she could just fly back and forth and take us one by one. It would be a lot of flying, but she'd get to stretch her wings, which she's always bitching she doesn't get to do enough.
First Kara did a test trip across with the disc empty, to make sure this would work. There wasn't any trouble, so she came back and took Topsy's phantom lizard across. When Kara landed she saw a disturbance in the ground and smoke rising. We saw two figures seem to rise out of the ground, and another two out of the smoke, on the side that Kara was on. They looked like enormous bunnies... All four of them dove for Kara and began ripping her apart; I watched in horror, knowing there was nothing I could do to save her. By the time the bunnies were done with her, all that was left of Kara was a bloody torso.
The gem in Mezzem's pocket began to pulse. One of the bunnies leapt across the lava flow, as if it were the size of a creek, not a river, and landed on Thecker. Thecker noticed a red glint in its mouth as its jaws closed on her. The next bunny followed its friend's example of leaping across the lava, but this one landed on Mezzem's lizard. Stool and Rumpadump rode in saddle bags on her lizard since she's the lightest, and I saw Rumpadump dismount, but poor Stool found himself trapped under the lizard as it was knocked prone.
The bunny's head swooped down to bite Mezzem's leg, and I threw my shield at it, intercepting the blow... the fucker broke my shield. As it snapped in half a mad cackling rang out in the cavern and something came out of the broken halves, whooshing away before we could determine what it was. Mezzem recognized the presence that left Claire's shield as something powerful and demonic. Claire had been trying to understand the shield for days, and it seemed that presence was a vital clue to understanding it. If that bunny's teeth could do that to my shield, I shudder to think what it would have done to Mezzem if I hadn't intercepted.
With my shield missing, I drew my Thundersword and used it alongside Dawnbringer against the bunny that broke my shield. Following the loud crackle of thunder that came from my sword was a bang! as if a small explosion went off. Sajin had drawn his sword, setting off the gunpowder trap the mephit had left there the night before. Turvy hurled a ball of fire at the bunny, but it didn't seem to do much.
I looked up just as another bunny flew across the flow and landed on me. Clover was knocked over, and I quickly rolled off of her, accidentally putting myself right in the smoke from the forest fire- everything was hazy and partially obscured. The damned rabbit decided to try to eat Clover instead, and she was barely standing when it was done.
The final bunny landed on Sajin and knocked him over. Thecker opened fire on the bunny on top of her, and it responded by jumping straight up and landing right on top of her. Its teeth snapped at her, but somehow missed the gunslinger. On the ground where it had been before jumping was an egg that smelled like chocolate. She grabbed the egg and hurled it at the bunny, partially blinding it, then with a burst of light the egg released lightning on Thecker and Sajin, stunning Thecker.
The bunny on Mezzem jumped over her to put itself behind Turvy and Rumpadump; it bit into the sprout and he froze. I slashed at the bunny in front of me, protecting Clover from it, but she ran off into the smoke, terrified of the beast. The bunny jumped to land behind me, and thankfully it missed biting me. Sajin stabbed wildly at his bunny, while it hopped over him, landing atop both him and his lizard- injuring the lizard so badly that it began to bleed out.
Mezzem saw the silhouette of a tiger pacing inside the gem, and she held it out willing the stone's power at the bunny on her. Smoke billowed from the gem, and in the bunny's place, a white tiger stood. Turvy stabbed his bunny as it jumped over him to attack the tiger, Tali. I continued hacking at the bunny in front of me, hoping I could kill it before it bit me. Sajin stabbed a bunny in the eye, killing it, and it turned into smoke, leaving the cavern through the same path as the being from Claire's shield. The bunny I was locked in combat with jumped, and I slashed it with Dawnbringer before it could get away. It went about ten feet up before plummeting right back down- it almost landed on Mezzem.
An egg had been left behind when it the bunny jumped, and it exploded in a burst of icy air- which was kind of refreshing in this sweltering cavern. The bunny Thecker had been fighting bit her, and the stunned svirfneblin couldn't avoid its vorpal maw; she fell unconscious and began to bleed out. The bunny jumped to Topsy next. Another egg exploded- this one in a burst of flames- setting Thecker, her lizard, and Kara's lizard, Falcor, aflame. Tali pounced on it and knocked it over. Falcor rolled on the stone to put himself out, while Mezzem put the flames on Thecker out and revived her.
I finally slashed through the bunny on me, killing the damned thing. Sajin stabbed the final one through the eye and finished it off. I decided that the teeth would make an excellent trophy, and reached in to pry one loose. Apparently I didn't have a good grip on it, because it neatly sliced through all of the fingers on my left hand. Overwhelming pain drew me to my knees as I called for Mezzem's aid.
Thecker went looking for Clover in the smoke, and found her dead. My poor lizard. Almost everything that I'd packed on her was destroyed.
We inspected the gem that the tiger, Tali, had come out of, and could make out the shape of the damned bunny within it. Sajin suggested we throw it in the lava, and the damned thing floated. We decided it would be best to just collect it and hang on to it for later. Apparently Tali had been trapped in that thing for a couple centuries, poor thing. Somehow she isn't completely mad, which is very impressive, I doubt I'd leave something like that with my sanity intact.
Since we no longer had someone to fly across the lava flow with that floating disc of Topsy's, we decided to have Mezzem magically shape a stone bridge across the stalagmites. The very last bit of it snapped under her weight, but she managed to make it across safely. We all made it over safely, but Sajin's poor lizard's feet were badly burned, messing up his suction and making climbing almost impossible, the poor thing had trouble walking in general.
***** Eleasias 19
We spent today looking for the marker that would put us on the path to Blingdenstone. Eventually we found a small pyramid of stones that looked like it marked the way, but it wasn't. I led us down the wrong path, and by the time we figured it out and turned back, it was near time to make camp. Our entire travel for today was wasted because the damn gnomes hide the true path to their stupid city.
That night during Thecker and Topsy's watch, the mephit visited again, and told her which path was the correct one.
***** Eleasias 20
As Sajin drew his blade, it exploded again, apparently that mephit had trapped his sword again. This time his scabbard was completely fucked up- I think it used more powder this time. I love that it was trapping Sajin's stuff, it was hilarious.
We wasted another day going down the wrong path, this time per Thecker and Topsy's insistence. Once again we got back to the main road in time for camp. I'm starting to hate Blingdenstone.
At camp tonight, Sajin pretended to be the voice of Bahamut, and told Thecker to shoot herself with a silver bullet. He's a really bad actor, and he found himself way too amusing, his giggling ruined the joke. Thecker shot him with the silver instead, and Topsy told him to use his dagger to get the bullet out... it exploded when he drew it. That mephit is ridiculous, there's got to be other travelers for it to prank.
***** Eleasias 21
We finally found the correct path, which was right next to where we had been camping for the last three fucking nights. Of course it was right next to us and we missed it. I hate the stupid Underdark.
After traveling for about 6 hours we came across some faces carved into the tunnel, of male and female deep gnomes. I hoped that meant we were still on the right path.
Sajin and Turvy took us down the wrong path today, and we lost a bunch of time, again.
***** Eleasias 22
We were on the right path, we hoped, when suddenly everything went black. I activated Dawnbringer and she merely reflected the darkness- great, another rocktopus, at least that meant good dinner tonight. As I registered this thought there was an explosion from her hilt- that damned mephit- and I dropped her. I heard Sajin grunt in surprise, and thought I could tell where it was, so I blindly attacked. I know I connected with something, but I don't know if I hit him or the rocktopus.
Mezzem dispelled the darkness and we were greeted to the sight of Sajin grappled by the beast. I scooped up Dawnbringer and we all made quick work of the rocktopus- Topsy got the killing blow. Claire hadn't actually grabbed Dawnbringer, but instead the imaginary version. The real Dawnbringer landed a couple feet away, and Thecker found her. As the mad Purple Dragon lectured her sword about splitting, she asked Thecker to fix Claire's madness.
As I put Dawnbringer back together, I wish she'd quit splitting like that, Mezzem whacked me in the head and I felt the power of Bahamut pulse through me. I have no idea what she did. Mezzem had cured Claire's compulsion to collect trophies from things she kills, her imaginary Dawnbringer stayed in place.
We entered a large cavern on a ledge, above a chamber that was lined with stalagmites, with a huge magic circle in the center. The svirfneblin said this was an elemental earth circle, it was some sort of containment. They didn't know they were looking at Entemoch's Boon, a summoning circle that was once used to summon the elemental earth prince, Entemoch, and his presence had left a permanent imprint of magical energy. It was lost during the drow invasion of Blingdenstone, and many think it's just a myth at this point.
While the rest of us were looking at the circle, Sajin was debating if he could survive falling off the ledge. He started making some stupid jokes about it, then flipped around and randomly insulted me. I don't know what his fucking problem is, but I'm sick of him using Surfacer as a derogatory term. Mezzem grabbed Sajin by the throat and held him right on the edge of the cliff. As the ass continued to insult me, I told her that if she didn't throw him off the ledge, I would. She dropped him, and he ended up with a limp for the next few days. Unfortunately our wererat resistances allowed him to jump without being hurt beyond that.
The rest of us climbed down the ledge on our lizards. Since we had to leave Sajin's mutilated lizard up there, Mezzem elected to leave hers up there too; she didn't want to bring Stool down until we had explored and found the way we needed to travel. The lad had become so quiet since the loss of Rumpadump, he barely spoke anymore, and pretty much refused to leave his bag. I had tried to commiserate with him, since I know what losing your best friend feels like, but he didn't want to speak; out energetic, perpetually curious sprout was gone, and what had been left behind was an empty shell, I wish there was something I could do for the child,
It looked like there used to be a bunch of statues in this chamber, that had long since been broken. There were pieces of stone vermin, nugs, and bats scattered everywhere. I wonder what happened here. Mezzem lifted the monocle she had gotten from the beholder and scanned the room looking through it. We heard a growl behind us, and I turned, then felt myself freezing up as stone started creeping up me. It was a basilisk behind them, the party had invaded its lair.
Everyone began averting their eyes, while Mezzem struck it with a spell. Seymour's monocle made her immune to its abilities. I saw the beast slash at Topsy, as another growl came from behind me- there were two of these things. Shit. That one slashed at Tali with its claws, and poisoned the ranger. I managed to shake off the petrification, only to immediately be hit by another one. This was not going well. Thecker realized they didn't have a chance of getting out of this alive if nobody could see the basilisks to attack them. She opened her eyes and opened fire on it. I heard the bang of Thecker's gun, followed by a roar of pain- she had hit it and it was hurt. Good.
Sajin was bitten and clawed at by the other one, and he swung his blade to retaliate... completely missing his mark. I managed to shake off the petrification again, and was able to close my eyes before it could hit me again. I asked Dawnbringer to guide my hand, and swung in the direction she indicated. My blade connected with something, so I guess that was the right decision. Claire had hit Tali, and she accidentally looked at the basilisk in her surprise, she began turning to stone.
I felt the swipe of its claws and it pinch of its teeth, I could feel the blood pouring out of me as it pulled away. Topsy killed the one Thecker had shot, she shoved it, and its body landed on top of Sajin. I swung Dawnbringer again, I know I hit it at least once. She had hit Mezzem... Turvy moved to stab Claire for accidentally hitting Mezzem, and instead began turning to stone. Tali was unable to shake off the petrification, and was completely a statue now. Mezzem summoned her spirit blade and killed the basilisk. I felt something go whizzing past me, it had to be the basilisk- I swung Dawnbringer and felt her connect with it again- Claire once again stabbed Mezzem. Turvy became solid stone, and his sister began stabbing the dead beast's eyes over and over, taking her anger of her brother being stone out on it. They said the fight was over, and I opened my eyes to see both Turvy and Tali as solid stone, with Mezzem curled around Turvy's legs, in meditation- regaining the magical energy to revive him.
While the rest of us collected ourselves from this battle, we heard several thuds, and an exclamation of either pain or surprise- I couldn't tell. The lizards came running toward us, whatever made that noise had spooked them. As Thecker and I went toward the noise, we saw a small dust cloud, and something inside it bellowed. There were some red patches on the ground that I think were blood, and the silhouette of something huge began standing.
It was a stone giant who was completely drunk. He called himself Gront Stonefist, and screamed that Thecker that she had broken his keg. Gront clumsily swung his club at Thecker, and missed, tripping on nothing and landed with another thud on the ground next to us. She climbed on top of it to pin it down, and Sajin decided to whack it in the back of the head. I gave it a bottle of Gresyl wine to make up for its lost keg- and the shithead bit me in the process of taking it from me. It swallowed the bottle whole and demanded more. As Thecker produced another bottle, fucking Sajin swung at it again, and hit Thecker instead. The bottle she had just pulled out crashed and broke at my feet- Sajin had just destroyed the our attempts to befriend it- what in the Nine Hells was he thinking? Oh right, he wasn't, because he doesn't think about anything except himself.
I pulled a new bottle out for it, but the drunk bastard punched Thecker for breaking that bottle. Thanks Sajin. It was screaming at her for breaking its booze, so she chucked a vial of something at it- which bounced off its lip. I touched Dawnbringer to it and sobered it up, which only made matters worse... It got up and began screaming "mine" as it ran toward the statues of Turvy and Tali. Thecker shot him so he couldn't destroy our friends, and accidentally killed him.
We went back to where it had fallen and found the remains of Mezzem and Sajin's lizards, and inside Stool's bag we found his smashed corpse. Poor child.
***** Eleasias 23
When Mezzem finally came out of her meditation, she revived Turvy, then went right back into it to regain the magic for Tali. I gathered up everything we had on the dead lizards that had survived the fall, and began redistributing everything. Topsy helped me repair our saddle bags, using the clothing the giant was wearing, and then gave me shit for the next two hours while I took an inventory of what we had left. We were down to Skitter, the twin's lizard, Thecker's lizard, and Falcor, who is now my lizard. It was difficult, but I managed to redistribute everything, and we lost so much of our supplies. I hoped we'd reach Blingdenstone soon.
While we waited for Mezzem, Thecker used her pandemonium amulet, and Topsy dropped into hysterical laughter for the next few minutes. That thing was fucking weird. I found three perfectly round stones, and gave one to Tali and one to Mezzem, keeping one for myself. I didn't know what they did, but they seemed like something we should keep.
When Mezzem was finally done rejuvenating her magic, she revived Tali. Topsy spent some time at the circle, and summoned all of us elemental lizards, they were really fucking cool.
Shortly after we continued on our way to Blingdenstone, we met a svirfneblin caravan heading toward there. They agreed to take us to town if we acted as guards. We should reach Blingdenstone much quicker now, I hope.
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| Photo from Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast
*Author's note: Many of the events, locations and characters that occur in this story are from the Out of the Abyss Adventure Module by Wizards of the Coast.
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